Disclaimer: - This story is about Sirius Black committing suicide, I do not own any of the following characters.
Please review guys…
No one could ever imagine that he would do something like this. Well, he was a marauder and probably the most headstrong. His friends didn't imagine he would even think of something like this.
That day they all remember was the most horrific in their lives, but Sirius Black waves it off casually. Well it had happened only two years ago but the memory still haunts the three marauders and they still scowl at the animagus for his stupid actions.
"I don't know what the hell were you thinking Pads?!" shouted James at Sirius in the common room.
"Shut the bloody hell up!You told Snape how to get past the willow, for Merlin's sake! He could have died and Remus would have been executed!" Snarled James.
"I know and I'm sorry" Sirius hung his head in shame, not able to meet eyes with his best friend.
"Oh, you are SORRY. You are just like the rest of your family, Black-cold, ruthless, power-hungry and evil. I can't believe I even became your friend!" When James said this Sirius looked at him in shock and a single tear streaked down his stormy-grey eyes. James also winced at this remark, he had not meant it. Sirius was nothing like his family, he rebelled against them and always tried to look different from them, but clearly he didn't show it.
"You're pathetic, Black-never speak to me again!" James added coldly and stormed away from him, leaving a broken Sirius behind him.
Days had passed and the three marauders hadn't even looked at Sirius. He tried desperately to make amends with them but they ignored him. He had put their friend's life in danger, how could they forgive him for that?
One day in the common room…
"Black I told you to stay away from me!" James shouted as he came thundering into the common room with Sirius behind him. It killed him to talk like this to his best friend, but he couldn't forgive his mistake. He had crossed the line.
"James Please-" Sirius called him out desperately as he placed a hand on his shoulder but he shook it off vigorously.
"Black, I am telling you the last the time to stay the hell away from us!"
"James I'm sorry-"
"Your sorry don't make it alright."
"But it's all I can offer."
"And like I said, it doesn't make it okay." James snarled at him.
Sirius looked over at Remus and hung his head in sorrow.
Remus obviously felt bad for him, he knew he didn't do it willingly but he had risked lives.
"James-" Remus began.
"No Moony, he has gone too far now, we can't forgive him." James responded to him coldly.
Sirius didn't even look up and said, "Please, mate I can't live without you guys-"
"I am sorry but you should leave us alone now" James snapped over his shoulder.
Sirius lifted his head up and said, "I understand why you don't want to forgive me, it was a far too big mistake I made. But know this, I love you -you have been my best friends and brothers. I just hope it didn't have to end this way."
He wiped his face with his sleeve and headed out of the portrait hole.
The next day, Sirius was sitting in the common room alone by the fire with his head in his lap, his eyes red and puffy. He lifted his head as he heard someone enter the common room through the portrait hole.
"Oh hey Pete" he greeted the chubby boy, although he didn't expect an answer but was surprised when he did.
"Hey Pads" He added and smiled slightly at him.
He did not want to ask him this question but it slipped off his mouth almost instantly.
"How do you do it Peter?"
"Do what?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"Handle being ignored by us. We didn't even talk to you-yet you still stuck with us. But, it kills me to not be able to talk to you guys."
"Whoa pads. I can handle it because I am used to being ignored everywhere. And I know how you feel, but sorry I don't think we can forgive you for what you did to Moony."
Sirius rubbed his eyes and added, "I know-and I don't expect you too. Just know that I am really-really sorry." Then he got up and rushed out of the portrait hole.
Present day… (Two years later, when they are 19 years old…)
"You were completely mental! Even thinking something like that gives me shivers!" James snarled at Sirius with an arm draped over Lily.
"Well I didn't have much to live for then, did I?" He mock-glared at James.
"Yeah you just had to scar us for life." Remus and James both piped up.
Sirius just laughed and put his arms on their shoulders.
Back to two years later…
Sometimes the marauders say that they wish they hadn't gone back up and see the sight but then again, if they hadn't it would probably have been very late.
Sirius didn't know what to do; he had lost everything…just because of this stupid mistake. He cursed himself and was trying his best not to shout in agony.
There was only one way to escape the pain, he thought.
Yes he would do it; it was the only way…
But first, he took out three different pieces of parchment and wrote a letter to each of the marauders. Saying he was sorry and to not consider this their fault, but his own choice.
With the letters in hand his made his way to the bathroom. He laid down the letters at the edge of the tub and then, fully clothed got into the bathtub. He took out a tiny silver blade from his pocket and stared at it. He took a deep breath to stop himself from shaking and brought the blade to the nerves of both his hands one-by one. Then he dropped it and dropped his hands in the tub. No sooner it had started turning red when Sirius lost consciousness and his tears stopped.
They wouldn't even have found him, if James didn't go back to the common room to get his charms essay. He walked through the portrait hole and up the boy's staircase. As he found his essay on his bed and was about to head out, he saw light red water coming from the washroom. He looked at it in horror and realized that he hadn't seen Sirius this morning in the great hall. He rushed to the door and shouted, "Sirius! If you're in there, open the door!"
No sooner he shouted Alohomora when the door opened and he saw Sirius lying in the bathtub, filled with crimson water and his wrists gushing blood at an alarming rate. He couldn't breathe anymore; he couldn't see his best friend like this… This was just a dream, right? When he snapped into realization, he let out a roaring scream that must have echoed all around the castle.
He shouted, 'SIRIUS! NOOOO, PADFOOT! WAKE UP, DAMN IT! YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!"
He got Sirius out of the bathtub and laid him on the floor with his head on his lap. No sooner, people gathered along with all the professors, even Dumbledore was there. They all were terrified with shock but James wouldn't let anyone in. Them McGonagall told other students to disperse only allowing Remus and Peter who were both shocked and crying. Then Dumbledore came past McGonagall who was dabbing her eyes and bent down to look at Sirius.
Dumbledore also appeared to be in shock…
He took Sirius's hand and examined it. Then his eyes widened and he said, "He's still alive!"
James then said, still crying, "Then Professor, do something!"
Everyone looked at him with a ray of hope in their eyes. Dumbledore took out his wand and muttered an incantation, Vulnera senuntor and everyone watched as the blood turned back into Sirius's wrists through the cut.
"Sirius?" Remus said expectantly.
When nothing happened for a few minutes they lost hope but then Sirius started breathing again and moved his eyes a little. Everyone shouted with relief and James, Remus and Peter all bent down to hug him still crying except now they were tears of joy.
Then Dumbledore calmly added, "Professor McGonagall please have Black sent to the hospital wing immediately. I may have healed his injuries but he still has lost blood and apparently still unconscious. The professor nodded and Sirius was carried to the hospital wing. After almost a week, the three marauders were allowed to visit Sirius.
They entered the hospital wing and saw him on the second last bed with his wrists bandaged up, reading a magazine. There were a ton of potions around him and he seemed bit pale but alive. They walked over to him wearing no emotion on their faces and arms folded across the chest.
Sirius noticed them and immediately put his magazine down. He stared at them with guilty eyes and said, "Hey Guys" smiling slightly.
The three marauders exchanged a few glances and looked back at Sirius. James and Remus took out thick stacks of newspapers from behind their backs and walked over to Sirius. Without warning, they started hitting him everywhere and he received most blows from James.
"Hey! Hey! What're you-Ow!" Sirius exclaimed and put his hands above them as he tried to shield himself.
"You complete arse, BASTARD-SIRIUS BLACK!" James shouted still smacking him.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking of Sirius!? Remus shouted.
"What- Ow! Stop hitting me-" Sirius said with a muffled voice.
"What did I do?"
"You Cut your WRISTS OFF! You TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF and ask what you did!?" James shouted at him, gritting his teeth.
"If it wasn't for Dumbledore, you would be dead!" Remus snarled at him.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to-" he hung his head in shame.
"Sorry?! Do you have any idea what you put us through?!" James shouted.
"You have no idea, Pads-we thought we lost you." Remus added with tears forming in his eyes.
Sirius's face flashed with guilt and he added, "I am sorry, guys-but I couldn't think of anything else, I told you I couldn't live without you and I was feeling so ashamed of myself, I didn't know what else I'd do-"
Before he could complete his sentence he was pulled into a hug by James and he felt hot tears on his shoulder which meant he was crying.
"James, mate, please don't cry."
"Pads, I am sorry for not being there. When I saw you like that, it killed me. But, if you even try to think of doing such a thing again, I will personally kick your face in." His eyes were fierce which showed that he wasn't joking.
"I promise I won't do it again. So does this mean I'm forgiven?" He looked up expectantly at James and Sirius.
They both exchanged looks and then Remus spoke airily, "Well I guess we have to, but don't think you're completely forgiven. This is just to ensure you don't do such a thing again."
Sirius then pulled an annoyed face and then Remus laughed-so did James and joined in on the hug. Sirius then smacked them both on the heads, but they didn't stop laughing.
The marauders were back again…
"Hey Pads, Moony told me you were crying loads when you thought I was dead." Sirius said to James while smirking.
He shot a glare to Remus and turned to Sirius, "Well I did cry but not so much, not like Remus here. His tears could have filled to buckets!"
"As if!" Remus scoffed.
"Well you did cry right Prongsie" Sirius said as he started getting up from his chair to avoid getting a smack. But James turned red and started chasing him around the house. Remus put his head in his hands hiding the ghost of a smile as Lily shouted at them both.
These were their most treasured times…