She wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and thinks that maybe she had been
dreaming about him, but she never can be sure. The air will feel hot and stale enough to
burn her throat for a while, but she is usually able to fall back asleep.


The first time Yuna had ever really gotten angry with Lulu was when in an attempt to
comfort her, Lulu had said maybe it would be easier to remember that Tidus had never
truly existed in the first place.

Yuna had jerked away, eyes narrowing like a cat. "How can you say that?" she had
hissed. "How can you even /think/ that?" She had marched out of the room and hadn't
spoken to Lulu for two days, although, to be honest, Yuna had been so busy with other
activities that she might not even have noticed if the anger hadn't been there.

She knew she was being a childish but still felt justified when Lulu told Wakka what
originated the falling out and /he/ couldn't bring himself to say anything substantial to her for
almost a week.

Lulu glows with the baby inside her now, and doesn't talk about Tidus anymore.


From dawn, when she wakes up, to low tide is her time. She does whatever she wants:
reads, swims, walks around the island, until her duties call her back. It is a time to
treasure and to savor, a time of quiet happiness.

It worries her when she wishes low tide would come in sooner.


Kimahri caught her crying once. It had been a long day, a longer week, full of diplomats
and priests and veiled threats and sneering disbelief that someone like her could do the job
she had to do. But they had all gone away, and Yuna had walked out into the brush. At
first it was just to be by herself, but soon it revealed itself to be so she could cry. Kimahri
had come up behind her and said nothing, just put a large, silky hand on her shoulder.

She didn't cry long, and mostly in great breathy gasps. She doesn't bother much with
actual tears lately.


She misses the fayth a little. She couldn't feel if or what they thought or felt, but she could
feel them, not taking up room, just keeping her company, just a presence inside her, for so
long it feels hollow where they are no longer there. She misses Valefor the most. Yuna
knew her best, and she thinks she knew her the best too.

Yuna had prayed so long for Valefor. She prayed until she panicked that she would
never receive an aeon, that she was not worthy enough to be a Summoner, and then she
prayed until she calmed down again. She felt woozy when Valefor finally came to her,
whispering soft things, whispering 'it's all right. you are the one. i have waited for you.'
Whispering, 'he's here now.'

Destroying the fayth, even with their blessing, had been harder than she can ever admit.


Yuna looks forward to when Rikku visits. They all do. Rikku is always refreshing,
revitalizing, her every movement a new burst of energy. Rikku also likes to talk, loves to
talk about the good old days: remember this, remember that? Yuna doesn't always, but
usually remembers the atmosphere behind the anecdote: exhausted, bewildered,
dangerous but cheerful and almost content.

Rikku talks about Tidus freely after the first few stumbling halts on his name when Yuna
told her to continue. Rikku adored Tidus like he had adored her, so most of her stories
mention him at least in passing.

It is good, Yuna tells herself, to have a reminder like this. Her memories are not forefront
in her mind, but she doesn't want them to fade. Rikku's visits are like a fresh coat of paint.

Sometimes though Rikku will look up at Yuna's face and start talking about the new trade
shipments or Cid's latest plans for the new Home practically in mid-sentence. Yuna
doesn't understand why until one day she is facing Rikku, whose back is reflected in a


She likes to wake up early and swim as far out to sea as she can, and she is not proving a
point. It is never as far out as she would like because she always goes back before she can
be missed.


Sometimes Yuna is so exhausted her bones ache, throb with a red leaden pain. She can
never remember being this tired before, even though she knows she has. Yuna has walked
hundreds of miles in days, has cast spells that could flatten mountains, has accepted ancient
and powerful spirits inside her.

She barely needed to rest at all back then. These days she is asleep before she can
properly undo her obi.


She visits towns when they hold anniversary celebrations of Sin's defeat. There is usually
dancing, fireworks, laughing children. There are always blitzball games. She will give a

Occasionally she'll have to ask one of her retinue exactly how long its been before she
steps up to the platform.


Isaaru has made her an offer of marriage. He isn't the first, but Yuna thinks he might be
making it at least partly out of actual affection for her. She tells him no gently.

He smiles crookedly. "I understand," he says, and she believes that he just might.

In her rejections she does not say 'no, never' but neither does she say 'not right now.'


Yuna doesn't think it's fair or even sensible that they're so wary of letting her off by
herself. She's always craved solitude every once in a while, even before. There's no
reason why anything should be different now.

Listening to her friends gently argue their case, however, she realizes that she has for a
long time now divided her life into before and after. She lets Wakka take her on her next


Yuna stands on the pier and stares at the ocean sometimes, as if it will give her answers.

But she already knows everything the ocean could tell her, and she always goes back
before long.