Disclaimer: Don't own and never will.

AN: Written for the First Time for everything challenge by The In One on the A Series of Unfortunate Events Fanfiction Challenges forum. (Maybe abbreviate it to ASOUEFCF. Or maybe not.)

It was a quiet, unremarkable evening and Klaus Baudelaire was gurgling happily as his mother steadily unstrapped his (incredibly full) nappy. Resisting the urge to wrinkle her nose (Two children and still she was surprised that something so small and cute could produce something so evil smelling and in such quantities.) she lifted baby Klaus by the legs up and removed the offending item from his body and began cleaning his soiled bum.

"Bwah!" Klaus shouted out excitedly, followed by "Gleh!" and several other generally nonsense words as he waved his legs about.

"You have a stinky bum-bum mister," his mother said with a smile as she leaned over Klaus and smiled at him. Wiping away the last remains of the poo from Klaus's bum, she unfolded a fresh nappy and with practised ease, began to strap it on while Violet, her older child walked over.

"I spy with my eye something beginning with V," she said as she looked at her brother. "Can you think what it is Klaus?" she asked in a deadly serious voice and Klaus gurgled happily for a moment.

"Violet!" he said in a voice so clear it that the Baudelaire mother almost fell over.

"What did you say?" she asked in a tone of surprise. Klaus looked at his mother with an expression that seemed to say that she should listen.

"Violet!" he said again and the Baudelaire mother smiled.

"Well done Klaus, well done you clever boy!" she said while Violet stared curiously at her brother.