Who I Was Before

Just a one-shot of my two favorite ladies at the moment. This does press into more modern issues, depicting some darker themes that could have on the island as well as some deserved smut from Malvie and or Mevie. Whatever y'all prefer. Obviously I don't own anything, mostly for the beginning scene take out and the song lyrics. Enjoy!

"I'm not coming back, Evie…" I step away and unhook my arms from the blue-haired princess a bit awkwardly and quickly. "I can't...I really tried to tell you." I say. I'm really trying to not sound like a bitch and with all the purest sincerity I can, but it comes out a bit forcefully.

Evie turns away with a little bit of half gasp and half sigh, her arms retreating slowly back to herself. She's already starting to cry. Fuck. I try to direct and "lighten up the mood" without so much added guilt.

"But I mean….I saw the way your face lit up when we saw those dorm rooms for the first time...and, I couldn't spoil that for you." She looks at me boldly again, head held high.

"If you are staying, then I'm staying too." It's confident, but I know it's not what she wants. I KNOW. MY Evie would never be happy here; not after all we had been through to get out. But she says it for ME. Even after leaving with a pathetic note, mostly directed towards Ben, it had hurt my best friend the most, and she was still willingly to put on the most deceiving fake smile and say she was going to stay with me on the abusive isle. Because that is just who she is.

Which makes it all the more reason that she doesn't belong here.

"No." I say sternly, but end it more playfully. Evie doesn't deserve to treated like this, I don't deserve her pity...or whatever that pout she is looking at me with. "Evie...you are an Auradon girl. And I am...and always will be...the girl from the Isle."

She looks away from me, letting her eyes well up with more tears. I figure that this will be the hint for her to walk away; take the boys home and leave me alone. Instead, I hear a final, long sniffle, and her arm is back into the crook of mine, where it was hardly cold from where she had last touched it. She shoots me a shy and sad smile with those red lips, and leads me back up to the loft. We are both quiet walking up the stairs and remain in a blissful silence on the shady balcony. But it feels safe. It always feels safe...or if not safe, it's just okay when Evie is around.

And it's just like old times, back on the Isle. High above on the exclusive balcony, hand in hand, where the wind is harsh and cold at times, but between our two hot bodies, it doesn't even bother us.

Though it had not always been like this. Evie and I had not always been close, or even close to be called remotely friends, per say. I was content to, while not being my mother, to be at least evil. Practice my wickedness with these poor people on the Island. Graffiti the wall, take candy from a baby, what you will. With no fucks given attitude, it didn't blend in well with Evie's personality whatsoever.

She had always been different from everyone on this island. Maybe it's because her mom was a banished Queen, and had brought up Evie to know she was a princess. That was at least better than some of us. And while Evie was not bashful to gloat her obvious beauty, it didn't stop her from being nice to people. For someone whom I know didn't get enough physical affection from her mother (maybe some more than the rest of us) still baffled people with her lack of personal boundaries and tendency to grab hold of anyone and everyone's hands. Maybe because her first ten years locked in castle far away from town, away from even the nastiest people, made her want to hang on and not let go.

I didn't know what to think about her when she first moved closer to the rest of us. She was so weird. So giggly, such a...princess. While she was mostly focused on her looks and her dreams of marrying a handsome prince, didn't mean she wasn't at least pleasant to everyone else.

She never deserved to be here.

I wanted to hate her so bad. I teased on her loads of times those first few weeks of school. Nothing terrible really, but enough to be noticed and gain a polite eye roll with a twinkle of fear in her eye when I approached. But I couldn't help myself, she was just so easy. But at the same time I couldn't help but be enchanted by the strange girl to NOT tease her.

That is until the party.

Uma, daughter of Ursula, threw these parties pretty regularly. Usually kept outside the restaurant. Though sweets were out of the picture, alcohol wasn't. Just like Auradon, to rid of the foul tasting drink, and leave it to all the villians.

But hey, what other fun are you gonna have on the stupid island?

Anyways, I was there with Jay. Not really friends at the time, but we compared our thievery for the day, though Jay was more persistent with the trade. Closest to a friend one could have, I suppose. But she came in with Carlos, cruella Devil's son. I had seen them hang around each other some and gawked at the strange sight. As far as I knew, Carlos was a soft, wimpy, and nerdy kid. Why would she bother herself with him? She was clearly more liked than he was.

But they talked and managed to socialize among the rest of the groups. I proceeded my usual spot, leaning up against a wall, thinking I didn't need anyone. My eyes scanned everyone but would always land back on Evie. And how I could I not? She wasn't lying when she would flaunt her beauty. Her blue hair dangled perfectly next to her tan skin, her dark eyes popping against the blue so perfectly...

"Take a picture, it will last longer." I finally snapped back into reality to no other then Evie, with a coy grin.

I'm taken aback, just for a second. I match with my own sly grin. "I should...add it to my collection. I like something pretty to look at and recognize it in my nightmares."

But she didn't bat an eye and smiled. "You think I'm pretty?" I stifled out a chuckle, but like the one where it is just a forceful amount of air coming out your nose. But I couldn't help but be amused. Evie hadn't been so bold before to confront me on anything, but the alcoholic twinkle in her eyes lead me to believe where the courage came from.

I kept my eyes on her, smirk content on my face while I outreached my hand to Gil who was passing out drinks on a platter and grabbed myself a drink. I gulped it down in one shot, delicately wiping the excess off the corner of my lip. Before I had the chance to step towards her, the drink already consuming my small body in the tingling fever of the alcohol, Evie had already beaten me to the punch. She had a massive grin on her, as she gently flicked her fingers onto my chest, to push me back up against my wall.

If I hadn't been so impressed and turned on, I would have been pissed. I don't give over control easily; or really at all. I call the charges, ESPECIALLY during sex. Or whatever this was, I didn't get pushed against the wall.

And like it.

"Not so tough now are you?" Evie whispered into my ear, and I fought the urge to shiver at her voice. Granted, Evie's voice always sounded like she was trying to seduce someone. Always. But in that moment, it was even sexier. It was aimed for a certain person; that person being ME.

I chuckled again, tilting my head. "And you are, Princess?" I landed one of my hands on her hips, testing the boundaries. While most people on the Isle are complete assholes and thieves, myself included, I didn't want anyone to experience something they didn't want to. Living in a world that had no rules, not being assaulted at least one point in your life was the minority. Even I didn't want to be that evil.

Evie cocks an eyebrow, stepping in even closer. "I figured all that teasing really was just your immature way of flirting." I laugh out loud for that one.

"Really? You don't think the alcohol is just impairing both of us to make...wicked and stupid choices?"

"Drunk thoughts and actions are sober thoughts...and by that logic, wouldn't that be a good thing?" Her mouth just keeps getting closer to my ear, where I can feel her smile on it.

"I suppose…." I say as I rake my fingers up her back slowly, and caress them on the back of her neck.

"You know I'm right." Damn, she was so confident. We had barely talked to one another and now...she is kissing my neck as if this was normal. As if perhaps we have done this before. I would have definitely remembered this though.

How could anything so logically strange feel so good?

And yet...on the Isle of the Lost, it's not a normal deal to think about it. Impulsiveness and acting on emotion is a majority of why things happen around here, "good" or "bad."

She continues to kiss my neck, with a mix of soft brushes and a series of bites. Each bite surges my back to arch into her even more. My hands have taken their place on the back of Evie's hair, underneath where her hair had been pushed up to give it volume, making it easy access for my hand. With each surge, I grabbed a fistful of the blue tangles and pulled. Not too hard to really hurt her, just enough to "regin" her back in, so to speak.

It's my turn to push her off me and I take the heated moment to look at her. Her red lip still is still in tact and I don't feel the residue on my neck whatsoever. I'm only curious for half a second before the gives her sly grin again, and I pull her arms into me, me leaning up against the wall again, her lips against mine.

I can taste the bitter liquid on her lips, and now she had more than I did. I didn't think that such a sissy princess could hold her liquor.

But Evie would always continue to surprise me.

Her arms now locked in my hands, molds her body into mine, her lips soft and curious. I try to delve deeper, but she is persistent to take it slow. For now.

Through the pauses of each kiss, she would use her breath to giggle, before increasing whatever we were doing. Whether it was finding a new part of my body to hold, or her tongue discovering mine, she would continue to giggle each break she got. I couldn't help but at least blow out a chuckle in response. I was sure it was the alcohol bringing out even more of her bubbly personality, but it was so cute. And I normally hate cute.

"Wow Mal….didn't think you to be the type to romance a Princess?" I finally hear Jay call out, and I disconnect from Evie, annoyance waving over me. "Fuck off, Jay."

"Do you really wanna use such foul language in front of a lady royal? C'mon, girl...romancing 101." Jay mocks, his smiles cockily, joining me on the wall. I take a glance at Evie, who doesn't seem annoyed, but rather amused. I'm just pissed off.

"Wanna go?" I ask. She looks back at me and nods, never once letting go of my hand. We pass the party goers, some of them sneering or laughing at us. Typical.

I lead her to my own personal hang out, set up with a bed and most of my stuff. A girl can only take so much at home when your mother is Maleficent.

I lead her onto the bed and drop her off while I make sure the blinds are closed around the building. When I focus on her again, she looks a bit panicked. Of course I immediately believe the drink has worn off and she had realized what she was doing.

But she is looking inside a little mirror, looking at what I assume is herself.

"Um...you wouldn't possibly have some lipstick, would you?" She asks me. I think she already knows the answer, but her eyes plead to be hopeful.

"Uh, why?"

"Because my lipstick is smudged! It's so unattractive...I just….really need to fix it…" She looks like she is shaking a bit and now I feel panicked. She literally didn't look any different. I mean, maybe it was a little worn down from you know...activities... but damn.

"Evie...it's fine. It doesn't need to be perfect. You still look...beautiful." I join her on the bed. Letting our knees touch. This was way too personal for me, but the poor girl looked as if she disappointed someone...and I know how that feels.

She sniffles a little bit. "No I'm not...no one wants to look at me when I look like this…."

"I do." I lean in, kissing her softly. Anything to make her stop, though I couldn't help extend of my empathy towards her, something I hadn't practiced on in a long time. I knew Evie was vain, but I also figured her words were not her own.

She breaks it and gives me a little chuckles and a fake smile. "I'm sorry...crying isn't attractive either...let's just…" She goes to remove my jacket, and once it is off, she discovers the long white scars stripped down my collar bone. She pauses and bites her bottom lip cautiously. And she knows what it is from, or least the idea where such a careful spot of an injury would be placed.

Abuse didn't stem too far or relative from the scumbags on the streets.

And people on the Isle DON'T talk about what goes on at home, we all just know. Our parents are villains for wicked's sake. While some kids endured injuries, we were all manipulated psychologically and emotionally. Much like Evie.

I push my own memory of the scar down and want to just push the princess down on the bed and kiss her. Fuck her, I don't care. As long as emotions don't have to get involved. But She finally makes her move and bends down to kiss the scar softly and slowly. Her dark eyes reach my green ones, only a glimpse of pity casts in her eyes, before she cups my face into her hands and once again brings her lips to mine.

Her hands are comforting but too intimate for what I was planning for. But in the moment, I didn't care. It was survival.

And let's be clear on a couple things. Physical contact was not forbidden, but not encouraged on the Isle. Parents didn't give it to their children, and anything romantic or friendly was sneered and teased on. People on the Isle didn't date. They didn't hold hands, kiss each other, or go on dates. We fucked. We made out. We messed around, whatever. It wasn't supposed to be an emotionally binding thing; it was meant for crazy fun. But it was the only way for kids to receive any sort of acceptable affection on the Isle. And that meant whoever would give it to you.

Second thing; and I mean, anyone could give it to you. Coming to Auradon, I had no idea of society's standards. On the Isle, you could fuck anyone you wanted; girl or boy. No one batted an eye, as long as you didn't openly dream of marrying one specific person, purposefully have children with them, and go on dates. But in Auradon, it was strictly man and woman in relationships. That was their goal, besides education and union. Sex and what came after that, and definitely wasn't encouraged. The same genders could be friendly towards one another, girls holding onto each other because they were excited over a boy, was acceptable. But a relationship? Wasn't heard of, or it was a secret.

Which was really hard to adapt to at first. Granted when Evie and I came to Auradon, we hadn't been as close as we had been six months into living in Auradon. We did continue to having sex, kissing, and sometimes we cuddled on the Isle after the party. But it wasn't an emotional thing. It was a mutual understanding on what we needed.

And only having the four of us in Aurdon, grew us even closer on an emotional level and a real friendship. And Evie got even more affectionate with the hugs and hand holding, and even with the preppy kid's weird stares, she didn't care. And if she didn't, I didn't.

We could still be us on the Isle, comforted in understanding and intimacy, without so much shame, but be somewhere with more opportunity.

And here I was now, having run away from it all. Back to the stinky, abusive, and terrible island. Willingly.

But here was Evie, my princess coming to rescue me. Or at least try to at first. We hold each other on the balcony, before she leads me back into my "room." We stand in front of my bed, and I look at it sparingly, smiling a little from the old memory. I could feel her eyes on me and I look up at her shyly.

"And you can find me in the space between

Where two worlds come to meet

I'll never be out of reach

Cause you're a part of me

No matter where you go."

I can't help but squeak out a sniffle, because it is so Evie. To know it was important for me to stay, but...to know I was still important to her. We would always have what we had on this island and what had developed in Auradon.

And it hurts to know that I couldn't change like she could and adapt better to life in Auradon. I couldn't do it for Ben, for Carlos or Jay.

Or Evie.

I was too damaged, to molded by this life to fit anywhere else.

She then touches my scar once again, this time her right index finger, tracing along its curves.

"Be proud of all the scars

They make you who you are"

I let the tear rush down my cheek, give in and let my forehead fall into Evie's, where she seems to already be ready for it. My eyes shut tight.

"Even if we're worlds apart

You're still in my heart

It will always be you and me."

"I love you, E."

It's silent, only for a second before her lips are on mine once again. Something that hasn't happened since before we moved to Auradon. It's soft and powerful all at the same time, but equally quick.

"I love you too, M."