Day Four…

"-and he worked there for free! You see that ramen that you're eating? He probably put a curse on it or something, because she went crazy with Ramen Withdrawal Syndrome while he was off in the Crimson Demon Village adding another girl to his harem! She nearly froze me solid with ice magic! I thought I was gonna die!"

Kazuma shouted while pointing an accusing finger at the one responsible.

"Basically, I sometimes help out in our friend Wiz's magic item shop when it's doing bad, and she loves ramen, like, a lot. Also, I have no harem. I traveled to the Crimson Demon Village with Jiraiya-sensei in search of a mage for my own party."

Naruto idly retorted with a wave of his hand.

Iris was rewarded with an extra long lunch break from her lessons, and she'd begged Naruto to make more of his ramen. Of course he very well couldn't say no after seeing such a display from the normally docile princess.

"Eh? Wait, are you referring to the former Hero Candidate Jiraiya? You're the disciple of that despicable man!?"

Claire's eyes were wide with disbelief, her chopsticks falling out of her hand and into her recently emptied third bowl. There was no way that lecherous thing was responsible for the rise of such a gallant hero!

"Hey, show some respect to Ero-senin! As a man who reads his genius-level books once or ten times a week, I can confidently say that anyone would enjoy Icha Icha Paradise! Don't worry, Iris. Onii-sama always carries a spare for situations like this."

Kazuma barked before referring to a strange marking on his left arm.

"Insolent bumpkin…! Putting aside your constant disrespect towards nobles, I will not tolerate any mention of that man's poor excuse for literature in front of Iris-sama! Don't you dare taint her innocent heart with that man's smut! It is beyond me how those books have sold so many copies…"

Claire warned before pinching the bridge of her nose. While Icha Icha Paradise wasn't that popular amongst the women of the capital, it sold like hotcakes to nearly all of the men. She even heard some of the nobles kept an entire room in their mansions that was dedicated to that wretched series.

"Why does all the scum make all the money in the world…"

Rain mumbled to herself as she poked at a droplet of soup that was left in her empty bowl. She'd have eaten a second, but if what Kazuma said about the weight gain was true… Well, she was not nearly as physically active as Claire and didn't want to take the risk.

"Jiraiya-sama is always very polite to me though, and he brings me souvenirs from all over the kingdom during his visits with father!"

Iris chirped while thinking back to the strange tales she'd heard from the older man. Come to think of it, she vaguely remembered Jiraiya mentioning something about how he'd reunited with his long lost student. To think that student was Naruto.

"Good, otherwise Naruto-nii would have to teach that old man a lesson."

Naruto said with a charming smile, prompting the little girl to tilt her head in confusion.

"Well, I'm just glad Naruto-dono doesn't seem to have fallen down the same path as his mentor."

Claire muttered with a nod, prompting the shinobi to chuckle awkwardly.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. Naruto's done some very questionable things in the past. Like touching women's hair while they sleep, and rubbing unspeakable substances on young girls."

"!"

Kazuma noted nonchalantly, prompting Naruto to choke on his ramen.

After clearing his throat, the ninja glared daggers at his fellow adventurer. Luckily, the girls were used to Kazuma's exaggerations by now. But this guy was going to get it.

"Oh, Kazuma… Are you spouting such nonsense because you're still upset over losing to Her Highness earlier? Perhaps you would like to vent out those frustrations in a sparring match with me?"

Naruto asked, suppressing his urge to smirk when Kazuma's face paled.

"Oh, I would love to see how Kazuma-dono performs in battle after hearing about his exploits. Wouldn't you, Your Highness?"

Claire added with a smirk that was not nearly as subtle.

'Damn it…! Those two really resonate when teaming up on me! This isn't fair!'

Kazuma thought while sending a pleading look to Iris, hoping his precious little sister would bail him out of this situation.

Iris smiled pleasantly.

"I would love to watch a sparring match between Naruto-nii and onii-sama-"

"Onii-sama is sorry for cheating! So please, spare me!"

XXXXXXXX

Day Five…

"Onii-sama, what's Naruto-nii doing?"

Iris had just finished her lessons for the day and immediately ran to the usual spot where Kazuma and Naruto would wait for her.

"Oh, that guy? He said something about fighting his inner demons and just sat in the middle of the courtyard."

Kazuma replied with a shrug.

"Oh, the demon fox that lives inside him? I'd really like to meet them!"

Iris claimed with sparkles in her eyes. After all, Naruto had told her about some of the battles where he'd used the fox's power. One of which being the battle against the infamous Mobile Fortress Destroyer!

A mischievous smile formed on Kazuma's face.

"Hey, let's prank Naruto!"

With the guy sitting completely still like that, it was the perfect chance to get back at him for all the pranks he had beguiled Iris into pulling on him!

"Eh? But Naruto-nii hasn't done anything to warrant punishment, unlike onii-sama."

Iris replied with an innocent expression.

"S-such stinging words… But listen, Iris! Can't you see that this might be the only chance we'll get to prank Naruto!? I can't tell you how many stunts that man has pulled off back in Axel… It's about time he got a taste of his own medicine!"

Kazuma insisted, and this seemed to garnish the young girl's interest.

"M-maybe onii-sama is right…! Okay, I'll get some paint!"

"Atta girl, Iris!"

–After gathering their materials, Kazuma and Iris stood in front of the meditating Naruto.

"I know I talked a big game, but now that we're about to do it I'm kinda nervous…"

"I-it's too late to back out now! Like onii-sama said, this might be our only chance!"

While Kazuma was beginning to get cold feet, Iris's eyes burned with mischief as she dabbed a brush into some red paint.

But just as the bristles were about to make contact with the shinobi's skin, a deep voice grumbled from below.

"So this is the first princess of the Kingdom of Belzerg. Now I see why my host has decided to stay within these walls…"

"!?"

Iris jolted, nearly dropping all of her painting supplies as a mass of golden energy emerged from Naruto's abdomen.

Kazuma gulped. He'd forgotten the fox had an ability like this!

"Greetings. I am Kurama, the nine tailed fox that resides within this brat in which you were about to… Prank, it seems."

Kurama noted while eyeing the two cowering humans.

"W-we're sorry, Kurama-sama… Did you come out to stop us from pranking Naruto-nii?"

Iris squeaked from her spot behind Kazuma.

"Stop you? Keh! I merely came out to make sure you drew something worthwhile."

Kazuma blinked. Well that was a surprising turn of events.

"Do you have any requests, Kurama-san?"

. . .

Naruto opened his eyes to see that the sun was beginning to set. Was it already that time? Iris was probably done with her lessons by now.

Sure enough, Iris and Kazuma were playing a game at the table. Claire stood by with an irritated look on her face, likely due to another argument with the adventurer.

"Hello, Princess Iris! Did I make you wait?"

"Pfft…! N-not at all, Naruto-nii! How was your meditation?"

Iris asked while seemingly struggling to keep a straight face. In fact, the girl failed to even make eye contact with him.

Strange…

"It was fine... Claire-san, did something happen while I was preoccupied? Did Kazuma do something inappropriate again? If so, then I apologize…"

"N-no… I mean, but, umm… I should be the one to apologize, Naruto-dono. I wasn't here to stop them…"

Claire stuttered and timidly tapped a finger on her reddened cheeks.

Naruto blinked, took one look at Kazuma's smug expression, before he quickly made a Shadow Clone. Both he and the clone grimaced upon seeing the "art" that had been graciously drawn on his face.

Various marks and drawings populated his cheeks, such as swirls, funny faces, and little animals. But what really got him were the bolded letters that spelled out "Hopeless Ramentic" on his forehead.

"..."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched as the doppelganger disappeared. He was about to unleash his wrath on his fellow adventurer when Iris suddenly started giggling uncontrollably.

"I-I'm sorry, Naruti-nii… Hee hee hee… K-Kurama-sama just has such a great sense of humor!"

'Kurama!?'

Naruto barked into his mind, earning a low rumbling chuckle from the tailed beast.

'It's true, though.'

This damn fox…!

In spite of his anger, the jovial sounds of Iris's giggles slowly picked away at his defenses until Naruto started laughing himself. Even Claire couldn't help but giggle at the humorous scene.

It seemed the Princess was acquiring a mischievous side.

XXXXXXXX

Day Six…

"Hey, Iris? Wanna see a fun trick? It's called: Find a Needle in a Haystack!"

Naruto asked and gestured towards a large pile of hay that was sitting in the center of the courtyard.

"Yes! I was wondering what those servants were doing moving all that hay… So this was Naruto-nii's doing?"

Iris eagerly responded, causing the shinobi to chuckle from her excitement.

"Yup! Alright, so this is how it works…"

As Naruto was explaining the rules to Iris, Kazuma watched with a scrutinous expression.

"Oh, I've never heard of such a game. I wonder if this is something Naruto-dono brought from his home country."

Claire wondered aloud, prompting Kazuma's eyebrow to twitch.

What game? Didn't they know that "finding a needle in a haystack" was just a metaphor? There was no game!

They already had a perfectly good game that Naruto so rudely interrupted. Kazuma still had to beat Iris three more times to make up for yesterday's losses!

"Okay, I'll give it my best!"

Iris chirped and threw the small needle into the large haystack. Then, to their surprise, Naruto dove straight into the pile.

"Here!"

They heard him shout victoriously before the shinobi burst out of the hay while holding the pin up in the air.

"Wow! That's amazing, Naruto-nii!"

"Certainly impressive, Naruto-dono!"

Iris and Claire cheered as the teen fully emerged from the haystack and gave them a bow.

'He probably has a bunch of needles in his pocket or something.'

Kazuma thought while rolling his eyes.

It was time to expose this ninja!

"I have an added challenge for you, Naruto."

"Oh? Pray tell what it is, Kazuma."

Naruto responded to the boy's challenge with a confident grin.

Kazuma grunted and grabbed the pin, plucked a hair from his head, and proceeded to tie it onto the needle through the hole like a thread. With a satisfied nod, the boy threw it into the haystack.

"Heh… So you doubt the authenticity of my trick, do you? Very well! I, Naruto Uzumaki, accept your challenge!"

Naruto shouted and dove back into the pile of hay.

Iris watched in anticipation as the hay shuffled. While she trusted Naruto to not cheat like Kazuma, she'd be lying if the thought hadn't occurred to her.

With the brown hair that had been tied to the needle, there was no way Naruto would be able to get away with emerging with a spare from his pocket.

"Ahah! Behold! The true power of a ninja!"

Naruto shouted and burst out of the haystack, showering the two with straws. Upon close inspection, Kazuma's brown hair was still tied to the needle.

"Amazing! Naruto-nii is amazing!"

Iris celebrated by throwing some hay into the air.

"Hehe… Thank you! Ah! Hey, watch the hay! Hahaha!"

Naruto retaliated by scooping up some hay and dropping it on the princess, earning a squeal of laughter from the young girl.

'How is he doing that!? He's gotta be cheating!'

Kazuma thought as he chewed on his nail in frustration and stomped his way back to the table. He then looked at Claire, noticing the fond smile on her face.

That suspicious expression… As expected of Naruto the Player.

'I guess now's the time to put my plan into action.'

With that thought, Kazuma cleared his throat to draw Claire's attention. The moment she turned to face him, an unpleasant look formed on the noblewoman's face.

What was with that expression? All he did was clear his throat? He really wanted to slap this woman for the contrast in treatment.

"Listen, Claire-san. I know we have our differences, but I can be an important ally, you know?"

"I don't have time for your schemes, Kazuma-dono. I'm too busy watching Iris-sama interact with her important guest."

Claire all but spat, causing the adventurer's smile to crack.

Schemes? Also, was she implying he wasn't important? How rude.

But he kept his temper in check and held his hands up innocently.

"I understand why you might feel this sort of way towards me. After all, Naruto is such a great guy. In comparison to him, I hate to admit that I'm not much."

"Not much is putting it lightly. Naruto-dono is strong, polite, and quite handsome. You are weak, insolent, and completely unremarkable in the looks department."

T-this bitch…!

"Be that as it may, I can't help but notice how close you and Naruto have become and I must say, you two make quite the pair."

Kazuma idly commented while concealing his wrath, and Claire's expression changed from sour, to surprised, to bashful.

"N-no… I mean, we have been sparring every morning, and I respect him a lot as a warrior. But surely you are mistaken, Kazuma-dono."

The Symphonia heiress stuttered while twirling a strand of her hair.

'So easy.'

Kazuma thought with a flat expression, but he continued to apply pressure.

"You said it yourself, right? He's strong, polite, and handsome. You're the elder daughter of one of the great noble families, right? What better suitor than a Hero Candidate with many achievements under his belt. Plus, he's already wearing your family's armor."

"I-I suppose Naruto-dono does look quite handsome in the Symphonia suit."

Claire found herself saying, only to blush and shake her head.

"No! It is my sworn duty to protect Her Highness! I do not have time to be thinking about potential suitors-"

"If you two marry and have children, they'll probably look like Iris."

"...!"

Claire looked at Naruto and Iris playing in the haystack, an image of herself materializing in the mix. A small bead of blood dribbled out of her nose as her imagination began to run wild.

"I-I will discuss this matter no further!"

The noblewoman abruptly stood and stormed off.

Kazuma smirked. That was seriously way too easy.

XXXXXXXX

Day Seven…

"I think onii-sama should go home."

…Huh?

Kazuma stood there, dumbfounded at what had just come out of the princess's mouth.

"I'm sorry, Iris. Onii-sama's hearing must have gone bad just now. Could you say that again?"

"I said that I think onii-sama should go home. Naruto-nii can stay though."

Iris repeated with a cold expression before she popped into a cloud of white smoke.

. . .

"Damn it Naruto! That's hitting below the belt!"

Kazuma took off running down the hall to search for the shinobi. He rounded the corner and spotted two mops of blonde hair.

That blasted ninja must have been distracting him so he could get some more alone time with the princess!

"Thought you could trick me, you-"

But just as he was about to reach them, Claire suddenly emerged from one of the rooms and spotted him.

"Kazuma-dono! A moment of your time, if you would."

"Get out of my way! I have to make Naruto suffer!"

Kazuma ordered and prepared to run right past the woman, but she grabbed his hand at the last second. They spun, only to stop with Claire leaning over him.

Thump!

The boy's heart leapt as the female knight gazed down at him with complete confidence.

…Wait a minute, why was he being swooned like some maiden!? Claire was a beauty with a figure that he would consider his ideal body type, but her personality was far too stiff.

"Kazuma-dono, I have come to a realization that I may have overlooked your good qualities. You are a man that has achieved many great feats in this kingdom, and I have failed to treat you with the respect you deserve."

…Oh? What was this? This rude suited woman was actually saying some decent things to him? Did he just unlock the Claire route?

Straightening himself, Kazuma ran a hand through his hair and looked the woman directly in the eyes.

"Is that so? I guess I can overlook your rashness on account of the princess."

"That is very kind of you, Kazuma-dono. If you would allow me to make it up to you, shall we dine under the starlit sky tonight and you can tell me more of your heroic deeds?"

Claire asked with a small smile on her lips.

Oh? Oh?

Kazuma didn't know how he did it, but this was definitely a sign that he had unlocked the Claire route.

"That sounds delightful, Claire-san. I look forward to dining with you."

With promises made, Kazuma turned on his heel and continued down the hall.

What was he doing again?

"Onii-sama is a brute."

"!?"

Kazuma spun around and spotted Iris poking her head out of one of the rooms. The moment their eyes met, she blew him a raspberry and closed the door.

That's right! Naruto had to pay for this treachery!

Finding himself in the courtyard, Kazuma looked around and spotted Rain walking towards the northern building.

"Rain! Have you seen Naruto!? That man is turning into Princess Iris and saying unforgivable things with her cute voice!"

"Oh, hello Kazuma-sama. No, I have not seen Naruto-sama. But I'm glad to have run into you. I wanted to ask if you could partake in Iris's next battle tactics lesson as my co-teacher."

Rain asked something incredible, and Kazuma nearly faltered in his stance.

"Me? Co-teach? I mean, I'll admit that I'm pretty good at strategy games, but I could have sworn I heard you scoff while I was revealing my grand tactics during one of my games with Iris…"

"You must have imagined that. As you know, Iris is quite the gifted child. It is not often she is defeated in tactical prowess, and I was very impressed by your victory over her the other day. I figured your insight might prove useful during her lessons… Is that a no?"

Rain asked with a slight frown to her lips.

T-this mage onee-san was actually kinda cute…

"Leave it to me! I'll be up bright and early to offer my genius-level insight!"

Kazuma boasted while puffing out his chest.

Was this his lucky day or what!? Perhaps his popular period was finally starting! No Orcs, no Chimeras, and no lolis! A true popular period!

Now, what to do to kill time until his date with Claire…

…Hang on, something didn't seem right. Just why were Iris's bodyguards suddenly being nice to him?

"Onii-sama! I hate cheaters!"

"Guh…!"

Kazuma's thoughts shattered along with his heart when he heard the treacherous words in Iris's voice. Looking up, he saw Iris staring down at him. Naruto stood next to the girl, a shit eating grin on his face.

This guy…!

Even if he cheated again to get another victory off of Iris, there was no way in hell that sweet little girl would say such terrible things!

–A few hours of cat and mouse had passed, but Kazuma never ended up finding Naruto and Iris. In fact, the sun was beginning to set. He dragged his feet as he made his way towards the building with his room.

"Where are you, Iris… Onii-sama's lonely…"

Oh well… At least he had that dinner to look forward to. Maybe Claire would let him vent about Naruto and his cruelty today.

"Ah, there she is."

Kazuma noticed Claire walking towards the staircase. She appeared to be holding a platter in her hands.

Was that their dinner?

Growing excited, Kazuma put on his coolest expression and made his way towards the female knight.

"Good evening, Claire-san. I have been looking forward to our date all day. Did you cook that just for me?"

"What nonsense are you babbling, Kazuma-dono? These snacks are for Iris-sama and Naruto-dono who have been playing in her room ever since you cheated your way to victory again earlier."

Claire interjected with a look on her face similar to that of someone who had just stepped in something unpleasant.

"W-what do you mean, Claire-san? What happened to 'dining under the starlit night'?"

Kazuma asked with a shaky voice, but Claire sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Lady Dustiness must really have her hands full with you."

Was all she said before ascending the stairs, leaving the adventurer behind.

Minutes passed as the teen stood there, frozen like a statue.

"Kazuma-sama? Are you feeling alright? The Priests have surely recovered from their attempt today, would you like to see one?"

Rain, who was making her way down the stairs, asked with a concerned expression on her normally stoic face.

"I don't suppose you recall asking me to take part in Iris's lessons, do you?"

"I would sooner drop dead than willingly let you influence Iris's battle tactics with your despicable methods."

Rain's expression remained the same while saying that, which was actually kind of scary.

'...Ah, I get it now. The fake Iris really was a distraction.'

Kazuma thought and started making his way up the stairs to go to bed.

If this was the repercussion, he would never cheat against Iris again.

–Kazuma would later break that resolution after losing another game.

XXXXXXXX

And so, a week had passed since Naruto and Kazuma arrived at the royal capital.

The sun had barely risen when Naruto woke up and he immediately began his daily routine which consisted of some stretching, push-ups, and a cup of tea that was brought by their assigned butler.

"Thank you, Heidel. Your tea always hits the spot."

"But of course, Naruto-sama. Claire-sama is waiting for you in the courtyard. Your gear has been washed and readied for you. I shall leave it on the table."

–On the other side of the hall a good three hours later, Kazuma awoke before he, too, began his daily routine.

Clapping his hands together, the door opened to reveal their assigned maid.

"Angelica, would you please help me out of my robes. My body is feeling sore after yesterday's training."

"Naruto-sama has informed me that Kazuma-sama shouldn't be sore today because he did no such training. I will leave today's outfit on the table like usual."

"..."

Damn that ninja! It wasn't enough to deprive him of his precious time with Princess Iris, the guy had to go and ruin his morning routine that consisted of sexually harassing his maid!?

Grumbling to himself, Kazuma begrudgingly sat up and was about to start changing when he heard another knock on the door.

Oh? Was his maid back to properly perform her duties?

"Angelica~! Geh…!"

But upon opening the door, Kazuma fell back when he came face to face with the person that he wanted to see the least in this world.

"...What are you doing, hikiNEET? It's almost noon."

Aqua asked with a flat expression, her eyes scornful as she stared down at the startled boy.

"Coming from the one who sleeps in later than me and immediately day drinks if left unchecked!?"

Kazuma jumped to his feet and barked in retaliation.

'Wait a second… This isn't Naruto pulling a fast one on me again to try and get more alone time with Iris, is it?'

After all, the incident with Claire and Rain only just happened yesterday. Surely Naruto didn't think he was dumb enough to fall for the same trick twice, was he?

"Hah? Don't lump me in with a hikiNEET who lazes around at the royal castle for a week straight without writing to his party! I even held back from telling the others you sniff our laundry while we're in the bath! But if you want to make it up to me, then take me to the royal wine~!"

Aqua cooed while smacking her lips with a thirst that was all too familiar.

…Nope, this was the real Aqua alright. There was only one blue thing in the world that could piss him off to this extent in such a short-

'Wait a minute, this is all wrong!'

Why was Aqua here!? Who even let her in!? Kazuma threw himself onto his bed and covered his ears while kicking and screaming.

"Change! If I'm gonna have a goddess appear in my sanctuary, then I demand a goddess change!"

"Onii-sama?"

A new voice came from the door, and Kazuma opened his eyes to find Iris standing at the door with a concerned expression on her face.

…Huh?

–Kazuma's mind raced as he and Iris made their way through the castle halls. The princess didn't have lessons today, so she had come to ask if he wanted to play after hearing from Angelica that he was awake.

Apparently, Naruto was still training with Claire. But the adventurer didn't have a chance to enjoy his extra time alone with the princess.

Because-

"Are you sure you didn't see a blue haired woman walking around? It's the Arch Priest from my party. She's way too loud and obnoxious for you to miss!"

"Are you teasing me, onii-sama? Or is this another one of your tricks to get me to lower my guard in our game today?"

Iris asked with suspicious eyes.

'The fact that you don't believe your onii-sama really stings, Iris…'

Kazuma thought with tears streaming down his face as they were exiting the castle. He immediately noticed something peculiar in the distance. A speck of blue sneaking along the wall and into the castle.

Coincidentally, it just so happened to be the building where the kitchen was located.

"...I'll be right back, Iris! Onii-sama needs to take care of something!"

Kazuma took off running, leaving behind a very confused Iris.

There was no way he was about to let that blue thing ruin his stay at the castle!

Upon entering the building, Kazuma ran past a few surprised servants and rounded a corner where he remembered the kitchen was at.

Lunch wouldn't be prepared for another hour or so, which meant the kitchen was completely empty… Save for the Goddess of Wine digging through the wine rack to stay true to her title.

"What are you doing!?"

"Waaah!? …Oh, it's just Kazuma. Did you come to help me carry these back to your room?"

Aqua asked and held out a bottle for Kazuma to take, and he immediately snatched it from her hands.

"No! Are you trying to get me kicked out of the castle!? Also, where's Darkness and Megumin? Surely they know better than to leave you unchecked in such an important place."

Kazuma barked before replacing the wine on the rack and ushering the woman towards the exit.

"Hey, why are you getting in my way!? I have to start now if I'm going to make up for a week's worth of drinking that I missed out on!"

Leaving aside how little sense that made, was this girl really going to drink that much wine?

Kazuma didn't even begin to fathom just how expensive a single bottle of this stuff might cost… If Aqua were to go all out, he'd be in debt for two whole lifetimes!

"Come on, we're going back to my room. You can hang out there until-"

"Hey, did you hear voices? Are the others getting a head start on lunch?"

They heard voices outside, and Kazuma barely had enough time to pull Aqua to the side and activate Lurk when the doors opened as two chefs walked inside.

"Huh? That's weird… I could have sworn I heard something."

"Oh well, might as well get started. Can't keep letting Naruto-sama show us up!"

As the chefs started gathering ingredients, Kazuma looked at Aqua and put a finger to his lips. After receiving a nod from the girl, he led them out of the kitchen.

Luckily, there was no one else in the hallway and the two were able to make a quick escape.

"Phew~! That was a close one~! It's a good thing I managed to snag a bottle on our way out!"

Aqua said while snuggling the wine to her face.

When had she…!?

"Give me that!"

Swiping the bottle out of her hands, Kazuma pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried, and failed, to control his temper.

"Honestly, I just can't with you! Is it your soul purpose to cause trouble for me!? I swear, if you don't-"

"Kazuma-dono… Who are you talking to?"

Kazuma's eyes snapped open to find Claire and Rain staring at him with deadpanned expressions.

"I swear, this man is becoming more and more depraved as the days pass by…"

"I heard from Princess Iris that he was talking to himself earlier…"

Their words nearly sent the boy over the edge, but he clung onto his sanity when he saw Iris sitting at the table in the center of the courtyard.

"M-my party member… She was just here… Blue hair…?"

But the woman's expressions only seemed to turn sour, and he realized what he must have looked like in their eyes.

Disheveled, out of breath, and mumbling things about a person they have not seen while holding a bottle of wine.

Clearly, he'd been had. Again.

"Here… I'll be in my room."

Feeling defeated, Kazuma passed off the wine to Claire before making his way towards the castle.

He would properly apologize to Iris and Naruto for his childish behavior in the morning. But for now, he just wanted to shut himself in his room.

"Oh, hey Kazuma. Where are you going? Iris and I were about to start a game, although I'm not feeling very confident. Why don't you join my team and act as my advisor? Would you allow this, Iris?"

"Yes, of course Naruto-nii."

Naruto, the main source of his troubles, asked such a question while offering his hand to shake.

'This damn ninja… How can he have such a genuine smile after everything he's done?'

Then again, Kazuma had been the one to start this silly rivalry for Iris's attention in the first place.

Could this be what they called divine retribution?

But wait… Why was Naruto asking for his help?

'Is he… Asking for a truce?'

This guy…

"...Alright, let's take down Her Highness once and for all!"

"That's the spirit, Kazuma! I hope you're ready, Princess Iris… Because Kazuma and I make a pretty good team!"

–Naruto and Kazuma would proceed to experience a total loss at the hands of the princess.

XXXXXXXX

A/N: Fuahahaha! The answer was the secret option number three: Kazuma, who was driven to insanity by our resident ninja and his pranks!

This was by far some of the most fun that I've had while writing a chapter! Naruto and Kazuma are just too chaotic together, and the tug war for Iris's attention proved to be a Wonderful catalyst for their personalities to clash!

But all good things must come to an end… Next week, a certain Crusader crashes the party!

Review and let me know what you all thought of the chapter!

Spirit out!