They're creepy and they're kooky
mysterious and spooky
they're all together ooky
and now they're seventeen-
Hey guys, welcome to my new Addams Family fic! I really wanted to write something during the fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving season, as well as write another Wednesday/Joel teenager fanfic, so here it is! I hope you all enjoy it!
"They're here, sir."
"Who's here, Ms. Harris?"
"Who else, Greg?"
The Dean massaged his temples, sighing in defeat. It's really become a weekly ritual. Somehow, in the most bizarre of circumstances, these three students always seem to stir trouble, "Send them in…"
The squeamish one stumbled into the office first. Joel Glicker. Although, he really shouldn't be so anxious about this visit to the Dean's Office, he's had to been issued at least two suspensions over the last semester, not to mention numerous detentions. A shame, really. He's a bright young man, raised by some very well-to-do, Jewish parents: the building blocks of model citizen; the perfect setup towards a prosperous life… But, like many other high schoolers before him, the boy made friends with the wrong people. Dean Greg Douglas really felt sorry for the guy.
Joel stood before Douglas' desk, waiting for his permission to sit. The Dean gestured to the chair across from him. Hastily, Glicker took his seat, and adjusted his glasses (which were quite big for his face).
Not long after, the second student stalked into the office, wearing her signature black dress. Her raven hair was currently hanging over her shoulders, wavy from the braids of the previous Thursday. She showed no fear toward the man in front of her, even smirking at the Dean as she took the chair next to Joel. Mr. Douglas frowned.
She was the leader of Oakview High's reckless trio, the master behind every scheme, the instiller of all things wicked (at least, at this school)… She was the one everybody feared, students and faculty alike. Dean Douglas sighed once more as Ms. Harris, his secretary, closed the door behind them.
The Dean of students took of his glasses, visibly tired from a long day of playing solitaire and writing fake memos, "Where's the third one?"
"Pugsley?" Wednesday chuckled to herself, "They finally got him…"
"He's in juvy, Greg."
Douglas leaned back into his chair, grabbing the bottle of aspirin from his drawer, "I told you before, Ms. Addams. You're to refer to me as Mr. Douglas."
"But we see eachother every week," She spoke in monotone, "I believe it's about time we skip the formalities."
He popped the aspirin into his mouth, not bothering to wash it down with water, "Just- Just tell me why they sent you here…"
Wednesday opened her mouth to speak, Mr. Douglas quickly stopped her, "Not you," He then pointed to Joel, "You. Information. Now."
Joel gulped, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He looked at the Dean, then back at Wednesday, who shrugged.
"Well… There- there may or may not have been an incident in the AP Bio lab…"
The Dean's face went white, "What kind of incident?"
Joel squirmed in his seat, he turned to Wednesday for support, she nodded for him to continue. He coughed nervously, "Well- We- We decided to- You know, because we finished our pig dissection anyway… We…"
Wednesday rolled her eyes, cutting him off, "We circumcised Mr. Wells."
Dean Douglas popped open the bottle of aspirin again, taking two more, "My God…" He whispered under his breath.
The two teenagers sat before him, quiet, allowing the man to take in the information. Mr. Wells was the AP and Honors Biology teacher at Oakview High. He's received multiple awards, national, even international, for his teaching abilities. It was an amazing honor for Oakview to obtain such a man to serve as their Biology professor.
Mr. Douglas then grabbed the school handbook, rapidly flipping through the pages.
"What are you doing?" Wednesday asked.
"Looking for our sexual-offense code… There's one for teachers against students, but not- Not the other way around…"
Joel twiddled his thumbs, "Am I going to- to juvy?"
Wednesday turned toward her quivering boyfriend, "Neither of us are going to juvy."
"I don't belong in prison! Prison is for scum! For lowlifes!"
Wednesday gave him a deadpan stare, Joel corrected himself, "Except for Puglsey."
"Anyways," Wednesday reminded him, "Nobody can prove what we did."
Douglas froze, looking up from the handbook, "Excuse me?"
"Mr. Wells passed. Nobody can prove anything."
The Dean's expression displayed pure horror, "You- You didn't-"
She smirked once again at Mr. Douglas, "You're right. We didn't. He passed out." She mumbled to herself, "Weakling…"
"Where is he now?"
"Still sitting at his desk, out cold," She responded, "Don't worry, he'll wake up thinking it was all a dream. He's been untied, everything has been cleaned, and the students won't dare talk… Well, except for one, hence this visit and all, but we took care of him."
Mr. Douglas needed no further information, he opened up another drawer, pulling out both Wednesday and Joel's disciplinary files, "Let's just see what the verdict will be then…" He started at the first offenses that have resulted in suspension, "Suspension #1, September 28th … Cause? Setting fire to the cafeteria."
Joel spoke up, "I was only smoking a cigar, I didn't think it would hurt anybody!"
A hint of a smile played on Wednesday's lips, remembering that day, "I know… That was why I put it in the lunch-lady's apron… A whole day without an injury? That should be a crime."
Douglas moved down the list, "Suspension #2, December 18th… Cause? Engaging in sexual intercourse inside an empty classroom…"
Wednesday shrugged, "It was more spacious than the janitor's closet…"
The Dean tried to ignore her comment, moving down the list again, "Alright, new semester… Suspension #1, February 14th… Cause? Replacing hamburgers with cow hearts in the lunch line."
"Cow hearts?" Joel asked his girlfriend, a little less timid around the Dean than when he first sat down, "The guy I got 'em from said they were the real deal… Damn it."
"Semester 2, Suspension #2, April 1st… Cause? Moving the corpses from the town morgue into the school library…" Dean Douglas shivered.
Wednesday tilted her head, "That one really is self-explanatory…"
"And that leads us to… Today," He wrote in the file, "Semester 2, Suspension #3, May 17th… Cause? Circumcision of a faculty member…" He looked back at the students, who sat innocently, "I don't know what else to do… Were you guys this much trouble at your past schools?"
"Yes." They both said, bluntly, not even bothering to think about their freshman and sophomore years.
He rubbed his temples again, "I really don't have any choice… Three suspensions in one semester amounts to expulsion…"
Joel sunk low into his chair. Wednesday shook her head, "There has to be some other way… Oakview was our last option for schooling. If we're expelled… I don't know what we'll do."
"What other choice do I have? You both have had so many chances to redeem yourselves" The Dean argued, "It's not like I can just make all of these suspensions go away."
"Actually, yes," She countered, "It's exactly like that. Now, I'm not one to beg for mercy, but do you think you can reconsider?"
Joel chipped in, "I can beg. I'll do anything, I swear."
Dean Douglas thought quietly to himself. It was definitely against school policy to get rid of the disciplinary history of students. But… But what if he could reverse it somehow? Give them a second chance? They don't deserve it (well, possibly Joel does)… But if he lets this one slide, they'll just go back to the same old routine. It was pointless.
Unless their last chance at redemption changes them. Could he possibly change the hearts of these hardened teenagers? Turn them away from the dark side?
Douglas looked around the room from his office desk. On the walls there were posters of past athletic victories, alumni news stories, and school pennants for each graduating class. By the door was another filing cabinet.
He got up and walked over to the cabinet. Each drawer was specifically labeled: Semester Grades, Quarter Grades, Athletic Info, Service Projects…
That could work, Service Projects… He opened the drawer, pulling out the most recent flyer of service. Mr. Douglas smiled, walking back to the desk.
"Alright. This is your last chance," Douglas looked them in the eyes, "In my hands, I hold a service project. Randomly chosen from my drawer. You can either chose to do the project, and possibly turn your behavior around… Or I can have you both expelled. What will it be?"
"The project!" Joel picked, before Wednesday could say anything to change the Dean's mind.
Douglas was satisfied with himself, and looked down at the flyer, "Okay…" He read the information on the paper, "You both will be working for a summer camp a couple of hours away from here… You'll be consolers… Basically a babysitting job."
"Oh, joy…" Wednesday muttered.
Mr. Douglas looked up at the clock, it was already 3:40, "I suppose you two should head back home… It's supposed to storm this afternoon." He handed Wednesday the flyer, "Good luck on your finals. I hope we don't meet again this year."
The bus was long gone before the two teens were excused from the Dean's office, which meant they had to walk back to the Addams' mansion in the rain.
"Dreary day…" Wednesday remarked as they approached the gate to her home.
Joel smiled, "Sure is," He looked down at her hands, spotting the flyer, "Hey, where did Douglas say the camp was at?"
"He didn't," She handed him the flyer, which the Dean had neatly folded before they left, "Take a look, I guess."
Joel unfolded the flyer, and silently read.
Service Summer, 1997: Oakview High
- Requirements: Students must be over the age of 16, and must have a valid source of identification (birth certificate, passport, drivers' liscence).
- Work Hours and Dates: 8:00 AM – 8:00 PM, June 21st – July 26th
- Location: Camp Chippewa
- Address: 147 Scottsman Road, Chippewa Bay, NY, 77340
- We hope to see you there!
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Next chapter should be out by next weekend (if I don't drown in homework)!