Episode 5; One night at Willy Wombat's
"Cowabunga, dude!" Mikey exclaimed, slamming the button on his Atari controller. "This is sooo awesome! I just can't believe I'm getting such a mega-high score!"
The mutant turtle was playing on his Atari 2600 with Keno, and racking up a high score on the video game combat. As Mikey blew away Keno's tank for the 100th time, the pizza delivery guy threw his controller at the screen in frustration.
"Awww man, this totally stinks!" Keno groaned. "You totally dominated this one, Michelangelo. I'm no good at Atari combat on the tank mode."
"Oh come on, dude! It's not that bad!" Mikey protested. "You totally dominated when we played fighter jet mode, no way I can keep up with you in the skies, man."
"Yeahhhh, but the games we're playing are super lame." Keno groaned. "I wish we could go and play some arcade games, that's where it's at!"
"Oh, come on, dude!" Michelangelo laughed. "There aren't any arcades left in this neighborhood, they all closed during the arcade crash last year!"
Keno though for a moment, then a slow smile began to creep across his face.
"Hmmmm, Mikey... I think I know where we can go and play some arcade games." The pizza guy stood up, motioning for the confused turtle to follow him. "It might be a little creepy, but it should be a whole lot of fun!"
"I dunno, man. I'm not supposed to be seen by people in public, and all." Mikey replied in a worried tone. "How can I go into an arcade, without being seen?"
"Don't worry about it, my man." Keno reassured him. "There's nobody to see you, in the totally awesome place where we're going!"
As the two party dudes made their way towards the surface, the turtle began to get curious about their destination.
"Say, Keno?" He asked. "So, like, where is this totally cool place you know of, where we're going?"
"Well, it's a well known legend among us pizza delivery guys." Keno explained. "Have you ever heard of the legend of Pizzaface?"
"No, but it sounds kinda weird, man." Mikey shivered. "What's the story?"
"Well, way back in 1979, two guys named Rufus Higbee and Bogart Flywheel created a restaurant called Willy Wombat's pizzeria. It was a restaurant where people could go to eat pizza, watch stage shows, and play video games with their families."
"Ohhh, ohhh! I know about that place!" Mikey exclaimed. "That where they had all of those mechanical funny animals characters who sing and dance on stage! I grew up on those commercials, man!"
"Yep, I had a birthday party there one year, myself." Keno laughed. "Anyway, the first one opened here in Empire City, and soon it was so successful, Willy Wombat's pizzerias opened all over the country. This place was huge for many years; Higbee handled the business end of things, while Flywheel handled the animatronics and video games. Also, the two had hired a gourmet pizza chef named Antonio to handle the Empire City store, and he was very passionate about his work. Antonio loved serving pizza to the customers, and how happy they were to eat his food, and play the video games, and watch the mechanical shows."
"So Antonio and Flywheel were the passion behind Willy Wombat's, while Higbee was the greedy money jerk." Mikey rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Anyway, everything was going great... until the 1983 video game crash last year. After nearly three years of success, Willy Wombat's pizzeria started to under. Bogart Flywheel tried to keep the company afloat, but Higbee stabbed him in the back, taking off with all of the money. Flywheel was forced to sell the chain off, and the empire city store was closed. Antonio, who felt the restaurant was his life, gave into despair and... well, according to rumor, he turned the restaurant's big oven on, shoved in a pizza, then climbed into the oven himself, and was roasted with one of his beloved pizzas."
"Ewww, dude!" Mikey replied, sticking his tongue out. "That is so totally gross!"
"Well, it is just a rumor." Keno shrugged. "Anyway, for the past year, strange noises have been coming out of the restaurant... lights have been seen through the windows, and a hunched over form in a chef's hat has been seen stomping around inside. Some say it's the ghost of ol' Pizzaface- a nickname the kids gave Antonio- still tromping around with the aminatronic characters, looking for unsuspecting visitors to shove into his oven, and make into ingredients."
"So, like, we're going to a haunted pizzeria? That is so cool!" Michelangelo replied, getting excited at the prospect. "Why didn't you say so in the first place? Let's go!"
The two came up topside near the abandoned restaurant, and Mikey was spooked by what he saw; An empty building, with faded colors and tall weeds growing in the parking lot. A torn 'for sale' sign stood out front, and the darkened windows were the most uninviting thing the turtle could possibly imagine.
"Wow, it looks like nobody's been inside in a really long time." Keno commented, as the approached the entrance. "C'mon, help me get this door open!"
The two forced the door open, and they found their way into the restaurant. The whole place was dark, and they could see the outlines of several tables and arcade machines. Keno turned on the flashlight he was carrying, and headed back into the kitchen, and started fiddling around with the fuse box. Mikey waited out in the darkness for several minutes, before Keno finally managed to get the power on again.
"There we go!" Keno exclaimed. "I got the electricity up and running!"
Within seconds, the entire restaurant lit up, and the arcade machines roared to life. Buzzers, bells, and beeps of various machines filled the air, as if the pizza parlor had been a slumbering creature, that had come back to life. As Mikey looked around, it was like a gigantic play land had opened up all around him.
"Whoa, this is so awesome!" Michelangelo exclaimed. "I can't believe I'm actually in the Willy Wombat's pizzeria!"
He ran around from game to game, geeking out over every little amazing thing he saw. But the moment his eyes set upon the stage, and the animatronic characters that sat up there.
"Ow, wow... I don't believe it!" The excited turtle sputtered out. "It's Willy Wombat's magic make-believe band! I've seen these guys on TV!"
Michelangelo ran from character to character, explaining every anthropomorphic character's personality and character in great detail.
"This lion in royal getup is King Lionheart, he's the royal ruler of Willy's Wombat's Pizza Pan theater!" The turtle explained, as he pointed at a lion in blue medieval armor and a crown. "And this guy over here is Hot Spot, a dalmatian fire fighter. Isn't his firefighting helmet awesome? The girl beside him is Halfcourt, and she's a giraffe who loves to play basketball, and other spots." He quickly ran away from the giraffe in the basketball outfit, and dashed over to a moose in a Canadian Mountie's outfit. "And this is Monty Moose, hero of the Yukon and the Klondike! Ohhh, man, all of these guys are legends!"
"Mikey, chill out! They're just a bunch of mechanical characters, not real celebrities. There's no reason to get all excited about them." keno laughed. "Now come on, let's go and try out some of the games."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Mikey sighed, following Keno towards the game room. "Boy, I'm getting hungry, I really wish the kitchen still had ingredients to make us a pizza..."
But as the two intruders left the kitchen, a large shadow fell across the opposite wall. The Shadow resembled a short, squat man in a chef's hat. And as the shadow moved across the wall, anyone present would have heard the sound of a single footstep, accompanied by the clinking of a pizza cutter peg-leg...
"Whoa, this is sooo awesome!" Michelangelo exclaimed, playing away on one of the arcade games. "I love these new arcade games!"
Keno and the turtle had a field day in the arcade room; sometimes taking turns on machines, sometimes playing co-op. They enjoyed Kung-fu master, Tower of Duraga, Pac-land, and marble madness. Mikey got to experience the new arcade games of the year, all without spending a quarter.
"This is great, man! I never would've gotten to play these games on my home system!" Michelangelo exclaimed. "Thank you so much for bringing me here!"
"What, you don't get the chance to do stuff like this that often?" A puzzled Keno asked. "I mean, I know you can't get out of the sewer, and go play video games at an arcade, but can't you do stuff like this with your brothers at home?"
"Nahh, not really. I mean, don't get me wrong, they do love video games. But Leo always like to play the martial arts beat em' ups, and the medieval fantasy stuff, Raph loves his action shooters, racing games, and military games, and Donnie likes video chess and strategy-based stuff. I'm the only ones who likes em' all, and wants to play a little of everything." Mikey sighed. "It kinda sucks, man. The others guys have never wanted to do anything I like ta do; listen ta music, break dancing, and just having a good time, man! Raph's always so angry, Leo's always so serious, and Donnie likes bein' alone in his lab. It's like I can't connect with them, are vibes are so totally different, y'know man?"
"I get it, they're a bit too serious for you." Keno replied, as he opened up one of the machines, and hit the free play switch for them. "But you can't just be a party animal, Mikey. You gotta have serious side,too. I mean, isn't there anything you've wanted to do, besides party and eat pizza?"
"Wellll... I kinda sorta did want to explore my creative side; maybe take up painting, or writing a novel." Mikey mused to himself. "Fighting and saving the city from bad guys is okay and all... but it doesn't give you much opportunity to express yourself, ya know man?"
"Tell me about it. Delivering pizzas all over Chinatown doesn't leave me much time to practice may martial arts; and I want to pen my own martial arts schools someday, maker people more aware of the Philippine fighting styles." Keno thought for a moment. "But I seem to recall Master Splinter telling me of another one of your hobbies, don't you also love to cook?"
"Yeah, it's true; I love making pizzas for me and my 's the one thing we can all enjoy together." Mikey sighed. "One day, I'd love to make the perfect pie, with the right toppings we all can enjoy! But that seems pretty hard, dude; Leo's a meat lovers guy who hates veggies. Donnie loves veggies and isn't too fond of meat, and Raph loves both veggies and meat. So as you can see, it's not an easy task, trying to make everyone happy, dude."
"Wow, I never realized you were such a complex turtle, Michelangelo." Keno admitted. "Still, I wouldn't worry. Your three brothers seen to care about you a lot; I'm sure if you explain your feelings to them, they'll understand."
"Thanks man, I really appreciate it." Mikey smiled, giving keno a high five. "If only my bros listened to me, as well as you do."
The two continued to play video games for awhile, before the both started to get hungry. As Mikey stomach started to growl, he began to think about a nice, juicy pizza.
"Hey, man. I'm starting to get, like really hungry." The party dude told the pizza delivery guy. "Why don't' we head back to Vinnie's, and pick ourselves up a nice, hot pie."
"Yeah, you're right." Keno sighed, as he finished playing at one of the machines. "We'd better head back, there no way we're eating a pizza here."
"You.. no want-a the pizza here?" A gravely, half-dead voice called out. "But I bake-a da nice pizza just a for you. Why you no stay anna enjoy my nice-a pizza pie?"
The two gamers felt their blood blood run cold, and with a shiver running down their spines, they turned around to face the source of the voice. To their horror, they saw a a foul disgusting creature emerge from the kitchen. It was an undead pizza chef, covered in a mix of blood, pizza sauce, and green ooze. He was wearing a raggedy chef's had, stained and greasy apron, and a pair of blue torn work overalls, and a white tank top. Cockroaches and various other insects were crawling all over his body, and his leg had been replaced by a large pizza cutter, stuck in an old willy wombat's pizza box. The undead pizza chef was carrying a big meat cleaver covered in blood, and green ooze and various other disgusting liquids were leaking from his mouth.
"Ohhh, duuuuude..." Mikey's eyes went wide. "IT'S PIZZAFACE!"
"We no want you to go and get pizza somewhere else!" Pizzaface declared. "We want you-a to stay here with us... forever!"
"Who... who else is he taking about?" Keno asked nervously, already shaking in his boots. "Please tell me nobody else is here..."
"I say, you knaves are not leaving my pizza kingdom!" A voice called out from behind them. "We do not give you permission to depart!"
Now even more scared, the two intruders to the pizzeria turned around... only to find King Lionheart, Hot Spot, Halfcourt, and Monty Moose stood there, free from their mechanical stage, and slowly walking towards the turtle and pizza guy.
"DUDE, WE ARE SO GONNA DIE!" Mikey cried out, as creepy pizza characters and chef closed in from all sides...
The four furry critters and Pizzaface closed in on Mikey and keno, who both took a fighting stance.
"Dude, they got us surrounded!" The mutant turtle exclaimed. "We gotta fight these freaks!"
"Stay back, my loyal subjects!" King Leonheart declared, pulling out his scepter. "I shall tech this knave a lesson!"
The lion swung his scepter at Mikey, who pulled out his tabaks. Swinging the tabak-toyok, the turtle wrapped them around the king's scepter, and pulled the rod away from the angry lion. Lionheart then pulled out his sword, and swung it at Michelangelo, who blocked with the scepter he had taken from the king.
"Hah, you fight well, turtle! A worthy opponent!" Lionheart declared, as the two traded blows between scepter and sword. "Verily, turtles do fight with honor!"
"Thanks dude, you're a pretty good fighter yourself." Mikey returned the compliment, blocking the blows from Lionhearts's blade, Excalibur. "Just wish I didn't have ta kick yer butt!"
While Lionheart was dealing with Mikey, Monty Moose was attacking the surprised Keno iwth his Mountie's saber.
"Hey, you don't think you're gettin' away, eh?" The moose in the Mountie's outfit swung his weapon at the pizza delivery guy. "A Mountie always gets his man, don't ya know?"
"Well you're not gonna get me, Bullwinkle!" Keno dodged the saber, then kicked it out of his hand. "Why don't you go back to Klondike, eh?"
"Oh, you'll pay for that, kid!" Monty Moose growled. Lowering his head,the moose charged at the surprised Keno. Monty's antler's sent the pizza guy flying, knocking him back into the wall. "Not bad for a moose, eh?"
"Time to grab the moose by the antlers!" Keno declared, grabbing Monty's antlers, and throwing the Mountie over his head. "Mikey, be careful! These guys aren't aminatronics, they're flesh and blood!"
"What, they're real!?" Mikey replied in horror, as he struggled with the lion. "But I thought they were robots!"
"Halfcourt, your king requires your aid!" Lionheart commanded, as he and Mikey traded blows. "Teach this ridiculous reptile a lesson.
"On it, yer kingliness!" The basketball-playing giraffe declared, dribbling her basketball across the kitchen. "Ha, this is gonna be a slam dunk!"
The female mutant threw her basketball at the back of Mikey's head, knocking him off his feet, and causing the turtle to stumble backwards. The giraffe then extended her neck to headbutt Mikey into the wall.
"Face it turtle, you're out of the game!" The giraffe exclaimed, as Mikey fell unconscious. "Half court; one, kung-fu turtle, zero!"
"Looks like I'm gonna have to put this fire out!" Hot Spot exclaimed. Going over and unraveling the emergency fire hose in the kitchen, the dalmatian firefighter aimed it at Keno. "Sorry kid, you're about to become a washout!"
A steam of water shot out of the hose, sending Keno flying back against the kitchen sink. Throwing his fire axe at the wall above where Keno fell, Hot Spot cut a row of pans loose, causing all of the pots and pans to bury Keno.
"Huh, looks like I wasn't man's best friend, after all." Hot Spot quipped, sticking a bone in his mouth like a cigar. "Hope that water helped him to cool off."
"Good job, you guys. Now get em'-a good an' tied up!" Pizzaface exclaimed, pulling his ingredients out of the cupboard. "Now, we a gonna make-a de greatest pizza ever! Magnifico!"
The deranged pizza maker turned on his oven, and began to prepare his ingredients. Both Michelangelo and Keno sat unconscious nearby, blissfully unaware of the horrifying fate the sinister chef had in store for the unsuspecting man and mutant...
It was almost an hour later, when Michelangelo finally started to come to. he did not know where he was at first, until he heard
"Oh boy, I'm-a gonna cook up a spicy pizza!" Pizzaface laughed, as a cockroach crawled out of his mouth. "And I never had turtle as an ingredient before! This is gonna be yummy!"
"Oh, maaaan! This can't be happening!" The frightened turtle declared. "I don't wanna end up as a pizza topping!"
"Ohhhh, Mikey... where are we, what's happening?" Keno asked, as he started coming to. "...I had this crazy dream, where we were attacked by a bunch of Willy Wombat characters..."
"Sorry dude, but you weren't dreaming." Mikey replied with a sigh. "We really are about to be turned into mulched mozzarella and sausage."
"Awww, man!" Keno grumbled, noticing the crazy pizza chef. "First I don't get any tips on my deliveries, then I'm about to be turned into sliced pepperoni! This has just not been my week!"
Ohhh, I know what I'm-a gonna do!" Pizzaface gloated, picking up a rat that had been scurrying across the table, chopping it into pieces with his meat cleaver, and sprinkling it on the pizza dough he was about to put in the oven. "I'm-a gonna cook up the turtle, then I'm-a gonna serve him to the boy. Ohhh, this gonna be a tasty treat!"
"Ewww, Gross! I don't want to eat my buddy, Mikey!" Keno stuck his tongue out. "Besides he lives in a sewer! He probably tastes terrible!"
"Thanks man... I think." Mikey replied uncertainly. "But we can't let things end this way! I wanna continue to eat pizzas, I don't wanna end up as one!"
Mikey continued to think, looking all around the room, there just had to be a way out of this! But it was when he laid eyes on the four Willy Wombat characters in the corner, that an idea finally struck in his head. Looking over towards four of them, the radical reptile spoke.
"Hey you guys, listen up!" Mikey called. "Hey, I want to talk to you."
"What is it you desire, knave?" King Lionheart asked. "A meal is not supposed to talk back to those who are going to eat it!"
"Oh, so you're gonna eat us, huh? Well, that not how a Willy Wombat critter is supposed to act!" The turtle explained. "A Willy Wombat character is supposed to make a guest feel welcome, not put them on the menu as a pizza topping!"
"Mikey, what are you doing?" Keno whispered to his friend, terrified.
"Trust me, man, I know what I'm doing." Mikey replied. "I think."
"What do you mean, eh?" Monty Moose asked, confused. "What is it we're doing wrong?"
"What you're doing wrong, is helping a disgruntled employee turned super villain, chop up and murder several guests." Michelangelo replied. "Now, how welcoming is that? How happy d you think Keno and I are, as guests?"
"Gee, we never thought about it that way." Halfcourt replied, as if she were waking up from a haze. "We were just so mad the customers left us, that when you and your young friend showed up, we just decided to lash out, and help Pizzaface attack you."
"Well, now is your chance to make up for your mistakes." Keno replied, finally catching on. "Help us to get free, and be the heroes you were supposed to be."
"Forget it, kids. If we don't stay loyal to ol' Pizzaface, he'll slice us into calzonis." Hot Spot added. "But we're not exactly happy with what we gotta do."
But as Halfcourt continued to stare at Keno and Mikey, her eyes began to narrow. Finally, the determined giraffe snuck over, and began to untie the turtle and his friend.
"Halfcourt, what are you doing, eh?" Monty Moose asked, starting to pull his saber out. "You can't possibly mean to let em go!"
"Sorry, Monty. But I can't go along with this." The basketball player replied, handing the turtles back his tabaks. "It's time this giraffe, starts doing the right thing!"
"Hey, how you get free?" Pizzaface asked in shock. "Hey, you guys, stop-a them!"
"Cowabunga!" Mikey called out,swinging his tabaks abound like crazy, and plowing into Monty and Lionheart. This time, the turtle was ready for the two Willy Wombat characters. Lionheart barely got his scepter up, before he was sent flying by one of the spinning tabaks. Monty tried to charge again, but Mikey wrapped the tabaks around the Mountie's antlers, and throwing him over his head.
"Oh no, not again!" Monty cried out, as he was sent crashing into Lionheart, knocking both of them out of the fight. "You think these antlers would be more useful in a fight, eh?"
"Why, you traitor!" Hot Spot snarled, swinging his fire axe at the giraffe. "How dare you betray us?!"
"I didn't betray you and the others, Hot Spot." Halfcourt replied, dodging the axe. She threw her basketball at the dalmatian's head, knocking him backwards. "We all betrayed everything we stood for!"
The dog tried to bite at Halfcourt's neck, but she managed to headbutt Hot Spot, knocking both of them to the ground. While the two continued to struggle, Mikey and Keno turn to face Pizzaface.
"Why, you stinking little turtle!" The angry chef raised his butcher knife in the air. "I'm a-gonna fix you and you human buddy, real good!"
Pizzaface swung his meat cleaver downward, smashing a table in half as Mikey and Keno jumped out of the way. Keno jumped at the crazed chef, bouncing off his rolls of fat, and only making him stumble forward a few steps. Mikey slammed his tabaks into Pizzaface's massive arm, causing the chef to cry out in pain.
"Agrahhhh!" The pizza chef roared. "I'm-a gonna fix you, good!"
Pizzaface punched Keno in the face, knocking him backwards to the ground. The chef then reached out and grabbed Mikey's head, slamming Mikey into the ground with his palm. Keno smashed him over the head with a kitchen chair, and Pizzaface nearly lost his balance. Spinning around, he sliced at the air with his pizza cutter leg. The pizza delivery guy dodged backward, leaving the blade to cut thin air.
"You two no stop-a me!" Pizzaface roared. "I make you ALL into pizza now!"
Pzzaface swung his meat cleaver at Mikey, who dropped his head into his shell to dodge it. Pizzaface then jumped straight at Mikey, kocking him backwards towards the heated pizza oven.
"Time to make-a da pizza!" Pizzaface roared, jumping on top of Mikey, and starting to strangle him. "Goodbye, stupid turtle!"
Mikey and the pizza chef struggled, Pizzaface trying to push him into the oven, while the turtle desperately tired to reach for his tabak. Finally getting one arm free, he smashed Pizzaface in the head with the weapon, then kicked the undead chef off of him with a kick... and sending Pizzaface tumbling into the fiery oven.
"AIEEEEEEEEE!" The crazed chef cried out, his last words being. "MAMA MIA!"
Mikey and Keno soon had gotten themselves straightened out, and were ready to leave the restaurant. King Lionhart and the others saw them off at the door, wanting to apologize for their behavior.
"Forsooth, we had no choice but to obey Pizzaface." The King explained. "Chef Antonio had discovered a strange canister of green glowing ooze, that had arrived in a shipment of restaurant equipment from China. He thought it was a pizza ingredient."
"He cooked some of it into a pizza, and it turned him into the freaky-strong monster you found him as." Monty Moose continued. "After the announcement of the restaurant's closing, Pizzaface decided he couldn't just let go, eh?"
"We used to be costumed characters in the restaurant, playing the parts and walking around with the customers in between aminatronic shows." Halfcourt explained. "But on closing day, Pizzaface tricked us into eating pizzas laced with the ooze, and we turned into real versions of our costumed characters."
"The ooze affected our minds somehow, and we now had no choice but to serve him. But with Pizzaface gone, we are now free." Hot spot finished. "Now,I suppose we will have to go out into the world, and find a new place for ourselves as mutant freaks."
"Wait, dudes, you don't need to go it alone!" Mikey protested, as he and Keno turned away for a moment. "My bros and I, we're mutants, too! Maybe we can-" But when he and Keno looked back, the other four were gone. "Aw man, I was hoping we could be buds!"
"C'mon Mikey, your brothers are probably waiting for us." Keno told his friend. "Let's get back to the lair, and we'll stop at Antonio's, and get some pizza along the way."
"Pizza?! Uhhh, nah man, I don't think so." Mikey stuck his tongue out. "I've had enough pizza for one day, what about some salad, instead?"
The two laughed as they walked away from Willy Wombat's pizzeria, this time truly leaving it abandoned. A few weeks later, the entire building would be demolished, and all the memories there, both good and bad, would become nothing more than memories.