I work as hard as I can. Some people call me weak, but really I am not. All I want is for someone to love me.
When I was young, my father loved me. I loved him. We were close. But he wanted me to have a mother. He felt that every girl should have a mother. I don't disagree with that, but sometimes it is better to not have a mother than to have one who hates you.
He married my stepmother, Lady Tremaine. At first she was kind to me. My stepsisters and I played together. But it didn't last. My father died soon after, and my stepmother became cold towards me.
I think my stepsisters would be kinder to me if Stepmother wasn't there to scold them every time a kind word was said. Once in a while, they act a little less mean to me, as if the icy wall between us has broken a little bit. But it is always discreet and quick, and the next moment they are just as distant as they always have been. Maybe I only imagine it, but I like to think that they want to love me.
Stepmother hates me, I know that. She wishes I was not so beautiful on the outside, and she worries that I will outshine my stepsisters. She doesn't realize that inner beauty is more important than looks. She can't crush my dreams, or take away my hope that someday she will love me just a little bit.
Maybe if I work hard enough, she will love me, or at least appreciate me. On the coldest, darkest nights, I wonder sometimes if they really do need me. I do all the work, but maybe they would be better off without me. They could hire a maid, so that they don't have to feel guilty about treating their own family member like a servant. But when morning comes, I know that they do need me. I am not sure how much money this family has, but a maid must be paid. Anastasia and Drizella could never stand so much work. They were raised to be ladies, never raising a finger. I am sure I would be like that too if not for my father's death.
I am not alone in this world, though. The little mice who live within the walls are friendly to me. They care about me. I know that having animals instead of people for friends is not the best, but it is all I have. I made clothes for them, and I like to pretend that they are people.
I wonder if I was not so beautiful, Stepmother would love me. I don't understand why she thinks I might outshine my stepsisters. They are beautiful too, Anastasia with her shiny red curls and Drizella with her sparkling blue eyes. They may not be very graceful, but no one can have everything. I think that Anastasia might be very good at singing if she tried, and Drizella might have a gift for the piano. Anastasia is a beautiful flutist, and Drizella looks lovely in green. I wish Stepmother could see that we are each beautiful, instead of comparing us.
That may be the reason why my stepsisters are not kind to me. I don't know if Stepmother says it, but I know she thinks that I am more beautiful than they. It isn't nice to be told that you are not as pretty as your sister. I think that is maybe why they don't seem to like me very much.
I should like to call them mother and sisters, but Stepmother won't have it. Once I said to Drizella, "Sister," and Stepmother heard. She told me to come into her room, and then she yelled at me. She told me that they were not my sisters and they never would be. She told me she was not my mother and she never would be. I never call them mother and sisters any more.
Stepmother never touches me. Even when I was young, she did not. It leaves a little emptiness in my heart. I wish she would touch me on the shoulder as my own mother did when she was alive, or comfort me when I am sad. She is not any kind of mother to me. I hope that if I work hard enough, she will want to be my mother, and want to care for me.
I miss my father dearly. He truly loved me. He wanted me to be happy. I try to be happy here. Sometimes it is hard, but I really do try. I miss my mother too. She died when I was very young, but I still remember her brushing my hair every morning.
Maybe someday, I will find someone out there who loves me. Maybe my stepfamily will love me. I don't know what lays ahead, but I will keep working until a little love comes my way.
I am not weak. All I want is a mother's love and a sisters' bond. Maybe it will never happen, but I will keep trying.