AAAAAAAAAH!!! 'llo all. I've suffered a huge bout of writer's block, which is why I haven't updated in a month. I've also been incredibly lazy. So yeah. OK. ::hyperventilates:: Ok. AAAAAH! MY FIRST GIMLI FIC!! Read, and review, ok?


One day, Gimli the dwarf was surfing the Internet, as usual. But today was different.

"RECEIVE 8 ISSUES OF PLAYDWARF : FREE!" said a blinking banner. Gimli decided to get the eight free issues, and filled out the form.



"Hrm….Bill…Bill…Catalog…Postcard from my father…oh, just asking for money again…Win a million dollars…ahhhhh…here we are." Gimli dropped all of his mail, except for a magazine. He laughed maniacally, and started flipping through the pages of this month's issue of PlayDwarf.

"Ooh, that's a nice one. Yeah, that's the stuff!" he said, and other things of the like.


The next day, a rather ominous letter, which the word "URGENT!" was stated on the envelope, appeared in Gimli's mailbox. He decided to open it. Maybe it was for a mail-order dwarf-bride. But as he read it, his hopes fell.

"Dear Mr. Gimli son of Glóin,

            The publishers of PlayDwarf have asked me to contact you regarding your bill. It seems we have not received any payment from you.

            Please send three easy payments of $99.99 and you will continue receiving PlayDwarf!


                                                                        Hortense Battenbridge

P.S. For an extra $20, receive the new and raunchy video Elf Maidens Gone Wild: What You Can't See on a Palantír!

"Maybe if I just ignore it…" thought Gimli. He shook his head and thought that it would be best. "Though I do that want video…"


[-ThE nExT mOnTh-]

As Gimli went to the mailbox, he sang an old Dwarvish song.

"Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It's….oh no…." he stopped short, as he saw yet another envelope marked once again with the word "URGENT!"

"NOOOOOOO!" He decided that this had gone far enough. He was going to do something. Start packing.


Yup. I'm going to finish this later. Hehe. I hope you liked it. In the meanwhile, go to my xanga () if you're bored. Yup. Please review!