Liam just got in the house as I closed my laptop: I was listening to Nick's new song 'wedding bells' when I shouldn't because I'm engaged. It's not fair to Liam at all, but Nick is my friend and Liam is going to have to deal with it.
Nick and I dated on June 11, 2006 and we broke up on December 19, 2007. I, honestly, miss him, but he's dating Olivia-miss universe-right now so I can't do anything about it. His brothers, Kevin and joe, were there for me.
Mainly it was Joe because Kevin is married and joe was just dealing with his break up with Demi Lovato so joe and I were there for each other but sometimes it's kind of awkward between us for several different reasons.
Everyone was there for Nick as well as me, but like I said it's awkward for joe and I to be in the same room together.
Joe just called me because he and Demi broke up and Nick was dealing with his breakup from me and didn't feel like talking to anyone, so I came over there with my key that Denise gave me just in case one of the boys needed my help and she and Paul weren't there. She trusted me because she knew that I'm a good person.
I unlocked the door with my key and walked in. "Joe? Are you here?" I asked as he came in the room. The way he looked shocked and surprised me.
I knew that he was upset and devastated, but I didn't know that he would look this bad. I walked over and hugged him.
"It's going to be okay. Demi cares about you: but it will take time to heal."
"I left when she needed me the most. Like Nick did to you." I flinched at the mention of his younger brother who is my ex boyfriend/first love.
"I am so sorry about not taking your side during your fight with Demi and Selena. Kevin and Nick feel bad about it as well." Joe looked at me straight in the eyes.
"Nick misses you, a lot. He really does love you and cares about you. He feels bad about your breakup and he feels worse about taking Selena and Demi's side as well so it's worse for him then it is for me. I've already forgiven myself about the whole Disney darlings fight between you, Selena and Demi, but Nick hasn't." I flinch when I hear his name and hers.
Then something happened between Joe and myself that I never thought would happen and I have never feel conflicted in my life, but we decided not to tell Nick and keep it from him until he gets over our breakup.
"Please don't tell Nick what happened tonight. I'm also talking about what you saw when you walked in. He would be furious if he found out what I've already been keeping from him."
I nodded: Nick didn't need to know what's been happening with Joe without anyone around. No one needs to. But we also can't tell him about what just happened between his older brother and myself.
Joe and I decided that it was best if we forget that whole night. It's was 3 years ago since he and I have barely talked and it's even worse because we are the only ones who know about it. Nick wouldn't be happy if he knew about it. He would be very angry especially since we decided to keep it from him that very day and because he was still dealing with our breakup.
I had to go for a drive because I couldn't think straight, so I grabbed my keys and left the house Liam and I shared. I could feel Liam looking at me as I left, but I didn't care. I ended up driving for about a half an hour but I ended up at the Jonas residence.
I unlocked the door and joe, Kevin, Nick, Frankie, Denise, Paul, Demi and Selena were in the living room. I looked at Joe for about 10 seconds before I went out the door and left.
I can't think straight and I don't know why.
We had Demi and Selena over at the house so Demi, my brothers and I could talk about the tour and Demi didn't want to bail on Selena for girls night out so she decided to hangout with us.
I broke out of my thoughts when someone unlocked our door as Miley came in. I was about to give her a hug since we are friends and she's engaged but she stared at joe-for so long I thought they might be hiding something from me-before she left and drove away.
"What's up with her?" Kevin asked as everyone stared at Joe suspiciously like he knew something we didn't.
I can't believe Miley came in here and then left. Everyone stared at me after Kevin asked what was up with Miley. She and I decided to keep that a secret because she knew that if Nick found out the the band would break up and Nick would never forgive us. Not to mention that she didn't want to be the reason behind the band's break up or Nick never talking to us again if he found out so we decided not to tell anyone especially since Miley and Nick started being friends again and the band was going strong.
I understand why she doesn't want to be the reason for Nick to be furious with us right after they broke up but he's my brother and I'm sure he will understand. I feel guilty because Nick was upset about his breakup when the incident with Miley happened and because I basically broke the Jonas book of rules: never let a girl get between brothers or family.
That's why I couldn't tell Nick because he wouldn't be happy but it happened 3 years ago so it's ancient history. Nick is my brother and I don't want him to get hurt however Miley and I are hurting him the more we are keeping it from him.
I left the Jonas house and drove off. I knew that Nick wouldn't be happy if he found out but I love him. Joe and I are both trying to protect him but we are still hurting him without him knowing it. It's been 3 years and we may have to keep it from him forever because it's too late to bring it up now.
I decided to take a little break from everything and go on vacation so I drove to the airport and grabbed my luggage before getting out of the car. I already had my luggage packed before Liam got home and it was already in my car by the time he got home.
I walked to the airport and put my stuff on the luggage claim and went through security before I got my backs and waited to board my plane. I know that I was running from my problems but I couldn't face Nick after what happened between joe and myself if he finds out even though it happened one time. I can't hurt Nick.
He needs to be with Selena. She's pretty and would never betray him like I did. That thought killed me to admit but it's true. I didn't have a choice. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid that would ruin the band and my friendship with Nick. Not to mention it wouldn't only cause a rift between Nick and the band-and his relationship with his brother-but Nick and myself as well.
I couldn't do that to him so I had to get away for a while so I decided to leave everything behind me. I hope I made the right decision.
My phone rang: Joe. It rang a few more times. Kevin, Denise, Nick, Paul, Demi, Taylor, Selena.
Nick called the most but I ignored all calls.
I got on the plane and said goodbye to Hollywood.