YES!! I LOVE "The Very Secret Diaries of Legolas" which inspired this story in a way. Hope ya like! ^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own this Anime or any other Anime. I just own some wannabe fics about other people's characters with some characters that I made up reflecting the not owned ones. While at the same time, I might add, stereotyping and misusing out of place logos and other products in the wrong places.

(It's like thoughtcrime! ^.~) I feel so dirty!

Sesshomaru: A Feudal Fluffy Tail


Day 1: Entry 1

Yes, it's not easy being the prettiest character. If you've ever wondered WHY Naraku went after us, I can tell you, oh let me! It might seem like that tall, dark, pretty (yet not as pretty as me), guy is after Inu Yasha and Kikyo the most. Don't believe it.

Naraku is after ME!

That's right, ME!!

Do you know why? He's jealous because I'm the prettiest character.

Not that he doesn't go after my stupid not-so-pretty brother. He doesn't like him because he's annoying! (What a shock!)

And Kikyo? She's just a prissy little wannabe bitch! She's jealous of me too of course.

I'm the prettiest.

Day 1: Entry 2

Gonna go look for Naraku today. But first a bath. Hope this hot spring isn't monitored by fangirls again.

Day 1: Entry 3


Day 1: Entry 4

Jaken finds the crappiest hot springs. He can't really do anything right. The only reason I keep him around is to baby-sit Rin. He also gives good manicures. Plus I can make him go to the grocery store or get a fish sandwich any time I want.

Nancy Pushover Booger man.

Kinda cute though. But the warty green skin kind of a turn off.

Day 1: Entry 5

About to go look for Naraku.

Think he's trying to find a way to absorb me.

Interesting thought, but he only wants me so he can make himself prettier.

Snow White primadonna!

Day 1: Entry 6

Gross! Jaken's skin starting to peel in the heat. Wanted to use my lotion. I told him to get his own freakn' lotion. Bad idea. Now we have to live with the 'molting molester.'

I'm WAY prettier then that shit head.

Day 1: Entry 7

No, seriously. He looks like a shit Head!

Day 1: Entry 8

Rin being annoying. She wants candy. Like hell I'll give her a gram of sugar! Still have nightmares from the last time she had a jolly rancher. Brrrrr.

Day 1: Entry 9

Jaken, the short and kinda cute, has given Rin a piece of Botan Rice Candy. Memo to self. Kill annoying Frog, get tranquilizers for Rin.

Day 1: Entry 10

More Memos to self. Kill brother, who could not be as pretty as me if he tried. Kill Naraku, who is pretty but not as pretty as me. Oh how he wishes he were me!

Kill Yue from Card Captors for trying to impersonate me. But, he's not as pretty as me, right? I'm the prettiest. Now where was I, oh right! Memos: tell Jaken to go buy the curler brush, the hair detangler, a box of chocolate (The dark kind. Plain milk chocolate is boring) cucumber melon lotion. Kill brother. (oh, wait! I already said that.) Well then I'll embarrass him, then kill him.

Day 1: Entry 11

I'm the prettiest, not Yue or Naraku.

Day 1: Entry 12

Also get some shampoo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 2: Entry 11

Jaken has a cold. Or something. His voice is even crappier then usual. He's seriously unattractive. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, he'd be a -10.54. Where as on the same scale, I'd be infinity.

Day 2: Entry 12

I tell you what, Frog Princess had better not give his cold to Rin. Then there would really be a problem.

Day 2: Entry 13

Was that a sneeze I heard?

Day 2: Entry 14

Oh, Snaps.

Day 2: Entry 15

Seriously rethinking Jaken ever being 'cute' in any way.

Day 2: Entry 16

Rin seems to have calmed down now.

Yes, it took her THIS LONG to finally stop jumping around from the sucrose!

My gracious, you would have thought SHE was the frog!

Day 2: Entry 17

A screaming, repetitive frog with an ear splitting, knuckle cracking, mind numbingly loud and obnoxious singing voice.

Day 2: Entry 18

She's STILL singing!

Day 2: Entry 19

STILL singing!

Day 2: Entry 19

It's bad enough Inu Yasha cut off my arm. Can't cover both ears.

Day 2: Entry 20

Thinking of cutting off ears.

Day 2: Entry 21


Day 2: Entry 22

Lambchop is the devil.

Going to let Naraku know he has some serious competition.

Day 2: Entry 23

Going to send Jaken out to get some ear plugs.

And to take Rin with him.

Day 2: Entry 24


Day 2: Entry 25


Day 2: Entry 26

Better now. Jaken came back with the ear plugs. He also got the chocolate and detangler.

He got the plain milk chocolate.

He also forgot the shampoo.

Day: Entry 27

Memo to self: Kill Jaken, put Rin on a bland diet, kill Naraku, kill non- pretty brother, get shampoo.

I am SO pretty!!!


Oh my god! XD This is so freakn funny! What have I been smoking!?! (Pause of thought) It might have been that new white out. I rule at first person narrative! **^__^**