Harry Potter

Up Yours Dumbles









Harry looked out the window as the morning sun came up and sighed, if he was lucky, there would also be owls carrying letters from his supposed family, Remus and Sirius; though any expectation he'd had that their letters would bring him news had long since been dashed. Remus and Sirius last letters were quite dismal and he felt abandoned as he looked down at the letters on the desk just like his friends had during the last year, they had abandoned him.

He had been home for two weeks and felt abandoned by his family once more, just as his friends had abandoned him during the tournament. True, Hermione at first had stuck with him, but by the third week she had left him alone because of the peer pressure. Ron had tried to apologize after the first task, but Harry's had enough of his jealousy for a life time and told him to shove it where the sun didn't shine. Not a single reply from any of his letters had arrived and he knew the letters had been received because they were missing when Hedwig had returned. Sitting in his chair thinking on what he should do, he was surprised when an elf appeared next to him.

Looking at the strange elf he asked, "Who are you?"

"Me be Sherry, Master Harry. I bring you a letter," the elf replied.

Wearily, Harry looked at the letter and then back at the elf and then asked, "From whom?"

"From Mistress Lily. She wrote it many years ago, and ordered me to deliver it on this day."

Harry looked at the elf in shock, and then blurted out, "From my mother?"

The elf nodded her head and then held out an envelope that had faded to yellow over time.

With a shaking hand, Harry took the letter and looked at the front. 'To my dearest son, Harry.' Was written in faded black ink on the front of the envelope.

Looking at the elf, he asked, "When did my mother write this?"

"October 31st 1981," Sherry replied.

"Why did you take so long to deliver it?" Harry said as he started to open the envelope.

"Mistress commanded me deliver it after your fourth year, two weeks after you returned home," Sherry replied.

"I see," Harry said as he opened the letter and pulled out a folded sheet of parchment.

Opening the letter he started to read.

My dearest son,

It's with great regret that I am writing you this. As I write this, I am looking at you sleeping in the playpen while your father works on things in his office. Many months ago, a prophecy was made that I refuse to agree to. Divination is a woolly subject as Minnie says about it but Voldemort believes in it. The prophecy was made, supposedly, by a seer; but to me she is a drunk. Yes she is the same one that you will have as your teacher in the third and fourth year. How do I know this? That's because later I had a vision of your life and how you were raised and what you went through. I had this vision just two months after you were born and I knew I had to find away to help you and I have. I saw in my vision that you would be forced to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament and that you'd win it but it would cost the life of one of the champions when Voldemort was reformed in his body.

Who killed the young man? I don't know but I do know that he used the killing curse and then your blood was taken for a ritual to restore Voldemort back to his body. I know you escaped with your friend's body and told Albus and the Minister that Voldemort was back but the minister, a short fat man wearing green, didn't believe you.

I know they have started a smear campaign against you and Albus and there's nothing you can do about it at this time. I know all your friends have turned on you, and that your godfather and Remus have abandoned you due to Albus orders. So here is what I want you to do.

1) Pack all your things, including the things you recovered from the Room of Lost Things when Dobby showed you the room to train for the tournament. You will need them, in fact, send Winky and Dobby to empty the room of things you can use. They will know what to take. Also send Dobby to get you some money, both wizard and muggle. Then go buy some good clothes that fit and a few gifts. I'll explain more on the gifts, later.

2) Go to Gringotts and see your account manager. Once you see him you will become Lord Potter, yes you are a Lord. You are Lord Harry James Potter the thirty-sixth Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. Because you were forced to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, they had to emancipate you. Wear your father's cloak and have Dobby pop you near the bank. Your account manager should be Bloodthirst, if he's still alive. When you see him tell him I said, 'It's time for the raven to fly.' He will know what is going on.

3) Ask the goblins for a complete medical checkup. If anything is wrong with you and I know there is. They can fix it for a price. They can also remove what is behind your scar and use it to find the others. It will cost you money but they can destroy them. This will help you in your fight against Voldemort. Also ask for our will to be read.

4) I hate to tell you this, but there is a betrothal contract for you. It was written by your great grandfather Fleamont Potter and Lord Albert Greengrass. It seems they saved each other's lives in Russia during the Crimean War and decided to write an agreement to tie the families together, but neither side has had a son or daughter that was opposite until now. You are betrothed to their eldest daughter, Daphne. The problem is, you have one year to marry after you became Lord Potter, which was October when your name came out of the Goblet. There is also a marriage contract written up for you and Ginevra Weasley, but it is void because only the head of House Potter can write them for the house. I mentioned gifts. You will need them for Daphne.

5) Talk to the Goblins and mention the 'compression room.' I pre-paid for you and Daphne to use it for a year. They will also have tutors for both of you as well as healers. This will take fifteen days of normal time, but will be fifteen months for the both of you. When you come out you will be both over sixteen and able to get married. The Goblins will give you paperwork that will show your new age and birthdays. This will not affect the time restraint on the marriage clause in the betrothal agreement. They will also use the time chamber to send you back one month so you both can follow my instructions.

6) There is pair of special helmet pensives in my old vault for you and Daphne, along with hundreds of vials of memories. This pensive will actually teach you everything in the memories. So if say one memory is fixing a car's engine, when you come out you will know how to fix the engine. Or if another is how to use a chainsaw then you will know how to use the chainsaw. This is meant as a teaching aid, so you can be prepared to fight if Voldemort finds you.

7) There is a letter and map in my vault. It leads to a house that I have set up where Sherry and another elf, Happy, are waiting to take care of the both of you. I advise you both to go there and train and live. The house is in a remote location with massive protections on it that I designed. I wanted to put them on the cottage where we were staying but the cottage was owned by Albus and he wouldn't allow them to be added. Get out of Britain and live, I beg you my son. This war is not your responsibility and you're under age. This means that for Albus to even suggest you fighting, he's trying to conscript children to fight, and that's against the law of the land and many other countries on child soldiers.

8) Get the Greengrass's to send Astoria, their youngest daughter to the Salem Witches Academy and also suggest they talk to Daphne's best friends' family and send their daughter there, too. Both will be in danger at Hogwarts from Snape and Dumbledore from reading their minds and finding your new location.

9) Don't follow Dumbledore's orders blindly. Remember he is a man, and men make mistakes and he has made plenty in your life and they are not plans we want for our son.

One last thing. Live, and be happy my son. Know I love you and I'm sorry we couldn't be there for you.

Your Loving Parents

James and Lily Potter

Setting the letter down in shock he looked at Sherry and bit his lip. He wondered what he should do. Did he do as his mother wanted him to do or do as Dumbledore ordered him to do? Picking up the letter once again he quickly read it and then looked at Sherry.

"Sherry, for now, I want you to go back to the house, but later tonight come back and take my trunk with you. You will find it in the cupboard under the stairs along with my broom. Take Hedwig with you. I don't know where the house is but I feel she'll be safer going with you, than flying there. I will be joining you there, soon," Harry said as he stood up and went to the center of the room and removed the loose floorboard.

"As you wish, Master Harry," Sherry said as she popped away.

Harry pulled out the items he had stashed in the space under the floorboard and then grabbed his backpack that was originally Dudley's and he had repaired at school.

Turning around he sat on the edge of his desk and sighed once more as to what he needed to do before saying, "Dobby! Winky!"

With twin pops, the two elves arrived.

"Master called Winky?"

Dobby danced with happiness as he cried out, "Great Harry Potter call Dobby."

"Calm down, Dobby. I have jobs for both of you. First of all, Dobby, I need you to take my key and go to Gringotts. Get some money for me. I need about five to eight thousand pounds and two thousand galleons. Can do?"

"Can do, master," Dobby replied as he took the key and vanished.

"Winky, can you expand this backpack's pockets to be extra large and unnoticeable along with a feather light charm?" Harry asked.

"I can, Master Harry," Winky said as she took the pack and started casting her elf magic into the pack, "All finished, master."

"Thank you, Winky. Now we need to gather my stuff in the room that I want to take with me. Can you gather all the books and my belongings while I go through my clothes?"

"Yes, Master," Winky replied and started summoning the books to stack them on the bed while Harry went through the clothes and found the best ones.

"Winky, can you make these clothes fit me?" Harry asked.

With a snap of her fingers the clothes shrank until they were his size and he set them aside to put on later. Turning to the backpack, he started adding the books and other items he wanted to keep with him, with Winky's help. A sudden pop and he looked up to see Dobby standing there with two bags in his hands.

"I have your money, Master Harry Potter. Your account manager sent this wallet, too," Dobby said as he set the bags down on the bed.

Grabbing the bags he looked and smiled when he opened the wallet and saw an ID in his name along with a black bank card, "Thanks, Dobby."

"Welcome, Master," Dobby replied.

"Now, I want the both of you to take my pack and go to the Room of Hidden Things. Go through it thoroughly. If it looks like I can use it. Take it. I will call you to bring the pack to me so I can add more items to it. Dobby, can you pop me outside of Harrods in London so I can do some shopping?"

"I can, Master Harry Potter," Dobby replied excitedly.

"Brilliant," Harry replied as he picked up his cloak and stuffed it in the small fanny pack that he had liberated off of Dudley. He then proceeded to change clothes and then said, "Let's go."

Both elves and Harry Potter vanished from number 4, never to return.

The guard outside the house never knew he was gone.




Harry appeared in a small alley up the street from Harrods and Dobby vanished as Harry walked out and headed for the main entrance of Harrods. With a smile he walked in and looked around the entrance, never noticing the frown that came to one of the employees face to his left.

"First I need a suit to fit in," Harry said as he spotted a directory and headed towards it to find the men's department.

Albert Brannon watched the boy dressed in sub-par clothing head towards the directory. Finishing his conversation with the woman he was talking to, he headed for the boy to escort him off the premises. Before he could reach him the boy headed for the escalator heading up and hopped on.

With a huff, Albert hurried after the boy and reached the escalator and stepped on as the boy hurried up the moving stairs.

"Damn it," Albert said quietly as he started up the stairs.

When Albert reached the first floor he looked around and didn't see the boy. Turning he looked up the next pair of escalators and saw him three quarters of the way up.

Turning he headed up the stairs and hollered out, "You! Boy in the green shirt stop."

Harry heard the man call out, but he ignored him as he reached the second floor and looked around. He spotted a men's shop and hurried over to it and entered the shop.

Harry looked around and stepped up to the counter, "Sir, I need a complete wardrobe."

Brian Shark turned at the sound of the voice and took in the young man and what he was wearing, "Can you afford it?" he asked.

Harry nodded his head as he replied, "I lost everything I owned in a fire at my aunt's house. It was a good thing I came into my inheritance. My bank supplied me with this card."

Harry pulled out the wallet and showed the man the black credit card from Barclays, "I think I can afford anything I want."

Brian's eyes almost bulged out when he saw the black card and then he said, "I will need to verify the card."

"No problem," Harry replied as he dug the card out and handed it to the man.

Brian took the card and picked up the phone. Quickly dialing the number on the card he waited as the phone was picked up.

As the phone crackled he heard, "Thank you for calling Barkley's 25 Charing Cross Road office. This is Mrs. Mary Hope, how may I direct your call?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hope. This is Brian Shark at Harrods. I have a young man here at my store with a black debit card. I need to verify it," Brian said into the phone.

"Let me transfer you to Mr. Gnarls. He handles all black cards," Mary said.

"Thank you," Brian replied as the phone was put on hold.

"Gnarls here. What do you need?"

"Good day, Sir, this is Brian Shark at Harrods. I have a customer by the name of Harry Potter here with a black debit card."

"Is he a scrawny kid, stands about five foot six. Has messy black hair and glasses? With a lightning bolt scar on his forehead?" the voice asked.

"Yes, Sir. That matches him," Brian replied as he noticed the scar.

"That's Lord Potter. Treat him as he was a member of the Royal Family," the voice said and hung up.

Brian looked at the phone and then hung it up. Handing the card back he said, "You said you needed a complete wardrobe Lord Potter. Come this way."

Brian led the boy to the young men's section and started comparing clothes to the boy's frame and asked, "How many suits do you need?"

"Make it two. One black and one grey," Harry replied after looking at the dozens of suits hanging on the wall.

Harry spent the next few hours being fitted out in casual, semi-casual, semi-formal, formal clothes, and exercise clothes. Later, he spent time visiting other stores, wearing one of his semi-casual outfits. When finished, he found he had spent close to four thousand pounds and then he hit the other stores while his packages were delivered to an office near the main door to be picked up when he was ready to leave. In all he spent just under five thousand on gifts for his intended and himself, as well as many muggle books to read that he'd never been allowed to bring back to number 4.

Picking up the parcels at the desk, he hailed a cab and had the cab drop him off at King's Cross where he grabbed a trolley and took it into the bathroom. When the room was empty he called Dobby who appeared with his backpack and they quickly packed all the shrunken bags into the pack and then he donned his cloak and Dobby popped him near the bank.

With the bank closing soon, he removed the cloak and headed into the bank and over to the nearest teller.

"What do you need, wizard?" the goblin asked.

"I am here to see my account manager, I think his name is Bloodthirst," Harry replied as he looked around.


"Lord Harry James Potter," Harry stated.

"I'll see if Boodthirst can see you," the teller said as he hopped off his stool and headed for a silver door.

Harry waited and kept an eye out for anyone he knew. He noticed a few looks from some people who started whispering to each other and Harry glared back which caused them to turn away.

"Bloodthirst will see you now," the goblin said as he came back, "Go to the gold door behind you and down the passageway to the sixth door on your right. Knock and he will call you in."

Harry nodded and quickly hurried to the gold door and pulled it open. Heading down the hallway he counted the doors until he hit the sixth one and gently rapped on the oak door.

He didn't know he had narrowly avoided being seen by Bill Weasley as a voice called out, "Enter."

Harry entered the room and closed the door just as Bill Weasley walked into the hallway from another corridor. Stepping in to the room, Harry saw a goblin wearing a blood red suit, seated behind a large desk. Bookshelves were lined on two of the walls and behind the desk, the wall was covered in swords, axes, maces and other weapons that humans had left far in behind in their history while the goblins continued to use them.

"Mr. Bloodthirst, my name is Harry James Potter and my mother told me to say, 'It's time for the raven to fly.'"

"It's just Bloodthirst. It's finally good to meet you again, Lord Potter. We have lots to discuss," Bloodthirst said as he gestured to a chair.

Harry sat down and said, "Then it's just 'Harry' to you, sir."

Bloodthirst pulled a large folder out of a drawer, and slammed it onto the desktop, "Let us begin."




Final Edit by TeNderLoin





Harry Potter™ is a registered trademark and copyright (©) of J.K. Rowlings and all that crap. The only thing mine is the idea and several characters. Everything else is hers including all the money... Damn wish they'd share.