Shattered

Disclaimer: Me no own, okay? Okay...

Author's notes: This chapter took me a lot longer than expected. I had some content ready to go but I wasn't sure where to fit it and I ended up delaying some of it for later chapters. Also I've been pretty busy the last few weeks and I couldn't really get into the right state of mind to write seriously. I kept writing stuff and ended up dissapointed with it. It was pretty hard to get anything out I felt was sufficient somehow.

Last weekend I had three days off but had inadvertenly planned it full with personal matters, hanging out with friends and such things. I had half-consciously determined that I would work on this fic during the days off and ended up worried that I might not make it with all the other 'obligations', though in the end I came through and wrote and rewrote a whole lot in a single day.

I ended up spending a little more time the last week, working on the chapter after work to fill in the gaps and apply some finishing touches, but I felt greatly encouraged by the fact that I had gotten so much work done despite the busy schedule the days before. I'm really happy with the end result, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Anyway, onward!

"Onemississipi"

– denotes speech

Twomississipi

– denotes thoughts

"Threemississipi"

– denotes projected speech, may be through a radio but also an alternate voice in a character's mind. Should be clear from context.

Part V: Ease my mind

Darkness. Cold. An all encompassing void. A harsh surface beneath her bare feet, cold creeping up through their soles. Her muscles tensed as the sensation filled her entirety.

Hushed voices behind her caught her attention. Whispers. Everyone. A never ending stream of whispers cutting through the dark. She turned around. Doctor Akagi, Misato Katsuragi, Rouji Kaji, Kozo Fuyutsuki, Maya Ibuki, Makoto Hyuga, Shigeru Aoba, Asuka Langley Sohryu, Toji Suzuhara, Hikari Horaki, Kensuke Aida. Their ghostly images passed through her, sending shivers down her spine and chilling her skin.

They all stood before her. Backs to her, their faces just outside of view. She tried stepping forward to see them and they vanished. She couldn't move. Only he was still there. Shinji Ikari. Just out of reach. She wrestled to step forward but made no ground. Her voice caught in her throat, no breath to issue forth past her vocal chords.

The teenager vanished, in his stead Gendo Ikari.

"Rei. Take me to Yui."

She did not wish to. Hands laid on her forcefully, pushing, thrusting her forward. Compliant legs moving against her will. A heart filled with sorrow. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Not for him. Not anymore.

"No..." She whispered, her body going rigid. She did not want his hands guiding her. Someone else should be there instead. Shinji Ikari; outreached arms, hands beckoning, asking to come. Welcoming, not forcing. Kind. Warm.

Her body caught in an unseen grip. She pushed with all her strength against it. Teeth gritting, legs trying to gain traction against the stone cold barrier holding her back. Tears. Tears falling. Powerless to move, but she tried. Giving everything. Screaming without sound or air still. She tried nonetheless but produced not even a whimper.

Pushing, moving ever so slightly. Cracks forming in the invisible barrier holding her back. Her voice catching wind, gut clenching, tears streaming freely into the void, melting away the cold. A whimper attempting to become a wail. Still no sound following.

No movement still, the barrier unrelenting. Screaming with all she had, forcing from her entire being, trying to make a sound. She could feel it running through her veins. Her heart pumping acid through her body as it pushed against the cold holding her back. Her heartwrenching howl filling the void even without volume. The white titan ahead of her. The Commander's hands struggling against her. She was moving now but not by her own power. She was fighting a losing battle as she neared it. The world around her shaking, breaking against her struggle, but it was too late.

"Rei!?" A voice cut throught the darkness, her own finally catching fire in her throat as she was swallowed whole into the pure white humanoid's chest. Brightness filled up her world and she screamed. Her eyes sprang wide open as her body lunged forward with regained control, pushing the young boy hovering over her backwards without realizing.

Her wide eyes stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling. She breathed quick and shallow breaths, and a pounding heart occupied her chest. Rei dropped her head back on the pillow below it and looked around the room to get her bearings. The early morning sun was streaming through the windows, drenching the room in a warm glow. Her heart was recovering into a more steady rhythm and she breathed a sigh of relief. She looked at the source of the voice she heard to find Shinji looking at her, his raised head looking back at her over his chest as he lay on his back, sprawled over the futon.

"Rei?" The startled blue-eyed boy inquired again, a little more quietly this time. His heart raced from the fright and sudden push the girl had given him. She allowed herself to breathe fully after a few seconds. "Rei, are you alright?" He said unsure, still looking at her with wide eyes. She let her eyes fall shut and nodded thankfully. Finally she dared respond. "I am well..." She whispered weakly. "It was... just a dream."

Just a dream. Shinji thought as he got up on his knees and looked the girl over with a sense of disbelief. It was like the entire room just shook for a moment. He had awakened from the sound of a low subdued rumbling, the items on his desk vibrating over the surface. He found the girl stiff as a board beside him, an arched back and hands clenching at the sheets. She shook as her nails dug into the fabric and he had grabbed her by the shoulders to wake her.

He looked over the room for a moment and rubbed his eyes in disbelief, no evidence that anything strange had occurred. Was... was that... His eyes fell back on her face as she looked at him with relief painted over her face. ...her? Relief was replaced entirely by puzzlement and concern as she propped herself up on her elbows now. "Shinji?" She said as the boy sat up beside her, eyes still on hers. He shook his head absentmindedly at the girl, only half grasping being adressed, lost in thought at the same time. What just happened?

"What is wrong?" She asked and reached out to touch his arm reassuringly, making him retreat slightly instead. Her brows twitched slightly at this, the corners of her mouth dropping visibly. "I don't know..." He muttered. She felt lost as she sat up further, eyes falling on her lap.

Am I seeing things? Shinji thought to himself as he tried to regain his composure, not entirely convinced by that possibility. He tried to rid himself of the jitters he was feeling as her eyes darted back to his. Before either could say anything else the door to the room slid open, the head of a still sleepy Misato poked through. "Are you alright? I heard a scream just now." She said as she poked at her still puffy eyes with her pinky.

"Wait... you two slept in the same room?" She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but an opportunity to tease had presented itself and she would not let it pass. "When I said show some leg yesterday I didn't mean sleep with him." Neither of the teens responded, the comment seemingly going straight over their heads. Her devilish grin dropped as another thought occured to her. Wait... did Shinji do something inappropriate or something? She took another look at Shinji and discarded the thought immediatly, the boy in question looking more scared of the girl at the moment than the other way around.

She slid the door open fully as she noticed the confused and lost look of the girl. "Are you two doing okay?" Shinji took it as his que to get up quickly and brushed passed her through the door. "I'll... just take a shower and get started on breakfast." A confused Misato looked after the boy then back to Rei. She stepped inside as the bathroom door clicked shut behind her.

She gave the girl a concerned look as she slid the door closed behind her. "Are you alright, Rei? What happened between you two?" The girl in question regarded her with confusion as she sought for words. "I am... unsure." She admitted, then rose from the futon to stand, her gaze focused on her feet. "I have... offended him somehow."

"What did you say to him?" Misato said as she looked over her shoulder for a moment, then back at the girl. Rei took a moment to think about what had occured, and could find nothing she said to have made the boy respond as he did. "...Nothing." She said after a moment. The only thing that she could remember was what she had experienced in her sleep. "I... had a dream."

Misato looked at Rei pensively, the girl under her gaze shifted uncomfortably as she looked around her feet, eyes darting left and right as if seeking for an answer to the situation on the floor. Misato bit her lip and responded with an unsure, "Okay..."

"I..." The girl started as she remembered the end of her dream. She had felt stuck, she had pushed with all her might against an unmoving barrier, her world shaking and tearing around her efforts. As she woke that effort had finally come to fruition. I pushed him. She realized finally and looked up at Misato. "I may have hurt him..."

Misato's expression was begging her to explain further. "I dreamt that I could not move and I... pushed him off me when I woke." She said as she looked at her feet again. They locked gazes again as a realization dawned on Rei. "He... must have attempted to wake me."

"I have that sometimes. I think it's a reasonably common nightmare, Rei." She said in an attempt to reasure the girl, not really succeeding. Even with Rei's very limited experience with dreams, common was not a word that described it properly in her mind. Misato smiled warmly at the girl nonetheless and closed the distance between them. "You probably just startled him. I'm sure he'll be okay after breakfast. Cooking seems to calm his nerves, anyway." She patted the girl on the head and gave her hair a rustle, making the girl shrink slightly under her efforts. "Take a shower after Shinji and you'll feel better as well. I'll see if I can get you some fresh clothes."

Shinji stood under the shower's warm stream of water as his mind tried to come to terms with what happened just minutes earlier. The water was somewhat soothing but he hardly noticed, forgetting to wash himself for the moment. What was that just now?

The water impacted with his head and tickled his scalp. He turned his head upwards to let the water stream over his face, finally realizing he was in the shower again, yet remaining still in thought. It didn't look like she noticed at all... He wondered, becoming more and more unsure of himself. Neither did Misato...

He lifted his hands up and brushed them across his face, rubbing his eyes, then wiping his hair back along with the water. Am I just seeing things? He opened his eyes and breathed deeply as he stuck his head out of the stream and let it run across the tensed muscles of his back.

He finally managed to relax a little under the warm water. Becoming more aware of his situation he absentmindedly grasped the shampoo and squeezed some in his hands, then started to massage it into his hair. Worry for the girl was replacing the aftermath of the unusual experience now. What is she dreaming about? She said she dreamt in the hospital as well. She's... she's still hurting. He thought dejectedly.

He opened his eyes without thinking and found the soap stinging his eyes. "Ow..." He muttered as he tried to wipe the suds from his eyes. "Damnit..." He cupped his hands to catch some of the water and splashed his face a couple of times, making sure not to let more of the shampoo run into his eyes.

He resolved to finish the task at hand, and to alleviate his doubts soon. I'll ask her again tonight. I don't want her to hurt anymore... not after everything. He washed the last of the shampoo from his hair and took a generous helping of shower gel from the bottle within his reach. Without further thought he finished washing up and turned the knobs to disengage the shower.

He took a towel to begin drying himself off, going slowly over the motions, again getting lost in thought. The image of the girl clenching at the sheets, arched back and all, flashed through his mind. It hurt seeing her like that. What could it have been. What is she going through? A cold fright seeped into his heart as he stopped in the middle of drying his hair. What did the Angel do to her?

Or... The broken glasses in her apartment, mangled and bloodied. The cuts on her hands. ...was it father? Anger filled him up for a moment and he had to close his eyes and breathe consciously to rid himself of it.

He put some fresh clothes on and slid the door open to find the girl standing outside. A neat stack of fresh clothes sat in her arms which she clenched closer to her chest as he regarded her. Her widened eyes and lifted eyebrows spoke an unasked question. His heart tightened with regret at the realization that he had retreated from the girl's touch earlier. He couldn't find words to express himself so he answered her expression with a small reassuring smile. She relaxed under his gaze, the corners of her mouth tugging up just enough for him to notice.

Both teens looked down and spoke at the same time, "I'm sorr-..." They locked gazes again in surprise, both feeling responsible somehow for what had happened and trying to voice their regret. "It's alri-..." Again they spoke in unison, producing a small blush on the two. Shinji laughed shortly at the strange exchange, and the corners of Rei's lips tugged further up. The teens tried to make way for the eachother, ending up in blocking they way for both. Shinji scratched his head in embarressment and Rei looked at her feet. The boy stepped back after a second to allow her in, then left the bathroom to its' new occupant.

That was silly. He thought as he leaned against the outer wall of the bathroom for a moment, having nearly forgotten the morning's strange beginning already. I'm just... glad she's here and that she's okay. He stepped out of the hallway and into the living room to find Misato walking over to the fridge, undoubtedly to gather her morning beer. I don't think I thanked Misato enough for this. "Misato?" He inquired timidly as he stepped closer to her. She pulled an alcoholic beverage from the fridge and pushed the door closed as she looked over her shoulder. "What is it Shin-chan?" She said sweetly, cold Yebisu in hand.

Unsure of what to say he closed the distance between them, the older woman turning to face him. The boy surprised her by embracing her, leaving her standing with raised arms and an astonished look on her face. "Thank you, Misato... for letting her stay here." He spoke, muffling his voice with his head burried into her waist. Slowly she set the beer down on the kitchen counter and let her arms fall to return the embrace to Shinji, patting his still damp hair with one hand.

"So... you two are okay then?" She inquired after a moment. "Yeah... she just... startled me a bit." He said, voice still muffled. "Alright... be careful with her Shinji." She said as she rubbed the boy's back. Perhaps... I'm not such a bad surrogate mom after all. She mused, reveling in the endearing experience.

Shinji retrieved the dishes from the table after a relatively pleasant breakfast. Misato hadn't made them feel too awkward for a change, and now the two females prepared for their trip to the commercial district.

"See ya!" Misato called as she made their way towards the door with Rei in tow. Shinji turned around with a broad smile on his face. "Ok... have fun. See you two in a bit." Shinji replied, smile turning into a pensive look at the pair in the hallway as a thought occured to him. I hope Misato won't push her too hard... or... tell her to do something embarrassing. Suddenly the idea of leaving the quiet girl alone with Misato was becoming a little less appealing.

Misato turned with her hand already on the doorhandle as she remembered the redhead. "Oh hey, Shinji? Did you see Asuka by any chance? I haven't seen her for a while. I called her yesterday, but got no answer. I wonder where she is..."

He turned from the sink where he was depositing some empty cups and responded. "Uh... I don't know, Hikari's maybe?" He said as he remembered what Asuka had told him two days before. "She said she went there thursday and I only saw her shortly yesterday morning." He wasn't ready to tell her he got into a fight with her just yet.

"Is that so? Well... I'll give her another call and see where she's at. Let's go Rei." With that the two walked out the door. As they made their way down the stairs, she picked her phone and dialed Asuka's mobile number. She let it ring until they reached the car parked neatly in the lot down below but got no answer. She stopped for a moment to regard the thing in her hand with a pensive look. Hmm... that's odd. She's still not answering. She didn't answer yesterday either... I hope she's alright.

Rei felt a little daunted by the idea of spending so much time alone with the Major. The woman had a tendency to talk alot, and that was something she was quite unused to. Besides that, the Major had a knack for saying unexpected things. Nevertheless, Shinji trusted the woman and she felt that she should as well. She had shown care to her the other day, and she had agreed to let her stay in her apartment.

"So... are you two an item now or something?" Misato said as if trying to prove the girl's internal assumptions about her to be right. She looked at the girl with a sly grin, reveling in the uncomfortable and confused look she received from the usually stoic girl. What am I thinking... would that even be right?

"An... item?" Rei responded hesitantly, knowing the term to be used by her classmates, but unsure if she and Shinji qualified as such.

"It's just a joke, Rei... you can lighten up a bit." Misato reassured as she smiled at the girl.

"Yes Major."

Misato sighed internally. Always so formal... we'll have to change that. "You don't have to call me that, Rei. We're not on duty right now. Besides, it makes me feel old, haha... Just call me Misato, OK? Katsuragi even, if that makes you feel more comfortable." She said as she returned her attention to the road. "Besides, you'll be living with us now." The girl responded with the same hesitant tone. "Yes, ma'a-... K-katsuragi-san."

Misato hummed. Katsuragi-san... well it'll have to do for now. Maybe I should tone it down a little. Misato thought as the two sat in silence for a while. Here I am being sunshine and rainbows while I haven't really paid her much attention. She let the thought roll around her mind for a while as she stole a glance at the girl beside her. Finally she decided to speak her mind. "Rei, I know... maybe I haven't been too available for you in the past... I..."

Rei looked back at her with a surprised look and used Misato's pause to interrupt. "I... It is alright, Maj-... Katsuragi-san..." She still tripped over how to adress the woman, but Misato in turn ignored her slip-up as she responded, eyes still on the road. "No... no I don't think it is Rei..."

The girl didn't respond but kept her eyes on the woman for a moment. Misato sighed as she looked at the girl again as they pulled up at a red light. "I'm... I'm supposed to be responsible for you guys, and I... I kinda neglected you to be honest." She sighed as she thought of how to explain. "I just... you just always seemed pretty strong and together..." She smiled lightly at the girl. "You're pretty hard to read you know..."

The girl in question turned her eyes to the dashboard in front of her, and otherwise did not respond making Misato bite her lip. "Anyway... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can tell me what's on your mind... whether you're worried or... or feeling bad."

"I understand..."

Misato's eyes fell on the girl's bandaged hands again and ventured a question. "What happened to you Rei? What happened during the Angel attack...?" The girl's eyes dropped to her own hands as well, her response seemed to catch in her throat.

"What happened during the synchronisation test?" She pushed again carefully, trying not to sound too forceful. Still, no response. Perhaps I'm pushing too much too soon. Misato thought as the traffic light turned to green. "Rei... I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to be an interrogation." She put the car into gear and returned her eyes to the road.

They drove on in silence until they reached the commercial district of Tokyo III. Misato parked the car and took the key from the ignition when she was stopped by Rei's quiet voice. "Katsuragi-san?"

"Yes, Rei?"

She seemed to be looking for words. Her brow furrowed as she tried to push herself to ask the question on her mind. "Why... do you care?"

What a question... but she's trying to open up. She thought about it for a moment as she looked at the girl, met by Rei's expectant expression. "Honestly... I don't know Rei." She fell silent for a moment, then continued. "Just know that I do care... I don't want you to hurt, inside our outside..."

She paused for a moment, trying to find a more appropriate answer for the girl. "You know... you remind me a little bit of myself some time back. I... I was mute for a long while, and when I finally started talking it took me a while to get more than two words out..."

The slight widening of Rei's eyes melted her heart. "Maybe... maybe that's why I care Rei..." Misato was rewarded with a softness of the eyes and slightly reassured look from the solemn girl. She beamed another warm smile at the girl as if to drive her message home further. She's more fragile than I thought... She squeezed her shoulder lightly and retrieved her hand. She needs some distraction from all this.

She pulled the lever on the door and unlocked it, putting one foot outside on the pavement before giving the girl another glance. "Let's go shopping, huh?"

Asuka walked back through the warming morning sun. Her muscles ached from the compromised position she had slept in at the abandoned theatre. She had woken up early, and after some deliberation had decided to return home. Might as well get this over with. She thought as she clasped her arms around her chest, rubbing her hands on her arms to get warm. The sun was pleasant but the cool night air had yet to be dissipated entirely. She shivered as she rounded a corner and the tall building she had come to know as her home came into view.

She walked onto the parking lot outside the apartment building and stopped in her tracks as her phone buzzed in her pocket. Lifting the device to her eyes revealed Misato to be the caller. She was determining whether to answer the phone since she was so close to home when two figures moved into her periferal vision. Her focus shifted from the phone to the pair as she realized who they were. Her hand dropped to her side, eyes wide in astonishment.

"What the...!?" She exclaimed more loudly than she had intended, the phone still buzzing in her hand. Quickly she ducked behind a parked car and peaked over the hood to look at the duo as they crossed the parking area, then back at the device in her hand. Misato was right there, phone in hand, calling her as she regarded her from a distance. Beside her, the unmistakable mop of blue hair belonging to Rei Ayanami. And she was wearing her dress! She had to press her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from yelling outright again. What the fuck!?

Anger and resentment were starting to boil within her insides but she kept quiet. They hadn't noticed her. They entered Misato's car and drove off. After waiting for the Renault Alpine to dissapear into the distance entirely she stood back up. What the hell was she doing here, and why the hell is she wearing my clothes! The anger was starting to reach critical mass. She pulled into a sprint, resuming her way towards her home. I'm gone for a day... and I'm already replaced? She smashed the elevator button with her fist, her phone still clenched tightly between her fingers. She crossed her arms over her chest as she fumed, her jaw clenching with fury.

After a moment the elevator dinged and the doors opened. She grit her teeth and pressed the button for her floor and huffed as the doors finally closed and the ascent started. "Those... those assholes." She squealed as her gut and heart clenched up with indignation. She growled through ground teeth as her chagrin started to spin out of control. She slammed her fist into the side of the elevator wall, denting the thin metal plating that covered the insides.

Finally the doors opened and she stomped to the front door. "Replaced as a pilot... and now for that doll!?" She opened the door and stormed inside to find Shinji standing in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes. As loudly as she could she screamed at the boy's back. "What the fuck is going on here?!" The boy jumped up in surprise, nearly dropping the plate he was holding in his hands, and faced the angry redhead.

"Asuka! You're back!" The boy exclaimed in surprise. "You scared the hell out of me." He regained his composure and smiled at her sheepishly. "We we're worried abo-" He stopped as he noticed the fierce look the girl gave him. She remembered the device still clenched in her hand and in her rage hurled the thing at Shinji's head. The blue-eyed boy only barely managed to dodge the object. It smashed into a dozen pieces on the cupboard behind him.

That scumbag has the nerve to smile at me after everything! Asuka scolded internally as she closed the distance between them in an instant. "Don't give me that! Why the hell was wondergirl here?" The boy's eyes grew wide as saucers at the girl's aggressive approach. His hands tightened around the plate and damp towel he still held in his hands, bringing them up over his chest in an effort to defend himself.

Asuka slapped the plate out of his hands sending it tumbling to the floor, shattering on impact against it. The boy's eyes squeezed shut and he averted his head at the sudden barrage that followed, blocking her hands with his arms, one hand still grasping at the towel. She pulled at it to remove his hands from her field of fire and slapped him with the other. "A-Asuka, don't!" He yelled as he evaded another swing, his cheek already glowing red from the first.

"Shut up! I'm gone for a day, and I'm replaced just like that?!" She yelled as she took him by the forearms. "Huh?! Replaced? I-it's not like that! Asu-..." She interrupted the boy with a shove, making him backpeddle into the kitchen counter, his head hitting the handle of the cupboard above it in the same spot it had bounced off the glass balcony door at Rei's apartment the day before. He doubled over in pain as he dropped to his knees. His hand shot towards the back of his head giving Asuka a clear shot at his side. She kicked him hard and knocked the wind out of him.

"I hope you two have fun with your new roommate! I'm sure she'll be much easier to handle than I am. Just set the doll up in her corner and she'll be all settled!" She yelled as her anger peaked. The boy was unable to respond as he tried to catch his breath. The girl spun on her heels and ran off out the door, down the steps and back into the streets. The anger she felt now vented left only the loneliness to fester. She couldn't stop herself. A sob, then a tear, and more to follow. They all left me. Discarded me... Just like that...

She ran until her veins pumped acid and her muscles burned. Tears slipped endlessly from the corners of her eyes. She couldn't run anymore, her energy spent. She found a small bench and collapsed into it, sobbing uncontrollably. Replaced... by him. She thought of the grey-haired boy, then the red-eyed girl. And now her... She curled up into a ball on the bench and cried until there were no more tears to spend. Am I that worthless to them? She wailed loudly as the hurt she felt saturated every inch of her skin.

An all too familiar voice broke her from her thoughts. "Are you alright, miss Sohryu?" Not him... anyone but him. Asuka thought despondedly as she recognized the boy's voice. She peeked over her arm with one teary eye to reveal Kaworu. She was overcome with hate as she leapt from the bench and to the boy in a single fluid move. She grabbed him by the collar and nearly knocked him off his feet. "You!" She screetched angrily.

Her energy sagged suddenly, having all her reserves spent in her sprint. She breathed heavily and was starting to hyperventilate, the lack of proper food, sleep and energy over the past few days catching up with her. "...you..." She muttered weakly as her face went pale and her strength left her completely. Her eyes rolled back and she sagged into unconsciousness.

The girl slumped and Nagisa barely manage to grab her before she collapsed. "Oh my..." He spoke softly, recovering from his surprise, the girl limp in his arms. He smiled warmly at the girl as he picked her up in his arms. "You haven't been taking very good care of yourself, have you?" He shook the girl gently to evoke a response but got none.

He was unsure of what to do with the unresponsive creature in his arms. She had just come running from the direction of her home. He wondered if he should return there with her but quickly decided against it. Strangely enough fate had brought the girl onto his path once again and an opportunity presented itself to get an inside look of another of earth's creatures minds. He smiled at the realization like only he could. The unconscious girl's head lolled around limply as he shifted her in his arms to a more comfortable position. "Well... I better take you home to get you back to strenght."

They had been going around the shopping mall for a while now. Even simple items had been a bit of a chore. Sure, a toothbrush was easy enough, but the girl didn't seem to care much for any more luxurious items. Fancy shampoos, conditioners, some nice perfume... even a hairbrush seemed to be entirely lost on the girl.

In the end Misato had just made the choice for Rei, but wondered if she would use them at all. Going for simple but classic seemed to be the way to go, the girl had at least responded somewhat favourably to the scent of lavender. "Agreeable was the word she used..." Misato mumbled to herself as she dropped a rather expensive natural sponge into the basket along with the other items. "I'm sure she'll find this agreeable..." She laughed to herself.

She had sent the girl over to the clothing section to find something that she liked. As she walked up to her from a distance she could tell Rei was a little lost in all the options. She slowed her pace to see where her gaze lingered, whether there was anything that seemed to at least interest the girl on a basic level.

She halted for a moment a few clothing racks away from the girl when Rei turned and made her way over to a specific item and ran her hands across the fabric. Hmm... conservative, but not bad. It was a plain white lace dress that reached just below the knees. It had a tighter fit around the ribs with a simple seam just below the breasts, a thin white ribbon that moved up the middle from the seam tied together in a simple bow just below the collarbone, with two parallel frayed accents at either side on the front. Along with it went a salmon coloured piece that was supposed to be worn underneath it, just visible around the chest. Not bad at all... Misato thought as she closed the distance to Rei.

"You like this dress, huh?" She said, making the girl jump slightly as she turned her head to look at the intruder, keeping her hand on the fabric as she explored the texture between her fingers. She nodded. "It is... soft, and..." Misato laughed a little as the girl paused for a moment. "Agreeable?" The blue-haired girl blinked. "Pretty..." Rei said instead, surprising Misato and making her smile. "Try it on..."

Shinji didn't know exactly how long he had been laying where he was, but he did know that it hadn't been long enough for the throbbing pain in his head or his side to subside. He tried to get up carefully from his sitting position against the kitchen cabinets and stopped immediatly when a sharp pain flared up. He needed to find a more comfortable space to sit this out. He groaned miserably, and moved despite the pain, grabbing the kitchen counter to pull himself up with the arm on his unhurt side.

He staggered to the freezer and took out two packs of ice. He let the door fall shut behind him as he staggered his way over to the sofa a few meters away. He whinced as he sat down on it, using the armrest to keep one icepack in place on his side, holding the other over his head with his good hand.

"My god she kicks hard..." He groaned in misery. Breathing too deeply hurt him, let alone speaking. He sighed painfully as he leaned back gently into the seat, careful not to let the pack of ice on his side slide from its' position.

Replaced... she said she was replaced. Is that what she thinks this is? He thought as he bit through the pain. She must be hurting inside as well. He groaned again, now more from feeling sorry for the girl than his own circumstances, even if they were caused by the fiery redhead.

She wouldn't even let me speak. He thought as he remembered his unfortunate encounter. If only... if only she'd just listen. But she never lets anyone get close to her... He sighed, the cold from the ice was starting to soothe the pain somewhat now. "Whatever I do..." He muttered to himself. "She always pushes me away."

He winced in pain as he looked over to the direction of his room, wondering whether to grab his phone to call Misato about what happened. After a moment of deliberation he tried to get up, but even the slightest movement increased the pain in his head and stung his side. He fell back into the seat as he exhaled painfully. He decided to stay put for now and closed his eyes as he tried to get through the worst of this without further agonizing his bruised head and side. I'll tell her when she gets home.

More then a couple of hours had passed now as they went about the shops contained within the large mall. Misato had unlocked something in the girl as she went around the clothing racks and found more and more dresses to try on. Her taste hadn't strayed much from Misato's initial classification of conservative, but she did have an eye for what fit her physique. The preferred colour palette seemed to be limited to mostly white and blue. She had suggested a number of items to the girl with a different range of colours, but that hadn't been much of a succes. Red was apparently a definate no-go, despite how well it went with the girl's eyes.

Denim trousers were quickly dismissed along with anything not unmistakenly feminine. Finally she had taken a chance with a salmon coloured dress which, against her expectations, passed Rei's inspections and was tried on. It ended up in the 'to-buy' pile along with a teal blue one that she had tried on before it. Now she was waiting for Rei to come back with the latest selection she had offered. After receiving a pensive look, she had taken them and dissapeared back behind the curtain of the changing room.

She stood waiting for a long time and decided to take a peak through the curtain. The girl looked unsure as she regarded herself in the mirror, apparently lost in thought. "It looks good on you, Rei." Misato said reassuringly, to which the blue-haired girl rewarded her a slightly startled look through the mirror. "Don't you think?" She asked after a moment of silence. The girl turned to watch the dress from the sides left and right, grasping slightly at the skirt as she did, then turned around to face the Major. A minute nod confirmed her question. A soft smile graced Misato's lips as she looked the girl over. "Why don't you keep that on. Asuka's gonna have a fit if she ever saw you in her clothes." She smiled wider, not realizing how true that statement had proven to be to a certain brown-haired boy across the city from them.

Misato drew the curtain aside entirely and stepped back to allow the girl some room. Finally the girl emerged from the dressing room in the loose fitting lace dress. Thin straps to go over the shoulders, a frayed edge at the top and along the front that went all the way down to where it met a simple seam that tightened the fit around the hips, and a skirt going down halfway along the thighs. A simple black shirt with v-shaped neck went underneath. Good enough. Misato mused. "Alright Rei, that's enough I think. Let's go home."

Rei sat silently pondering what the day had brought until now. She ventured a quick peek at the Major beside her in the driver's seat. Why does she do this for me? She thought as she realized she had never spent so much time with the woman, let alone accompanied her to shop for clothing, something she had never considered doing ever. She ran her palms over the soft fabric of her newly bought dress, not noticing the sideways glance Misato gave her or the small smile that crossed her lips.

She cares? It was an odd affair, caring for another. She felt it for Shinji. To care... A warm feeling when another is... well. She couldn't find the word for the feeling but it would have to do. A cold feeling when another is hurting. Hurt she knew well. The blonde doctor flashed through her mind for a moment as well as the Commander. But not for everyone. Caring... it involves trust? She dismissed the thought immediatly, erasing the two from her mind in the hopes of discarding the painful memories that she had come to associate with them.

Concern for another person's well being. Wanting... happiness? What is happiness? Have I felt it? Have I felt trust? She pondered that for a moment. Yes. She concluded, the image of Shinji Ikari occupied her mind. I trust him. Does he trust me as well? Should he? She had yet to tell him. She looked at the woman beside her again, then opened her hands to reveal her scarred palms. A memory; the glasses breaking between her clenching fists. Trust can be lost. Care can be lost. A ping of fear resonated through her heart.

To care... to care is to trust? Rei looked at the Major through the corners of her eyes, only slightly turning her head to regard the woman. Major Katsuragi. She... trusted me to tell me about her past earlier. The blue-haired girl concluded as she reminisced about the drive to the commercial district. "...it took me a while to get more than two words out..." The words echoed in the girl's mind momentarily. Words can express care and trust.

"Katsuragi-san..." Misato didn't respond to the inquiry and kept her eyes on the road. Silence ensued for a moment until Rei spoke again. An insecure tone laced her voice. "M... Misato-san." Better. Misato smiled at the thought and looked at the girl. "Yes, Rei?"

"I..." The girl started, then stopped immediatly as her face scrunched up with a sullen look. She was clearly fighting to find the right words. The smile dropped from Misato's face, trying to keep her attention to the road as well as on the girl. "I... There... there are things... about me." The girl resumed cryptically. Here it comes. Misato thought as she changed lanes to overtake a car. She wanted to give the girl her full attention, but attending to the road and her was making that difficult.

"Rei... give me a moment will you?" She spoke softly as she looked for a spot along the mountain road to park the car. The girl nodded as she resumed her gaze on the road. After a minute the raven-haired woman identified a small open spot overlooking the valley. She let her foot off the gas pedal and let the vehicle roll into it. She let the car idle for a moment, then decided to cut the engine. This could take more than a moment. She let her eyes wander to the valley for a moment then turned to look at the girl, shifting slightly in her seat as she did.

Rei identified the moment as her turn to speak and looked at Misato with a somewhat sad expression. She looked down and closed her eyes, trying to find the right words again. Misato could see the internal struggle going on within Rei and decided to preempt her, speaking as kindly as she could. "Rei... there are things I... I have found out about you." The girl opened her eyes and regarded her with shock and a tinge of fear. Misato reached out to gently grasp the girl's shoulder in a comforting manner. "I think... that might be what's worrying you... am I right?" The girl nodded, shock replaced by fear entirely now, not consoled by the woman's touch.

She gave the girl a slight squeeze. "Don't worry, okay?" She smiled softly again. The fear in Rei's eyes eased somewhat. Kindness... in her eyes as well. Trust. Care. She thought as she regarded the Major. She sighed with slight relief and spoke. "I am... scared." Misato tilted her head, waiting for the girl to continue. "Scared that... Shinji might not understand." She started to tremble at the admission, never having spoken so bluntly about feelings. It was a vulnerability she hadn't much experience with.

"What do you know about yourself, Rei?" Misato said as she squeezed the girl's shoulder again slightly. She turned to face the girl a bit more, laying her leg sideways over the driver's seat and resting her ear against the seat's headrest. The girl fidgeted with her hands in her lap, her eyes shifting left and right as she looked at nothing in particular between her feet.

"I am... not human. I was... made." Misato didn't speak but let her hand slide down the girl's arm and to her hand, taking it gently in her own, urging her to continue with the touch. "The Angel. It... contacted me, and... something of me... within Eva." Misato's eyebrows raised, and kept silent still. "I... I have dreams. Dreams of something... something that I am." The girl closed her eyes, the beginnings of tears edging at the sides. Silence reigned for a long time only broken by an occasional car speeding by and the cicadas outside. Finally the girl broke it with a whisper. "I am... scared of what they might mean."

"You're wrong, Rei." Misato asserted, but spoke kindly. "You're more human than you think." A surprised look crossed the blue-haired girl's face as she found the Major's eyes. A single tear detached from her eyelashes and slid down her cheek. Misato pulled the girl into a warm embrace, feeling tears wet her shoulder through her jacket.

"I... feel as though I am not myself..." The girl sobbed. "I... long for death." She admitted through the tears. "...I long for it, and he won't let me." Rei shivered despite the warmth. A coldness gripped Misato's heart at her words and she tightened the embrace, closing her eyes as she rubbed the girl's back. A whisper. "Now... I am unsure." Misato sighed in relief, the icy feeling melting somewhat. She pulled back from the embrace and cupped the girl's face in her hands, peering into eyes of red.

The young pilot's eyes disengaged from her own. She was searching for words again, Misato could see. She waited patiently for the girl to voice her thoughts. "I... I do not... value my life..." I am unhappy. Rei added mentally in conclusion of her earlier ruminations.

The corners of the raven-haired woman's mouth angled down and she bit the inside of her cheek, her head tilting to the side as she regarded Rei. "Is that why you tried to hurt yourself?" Misato asked the girl, concern filling her heart as she let her hands fall to gently grasp the girl's. Rei nodded slightly in response. She pulled back further from the embrace and carefully thumbed the scars on the girls hands as she held them.

Red pupils found hers again and the girl trembled but held the gaze. "Shinji... trusts me. He might reject me if... if he finds out about... me." The tears were subsiding now, but a sad expression remained. "I can see that he cares for you alot, you know." Misato cooed softly as she dropped her eyes on their hands. "You should tell him what you know. Tell him about the dreams. Just... just tell him. It would be better that he hears it from you. He worries for you."

Misato still wasn't sure how much the girl knew, but it was clear that she was still hurting. Sharing feelings was painful, she knew. Rouji Kaji came to mind. They had been close once, and hurt eachother to the point of breaking up. Then he stepped back into her life, and all the old feelings had resurfaced, both pleasant and not. To care for eachother sometimes also meant hurting one another. He had hurt her again, but not by mistreatment. His death had hurt her, his gift had shown her care.

She pulled the girl into a hug again, comforted slightly by it from her own thoughts. "Rei. He may be hurt by whatever it is you tell him." She said honestly as she broke the hug, holding the girl gently by the shoulders as she looked into her eyes. "But as long as you trust him, and tell him truthfully he will understand." The girl nodded in understanding and sighed. Neither broke their gaze as they looked at eachother a moment longer before Misato broke the silence. "Will you be okay?"

Rei thought it over for a moment and nodded. To care is to trust. The hands on her shoulders fell back as Misato smiled one last time. She gave the teen a quick caress of the cheek before sitting back into the drivers seat. "Alright, let's go. Shinji's probably started dinner already."

Asuka woke to the grumbling of her own stomach, feeling lightheaded as she sat up in an unfamiliar room. "Wha-..." How did I end up here? Where am I? Her empty stomach growled once more.

"Ah you're up..." That all too familiar voice again, belonging to a boy with an all too kind smile, mocking her with its' brilliance. "You!" Asuka spat, as if continuing where she had left off a few hours earlier. The boy lifted his hands in a defensive manner, as if to dissuade an armed robber from holding him up in an dark alley. "Now now, I was just-..." The girl cut him off immediatly as she sprang up from the sofa she had been laying on. "What th-... aah." She slurred as her lightheadedness caught up with her and stumbled forward, trying to keep her balance as her body protested once more to the lack of proper nourishment. Despite her anger she sagged into the red-eyed boy, the world blackening around her, stars sparkling in her vision.

Her vision cleared for a moment and she was about to reinvigorate her attempt to pounce Kaworu when the girl wobbled on her feet, knees soft, legs almost succumbing to gravity. She fell over forward and the grey-haired teen grabbed her to stop her from falling completely for the second time that day. "Ah... keep... your hands off me." The half-German protested weakly. With a smile Kaworu set her straight back up on her feet and let his hands fall to his sides. More demanding sounds emanated from Asuka's abdomen as she hardly managed to stand, needing to grab the boy by the shoulder to keep herself upright.

"I would, but you can hardly stand on your own two feet." He said almost mockingly. The girl felt too queasy to notice the slight jab, her tummy let itself be heard once again. "Ah..." The boy raised his finger before his chest as he remembered what he had been doing in the kitchen. "I thought you might be hungry. I have some food for you in the kitchen." He looked at the girl with that ever present smile as he put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. He slipped an arm around her back. "Here, let me help you." The anger was seeping away from the girl, along with her strenght. She let herself be led towards the kitchen and sat down at what could be called a small dining table.

"F...food huh?" She grumbled, too lightheaded to remember her anger. Her stomach made a peculiar squeaking sound, like a hungry puppy pestering its' owner for food. Something to eat doesn't sound so bad... even if it comes from him. I'll kick his ass afterwards. The boy dissapeared from her view for a moment, the edges of which were very slowly creeping in on her as she tried to keep steady in her seat. After a few seconds he returned to the table with a bowl of miso soup and a some stir fried vegetables.

He sat down across from her and looked at her curiously, but remained silent as she began to eat her food. "You didn't return home after I saw you yesterday, did you?" He said finally, quirking an eyebrow as the girl slurped up the half of her bowl of soup in a somewhat undignified manner. Asuka looked at him over the bowl's edge but otherwise did not respond. Damnit. He knows that I saw him. She thought, downing another portion of her soup. She put the bowl down and looked at him for a moment. "What's it to you?" She said, discontent lacing her voice.

"Just curious." He stated simply as he watched her munching away at the vegetables on her plate. She peeked through her eyebrows again, taking another bite. Damnit... it´s good too. Almost as good as Shinji´s. "I..." She started. "I was going to go home this morning." She said just before she took the bowl of soup in both hands again, enjoying the warmth between her hands and the taste in her mouth more than she wanted to admit.

Why am I sharing this with him. I want to hate his guts... but... She stopped the thought, blocking another admission to herself from forming. She emptied the last bit of the broth and put the empty container back on the table with a thud. She couldn't stop herself as she explained further, anger seeping into her voice. "I came home to find Misato and Rei coming out of the appartment. So I went up to give Shinji a piece of my mind."

"What did he have to say?" Kaworu's interest peaked at mention of the blue-eyed boy's name. A somewhat ashamed look replaced the anger on Asuka's face. "Nothing, I kicked the crap out of him. I ran away after that." I wonder how he's doing. She admitted to herself, the anger now fully replaced with shame.

"Oh..." He breathed. "Why'd you run away from your home, then?"

Why did I? Shinji looked happy to see me... Her heart sank for but a moment as she remembered the boy's smiling face before the defenses came back up in an instant, replacing the shame and sorrow for her actions with anger. Pushing people away was easier than showing weakness, much more familiar. "Because I hate them! And you!"

"Why?" He asked innocently as he tilted his head.

"Why shouldn't I hate you!? You're my replacement, and they've discarded me like an old toy." Like momma discarded me for that doll... She felt weak again. "And you know what?" She said as a lump formed in her throat. "They should!" Her voice croaked. "I'm damaged goods..." She whimpered. The boy looked oddly at the coined phrase. Damaged goods... I've never heard that before. Such creative possibilities with language. He smiled at the realization, forgetting his guest for but a moment. Oddly fitting, I suppose. He recovered from his internal reverie and gazed at the now sullen girl as she broke him from his thoughts.

"Perhaps they were trying to help her. Did you maybe misconstrue their actions?" His demeanor and voice remained calm, only acting as a catalist for the anger that was still present in the redhead's heart and gut. "Misconstrue my ass! I saw them coming out of my appartment with... with that bitch, that doll! They even dressed her up like me! Those assholes..." She trailed off as her voice broke, anger almost vented, leaving mostly pain.

"Doll?"

"Rei, Goddamnit! They replaced me for that damn...!" She squealed, leaving the sentence unfinished. "I'm gone for a day and all of a sudden she's there, and she's wearing my freaking clothes!" He remained calm as ever. "I'm sure it is not like that. Miss Ayanami is in bad shape. Perhaps they took her in to help her."

"Yeah?! Is that why you took me in!?" The girl jeered at the boy across from her as she stood from her seat and slammed her hands on the tabletop, making the tableware dance on its' surface at the sudden jolt. Tears were brimming in her eyes. "Like some stray cat you found abandoned in the city!?" Asuka's sobbed, her words stirring the memory of Kaworu's first encounter with Shinji within his mind. "I don't want your fucking pity..." She yammered, tears starting to stream across her face. God I'm so pathetic. Crying my fucking eyes out at some stranger.

Kaworu's eyes narrowed though he remained calm. This one needs something else. "Because I thought you might need a hand, but perhaps that's not what you were looking for..." He stated flatly as he rose from the seat across from her in response. She mistakes kindness for weakness.

"It's no life. A pointless existence." He paused for a moment, then continued. "To go on without purpose, I mean. Just waiting for the day to die." There was no trace left of the smile that seemed to occupy his face always. His eyes were cold, his demeanor detached somehow. He stepped around the table, stalking at her like a predator does its' prey. "If it is death you're looking for, there are plenty who would deal it." His voice was cold like his eyes as he slowly moved towards her.

"Perhaps it would be better..." The girl said dispondedly, the remaining anger gone from her voice in an instant, wiping at her eyes with her fists. "Better?" He inquired with a tilt of the head, moving closer still.

"To be dead..." The girl responded weakly now. His eyes twitched slightly at her statement as he stepped into her personal space. Asuka took a defensive step backward, but found her path blocked by the small wooden chair she had been sitting on. She put a hand on the backrest for support, leaning over backwards to keep from falling over. Asuka regained her footing and quickly stepped through the small gap between the chair and the table to regain some distance. The tears stopped and goosebumps crossed her skin from his icey stare as Kaworu followed suit.

"If that is how you feel..." He near whispered in response as he closed the distance once again and made the girl backpeddle further. She shivered as he inched closer to her, his hands grasping at- and pushing against her shoulders, pressing her back into the wall. His piercing red eyes squinted to see into hers, what lay behind them rather. Hands came up to her neck, enveloping it, thumbs pressing against her throat slightly. Asuka's eyes went wide with shock and fear, but she made no move to stop him. Holy shit... She swallowed against the pressure on her larynx.

The boy continued his stare, looking deeper, the moment lasting for what seemed like an hour to the red-haired pilot. What is he doing? Is... is he serious? Her mind was still trying to play catch-up with what was happening. I... I don't want to die! She yelled internally, but still made no move to stop the boy. Please, not like this!

The pressure fell away along with his hands, and the boy stood back up straight, looking down at the girl over his nose. "No. You don't mean it." Asuka swallowed again, eyes still wide as saucers. Holy hell... She exhaled fully, having held her breath the whole time, releasing it in a shudder. He turned and walked away from her with a dismissive wave of the hand. "Stay or leave. I won't stop you. It's up to you." The girl shuddered violently as she crossed her arms over her chest, grasping at her shoulders as she let herself slide down the wall.

"We're back!" Misato chirped as she stepped through the doorway. She sniffed for a moment, hoping to discover the fine aromas of Shinji's cooking floating through the air. "Shinji?... Asuka!?" She called a little louder as she toed the heel of her shoe to get out off the tight footwear absentmindedly. Having worked off the first piece she continued working on the other shoe. "That's odd..." Misato muttered as she finally managed to kick it off. She hung her jacket onto the coat rack as she stepped out of the small hallway and into the room.

She cast a glance into the kitchen, and finding no one there she looked at her wristwatch. Almost five-thirty... I would've thought Shinji had started dinner by now... "Shinji?" She called again. The blue-haired girl behind her stepped inside as well, casting off her shoes in a swift motion, holding a bunch of bags in each hand. She was suddenly very self-aware in her new state of dress, nervousness filling her as she anticipated a number of possible reactions from Shinji. She was snapped out of it at a croaking noise coming from the sofa further into the living area. "I'm over here..."

Both women walked into the living room to the to the source of the obviousy pained voice. Misato looked over at the kitchen. "I thought you would've sta-..." Her voice cut off as she noticed the broken pieces of ceramics and what was once a mobile phone strewn about the floor. She looked back to the boy sprawled over the sofa, two now melted bags of lukewarm water by his head and side. "What happened?" Both women said simultaneously. He managed to lift his head off the armrest and gave them a pained expression through squinted eyes.

After a moment the boy tried to sit up and regretted it instantly, letting himself fall back onto the sofa. After a whince and a groan he muttered nearly inaudibly. "It... it was Asuka..." Rei quickly dropped the bags from her hands and moved to Shinji to kneel at his side, a soft hand laid over his forehead. Misato stayed in place, eyeing the boy suspiciously as he continued. "She came back right... ah... right after you left and... she just went off on me." He breathed deeply as he eyed the blue-haired girl. "She... she was saying she had been replaced and... and then she pushed me and kicked the hell out of me. She ran off right after."

"Oh no..." The raven-haired woman muttered in understanding. She must've seen us leave and drawn the wrong conclusion. "Did... she didn't tell you where she went did she?" She asked, knowing the obvious answer. The boy looked at her with an expression reading something along the lines of; "Really?" She sighed tiredly. Just what we needed... She eyed the broken piece of hardware on the kitchen floor for a moment. Well... calling her won't make a difference. What the hell do I do now? Inform Section 9?

Ritsuko felt numb as she found herself staring at the picture of her, her mother and the Commander once more. Her finger toyed with the small black cat figurine, letting it teeter on the edge of it's base, bringing it back upright just as it was about to fall over. Her eyes fell to her mother, smiling warmly at the camera. Akagi... a cursed name... for a cursed family. A family of fools. She brought the small black cat underneeth her index finger to the brink of imbalance once again. With a push she toppled it over and let it fall.

Her gaze shifted to her own image, a solemn look on her face, hair unbleached back then. For all her efforts to not follow in her mother's footsteps, here she was, so much like her. Ritsuko's finger moved to the white cat and repeated her previous actions. You should've done something to stop him when you found out, mother. Her eyes shifted to the fallen black miniature for a brief moment as the last of its' momentum lost out and the gentle sway of it on her desktop came to an end.

She looked at the Commander now. I can see it so clearly now, even behind those glasses. She sighed as her eyes fell to the white cat that she considered pushing over like she had the other. Her eyes closed as she remembered her mother, bloodsmeared and broken beside the MAGI supercomputers, the lifeless body of the young Rei Ayanami a level up. She pushed the thing below her hand to the edge, eyes still closed. Another memory. A rubber tube around a neck, an echoing fury and eagerness to smother passed through her mind. Same girl, different iteration. If I keep true to the family name, there will be no Akagi left to take care of the next one. She snickered cynically.

No, she was smarter than that. She wouldn't do what her mother did, though it was tempting somehow. There were different ways of lashing out. Live and learn. A guilty smile crossed her face for but a moment, being wiped away instantly as the metallic click of a door being opened brought her back to attention in the here-and-now. She swiveled around on her chair to regard the entrant. The white cat swayed back and forth until it regained balance. Kozo Fuyutsuki stepped through the portal, closing the door behind him in a smooth motion. The tall man regarded her for a moment, and she him. "Fuyutsuki... I wasn't sure if I'd see you again." She admitted wryly.

He eyed her for a moment, staying where he was. "It appears I am still alive, yes. Though I'm not sure whether I'm surprised or grateful... or both... or if perhaps I should be neither." His face remained unchanged from the calm that he had entered with, despite his situation. "There is no use in running, and there is no use in keeping up an act of innocence." He said plainly.

The woman hummed, eyes blank. Silence ensued between the two, both unsure of what to say. "I came her to face him. For the girl's sake... for Yui's..." That was something the woman did not want to hear. They're all entranced by her still, even after so many years... her and that mimic. Ritsuko looked at him a moment longer and turned back to her laptop, trying to hide the sneer that formed on her mouth, starting up programs and opening folders for no other reason than to appear busy.

"What's that you're carrying with you." She asked with feigned interest without looking at the grey-haired deputy Commander again. Kozo looked to the binder in his hand briefly. "It is something I wish to give the Major. Have you seen her by any chance?"

"No... she's off duty today, Saturday and all." She said dismissively. Kozo sighed in resignation, contemplating what to do now. "Fine... did you talk with Ikari at all, after..." His words trailed off.

"This morning." Came the short reply, still no eye-contact. "He told me replacing her was no longer necessary." Fuyutsuki didn't notice the hint of contempt hidden in the mention of the young pilot, too preoccupied by his thoughts on the best course of action.

He cleared his throat as he regarded the blonde doctor's back a moment longer, sensing there was something off, but too preoccupied to do anything about it. "Well then, I'll... go to him." The woman's fingers moving over the keyboard stopped suddenly, and she looked at the man with barely a sideways glance. "Good luck." She said cynically, then returned her eyes to the screen and her hands to their pointless endeavour.

The tall man stepped out the door without another word and she was left once again on her own. Her fingers stopped their incessant and futile tapping, no one left to observe her, no one left to fool. A quiet tear slipped down her cheek. All of them. All for her. Her eyes fell closed. What about me? Nothing for me... Nothing but the malevolence in my heart to keep me company.

The trio had shared a short and quiet dinner, ordering takeout with Shinji in no condition to do any cooking. Quickly afterwards Misato had excused herself to go looking for the redheaded pilot, leaving Shinji and Rei alone in the apartment. The quiet in the house continued as the two teens sat at the dining table. Rei fidgeted with the fabric of her new dress underneath the table, feeling strangely dissapointed the boy had not made mention of her clothes, but understanding his current state of mind.

The boy was obviously distraught, and she was having a hard time finding the words to adress the issue. Rei wanted to help him somehow, console him perhaps, but what she should say to him she didn't quite know. After a while the boy across from her broke the silence with a sigh, his head on the table and arms encircling it. "This is all because of me... I'm responsible for this."

"Why?"

"I... got into a fight with Asuka two days ago... at the hospital. I... said things I shouldn't have. I try... but..." He sniffed away a tear, otherwise leaving his head where it lay. "She never listens to me. When I apologize she gets angry... so..." Rei stood from her seat and walked over to the downtrodden boy, laying a hand on his back meaning to comfort him. "I... do not know how I can help." She whispered only just loud enough for the boy to hear.

"That's okay, Rei." Shinji offered, sniffing back more tears that were now silently slipping from his eyes. "You... try to help at least. Thank you for trying..." The blue-haired girl did not know how to respond, so she stayed where she was with her hand on his back, hoping somehow it would soothe him. Despite her efforts his body shook with sobs. "I'm pathetic and weak..." He spoke lowly, though the words didn't really ring true even to him.

Rei tilted her head slightly at the boy's remark, lost in thought a moment. He is not weak... he feels responsible for other people's pain. Caring is not weakness... "That is... not true." She asserted finally. A sense of shock passed through Shinji momentarily at her words, and the tears stopped almost instantly. He rolled his head slightly to regard Rei standing beside him though the corner of his eye, her hand still on his back. She... she wants to help me. Her touch soothes me. He realized as he felt some of the darkness within him dissipate through the warmth of her hand.

"I just..." He started as he sniffed away the last few tears while the girl waited for him to voice his thoughts. "I don't want her to hurt... but she won't accept anything I say." Rei looked down, unsure of why the boy remained in defense of the fiery redhead. He cares for her, even though she mistreats him. She dismissed the constricting feeling in her heart, one she failed to identify as jealousy. He does not have to feel this way about her. Despite the feeling she wished to remain truthful. She disliked the feeling, she registered, and she disliked the way it was tempting her to bend her words. After some effort she responded. "You try, but you cannot help someone that does not accept help."

"I know." He said simply. "For... for the longest time I thought I needed her. I did need her. But in the hospital... I... I guess... I realized that I didn't any longer. I thought... standing up to her would help... that maybe she would respect me... but... whatever I do it's never enough. I can't stop the people I love from getting hurt." Fear spiked her heart at the boy's words. Her mouth moved of its' own accord as she voiced her thoughts. "Love?"

"Y-yeah..."

He loves her. Rei swallowed the beginnings of a lump in her throat as she mulled the boy's words over. He helped me because I was hurt. He loves me as well? That constricting feeling in her gut again. Is... his love the same for me as it is for her?

A long silence ensued as the obvious remaining questions festered in both teens' minds, neither having the mental fortitude in this moment to voice them. After a while Shinji lifted his head from the table, tears now subsided. With a sad expression he looked up at Rei and smiled weakly. "Thank you, Rei... for listening." She nodded only slightly in response. Eventually Shinji rose from his seat. "I'm tired... are you?" Again she responded with a nod. Side by side they walked to Shinji's room and entered, the girl first and then the boy.

Rei looked back and gave Shinji a worried look as he yelped in pain behind her when lifting his shirt over his head. He stopped midway, unable to get through the motion further for the moment. He took a deep breath and slowly resumed with a low groan, exhaling as he did. Rei stepped closer to Shinji who now finally succeeded in pulling off the garment. He is hurt. A bruise covered his side just under his ribs and she wondered if none had been broken. I do not wish to see him in pain. The boy noticed her worried look and smiled uncomfortably at her through the pain, trying to assure her that everything was fine and failing miserably.

She didn't speak as she reached out and gently touched his side, her eyes meeting his for but a moment before her fingers reached his skin. He winced as her fingers ran carefully over it, not so much in pain as for the sensitivity of it. Rei looked at the bruise intently as she assessed the damage with her hand, tenderly running her fingers across his ribs. He looked at her as she inspected his side with wonderment over her careful manner, the softness of her hands. She's very gentle... She caught him looking at her and returned the gaze, concern written over her face. He didn't look away and neither did she. I could look into her eyes forever. Shinji realized absentmindedly, a pleasant flutter passing through his stomach.

"I do not think any are broken." She said softly, keeping her eyes on his. "How is your head?" Shinji lifted his arm and brought his hand up to rub his scalp carefully. "It's not so bad... the headache's mostly gone at least." He responded softly as he kept his blue eyes on her red ones, losing himself in them momentarily. There was genuine care in them, a softness reserved only for him. She didn't want him to be hurt, wanted to ease his pain like he did hers. She cares. I'm... not sure if I ever felt that before... not like this.

He blushed slightly as he became more aware of his state of undress and looked away to the shirt he wore at night that lay on the bed. Rei followed his gaze and moved to pick the garment up, preparing it in her hands to ease his arms through. She helped Shinji put the shirt on with calculated precision, arms first and then his head. He caught her gaze again as he poked his head through the collar and looked at her with a tinge of amazement. She guided the rest of the shirt down his torso and caught his eyes once more as she looked back up.

Rei couldn't look away from the boy, and found herself swimming in his sad blue eyes. She gently lifted her hand to his cheek and brushed against it with the back of her fingers. Love... is that what this feels like? Her eyes fell on his lips not for the first time in the last few days, then moved back to meet his eyes again. Both teens' hearts bubbled with a recognition of the care they felt from and for the other. Neither dared speak. Neither could resist the urge to close the distance.

Ever so slowly they edged closer, tilting their heads and closing their eyes. They could feel eachother's warm breath blow across their face, their noses touching slightly and tingling comfortably with the sensation. They brushed them together deliberately as they moved further. Their lips touched with a feathery lightness for but a second. They retreated only enough to part lips, a pleasurable tingle of electricity running through their spines for a moment, noses still touching slightly.

Butterflies in their stomachs, their eyes opened again and they looked deeply into eachother. Hands met and clasped together between them. They closed the distance again, eyes closing once more as they explored eachother's lips a little longer, applying a bit more pressure now. They parted after a while, both swallowing their sudden nerves. A deep blush crossed their faces, their pains almost forgotten, be it physical or emotional.

Finally Shinji dared speak. "You... look very pretty, Rei." Her blush deepened at the boy's praise and she looked away, unsure of how to respond to such a compliment. "T-thank you..." She whispered after a moment as she risked a short glance at his face. It seemed like the only proper response, the boy's slight smile the only proof she needed that it was.

Trust. The word shot through her mind as she came to terms with the kiss they just shared. "Shinji..." She whispered. I must tell him. She contemplated as her red eyes broke with his blues. The brown haired boy's mind was too muddled to notice. He licked his lips and swallowed against his somewhat dry mouth, dissapointed that their moment of intimacy had passed so quickly. I kissed Rei... His mind was swimming in the sudden realization. Her liquid eyes met his once more.

Their hands fell apart as Shinji released hers, putting his own on her hips gently. He stepped forward into her, making her step backwards in his grasp slightly. I... want more. He thought desperately as his eyes bore into hers. And so does she. Rei held her breath, acutely aware of the moment they were sharing, wondering if she should postpone the conversation, the one she herself had just tried initiating. Her heart stung at the realization, still drumming away in her chest at an elevated rate.

What is this...? That gut-clenching feeling again. I wish to keep this moment for myself? The selfishness of it, though she still did not recognize it as such consciously, left her feeling ashamed, and she broke her eyes from his. I could... lose this forever if I told him. Rei stayed silent, as did the young Ikari. No... I must. She looked up slowly to his lips, shaking in place despite the pleasant temperature of the room, despite his warmth. "Shinji... I..." Before the girl could finish he gently brought his lips to hers again. She felt overwhelmed. She wanted to tell him, but the experience was completely drowning all thought out of her mind. Words choking in her throat as he explored her lips. Her eyes fell closed and after a moment she gave in.

He stepped forward again with her in his arms. She backpeddled into the bed and their kiss broke. Shinji let Rei slip through his hands as she fell back onto the bed. She looked up, trembling slightly still, eyes wide and mouth agape. He closed in while she crawled backwards unto the bed, putting his knees on the bed and hovering over her, hands flat on the matrass by her arms as he held himself up. She swallowed, the guilty look on her face mirroring the one on his, albeit for different reasons.

He leaned down and she met his mouth halfway, her hands coming up to caress his cheeks as their intimate meeting of lips increased in passion. There was no going back anymore, she was lost. Her hands roamed his face for a moment, ending on the back of his neck as she pulled him down with her. Shinji all but collapsed into her, snaking one hand around her to the small of her back, the other between her shoulder blades. Her hands moved from his neck to his chest, drawing concentric circles for a while before moving around his back. She pulled him closer, and he did her, both pressing their bodies against eachother, not getting close enough in their minds.

Shinji drew back only a moment, both teens catching their breath in that instant, then reinvigorated his kiss. He drew his tongue slightly against her lips and she answered with hers on instinct. They rolled to their side, making Shinji wince slightly against the tinge of pain in his side, but biting through it, not caring enough to break apart. Rei pushed further, rolling him onto his back, her hips stradling his. Their bodies made their arousal known, heat brewing within them. Lips danced a heated tango, hips ground together, hands roamed over their bodies through the fabric of their clothes.

After quite some time their passion ended in contented exhaustion. Neither teen spoke as their heavy petting wound down. For a while only gentle kisses and caresses remained in exchange until finally they fell asleep in eachother's arms.

Gendo and Kozo stood face-to-face in Ikari's office. It had appeared to become a common occurance as of late, these late-night meetings. But today's was different. He had decided to face the man head on after dropping the binder off in Misato's small office. If there was anything Ikari would do about his betrayel, running wouldn't be an option. He was too old for such things in any case. So here he stood under the Commander's gaze. The man's glasses glinted in the dimmed lights as he gave him a pensive look and spoke. "Fuyutsuki... You have never held back you opinions and feelings before, why would you neglect to voice them now?"

He bit his lip as he looked at his old friend's face. There was no malice in it, though it remained stoic as always. After a moment he replied honestly. "I don't know..." The man across from him sighed, uncharacteristically for anyone that didn't know him as well as himself, then turned his side to him with his eyes on the ground. He spoke in a somewhat hushed fashion, it was unlike the man, surprising even for the grey-haired man in this case. "Why do you think I kept you around?"

"Tell me..." He had no other response for the man. He had come to expect differently from the him by now, but apparently there was some sentiment left in the otherwise cold and determined Ikari. Gendo turned to face him once again, noticing the somewhat sceptical tone in Kozo's voice. His glasses caught that same glint once again. "I do not jest, Kozo..." He paused a moment to read the old man's reaction before finishing. "...if that is what you think."

The Sub-Commander could only grunt in acceptance of the man's statement. Gendo, getting no other reply, continued. "You are a respectable man." He pocketed his hands in his jacket as he regarded the man's reaction. A slight rise of the eyebrows, a downturn of the corners of his mouth. "I respect you, if that was unclear."

Fuyutsuki supressed the surprised rise of his brows, and hardened his eyes in dissagreement of the statement. "I don't know if that's true, Gendo." He said, confirming Gendo's thoughts. The bespectacled man reaffirmed his judgement of the man as he unpocketed one of his hands and laid it against his one-time teacher's arm reassuringly. "It is..."

Kozo turned and walked away from the man's hand, which dropped to his side. Gendo's eyes narrowed at the man's rejection and followed him as he walked up to the desk. He put his hands on the surface, bending over it slightly and leaning on it for some support. He breathed a heavy breath before speaking solemnly. "Do respectable men stand idly by when circumstances demand action?"

"Perhaps they do not." Gendo replied through a contemptuous smirk. He didn't much like the man's attitude. He preferred calm and determination, not the insecurity that the grey-haired man was displaying now. He was not a weak man, he knew. He would not have had him by his side if he was. The smirk dropped. "But you have acted now, have you not?"

His shoulders shrugged before mustering a weak response. "I suppose..."

Gendo turned and stepped to close the distance between him and the man again. "It is not for appearences that I chose you to be my confidant..." He said, earning a sideways glance from the man. "Not just, anyway. Though I will not deny that you lend us credibility. Credibility that I can not provide."

Kozo knew this, the elder Ikari had told him as much years ago already. This was not going as he had expected, though what exactly he had in mind would have happened when he confronted the man remained unclear. He wanted to know why he was still around. Had he misjudged him? He had stood by the man for all this time, and only recently had doubt caught up with him. But why did Gendo allow such a threat so close to the end? Was this just another manipulation?

He took his hands from the desk and turned to face Gendo once again, straightening his pose as he asked the question that was on his mind. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"Because it would not have mattered." Gendo replied simply, pocketing the hand that had hung by his side again. Kozo tilted his head at the remark before inquiring further. "In the end it didn't, but how did you know?" The Commander smirked visibly and scoffed. "You are usually more observant, Sensei." A short and subdued laugh emanated from the man. "There was a report from section 2 providing intel on Rei's wereabouts." His head tilted, undoubtedly reveling in his somewhat surprised reaction. "So you did know she wouldn't be there..."

The smirk fell again, and a curt reply followed suit. "Correct..."

Kozo hummed in acceptance of the new information, his eyes averting from the man as he looked out the office window. He responded somewhat absentmindedly, wondering what was to follow. "And now... what will you do now?" Without waiting for a response he walked towards the window, gliding one hand over the desk until it ended underneeth his fingers and his hand dropped to his side.

Gendo responded with the man's back to him. "Nothing... if this is the path you wish to take, I will not stop you." He closed the distance between them as he stepped up next to Fuyutsuki and joined him in his gaze outside.

"Why..." Kozo asked quietly.

"Because I do not believe it will matter, and because you are my friend." He looked at the man beside him. Kozo did not return his gaze as he responded coolly. "The only one, then..."

Gendo stifled a genuine chuckle. "...Likely so..."

If it was manipulation or friendship Kozo was unsure, but he decided to speak his mind as he had always done, as he had neglected to do lately. He wasn't sure what it would entail, but he did not care. Perhaps Gendo was right and it wouldn't matter, or perhaps he was playing into his hands. "I will expose what, or rather who, caused Third Impact... all the data I have collected. I will send it out into the world."

Finally he turned to look at the bespectacled man beside him, who turned to meet his gaze for but a moment as he responded. "I see... If you wish."

"Yes... perhaps it won't matter, as you say, but I will have tried." He said finally as they stood facing eachother.

"Good..."

"And you won't stop me?" He bit the inside of his cheek, still unsure why the man accepted it all so willingly. Gendo sighed shortly before responding. "No... I am protected now, unlike in the past." His head turned to look outside again, eyes unfocussed. "As are you Kozo. There is nothing SEELE can do, not for a while at least. You should have a free hand..."

He gave his one-time student a pensive look and shook his head. "Why... Gendo... I still don't understand why..." He looked at his feet, and the space between them, biting his lip outwardly now, then back at the man as he answered. "I have no other answer to give you, Kozo... I understand that you do not trust me, but it is nonetheless..."

"So you will leave Rei alone?"

Gendo looked at him now, his eyes softened somewhat. It was a look even he was not often trusted with. "Yes... I will find another way. With her in the Major's care any... intervention would not be wise, wouldn't you agree?" It was as much as he would get, he knew. It still amazed him how rigid and definitive the man could be at one moment, yet flexible and adaptive when the situation called for it at another.

He let that thought roll around in his head for a moment as he regained some of the admiration he had felt for the man in the past, but none of the trust. "I suppose it would... raise eyebrows." There it was; that old dynamic between them. To know eachother's motives, and to stand together despite differences of opinion. "Though I understand you're no less resolved?" He inquired finally, hoping to concretize his understanding of the man once again.

"No..."

The truth. It was what he wanted to hear from the man. They understood eachother. "Just... think of what Yui might feel about this." Gendo looked him straight in the eyes through tinted glasses and replied simply. "I will take that chance..."

Kozo sighed. "Very well... I'll take my leave then." He turned on his heel and walked off towards the door. He looked at the elder Ikari once more, the man in question moving slowly, hands in pockets, towards the hardwood desk sat centered in the office. He hummed in acceptance as he stepped out the door.

The office remained quiet for a while. Gendo stood over the desk, looking at his reflection in the polished wood. A small smirk formed on his face as he continued his stride, moving around the desk as he fingered a button and unlocked the drawer embedded in the side. He slid it open to reveal the picture of Yui once more. He left it open, his hands moving to his uniform jacket once more and grasped what lay within its' pocket.

He carefully removed a small box from it and flipped open the lid to reveal Adam laying within. The bakalite container it was held in before had been discarded, and the small embryo lay exposed, pulsing rhythmically from its' tiny heart's efforts. It had grown somewhat since its' removal, the Commander noted absentmindedly. He picked the small lifeform up by its' vestigial tail and held it before his bespectacled eyes. His smirk widened and he bared his teeth as he muttered under his breath. "Time to speed the clock along." With a single and swift move he swallowed the creature whole.

Author's notes: So... hope you all liked it. I had planned to let more time pass during this chapter, but I ended up keeping with the current pace. It just seems right and gives me a chance to develop things thuroughly. I'm pretty pleased with the interactions between Misato, Rei, and Shinji. They were the parts that I was having some trouble with when I started out.

The characters really needed to connect more strongly to move the story on believably. I hope you agree that I succeeded in bonding them stronger together while leaving room for the obvious traps and pitfalls that lie ahead (this shouldn't be a spoiler to anyone familiar with the anime or mangas).

Also, there isn't much time inbetween the Angel that mindrapes Asuka, and the next in the mangas, so I guess I'm keeping rather well to the original timeframe. There isn't that much else I have planned within that time which requires dedicated chapters without moving forward in the original 'timetable' of the Evangelion universe, so you can expect to get more action in the next chapter or possibly the one after that.

Gambling Willie, antenesis, and asqwerty3345: I hope you don't mind me mentioning you all in the same breath. Thank you for your short but encouraging reviews! It feels good to know that people like what I've done so far. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter as well!

Thank you all for reading. Don't forget to leave a review if you can, and my request for a pre-reader still stands! See you next time!