Title: Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi

warnings: boy x boy love

disclaimers: not mine

summary: Harry discovers a certain object involving himself, Draco, and fuzzy handcuffs?! Ideas, realisations, and angst ensue!

pairings: Harry/Draco, Harry/Ron, Ron/Draco, Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Severus, Remus/Severus

Ending couples: Harry/? (Either Draco/Harry, Ron/Harry, Draco/Ron/Harry) Sirius/Remus/Severus

NOTES: I'm taking a POLL for the next few chapters to see who the ending Harry/? couple is. Please leave a review and tell me who he should be with. ^-^

Chapter 1~ Paravati and Lavendar's stash of Doujin

Something very strange was going on. Yes, it had to be extremely secretive. Harry Potter darted wary glances at a few giggling girls in the Gryffindor Common Room. Parvati and Lavendar especially. The two girls were huddled close together on one of the huge armchairs, snickering and passing star- filled gazes towards Harry. The Boy Who Lived self-conciously smoothed the folds in his clothes, going to join Ron and Seamus at the chess board.

Ron looked up boredly, barely and interest flickering on his freckled face. Harry knew why. Seamus wasn't a challenge at all to Ron; Harry was twice as good as the Irish boy and yet Harry was usually whooped in a game of wizard's chess by the red haired wonder in a matter of minutes. "Girls are insane," he nodded towards Parvati and Lavendar.

"You noticed too? They keep staring at me oddly."

"Checkmate," Ron stated flatly to a disgruntled Seamus. The boy laughed good naturedly, stretching his arms behind his head. Ron refixed the pieces and gave Harry his undivided attention. "I tried asking Herm about it earlier but she blushes everytime I do so...it must be a 'girl' thing."

"Your making us sound twelve," Seamus piped, smiling vividly at Ron who scowled. "We're sixteen and so are the girls. I think its safe to say their discussing something incredibly naughty. Care to find out, you blokes?"

Ron and Harry shared a shrug, joining Seamus. Parvati spied the trio coming and hastily stowed whatever was occupying her to underneath her butt. She grinned charmingly, poking Lavendar in the ribs with a warning glimmer to her brown eyes. "Hi guys," she said, folding her hands and placing them in her lap.

"What have you two been doing?" Seamus asked, leaning forward to peer at their space.

"Um, nothing. Oh, look at the time. Lets go," Lavendar tucked the-appeared to be a comic book-underneath her shirt, grabbed Parvati's hand and pulled her towards the girls dormitories.

Ron, Seamus and Harry raised confused brows, going to their own chambers. Harry was puzzled. What was so embarrassing about a comic book? Harry had seen Spider-man, X-men, and those of Dudley's at times and there was only really violence in them. It was befuddling.

Seamus climbed into his bed and was immediately asleep, his snores joining Neville's. Ron and Harry remained awake and on Harry's bed. "Well, do you want to check out the girls room to see what their hiding?" Ron asked, pointing at the Invisibility Cloak.

"I dont know Ron, what if we were caught? We'd never live it down."

"Lets not stay here and think about it. Are we going or not?"

"...Alright Ron but if Hermione catches us, your the one who's going to catch the blame because I refuse to listen to her banter." Harry draped the precious Cloak across him and Ron, shrouding them from view. Harry smiled wanly at Ron, letting the hazel eyed boy take the lead. They eased into the Common Room quietly so as to not disturb a group of studying third years. Tiptoeing to the sixth year girls rooms, Ron hesitantly opened the door.

The girls were asleep. Harry squinted in the dark, looking for the comic book. There....it was there! Harry dragged Ron to the beside table of Lavendar's. He reached forward, snatched the comic book. Lavendar emitted a tiny protest in her sleep before rolling onto her side. Harry calmed his racing heart, hastily exiting with Ron in tow. They ran to their dorm room, flung the Cloak off, jumped onto Harry's bed, shut the curtains, placed a Silencing Charm, and made light appear.

Ron and Harry exchanged anticipating glances. It was time to reveal what was possessing the girls to act wierd..well wierder than normal. With bated breath, they brought the book into light. Harry cocked his head to the side, reading the strange words. "Yaoi Doujinshi?" He frowned at Ron.

"Dont look at me. I haven't heard of anything like that."

"What do you think it is?" Harry prodded the cover.

Ron sighed exasperately. "Just open the damn thing and find out!"

Harry turned the page and peered at the innocently drawn people. He smiled at Ron. "That looks like me," he tapped a scruffy headed, specaled boy with a lightning bolt scar. "Mmm, do you think it is?" It resembled him greatly, that was for sure.

"Yeah...I think it is. Wow, you have your on comic book Harry!" Ron said exictedly. "I wonder if I'm in here too?"

Harry skimmed the first page, focusing in on a freckled face of his best friend. "Yep! There's you!" Harry laughed. "I can't believe that my fans would make a comic book of me. I wish I knew what the words said. Do you know what language it is?"

".....Japanese or Chinese. Can't tell. Come on, turn it. Damn, I wish the pictures moved."

Harry went on to page two, the scene was still in the Common Room of their Gryffindor lounge. Ron and Harry were sitting on one of the couches, apparently talking. "This sucks. I'm going to skip ahead a few pages." He did just that, going to page seven. A pointed chin gave the boy in the section away.

"Malfoy? Urgh, why the hell would someone but that git in your comic book?"

Harry didnt have an answer. Instead, he blinked rapidly at what was in Draco's hands. "Ron, are those cuffs?" Ron let out a hmmed sound in agreement. The drawn Draco was holding a pair of...leopared skinned handcuffs. The next page caused Harry to blush rather darkly, feeling his stomach tighten at the sheer eroticness of his poise. The animated Harry was lounging on..on a desk?! His robes were half way torn, flesh visible.

Ron was growing worried and he wanted to return the book immediately but he couldn't help his curiosity. He gnawed his lip, noting that Harry was looking increasingly ill. The page flipped, both boys giving a strangled yelp. The drawn Harry was fully naked and incredibly aroused. Draco was standing with the cuffs dangling from his fingers, smirking in the way that gritted everyone's nerves.

Harry's face was burning with embarassment. What the hell had he discovered?! He wasn't entirely ignorant to sex and in the comic book, he was hot and horny for Draco Malfoy. Why in the name of every god in every culture did someone draw THAT?! Harry noticed there was a hand on the Draco's shoulder... Someone else was in the room with the needy Harry and dominatrix Draco.

Ron wanted to die. Okay, this was so wrong. It was disgusting. Harry wasn't gay, was he? How had these people got the idea that Harry was gay and lusting after Malfoy? But....at least it was Harry and not Ron, right?

He spoke to soon. Next page showed Ron, naked as the day he was born and as aroused as watching a porn, standing with his hand on Draco's shoulder. Ron wanted to scream and yell and throw a temper tantrum. What sick and perverted person would do this?!

Oh gods....Harry felt his whole body go bright pink at the erotic imagery. How the hell could this entire scene work out? Ron and Harry hated Draco. The cuffs were snapped onto sketched Harry's wrists, his arms above his head. Then, the book was slammed. Harry started, meeting Ron's wild eyes. "Um...hi?" he tried but merely recieved a sputtered attempt at talk.

Finally, Ron found his voice. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" he bellowed, his entire body quivering with revulsion? Arousal? "Someone drew us like that! With Malfoy! I swear, I'm going to kill those girls! Their reading this smut!" He jestured wildly to the comic.

"Calm down Ron!" Harry hissed.

"CALM DOWN?!!!!!" Ron screeched. "Someone drew us having sex with Malfoy! With you being cuffed! That doesnt bother you at all?!"

"Of course it bothers me," he said but his voice wasn't all THAT convincing. "We'll talk about this in the morning and confront Parvati and Lavendar, alright? Just....get some sleep."

"Fine. Night Harry."

"Goodnight Ron."

Both boys lay awake until slumber engulphed their senses. But....their dreams were shrouded by fuzzy handcuffs, Draco with a whip and in leather, and of course, loads of sex.

~ * ~* ~*

OMG! I cant believe I just did that!!! #_#

Next chapter: Ron and Harry confront Lavendar and Parvati...heh heh.....and they discover the Sirius/Severus doujin! @_@