It's easier to love yourself, when yourself doesn't change, Tomie realizes. Men — people — are fickle. Destructive. Jealous. They've been that way since forever.
She's never had to apologize for being herself, and she wouldn't. She's not a good person.
(Nobody calls her a person, much to Tomie's chagrin.)
Tsukiko knew that about her from the start. It had been so many years ago, but Tomie remembers those stirrings of unrequited, longing feelings she harbored for her best friend. She loved Tsukiko, even when Tsukiko called her a demon, when she had two unfaithful boyfriends.
Reiko hesitated befriending her, because she didn't want any trouble. To steer clear from the new girl whom her classmates both feared and rejected. But she protected Tomie when it mattered, and helped her not feel alone. Even if she thought Tomie was a freak. Even if she cried for Tomie and didn't understand her.
Other girls hated her too. Some girls loved and adored Tomie, for her physical beauty and mystery. Girls like Miki and Chie, who intrigued Tomie with their devotion and compliments — but the eternal ticking of life marches forward, and they either died or forgot all about Tomie.
She doesn't want to be forgotten…
When all others did, Tomie had been there for her, nursing her back to health and promising her friendship. The daughter of another worthless man who obsessed and loved Tomie… he named his own daughter after her. Hashimoto Tomie — now known as Ann, in secreted whispers and bright, smiling gazes exchanged in their apartment. There can only be one Tomie. Ann happily does not protest switching her name and considers legal paperwork.
"Maybe I should be called Mary, hee hee," Tomie whispers, hugging and rubbing Ann's bare, slim arms.
It's an inside joke now and she giggles against Ann's neck, blowing raspberries and feeling the other woman squirm against her and cry out with a delighted, tiny squeal. Tomie doesn't need to bully her anymore.
She believes in no one, and depends on no one. It's been her vow for centuries.
But… with Ann.
Ann did not make her feel unloved. She helped ease Tomie's regeneration, feeding her soft peaches and cream when Tomie's face manifested from the bundles of nerves and sinew, bundling her up in thick, downy towels. Ann hummed lullabies and cradled her closely at night, never flinching, never looking at Tomie with disgust or a burning hatred, despite the fragments of their dark, sinister past.
In less than a year, Tomie once again had the form of a long-limbed, beautiful woman of eighteen. Her black hair thick and shiny, without a tangle or a knot, skimming down to her petite, trim waist.
Now that she had legs again, Tomie prefers dresses and things like a pair of cutoff, bleached-white jean shorts, rolled up to her inner thighs. Climbing up Ann's bedroom window takes some effort, and Tomie perches on the sill, waiting and grinning.
Ann finally notices her, jumping in place on her desk-chair.
"Don't do that—you scared me, Tomie!" she complains, furrowing her eyebrows at the rich, red blood blossoming on Tomie's shorts, dripping heavily. One of Tomie's hand clutches onto her bleeding, punctured side, her carnation pink, striped tank-top ripped off her left shoulder, nearly in tatters.
A sorry hovers on Tomie's lips, but she only grins wider, as Ann fusses over her.
"You're so reckless. Is he dead?" Ann questions her, helping her inside and checking over the wound. It feels squishy under Ann's fingers. "Was it some man who just met you?"
"Yes. Men are the same," Tomie replies, a bit lightheaded by her body's rapid healing, thankfully held upright by Ann's searching cautious hands. Her voice murmurous and solemn. "They're the worst. When they can't get what they want, they turn into animals. They kill. Over and over again… it's always the same. They think they deserve a woman's body..."
Ann gazes up to her face, nibbling on her bottom lip when Tomie's lovely, black eyes gleam a sickly glow yellow-orange. "I belong to no man," she whispers out, terrible and mighty like a storm.
It takes a licking kiss on Tomie's fingertip to draw her back to the present, her rage and monstrous, ancient darkness subsiding. Ann blushes sweetly and reaches to cup Tomie's face, stroking a fingertip over the little mole under Tomie's eye. "Would you like any coffee? I roasted and grounded the beans this morning."
Tomie's mouth twitches up. Humans. "You never pick out coffee I like."
"Because you want the most expensive one. My salary can't keep up."
"Or get me caviar and foie gras."
"Stop being silly."
"You're lucky you're so cute, Ann," Tomie says with a mock-hurt look, pressing their lips together with a friendly, wet smack. "I only want the cutest girl in the world…"
Ann blushes hard, mumbling out a weak, halfhearted protest when Tomie's fingers burrow under her skirt, massaging her clit. She leans against Ann and the desk, grabbing Ann's hand and placing it to her breast. "Why aren't you wearing…?" Ann breathes out, her thumbpad brushing Tomie's nipple erect through the thin, stretchy fabric of her tank-top.
"Bras are boring. Shut up." Tomie frowns and shakes her head, tossing her perfect, straight hair behind her. Her fingers grind insistently to Ann's clit, applying pressure through her underwear, until the other woman is trembling and moist.
Tomie will never die. Ann is only a person.
In a way, she's more beautiful than Tomie would ever be, living or dying.
Can a demon… monster… love?
Maybe this is the closest thing, with Ann's fleshy, pulsing heat engulfing Tomie's fingers and raw, gentle kisses and the scent of her own blood tinging the humid, summery air.
Junji Ito's "Tomie" is not mine. If y'all are looking for some REAL and CANON lgbt representation in horror, please look into reading Tomie and watching her movies. If you want watchable links, I can hook you up too. She is my icon - she is a Lesbian Icon - and I adore my unkillable murder daughter. :) I'm also posting for the last day of Dark Femslash Week on Tumblr under "Free Day: Blood and Injuries" and Kinktober 2017 for "Blood" and "Clitplay" and "Human/Monster Relationships" wooo! Any thoughts/comments are deeply appreciated and if you love Tomie too, please screech at me. I need some more people to discuss Tomie with.