Spider Drinks

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. I also don't own Queen's Blade as that belongs to Hobby Japan.

Summary: Despite Arachne's teasing, the poor girl can't take teasing back. Reyn wanted to get back at Arachne and even enlisted the help of Chrom's sister. Alas, he didn't think she would get offended over a spider in a spider cider drink. Because Reyn refuses to throw Lissa under the bus, he has to make up with Arachne before everyone decides to shun him for being a "cruel boyfriend".

Pairing: Reyn/Arachne and implied Rob/Shulk

Rated: T (for teen)

Genre: Humor, Hurt/Comfort and some Horror

Warning: Swearing, disturbing themes and unintentional OOC

This is day 25 of the writing version of Inktober. Today's theme is "spider cider". Yes, it's an alcoholic drink but someone in the mansion can take it quite literally. Enjoy!

Reyn was the one who started petty fights. The person he tormented tended to finish it. When Reyn scared Shulk as a kid, he should have expected the smaller Homs to get back at him. Reyn just didn't think his fear of spiders would come back to bite him many years later.

Meeting Dark Pit was a blessing for Reyn. He had another male friend who wasn't as sensitive as Shulk was and could prank the dark angel all he wanted. As long as he wasn't hurt too much or Pit wasn't triggered by whatever the redhead Homs did, Reyn was in the clear. The problem wasn't Dark Pit as much as the bodyguards whom Dark Pit personally handpicked to protect him. These bodyguards were meant to watch over the black angel when Pit could not protect him. Dark Pit was capable of handling himself but the light angel preferred if someone he trusted could watch over his younger twin. The people Dark Pit chose weren't really trustworthy though for different reasons.

Kaguya was one of Dark Pit's retainer. She was a human who wanted to marry the dark angel when Pit tricked her into thinking that his twin wanted to romance her. Dark Pit proved to be a decent opponent to her and that promoted Kaguya to move to heaven to train under the dark angel. This meant that she would be his bodyguard as well as work to win his heart. She wasn't successful in wooing Dark Pit but Pit had seen how she fought and was impressed a human could do a good job.

Arachne was the more dependable retainer of the two. She might have been a demon but she was also a former assassin. It contributed to how well she did with protecting Dark Pit when the situation called for it. It was funny how Reyn learned that Arachne joined Dark Pit after he saved her from being executed. Her crime was attempting to assassinate Palutena. The Homs didn't want to let that hurt his attempt at befriending her but upon finding out she was a spider demon, it was difficult to do so. The worse part was that Arachne seemed smitten with him and desperately wanted to be his friend.

Arachne had an odd way of showing affection though. She knew Reyn suffered from arachnophobia but constantly triggered his fear whenever she was alone with him. Whether she messed with him by reminding him the amount of eyes she had to wrapping him up in a spider web to revealing her true form, Arachne always got a good laugh from Reyn. And of course, the people who witnessed the abuse found it amusing that Reyn screamed at a cute girl like Arachne. Often, the Homs would pass out despite trying his best to stay awake. His heart just couldn't handle a scary spider demon like Arachne.

The recent teasing sent Reyn to the hospital. His life wasn't in danger but he still got poisoned from the spider demon. Happy face spiders were not exactly venomous but Homs had fragile bodies easily affected by status ailments. It took almost a week before Reyn could leave the hospital. He was not a happy man. Arachne attempted to apologize on multiple occasions but he refused to accept it. The redhead wanted to get back at her for putting his life in danger (even though Dunban apparently told her that Reyn was just upset he was caught with his pants down). He just didn't know how to go about doing it and who to ask for help. Dark Pit would never approve of Reyn "getting back" at his favorite retainer. Pit could help but Reyn felt it would backfire if he asked him. Shulk would be ashamed of Reyn for even thinking it and Riki would spill the beans to everyone.

Reyn had some good fortune on who to ask. This was one of the few times where Chrom invited more people in his family besides his wife and future son. Chrom actually invited his sister, Lissa, over to see what was going on with the Halloween preparations. The moment she heard that there would be candy and pranks, Lissa was on board with showing up. One would expect Frederick to come along and watch over her but someone needed to stay and watch over the Queen of Ylisse. If Lissa was with Chrom, she would be safe anyway.

The moment Reyn realized that Lissa was great at pranking according to the Robin twins, Reyn immediately rushed over to her and introduced himself. Normally, Reyn second guessed himself with introducing himself due to the fact that his height had caught many Smashers off guard. The few Smashers who realized how much of a buffoon he was easily got along with him. Lissa looked dedicate so Reyn should have proceeded with caution. However, Lissa was far from a delicate princess and easily befriended him. Chrom had no issues with Lissa making new friends as long as Reyn didn't do anything stupid. Unfortunately, that's what the redhead Homs wanted to do.

A few hours into their conversation, Reyn casually brought up about pranking others. Lissa had a story to tell with how she played around with both Rob and Robin. The twins were just as good as scaring her as she was to them (and everyone else in the Sheppards). Reyn got on the ground immediately and begged the princess to help get back at someone. At first, Lissa didn't think she had the right to prank someone she didn't know but once Reyn gave her a few details, Lissa had jumped to conclusions.

"Oh, you want to prank your girlfriend!" Lissa hummed. "But you're bad at it because she's a pro!"

"Arachne is not my girlfriend!" Reyn denied almost immediately. "Why does everyone think that?"

"From what you just told me, you really, really want to get back with her after an extreme prank. I mean, you don't seem all that upset that you almost died in the hospital."

Was he really not that upset? No, he clearly was. He needed something that didn't endanger Arachne but just enough to terrify her. If Lissa was a pro, then he would get his revenge.

"Arachne doesn't like seeing other spiders," Reyn grumbled to himself. "I can't do the prank myself because I can't stand them."

"Ooooh~. Creepy crawlies. Let's see what I can do," Lissa hummed. "Hope you're ready to do your part, Mister."

Reyn could not wait to see what the small princess had in mind.

Lissa had many ideas in mind. One involved having Reyn ask Arache out. The redhead thought Arachne would see right through his intentions and scare him again. He didn't understand why the spider girl blushed when he casually asked her out for dinner at this specific restaurant. Arachne muttered how Reyn finally realized how she felt (when he clearly didn't). Arachne had left him alone in a daze. The first part of the plan was a success.

The second thing Reyn had to do was dress up in a fancy suit and meet her at the fancy restaurant he suggested. Reyn really had no one to turn to but the other female Smashers. Lissa became fast friends with people like Princess Peach and Zelda. Peach, in particular, helped in getting Reyn a proper attire for the date. Lissa didn't bring up how the date was a ruse to prank Arachne. Granted, Lissa must have thought that pranking was a way Reyn and Arachne showed affection, so playing matchmaker along with pranking was a plus. Reyn struggled with the tight tuxedos he was being given. At one point, he asked Peach how she had access to all of these outfits for men.

"Waluigi is good at tailoring like I am," Peach hummed. "You should ask him if you're in a bind like this."

Reyn didn't want to think that Waluigi could even make clothes. He preferred Peach picking clothes than asking that weirdo.

Lissa spent the time asking other Smashers to help make arrangements in the restaurant. She told a few Smashers that Reyn finally asked Arachne out. Their reactions ranged from relieved to surprised.

"Finally, those two can finally stop beating around the bushes," Dark Pit had said when he was told this. "I'm going to spy on them tonight just to make sure Reyn doesn't screw this up."

Reyn knew he was dead by the time the night was over. Not only was Dark Pit going to spy on him but Shulk, Dunban, Pit and a few other female Smashers. Why were Smashers so nosy? Did they have nothing better to do?

Either way, Lissa wanted the setting to look as convincing as possible. The prank was simple in itself. All Reyn had to do was order a cider and one of the servers would give Arache a specific cider to freak her out.

Reyn still found it ridiculous how he had to pretend to take Arachne out for the prank to work. He arrived first as Lissa instructed. The tall Homs stood up straight and did his best to stop his heart from racing. This was ridiculous! Why was he nervous for a prank?


Reyn's eyes widened. Arachne took the date seriously. The spider demon never dressed fancy even when Dark Pit ordered her to look nice when heading to angel events. The fact Arachne had spent the time to find a spider themed dress demonstrated how serious she was. Reyn found it difficult to breathe. She was gorgeous despite her choice of style. Who knew having cobwebs act as the lower portion of the dress would show off her slim figure underneath? Arachne looked less like a demon and more like...a normal woman.

"D-Did I make you wait?" Arachne asked. "I'm usually on time but I had to make sure…"

"N-No. I just got here myself," Reyn lied. He laughed sheepishly, hoping Arachne didn't catch him lying. To his relief, she was too nervous to notice.

"S-So...can we go in…I want to see what you have in store for me."

Reyn gulped. Why did Arachne give him a shy smile. If this kept up, he wouldn't be able to prank her at all.

Arachne clung to Reyn's arm and lead him inside. He tried his best not to pass out from how close she was. Fortunately, the contact didn't last long. Lissa arranged everything for him. The table, the menus, the seat next to the window...everything was perfect for a date. To add to it, the Smashers who wanted to see how well the date went were at different tables some distance away from them. The pressure was on.

The waiter was quick with asking what to drink. Arachne hummed and said she would have whatever Reyn was drinking. That allowed for the prank to work. The waiter left to go get the drinks. In a few minutes, Arachne would be pranked.

"So tell me, Reyn, why did you ask me out?" Arachne asked getting straight to the point. "Has your time in the hospital allowed you to finally have an epiphany?"

Reyn was taken off guard. "Huh? Uh…yes?"

"It was a question. You didn't need to respond with another question," Arachne hummed. "You Homs are so weird."


Reyn didn't know what to do. Maybe if he looked in Shulk's direction, he'll give him a hand signal of how to steer the conversation. Alas, Reyn noticed that Shulk was spending time with a certain male tactician once he thought Reyn was in the clear.

Thanks, Shulk. You're always looking out for me. Reyn thought bitterly to himself.

"I heard the food here is great," said Arachne. "I hope I can order Escargot."



Reyn wanted to vomit. He didn't have to. The drinks were already here. The waiter placed the drinks on the table. Reyn told the man they were still deciding on the order. This way, the server could leave before he became part of the problem.

"Maybe you could order the same thing as me. You'll appreciate my unique taste of cuisine if you did," Arachne hummed as she stirred her drink. "Now let me see what lovely drink you got…"

The spider demon froze. Before she took a sip from the straw, she noticed something black was floating upside down in her drink. It was only her drink. Reyn did his very best not to give it away that he planned for this.


It took Arachne a few more seconds to realize what it was and she screamed. It caught the other customers off guard especially with how quiet the restaurant had been. Reyn saw the horrified look Arachne had as she figured out it was a spider in her drink.

"What, it's spider cider." Reyn tried to tell her as he stood up to grab at her arm in a weak attempt to calm her down. Alas, the Homs failed to do something as he found himself burst out laughing with how hysterical Arachne was being. He had never seen her this scared and it was from something that Reyn would normally scream at.

Unfortunately, Reyn's victory was short lived as Arachne's expression changed from sheer horror to ferocious anger.

"How could you?!" she screamed. Reyn didn't know what to expect when she slammed her hands on the table, causing everything to shake. Some of the glass knocked to the floor and shattered. "You think this is funny?!"

"Uh...yeah…" Reyn muttered. "You should have seen the look on your face. You don't know what a spider cider is."

"One of my people died for a disgusting drink like this?!" Arachne questioned. Her eyes started to glow and she threatened to transform into her true form.

Reyn felt Arachne was overreacting. However, he looked around and slowly started to realize his mistake.

"You piss me off, you pig!" Arachne cursed. Reyn had never heard Arachne insult him like this. "You think to get back at me for my prank that you would kill a fellow spider and put his guts in my drink?!"

"Woah, Arachne. Chill out. It's not that serious."


Arachne was ready to blow. At the last second, she stopped herself from transforming. Something held her back. She knew what it was. She wanted to not make a fool of herself and be reported to Dark Pit. Instead, she took her wine class and drenched Reyn with the spider cider. The people nearby gawked at the scene. From an outsider's perspective, Reyn had fucked up badly.

"Don't talk to me ever again, you ape!"

First Reyn was a pig. Now he's an ape. Arachne couldn't make up her mind what animal fit the tall Homs more. The spider demon stomped out of the restaurant with smoke puffing out of her head. Reyn blinked wondering if it was a success.

"I guess that prank went well…"

Reyn wanted to believe that. However, there were Smashers and non-Smashers watching, and they were far from amused. The redhead flinched looking to the side and noticing that Shulk and a few other Smashers were giving him the evil eye. This was made worse that he noticed Lissa was part of the group.

"What? She had it coming."

That wasn't the best thing to say...

Reyn didn't understand how everything was his fault. No one believed him when he said he wasn't the one who put the dead spider in Arachne's drink. Not only did Dark Pit go 180 on his friend but now Shulk, Dunban and Riki were calling him out on being insensitive. Anyone who was on his side when Arachne scared him was now against him. Until he made up with her, he would be shunned and labeled an idiot.

It took some asking around but Reyn learned a secret about the mansion. There was a basement below the mansion that had all the connecting water pipes throughout the mansion. Constant water came through because of this. It was the perfect place for a spider girl like Arachne to hide in shame.

Reyn really didn't want to go alone, but he had to. Once the Mario brothers showed where the stairs to the basement were, the Homs wasted no time in heading downstairs. He expected the spider demon to pounce on him for daring to disturb her. Arachne wasn't that type of person. In fact, it was easy to spot her in the darkness. Arachne pouted in the corner while hanging upside down. She didn't want to be disturbed.

Reyn gulped. He had to speak to her no matter what.

"...A-Arachne…" Reyn stuttered.

"What do you want?"

Arachne's voice was dry and filled with resentment. Reyn shivered at the idea that the spider demon was still mad at him. The demon retainer usually maintained a happy personality no matter what happened. To see her actually upset at this prank hurt Reyn to a huge extent.

"I wanted to apologize."

"Go away. I don't want to hear it."

"Hey! I'm serious! What I did was wrong! I want to tell that to you!"

"Not interested."

Arachne had no intention of listening to Reyn. The Homs just wanted to give up and tell the others he tried. However…

"Well, I'm interested in making up with you," Reyn told her harshly. "I can't do that if you're going to hide in the dark."

Arachne made a noise that made Reyn want to leave the basement. The spider demon was too much trouble.

"Give me one good reason I should even listen to you. You're probably here because Li told you to apologize to me."

You hit the nail. Reyn thought to himself. "Yes, he did. You know how he is...but I genuinely felt bad. I did ask for help to get back at you. I didn't give the details of the fact you were a spider...so that's why the prank ended up like it was…"

Reyn was terrible with words. Arachne knew this but still gave him crap for it. The Homs wished that Arachne understood where he was coming from and at least speak to him.

"...Do you understand why I'm mad?" Arachne asked him.

"...I pranked you."

"It's more than that, doofus!" Arachne howled as she finally descended down her web. "Not only did you use a dead spider to scare me, but you know damn well how I feel about my own species being used like that!"

Reyn jumped back seeing Arachne bounce right in front of him after sliding down her web.

"Did you know that my entire species is cursed because of Palutena?" she asked darkly. "Because of her, the original Arachne became a spider and cursed us with a disgusting body. We can't find love easily. We take it by force. Everyone is scared of spiders because of our appearance. Even when we get rid of bugs. Even when we assassinate terrible people. We're still going to be labeled the villains and will be killed like we're actually them. That dead spider has done so much for humanity! And what do you do? You have that spider in my drink and expect me to drink one of my own kind! Have you no shame?!"

Reyn really did listen to everything Arachne had to say. He wasn't expecting such a long rant from her. It was another side of Arachne he hadn't seen. Of course she was upset and disappointed with him.

"I know I troll you and get on your nerves…" Arachne continued. She started to lower her voice. "But half the time, I want to be your friend but you keep giving me this look like you want me dead...it hurts."

"It's not you! It's…"

"I know, Reyn! You are scared of spiders! I want to show you that not all spiders are bad...but it's hard when it means going against who I am for you...I befriended Li and Kaguya despite my spider status but it won't work with you no matter what I do."

"You're too forward though!" Reyn exclaimed. "You say friend but what you did last week was way over the top! I could have died!"

"My poison would not have killed you."

"I'm a Homs! Our bodies are not normal."

"Don't you think I don't know that now?"

"You thought you did before but you clearly didn't!" Reyn argued. "Look, the prank was in bad taste. No, I will not throw the person who helped me under the bus. I will take full responsibility. Just…" Reyn wanted to continue but even in the darkness, he saw how depressed the blonde demon was. Arachne was still a girl at heart and he really shouldn't be trampling on her feelings just because she's a spider. "...Look...I'm sorry. Just...don't give me that look. I feel really...really bad."

Arachne had an idea what "look" she was giving Reyn. Crocodile tears is something she had perfected in order to effectively assassinate people who were weak hearted. That hadn't really left her system. She wasn't really using it on Reyn. It just sort of came out and she's here embarrassing herself even more.

"Do you really?" Arachne asked wearingly.

"Really, I do!" Rey shouted. "Can you please stop...hey!"

Reyn got taken off guard with Arachne suddenly wrapping herself around him. Again, that warm feeling returned and Rey refused to acknowledge the implication of this warmth.

"...You're an idiot...you know that?"

"Of course I do."

There was no point in denying being an idiot. Arachne murmured something into Reyn's chest that the Homs didn't quite get.


Reyn's voice was shaky. He didn't like it. He also didn't like Arachne looking at him with sweet, tempting eyes.

"...Be with me…" Arachne mumbled into Reyn's chest. "Be with me forever."

Reyn's face became as hot as a furnace. He had nothing to say to Arachne's confession. Granted, she could be messing with him again but he just couldn't tell. Demons were hard to understand.

"Y-Yeah…" Reyn managed to get out. "S-Sure…"

He really didn't know how to feel about Arachne. Maybe...just maybe if she gave him more time, he could learn to love and accept her despite being a spider demon.

Arachne looked up toward Reyn. The Homs saw her spider eyes staring straight at him. He tried to ignore how gross it looked but Arachne's warmth distracted him more than her spider eyes.

"If you're going to be mine...I have to show you another side of me...just so you can accept me."

Reyn should have saw this coming. The redhead gawked upon seeing Arachne force her other spider legs out of her back. Her body started to change resembling more of a spider demon. It wouldn't be long until the Smashers heard Reyn scream like a little girl again and faint at the sight of the spider demon. Arachne sighed in defeat as it really wasn't her intention of scaring him again. Still…

"We're even now," Arachne hummed as the Mario Brothers opened the door to the basement. They too saw her and screamed. "Well...I guess it's not just Reyn scared of me...heh heh…"

Arachne laughed nervously as she tried to explain what was going on. Alas, Luigi had already fainted and Mario had run off to go get the bug exterminator. Something told the blonde demon she would suffer from another lecture from Dark Pit very soon.

Me: Done with 4370 words. Notes!

1 Lissa's support in Awakening shows she's a prankster. I didn't know who else to use in the story to help Reyn so I kind of threw Lissa in there. As I mentioned in the story, I barely have anyone outside of Olivia, Inigo, Henry and Morgan visit from Awakening so I think Chrom should be inviting more people over like his sister.

2. Spider cider is an item in Undertale but if you type in spider cider on google, it seems to be a black vodka. I always assumed that people call it spider cider because you can just put a spider on top of it. This is a case of a literal spider on a cider.