The Merlin Files
compiled by Jennifer Graham

Most information I have has been passed on by now. To Arthur, so that he became the man and King that he is today. To Nimuë, so that she may carry on for me when I truly die. But there is one thing that I have kept locked away in the most secret corner of my mind. There is one thing that no one in Britannia knows save myself. There is one thing I have sworn on my life never to tell a single soul until the day that I die.

That day is coming. I can feel it in my bones, and in my mind. By the time this tale is finished, I will have slipped far enough from the world of the living that the day will come soon after. And when I do exit from the wings from which I watch, then this tale will come to light, and my promise will still be kept. Yes, the infallible, great, powerful Merlin will die. But not before this tale is told.
-From Merlin's private writings

"And all the time, on all my travels, I learned smatterings of strange tongues, and heard new songs and new music, and saw strange gods worshipped, some in holy places, and some in manners we would call unclean. It is never wise to turn aside from knowing, however the knowing comes...So the years passed, and I used my freedom in travels which I have told of in other places; there is no room for them here. For me they were rich years, and lightly borne, and the god's hand lay gently on me, so that I saw all I asked to see."
-Excerpt from Mary Stewart's The Hollow Hills

It all happened so fast, I had no idea something had started. One moment I had dropped off to sleep, the next I was on the ground entangled with a screaming woman. For a few wonderful seconds, I reveled in the dream, until I realized that I was in quite a bit of pain and the girl wasn't screaming for pleasure-not to mention that we both had our clothes on.

"Dnoifn wdmvn fmjo fnwo off owf miew!"she screamed loudly.

I quickly disentangled myself from her no matter what she had said. I could discern a word or two, but that was it. She calmed down when she realized that I was in no shape to hurt her; I was scared out of my wits, in fact.

"Who are you? Where am I?" I tried, but she just shook her head and spoke some other unintelligible words.

I pointed to myself and said, "My name is Merlin." She frowned, so I tried again. "I am Merlin."

"Merlin?" she asked, pointing to me.

I nodded, then pointed to her.

"Mfoe nogiwx Jamie," she said. "Jamie."

Feeling utterly stupid and embarrassed, I nevertheless made sure we were absolutely clear on the subject of names. Pointed to me. "Merlin." Pointed to her. "Jamie."

She did the opposite, still looking like she wanted to bolt. I wondered why she didn't; after all, she had every right to. I wouldn't have blamed her if she had, because I wanted to do the same thing. I might have, if she hadn't been my only chance of survival in the world around me. Finally, after seeming to have decided on an appropriate course of action, Jamie held out her hand and gestured for me to follow her.

I did, not quite knowing what to expect. At the moment, we were in surroundings familiar to me, trees, grass, dirt.
Unfortunately, that soon changed as she led me out into a world full of tall box-shaped buildings, whizzing objects, and unnaturally colored ground. I gazed around in astonishment for awhile, then tried to ask the girl next to me where we were by shrugging my shoulders.

She apparently got the message, saying, "New York City."

I tried the words out, "New York City?"
amie nodded enthusiastically, drawing me further into New York City. But when she tried to pass through the whizzing object, I refused to go on. Was she out of her mind? We would probably die, and then where would Arthur be? But I didn't want to seem ungrateful, so I asked her where we were going by shrugging, pointing to us, and pointing across to the tall buildings.
In response, Jamie pantomimed a roof over her head. I guessed she meant that she was taking me to her home, so I reluctantly allowed her to drag me across the odd road when the hanging object turned red.

She muttered some other intelligible words as we were crossing, then yanked me hard as I was nearly hit by one of the objects. Oops. She shouted at me angrily, pointing at her eyes, then just sadly shook her head. Jamie beckoned once more, leading me further into the belly of the beast.

She made the "house" sign again in front of a large structure, leading me into it. I wondered if she were incredibly rich to own such a large dwelling, but decided she wasn't because she wore men's clothing as if she couldn't afford a dress. Then I decided that she might have a reason for not wearing a dress, but I couldn't fathom why. I was distracted for a second by the building techniques. They were completely amazing! They seemed to use triangles, which were probably much stronger, considering the building's size. I filed that away in a corner of my brain to use when needed for Arthur.

Inside, I found myself surrounded by luxury that surpassed even my father Ambrosius Pendragon's castle. The girl led me into a doorway, then pressed a marked circle.

I shouted the name of every god and goddess I knew as the "room" started to move. Jamie touched me, tried to comfort me, but I backed away into a corner, I'll confess, like a scared animal.

Amidst my plea, the girl just rolled her eyes disrespectfully and grabbed my arm, pulling me along as I stumbled along blindly, still shocked to the bone. But when she tried to lead me into another room, I came to my senses and refused to go in, shaking my head no. Jamie just sighed, slipped behind me, and pushed me in. I must have hit something then, because my world faded into blackness...
-From Merlin's private writings

Dear Callie,

Hey, how ya doing, all that jazz, and so forth. Listen, don't freak out on me, but I've got to tell someone about this, or I'm going to go nuts. I was walking in Central Park, as usual, when this guy just kind of falls on me. Just like that! He was wearing really weird clothes, like the kind you see at medieval fairs, he couldn't speak English, and he was as scared as I was (I think, anyway). So what did I do? I took him home with me. I can just see myself telling mom "He followed me home, can I keep him?" Good thing she's out of town for the month. I've got to figure out something to do with him by the time she gets home, or there's going to be major hell to pay.

I can tell that he's not from around here. I mean, he freaked out when I took him on the elevator. He had no idea what cars were, he was fascinated by the surroundings, he obviously thought my apartment building was really luxurious. Right now the poor guy's passed out on the couch; I was kind of a little violent. He wouldn't get into the room, so I pushed him and he hit his head on the table. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a concussion, but he hasn't woken up yet. Mostly, I think he passed out from shock (which I'm going to do if I'm not careful). Oh, yeah, and his name is Merlin. You know, like from Camelot and King Arthur and Guinevere? Isn't that a weird name? Maybe his parents had an obsession with Arthurian legend or something. Well, he seemed to think my name was almost as weird, so I shouldn't talk.

I wonder what he's doing here. He fell from the sky, or at least it seems that way. What am I supposed to do? I can't keep him here forever; mom would kill me. Maybe I can commit him or something. But, then again, that wouldn't be quite fair. He seems normal, not insane or anything, just a little disoriented. And handsome. I wish I knew what to do!! Any suggestions? Please, I'm desperate here! Write back, really soon, or call me, or something. I need some answers.
Jamie -A letter from Jamie to her sister Callie

"How are you feeling?" (Jamie)

"Good." (Merlin)

"Here's some food. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, thank..."

"You. Thank you."

"Thank you. What is it?"

" dog."

"You cook dogs?"

"No, that's just a term!!!"

"What is in hot dog?"

"Trust me, you do not want to know. Just eat it."

"Why do I not want to know?"

"Trust me on this one, okay?"

"On what one?"

"Never mind, just eat it. It won't kill you."

"It is good. Where am I?"

"You are in my apartment. Actually, it isn't mine. It's my mom's. I live with her right now."

"What is 'apartment?'"

"A big building with lots of little homes inside of it."

"Little homes? That is odd. Where is your mother?"

"She is away on a trip."

"With your father?"

"Mmm, no."

"A woman is traveling unescorted?!"

"Relax, Merlin. She can take care of herself."

"As long as you are sure..."

"I'm sure, Merlin, but thank you for being concerned. So, where did you come from?"


"Britannia? Where's that?"

"I do not know."

"Here, look at this map."

"Britannia is here."

"That's now called England, Merlin."

"What year is this?"

"Year? It's the year 1968!"

"Jamie, my time is many years before this."

"What?!! You're from the past?"

"Yes, and I live for Arthur, who will soon be king."

"You really are Merlin from Arthurian legend? You're a real person?"

"Yes, I am here in front of you." (Merlin)

"I think I'm going to pass out now." (Jamie)
-Excerpt from a dialogue between Jamie and Merlin

Poor Jamie. I finally broke the news to her about where I came from, and she fainted. I guess the trouble could have been averted, but how was I to know she had such a weak constitution? I'm surprised she believed me, actually. In her position, I'm not sure I would have believed myself. Though she does seem to have a firm grip on reality...

This is my first chance to write since I've met her. First I hit my head, then I had to learn most of her language (which was not to hard, considering there are many semblances between our two languages), and after, I told her where I was from. Then she fainted, and now I am writing.

Oh, gods, I am so confused. I was happy, living my life, working for Arthur. The birth had occurred, the boy was growing up in safety, and I was nearly ready to return and start Arthur's tutoring. This is the time when he will need me most. I had Galapas; he taught me most of my magic skills, and Arthur shall have me as his guide. I will teach him to read, and to write, and I shall tell him stories of glory and despair and hope...

But how can I do all that when I am here, in the year 2000?!! What am I supposed to do? I cannot just pretend that this is happening for a reason and treat it as an adventure. I would surely do that if it were any time but now...any time but then? Arthur needs me! And I need him, too. My life is without meaning without Arthur. Why me? Whichever god has placed me on the path to make Arthur a king is surely playing a cruel trick now, not allowing me to walk on it. How do I help Arthur, if I am stuck here?! I suppose the best thing to do is watch and learn. Oh, she's waking up now...

-Excerpt from Merlin's private writings

I came to very slowly, throwing my arm over my eyes and groaning, "Oh, man do I feel sick." Merlin's concerned face swam into view. I wanted to pass out again.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, obviously concerned. What a dumb question.

"No, of course I'm not okay," I replied, probably a bit to harshly. "I just said I was...oops, sorry," I told him afer I was done being sick.

"I do not mind," he replied.

"What happened?" I wondered. The last thing I remembered was...wait a second. Best not to think about that crazy story at the moment.

"You fainted," he told me.

I thought I had a stronger constitution than that. To save face, I retorted, "I do not faint."

Adding insult to injury, with a good dose of stupidity, he replied, "Yes you do. You did awhile ago."

Man, is this guy an idiot! "I passed out. Got it? Good. Now what time is it?"

"I don't know." He doesn't know. Oh, goody.

"Clock on the wall there," I said, pointing, as I tried desperately not to lose the little bit of patience I had left.

"I am sorry, Jamie, I see nothing that resembles a clock," he answered apologetically, making me feel bad that I wanted to rip his lungs out.

"Oh my god. Never mind." I tried to get up. "Oh no, the world is spinning."

"You shouldn't get up yet," he told me, managing to irritate me more.

"Damn it, Merlin. Couldn't you have told me that before I tried to get up?" I yelled, trying to make the world stop moving.

"I'm sorry." Two words were all it took to make me regret my actions.

"It's alright. I just feel dizzy and I have a major headache and-" I broke off, trying to identify what else I was feeling. Guilt? Nah.

"Do you have water?" he asked me, glancing around.

"There's a sink in the kitchen. But make sure you turn on the right faucet, because the left...Wait, this isn't making any sense to you, is it?" I said, judging from his bemused expression. "Here, help me up." I could tell he felt uncomfortable, but he gave me his arm and supported me as I swayed on my feet.

"You really shouldn't get up until I give you something," he protested weakly.

"I'm fine. Besides, if I have to take it with water, then I'm not taking it unless I have water, and that isn't going to happen unless I get it." I felt the words tumble out of my mouth, but I couldn't stop them in the fear that I would give away how sick I really felt.

With Merlin supporting me-I was almost hanging on him-we made our way into the kitchen. I filled a glass with water and gave it to him, after which he insisted on bringing me back to the den so I could lay down. He mixed some stuff together with the water, then gave it to me to drink.

"This is going to taste awful, isn't it," I stated, glaring in his direction. He shrugged apologetically. I braced myself, then tossed down the evil-looking liquid. I was right. "Yuck."

"Do you feel better now? Maybe you should get some sleep. You hit your head quite hard," he suggested.

My headache began to fade away, along with most of my annoyance at the young man. "I'm fine, and I'm not tired. Listen, Merlin, I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I really wasn't feeling well, and I was...umm...taking my anger out on you," I stuttered out. I had actually been nice to him for the past few weeks, as he was learning my language. Considering I didn't bother to learn his, it was a wonder he could put up with me.

"I don't mind," he told me, smiling slightly. Why was he being so nice? I had just blown up at him. That was actually one of the reasons I had decided to like him. He was nice and a really sweet guy. Most would probably just have taken advantage of me when I passed out, or left when I blew up. But not this one.

"Thank you for understanding," I told him gratefully, glad that no more need be said.

"If you will not go to sleep, will you let me tell you a story?" he asked, and winced at my expression. He used the wrong choice of words. Fortunately for him, I managed to force down my anger. After all, why would I want to harm the man that just made me feel a heck of a lot better? Besides, I kind of considered him a friend by then, especially since I had stopped feeling ill. So I decided to humor him.

"Sure, tell me a story. But make it a really interesting one, because I don't feel like falling asleep," I told him, trying to make my voice commanding and my look menacing. Merlin just smiled, and started telling me the most thrilling story I had ever heard in my life. It also happened to be the story of his life until then.

"The day my uncle Camlach came home, I was just six years old. I remember him as I first saw him, a tall young man, fiery like my grandfather, with the blue eyes and reddish hair that I thought so beautiful in my mother. He came to Maridunum near sunset of a September evening, with a small troop of men. Being small, I was with the women in the long, old-fashioned room where they did the weaving..." (The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart)

I listened, enraptured, as he deftly wove the story. Unfortunately, I was too tired to hear the end of it that night, and I believe I fell asleep. I woke to find myself under his watchful eye.

"Would you like to hear the end of the story?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes, please," I replied, feeling much better.

He continued, and as he brought the tale to a close, to the point at which he was now, I started feeling a sense of pity and respect towards him. In this new light, he started to look kind of cute...

-From a paper found in Jamie Endelson's apartment

Man Falls From Sky In Central Park

Yesterday, a man apparently fell from the sky in Central Park, New York City. He landed on a woman identified as Jamie Endelson. He shouted in a strange language, then was taken away by Ms. Endelson, and is currently at the apartment of Ms. Endelson's mother. When asked, Ms. Endelson refused to give any comment. However, Ms. Endelson's sister Callista Endelson says, "Jamie mailed me a letter a few days ago [stating that] a guy dropped on her from the sky that spoke a strange language and said his name was Merlin."

Merlin. A figure known well from the legends of King Arthur from Camelot. But who is this mystery man? Could he be an alien from outer space? Could he be a secret government spy? Could he be from the future? Could he be from the past? Could he be criminally insane? Could he be an escaped criminal? These are some of the many questions that must be raised. There is more to be uncovered in this story. Read next week's issue as we try to persuade Ms. Jamie Endelson to share her side of the story.
-Article from the National Inquirer

Computer-Box that shows objects and letters on what Jamie calls a "screen." Objects on the screen changes periodically. You can put words on the "screen" by using a "keyboard." Note: a "keyboard" is not a wooden board full of keys. It has buttons that you have to press to put letters and numbers on the screen. Note: never, ever, press the "Ctrl," "Alt," and "Delete" together twice. Jamie gets mad. The computer can be used to do many things, including playing many games and writing to people (more later). You need "electricity" to use a computer, which is a form or energy associated with moving electrons and protons. Whatever they are.

E-mail-This can be done on the computer. It is used to write to people who are far away. It is sent almost instantly, and is a great improvement over sending messages by horse. Unfortunately, you need a "cable connection" and the "Internet" and a "server" to have e-mail, none of which I understand and none of which we have. But very interesting, nonetheless.

Telephones-These are used to talk with people over long distances. Their voice is actually transmitted through the earpiece, and you talk through the mouthpiece. This, however, costs money. To call someone, you press a series of numbers. Note: Do not punch in random numbers because you could reach someone from a place called "Japan," and then Jamie gets mad because that costs a lot of money.

Television-This displays moving images, called "movies" or "tv shows." These display stories brought to life. You cannot touch the people on the screen. Do not even try. And if you are scared, do not throw something at the screen, because it is not real. If the Television does not work, you may kick it and then it "turns on." It is permitted to shout explicative terms at the screen if you do not like what is happening.

Star Trek-This is a "tv show" in which many odd people are on a "spaceship." They are traveling around in the sky, among the stars. This seems to be a fictitious show. There are many people, with odd names, like "Kirk" and "Mr. Spock" and "Doctor Bones" and "Scotty," who talks in a Scottish accent and is constantly commanded, "Beam me up, Scotty." The characters then blow up, and reappear in a different place. According to Jamie, this is a "very bad and cheesy tv show, but my dad got me hooked and I can't stop watching it." While watching, she enjoys criticizing the show and saying how stupid it is.

-Notes on new technology from Merlin's writings

...I don't know what to think. He's from hundreds and thousands of years in the past, yet I'm falling in love with him. Is this for real? How can I believe this crazy man?! Mom would kill me, and I'm surprised Callie hasn't locked me up yet. I don't know what to think. Actually, I'm pretty sure that the only thing that is keeping me from losing my mind is believing him. It just seems right, somehow. So here I am, pretending that all this is normal so I won't go insane. Maybe if I hold a grip on reality, I won't flip out. Yes, this is normal, Jamie. Sure, it's normal that a guy supposedly from the year 500 AD or whatever falls on top of you and you fall in love with him because he's just such a sweet guy. I feel like screaming and throwing a temper tantrum and breaking glass. But he's so nice and innocent and...Why am I falling in love with him? He's got to go back, eventually. Yet here I am, teaching him about my life, my world, my society, as if he was actually going to stay! Am I changing the past? Could I kill someone by telling Merlin about new technology? Am I changing the future? Will he invent something before its time? Was he really supposed to come here anyway? Are we stuck in a time loop? Is this just a crazy, delusional dream? Should I commit myself to an insane asylum? All these questions are just giving me a headache. But he was so kind, especially when I passed out on him like that, and he didn't even mind my anger. He's so understanding, and kind, and nice, and sweet, and...Jamie, get a grip on yourself. He's not in love with you, so don't even dream. He's got to go back to where he belongs, and you've got to find a way to do that for him. In the name of love...

-Excerpt from the diary of Jamie Endelson

Merlin, Man of Mystery

Who was Merlin? Now, all the mysteries are uncovered as we interviewed the man who fell from the sky and is now living with a woman named Jamie Endelson. Here is the transcript of the phone conversation you have all been waiting for:

National Inquirer: Where did you come from, Merlin?

Merlin: I came from Britannia, which Jamie has told me is now England.

NI: What do you mean, is now England?

M: This is not my time. I come from the past.

NI: Really. Could this possibly be a case of amnesia you are having from falling?

M: No, I really do come from the past. I am trying to return to help further the reign of King Arthur.

NI: Can you explain?

M: I am trying to help Arthur become King of Britannia by protecting him and teaching him the necessary qualities one needs to become a king. Unfortunately, I cannot do this here. If I do not return to the past, there is a chance that my plan will fail.

NI: Right, moving on. What do you think of Ms. Jamie Endelson?

M: She is a very nice person. If I must stay here, I would like to stay with her. She has been very helpful in teaching me
to fit in this time until I may return to my own.

NI: That is very interesting, Merlin. How do you like this time? What do you think of it?

M: There are many things different about this time. I like very much the "Television" and the "computer." But I have found that the people in this time like to pry into the lives of others.
Background: Merlin, who are you talking to?

NI: Who is that, Merlin?

M: Jamie.

JE: Hello, who is this please?

NI: This is the National Inquirer. We're trying to-
Jamie Endelson: What the h*** are you trying to do? Stay the f*** out of our lives!! I know what you're doing, you're trying to make Merlin look like a fool in front of the entire world!! D*** you, you prying busybodies!!! You try this again, and I'll sue!

Well, that did not go as well as we had planned, but we did get some information. The verdict? The man named Merlin most likely suffers from a mental illness, and should be hospitalized. But there may be another side to this story. It could be that Merlin is really an alien form outer space, and he has taken over the mind of Jamie Endelson. Or perhaps this is all in the mind of Jamie Endelson, and she is a schizophrenic. Merlin could even be telling the truth, and has come to the future to warn all of us of an upcoming catastrophic event. Jamie and Merlin could be in a government conspiracy to make us all believe in past events of history that never really happened. The world may never know, although it can always speculate. This could all be just one bad dream after another.
-Article from the National Enquirer

"Hello, Jamie." (Merlin)

"Merlin, that was really stupid." (Jamie)

"I apologize. I was not sure what they wanted."

"Oh, Merlin, you don't have to apologize. How could you know? But don't answer the phone again, okay?"

"I will not, Jamie."

"Good. Now how about dinner?"

Time Passes

"Where did you learn to cook like that, Merlin?"

"Well, I was often on my own, without a servant-"

"You've got servants? Wait, I forgot. Different times, different practices, right?"

"Correct. Jamie, do you you think that I will ever get home?"

" you really want to get home, Merlin? From what you've told me, some pretty bad stuff is happening around this time."

"I need to get home, Jamie. Arthur needs me."

"What about other people who need you?"

"I can't think of anyone other than Arthur. Jamie, Arthur is my life. This is what I have been waiting for. Soon, I will start to teach him, and then, after that, he will become king, and I will advise him, and Britannia will be made whole, as it was during my father, Ambrosius' time!"

"So, Arthur is your life, huh? You're pretty dense, you know."

"Dense? How so?"

"Never mind. What's so special about this Arthur, anyway?"

"Well, he is pure and innocent, and he will be a great king. He has excellent fighting skills, and I hear that he excels in all that he does. He can beat boys twice his age!"

"That good, huh. Even if someone else came along, you wouldn't leave Arthur. Even for love?"

"No, Jamie, I couldn't. It would be like leaving my life."

"I see. Goodnight, Merlin." (Jamie)

"Are you tired? I'm sorry, I didn't notice. Goodnight, then." (Merlin)

-Excerpt from a dialogue between Jamie and Merlin

"I do not know which god guides my hand, but your humble servant begs you to listen. You have thrown me into this time without any warning or reason. I am lost here, unable to fulfill the purpose which you yourself have given to me. Why take me away from Arthur at the most vital time? He will need me to teach him soon, I know, I can feel it. Please, let me return to help Arthur. He needs me. I need him. He is the purpose of my life, he gives me life. I would fade away if not for him. I do like this time, and the people...well, the person in it, but I need to go back for Arthur. I swear on my life never to speak of my experiences. Please, let me go home. Let me go home. Home..."

-Merlin's prayer

He's gone. He just disappeared last night. I guess he went home to his little Arthur, to make him King. I guess it had to happen, or we wouldn't be here today, living the life that we are. I guess I couldn't have been so selfish as to keep him with me forever. Then why do I feel so awful? Why do I feel as if a part of me has been taken away? Why, why, why? Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I'll never be the same. Why, Merlin? After all I did for you, why did you go and leave me? Why?...

-Excerpt from the diary of Jamie Endelson

I'm back home, back in my own time, back where I'm needed, back where I can do what I was destined to do. I feel it in my bones, the time will come soon. Arthur will need me, I will teach him what he needs to know. I wonder why I was sent into the future. Could it be to learn new things that will help Arthur, like the new building techniques? Could it be because a god committed an error and accidentally sent me forward in time? Could it be to make sure my story was told to someone? Yet...I will miss her. I remember the first time we met. The first scream. The concussion she inadvertently gave me. Her reaction when I told her that I was from the past. All our discussions over the strange objects in her time. Her eyes. Those sad looks she would give me when she thought I wasn't looking. Her voice, that betrayed her every feeling. The exasperation at me when I didn't understand or I committed and error in her eyes. The sigh that told me everything was alright. The talks until the middle of the night. Her caring. Her touch. Her love... No. I must forget all about her and what happened there. No one must ever know. I promised never to tell anyone, even to my deathbed. No. I won't think of her ever. But there was love...

-Excerpt from Merlin's private writings

Dear Callie,

Hey, how ya doing? Listen, I'm sorry if I scared you with my last letter; obviously, I wasn't thinking clearly. That man is gone. Turns out he had amnesia and he went back home to live with his family in England.

Callie, I had the best idea. I'm going to write novels under a pseudonym, Mary Stewart (and how did I get the name? Remember that friend I had, Mary, and that book, Stewart Little?). I'm going to write about Arthurian legend, except from the point of view of Merlin. Sounds cool, huh? But don't tell Mom just yet, okay? I'm not writing under a pseudonym for nothing...
-Excerpt from a letter from Jamie to her sister Callie

All these excerpts, articles, dialogues, and diary entries are fictional, excepting the excerpt from Mary Stewart's The Hollow Hills. This story is based on the Merlin Trilogy written by Mary Stewart. Jamie Endelson is a fictional character, and has no connection to Mary Stewart. Merlin is based on the Merlin in the Merlin Trilogy.
-Note from the person who compiled these documents