Yoon had been with the Dark Dragon and the Happy Hungry Bunch – as they liked to call themselves – since the start, so he had seen his fair share of development and drama. Perhaps the most irritating thing in the group – that not even their crazy death survival missions could compare to – was their romantic tension. It drove Yoon crazy! He was the mother of the group, as the rest of them liked to say so he got to see the most. It was worse because most of them were idiots.
Yona and Hak kept dancing around each other even though both of them seemed to notice that the other saw them in a way they didn't before. Yoon did feel sorry for Zeno though when Zeno would cry in his sleep or talk to the night sky when he thought he was alone about some girl named Kaya. Yoon guessed that was the wife he had told them all about.
But the ones that annoyed Yoon the most were Jaeha and Kija. Kija seemed ridiculously oblivious to Jaeha's advances even though even Shinah and Yona seemed to know what was going on. But whenever something completely normal would happen like Jaeha catching Kija before he fell into a bug filled hole or passing Kija his bowl of food at dinner, Kija's eyes would dart around and he would look flustered and red and for fifteen minutes after would keep sneaking glances at Jaeha. Jaeha on the other hand seemed to really love teasing Kija and it was no surprise when Kija would break down the tree Jaeha was sitting on while snickering at Kija. It was like Jaeha was a little child trying to catch his crush's attention by stealing his crush's candy.
The reason why Yoon hated dealing with them was because it often ended up with him having to fix holes in clothes after a fight between Jaeha and Kija or having spilt food or worse, Kija coming to him to complain about Jaeha and Jaeha sitting next to him to talk about 'how cute Kija kun is when he gets angry'. Yoon was not a couple counsellor!
Yoon walked into the tent all the men had been sharing since it was cold and walked into to see Kija throw a bag at Jaeha's face. Kija's face was flushed. Hak and Yona had gone hunting for lunch, Shinah and Ao had gone to get fresh water and Zeno was gathering more wood for their fire. Jaeha and Kija were the only ones who hadn't been given jobs and Yoon had just come to tell them what to do. But it seemed like he had come across another one of their fights. Yoon sighed and was about to threaten them with taking away their food if they fought when Kija shouted loudly.
"How could you violate me while I was sleeping?!" Kija clenched his fists and Yoon's jaw dropped. Now wait a minute, Zeno had just left camp and Jaeha and Kija had been up at the break of dawn, meaning Jaeha must have done something while they all were sleeping. Yoon felt horror fill him. He had been sleeping right next to Kija.
"You didn't refuse." Jaeha shrugged nonchalantly. Yoon's eyes whipped back to Kija's scarlet face. Kija turned even redder.
"I was half asleep!" Kija hissed. "You had no right to do that!" Yoon turned to look back at Jaeha. Jaeha sighed.
"Like I said, you looked at me straight in the face and said 'go ahead'. How was I supposed to know you were still dreaming, Kija kun?" Jaeha held out his hands in a gesture of helplessness. Yoon wanted to walk out and bleach his brain but he was so shocked he was still frozen solid.
"I can't believe this! That was the first time that's happened to me!" Kija screeched loudly. "You will pay, you hentai dragon!" Kija launched himself at Jaeha with his claws ready to attack. Yoon let out a cry of surprise and finally managed to move out of place and out the tent just as Jaeha leaped out, cackling wildly, Kija following.
"Oi, you stupid beasts! Stop this!" Yoon yelled. "Let's just try and talk this through, please!"
"Huh? What's wrong with them?" Hak asked as he came into camp, helping Yona drag a boar in with Zeno and Shinah following with the firewood and water. Yoon turned to look at them with doom on his face as tree after tree crashed down and Jaeha kept laughing and Kija kept screaming.
"Kija says Jaeha violated him in his sleep." Yoon deadpanned.
Five pairs of eyes widened – Ao's included.
"So, droopy eyes finally broke." Hak said in an all knowing voice.
"He finally broke." Zeno and Yona echoed.
"This is not the time to talk about their sexual tension like this! Go and stop them before the entire of the Sky Tribe realizes we're here!" Yoon snapped.
"Hai, hai, mother!" Hak, Yona and Zeno chorused.
"Pukyuu!" Shinah and Ao lined up next to them and then they went in the direction of Jaeha and Kija. Fifteen other slayed trees and twelve destroyed bird nests later Yoon shouted angrily at Jaeha and Kija. Yona, Hak, Zeno, Shinah and Ao busied themselves with the tasks Yoon gave them.
"Think of the consequences before you start fighting! We aren't that far from Kuuto!" Yoon snarled. "I don't care what you two did last night or who started it or who didn't want it! Next time you guys think of starting a fight think of the meals I will force you to skip!" Yoon huffed angrily, shaking two angry fists at them. He turned around ready to get lunch preparations started when another thought popped into his head. He turned back to them. "I'm not done yet!"
"Hai!" Jaeha and Kija sat straight.
"If you both really want to get that touchy feely at night get far away from camp!" Yoon snapped.
Both of them blinked blankly at him for a second. Then Jaeha grinned sinisterly and Kija blushed all the way down to his neck.
"Understood, mother!" Jaeha smirked.
"What do you mean 'understood'?" Kija shrieked. It almost looked like there was steam coming from his ears. "Why would I ever get touchy feely with you? Why would you ever want to get touchy feely with me? What do you mean by 'understood'?!"
"Well, he did violate you and all that." Hak waved his hand covered in boar blood around helpfully.
"I said that because last night when he fed me while I was half asleep he fed me the bugs too instead of picking them out!" Kija shouted.
Yoon, Hak, Yona, Zeno, Shinah and Ao gaped at Jaeha and Kija.
Well it was true, when Kija was fast asleep it was a nightmare trying to wake him up. Everyone took turns feeding him his dinner when he did fall asleep early because he ate even when asleep. Yoon heaved a large sigh and then slapped his palm against his face and dragged it down in exasperation.
"Don't say such misleading things, you idiot Hakuryuu." Yoon deadpanned. Yoon turned away. "Ugh, now I'm feeling really annoyed. Are you telling me that that much destruction was because of a couple of bugs in your stew? Is that so? Well then, I'll just put more bugs in your food. Oi, stupid Ryokuryuu! I'm really irritated right now, if you want your lunch, grab that idiotic Hakuryuu and kiss him." Yoon glanced at the now cleaned boar.
"Roger!" Jaeha yelled.
"Wait, what? No!" Kija screamed.
"I give up on the sanity of the rest of my life." Yoon muttered.
A/N - This actually happened to one of my friends in real life. When she told me about it I couldn't stop laughing and I knew I had to write a Jaeki fanfiction for this.