Impetus for the Series

Author: Peace to you readers! How are you today?

Feldt: Yeah. Don't forget us right?

Author: Yes, Feldt?

Feldt: What, author? ... ... ... wait! Wait! Sorry, sorry... what I mean is that, we all hope that you are safe and sound.

Author: ... Feldt, make sure you think before you talk.

Feldt: Sorry, author. Very, very sorry.

Author: That's alright, Feldt. Mir?

Mir: Welcome, and sorry for the intermission. Don't adjust your set yet!

Jasmine: Hi everybody!

Author: Well, it's been a long, long day since then, eh? The time just stops!

Feldt: ... are you cracking, author?

Mir: Yeah... I'd agree. You seem to crack badly.

Jasmine: ... Crack what?

Mir: ... Cracking under pressure!

Feldt: (nods and winces)

Mir: ... What, Feldt?

Feldt: ... I like how you explain it.

Author: Alright, well, instead of a chapter, I am going to do some author's note, can I?

All of them kids: YES!

Author: Today's topic will be something I personally am grappling on getting the grip. It's about the canon.

Mir: Cannon?

Author: No, canon. C-A-N-O-N.

Mir: Ka-nohn, ain't it right?

Author: No. Kay-nohn.

Feldt: ... ... ... thought you should be briskier with the topic.

Author: Alright, sorry, very very sorry, now, there are some aspects of the canon in Powerpuff Girls that I just cannot reconcile. Like, it is serious but not serious. Now...

Mir: How is that supposed to mean?

Author: Now the original series that aired in Cartoon Network - I am personally uncomfortable with it. Now, let me explain:

The premise of the show is unbelievable.

You kids are made from sugar, spice, and everything nice. Oh, and a little dose of er... kick, am I right, kids?

Mir: That's Chemical X, you author!

Author: Well, Craig here made you from er... 'a can of whoop-' in his first college film about you all.

Feldt: What?

Jasmine: Oh no...

Author: Now, now, nothing to fear of. I disliked the word myself, in another words, it is called 'kick on the back'.

Feldt: What?

Jasmine: (gasps)

Author: Now, on to the next cringey thing: When you get all four of them together, there will be an atomic explosion, and you are alive, as humans... yeah... I have a hard time with that.

Feldt: ... oh dear...

Mir: Yeah, I got stuck with that too!

Jasmine: (mind detached fully)

Author: I had a hard, hard time thinking about that. No matter how many times that I tried to think about that, NO, something so complex as a human cannot be made simply from these 4 ingredients. You know what I expect it will be when these four ingredients are mixed together? Yes, MIXED! Not heating them!

It will be just a gooey black substance.

Feldt: Euggh.

Author: Now you know.

Jasmine: But, author, you cannot say that the stories in there are not moralistic, can't you?

Author: Yes, the morals are there, but man, I simply cannot piece together them morals because you're not born from mother's womb in the first place. How am I supposed to be able to relate to you? Plus, you are already dealing with heavy, HEAVY mentally taxing horrors, as a FIVE YEAR OLD kid. How am I not supposed to NOT notice that? You know what I will do if I am THAT FIVE YEAR OLD KID?

Feldt: Relate? We're essentially humans in the first place, mate. Us looking like humans is not enough to you? You're right about the heavy mental horrors though.

Jasmine: Yeah, I'd agree. It just that Craig made up a myth about our birth, and yeah... the crews really played with us. They are not joking. That's really it. Ohter than that, we're on good relations with the crew.

Author: I appreciate your insights. Now, moving the 'birth story' out of the picture, you still came out of nowhere. That's the ultimate stretch. Are you being born from, like, natural materials, like, Adam? You seemed to be it. If this is how it is. I am fine. Just tell this Professor Utonium that "No, Professor, we came from THE Author's fantasy." There, clickety-clack. Now rods are moving.

Now, no longer do I have to worry why you have all these inconsistencies, and why you look like a plush doll, and why your birth is questionable, because you are there by the whim of THE Author.

Feldt: What?

Mir: That sucks.

Jasmine: Wait, so you tell us that our life is just a lie and we are a lie, and imposter-imposers?

Author: YES! Hey, for this fact I am in solidarity with you. Come to think of it, it's not just you. I am coming from the whim of THE Author. It's just that when you can see pictures of me throughout the years, you can see the very gradual process of growth. Why I am a baby in the first place? Why, they had some advantages. First, the size of baby is really compact, so moms all over the world can still stand and walk, and still can live. Secondly, babies don't need much, so moms all over the world, so babies can still exist with moms without eating too much. Now, see the interrelationship? Try to imagine an adult living in mother's womb. That will be disasterous. Not only moms have to spend too much time and energy just feeding, moms will be sitting painfully in bed, with their womb triple the size, and think about all that in terms of economy. Look how will be the rice paddies and gardeners suffer from low supplies? An increase of 0.1% of total food taken from one person, TIMES 2 million persons, and you got a recipe for constant production pressure. Not to mention the houses. A room will be triple the size, perhaps. Think of this small world. Any larger and we will suffer from tiredness. Can we REALLY survive being a wanderer for too long a distance? If yes, can you expect to find food in the vicinity of the land where water is scarce and too much at the same time? What about air density? Would the air density had to be higher, causing the space-time curvature to actually causing our eyes to see the world as a curved place and not actually give the impression of straight, where from there we can make steel rulers and straight cuts safely because we do not have to bother with adding compensatory calculus-y formulas to 'bounce' the curvature back to its 'straight' ones that we can extend for the rest of our lives?

Mir: WHAT?

Feldt: (jaw drop) Author, that's a LOT to take in!

Jasmine: Yeah! Really that's gonna happen, author? That... ... ... is... ... ... just... ... ... not good to hear.

Author: Now you know.

Now, on to the next issue that I have: Putting 'big issues' in an already wonky premise. You see, I like Gary Curtis's stories of Powerpuff Girls, in particular, that goes by the name of 'Crock Market' but MAN, he sticks to that unicorn-y stuff in the canon, like levitation, Superman glide-flying, and even retains its overall plush doll cuteness of your own impressions. Add to the overtly realistic United States, like Pentagon, and stock market, and it just becomes a mess, an illogical world having connections with the world filled with logic. The result? It's like when you dump sawdust into a cooking of yours. No- just think of them as seasoning, what do you get? Yes, you get a concotion, but please, don't be so on the surface. Dig deeper. You will say that this is a recipe for stomach ache. I wanted to say 'garbage' just now, but maybe I cannot utter it maybe because it is derogatory, and really, the ingredients are not plastic, petroleum, leatche, and carcass. It's edible food, edible seasoning, with a LOT of sawdust. SAWDUST! Can you eat sawdust?

I also have seen other fan-fics that retains this unicorn-y stuff. Just now I have read something along the lines of Buttercup and Butch making out together, and the little pebbles around them levitate! WHAT! LEVITATE! If only they are more grounded in reality!

Feldt: You sounded hysterical.

Author: Yes, I'm quite hysterical there. You are worst when you are typical antsy Americans. Always want to rush through things. Can't you give thoughts some time to sort out themselves? Maybe meet them other thoughts so that they can talk to each other. You just keep barricading them into their own cells, man. You did not even let them discuss their problems with each other. COME ON, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT, BECAUSE NOT THINKING THINGS THROUGH IS JUST LAZY.

Feldt: Oh yeah, OH YEAH? What about you? What about you then? You didn't ALWAYS obey your father and your mother, then? At least we do, for YOUR record!

Author: Damn! Thanks for reminding!

Feldt: Pssht! You ALWAYS said that!

Author: Well, your job is done, Feldt, now I have to do, and I wished I'd do it just to obey them for the sake of THE Author. That's it, really.

(sighs)

Now on to the next... one:

Now here's how this 'needles in the haystack' state of conception comes on. This can be used to detect anything in your accumulated philosophies in religion, finance, shopping, living, science, and anything regarding Earth and the universe in its entirety that brimmed with unreality because there are some 'switches' that had been 'flipped in the wrong place'. If you understand the paradoxes and confusions in philosophies in, say, Christianity, for example, the conception of Holy Trinity, or as of mine in Islam, 'should I do my prayers first or get to get the fallen branch on the road off the road first?' or 'should I prioritise THE Author's words or Muhammad's words, or just think of them as equals?' Now I don't want to look too technically, like 'of course X is true, because there is proof that X is true', the fact is that 'how it will affect life within me?' Now, here's a gem philosophy of Muhammad's that I recommend. His (whispers) peace be upon him (end whisper) philosophy on his very mission is 'how can I get to save everyone from Hell from Adam's time to the end of time.' That.. when I hear this one, it shot straight to my heart, and I am glad for it. I'll stay with it.

Now, now, don't just go and picked haystack just because you claimed I said, 'take out all those that bug you in this haystack'. I said, "Take out all needles in haystack."

Now, here's what I'm gonna do, with respect to Powerpuff Girls, like, how I am going to handle the canon in my head? Gonna keep everything, but everything rearrangd.

Number one: I will discard the entire story of Powerpuff Girls birth and let them be at orphanage and Professor got much attracted to them. Professor takes back home. They are test subjects, given that Professor likes to experiment, and has a homemade laboratory at the back or at the garage, because is basement too much?. On advice of them doctor, Professor give them some supplements, known to everyone as Chemical X. The reason the title is given Chemical X is for safety purposes. Now, what Chemical X will do is just to increase intelligence tenfold. Nothing else. Flying? They can learn to fly an aeroplane. Levitating? NO. Training? Martial arts. Intelligence? Books and coversations with Professor. Playmates? Other classmates and neighbours. Him? As the true invisible Devil.

When Professor ask about where do you came from, Blossom, say to him that: "...well, they story that we are told is that someone born us triplets, and then we are dumped. Luckily someone saves us in time. Back then we were homeless, got caught by 'asking for money' syndicate, got out with the help of police, put in orphanage." When asked about who is that 'someone', them kids said, "We don't know."

Number two: As for monsters etc. they will do almost all jobs on crimes. It is only once in a blue moon that some kind of wildlife appears and attacks the populace due to some development that destroys the habitat of them place.

Number three: It's a show about child prodigies, the 'thing' about knowledge, law and order, knowing where to not go overboard, war stratergies and tactics, moral complexities, parenting methods, and how to be a part of society.

Well, that's about it.

Mir: ... ... ... WOAH.

Jasmine: I like your idea!

Feldt: (jaw drops)

Author: You sure? I don't like propagandaists.

Jasmine: Yes, it's a really solid idea.

Author: Well, thank you, Jasmine. I'll relay it to THE Author. Anyways, enough note for now. Until next time, we hope to see you again. Peace to all of you!

Jasmine: Byyyye!

Feldt: See you again, maybe!

Mir: BYYYYE!

The End.


THE SERIES IS COMPLETE

The objective of this series is to highlight the personality of Blossom, Buttercup, Bubbles, Prof. Peter and other characters, where appropriate, in a deeper light than their stereotypical representations.

I hope that we will meet each other again soon. If Allah wills.

With care and consideration,
Abdul Qayyum