Title: Marry, or Die!

Summary: 'You are all I never wanted,' she thought. 'The feeling's mutual,' he thought. "And now I pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!" 'Noooo!'' they thought.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize and consider sane belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything else comes from my bludgered head.

A/N: I was in the shower when I got the idea for this fic. I know I should be updating my other fic, The Preposterous Wager, and I will! I've already finished the much-awaited chapter 7, but just waiting for my beta to send it back to me before I post it up. However, since I feel like desperately posting something up tonight, this is it! This fic promises to be even madder than TPW. Don't be alarmed if nothing seems to make sense. Anyway…here goes and hope you like it!


Chapter 1: Madness Reigns

Voldemort had gone mad. If you thought he was already crazy before this, then you've got another thing coming.

He was completely, horribly, inescapably nuts.

There was no way in hell, heaven, or Earth that Draco Malfoy would ever marry Hermione Granger.

"But Your Mightiness!" cried Lucius Malfoy, right after his Master had spoken his wish to his right-hand man in his chamber. "They simply cannot wed! Hermione Granger is a Mudblood!"

"Do you take me for a fool, Lucius? I know she is!" bellowed Voldemort, annoyed.

"Oh, of course, I did not mean to offend you, Master, the one and only, almighty-"

Voldemort waved his arms in Lucius's face. "Tut tut tut, yes, yes, blah blah. Get to the point." He was even more annoyed now. He had spent the entire day devising the downfall of wizarding China and was in dire need of sleep.

"Well, my Lord, how can such a match be suitable for my son? He is my heir, and one of your most loyal followers! Not to mention that he is already engaged to the only daughter of the revered Parkinson clan!"

"Yes, yes, I know all of that, Lucius. But I have my reasons," said Voldemort, with a yawn.

"But Sire," tried Lucius one more time, "Hermione Granger is a slave! Surely you can see how absurd and ridiculous that would look for the only son and heir of Lucius Malfoy to marry a disgraced Mudblood slave!"

"I don't care if she is a slave or an elephant, Lucius! Your son is marrying her in two weeks and that is final!" yelled Voldemort, enraged that his orders were being questioned.

"But Master-"

Voldemort stood up and grabbed Lucius Malfoy's collar, hoisting up the man, who attempted to cower in terror. "Look, let me put it this way, my faithful follower. If your son does not wed the Mudblood then I will kill him, is that clear?"

"What? That is preposterous, you can't-"

"Oh, can't I?" Voldemort said, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Er…I apologize, sir, of course you can…" Lucius stammered, eyes on the ground.

"Good. Then they will wed. I understand you need explanations, but I cannot give them to you now. Sleep is my first priority at the moment," Voldemort said, yawning again. "Now, off you go, I must rest."

Lucius bowed his head, and stalked outside his Master's chambers, before Apparating back to Malfoy Manor. He simply did not understand it. Why on Earth would the Dark Lord want his son united with a Mudblood, the scum of all life? And Potter's Mudblood at that! For someone who had just won the power of ruling the wizarding world in Europe, Voldemort seemed to be going insane astonishingly fast.

Inside Malfoy Manor, he walked huffily into the Study, where his son Draco, and wife Narcissa were lounging around.

"Hmpf!" he uttered as he stormed in.

"Welcome home, darling," Narcissa Malfoy greeted in an aristocratic manner from a velvet armchair.

"Hmpf!" was Lucius's response.

"And I love you too," Narcissa mumbled sarcastically.

"The Lord has gone mad!" he finally blew out.

"What, Father? What has he done? He hasn't freed the Mudbloods now, has he?" Draco inquired from his lying position on the sofa.

"No, it's worse than that, much worse!" Frustration seemed to get the better of Lucius Malfoy, and he was now in the process of yanking his own hair with both hands. He looked like a madman. Well, he was a madman to begin with, so not much difference.

"Now, now, Lucius, control yourself! What has Voldemort done?" his wife spoke.

"He wants our son Draco to marry a Mudblood!"

"WHAT?!?!?!" exclaimed both Narcissa and Draco in horror, standing up in a sudden.

"Who, Father?" Draco asked, dread weighing down his heart.


"WHAT?!?!?!?!" exclaimed both Narcissa and Draco a second time, before Narcissa fainted and collapsed onto her armchair.

"This is insane! I'm already engaged! Has ruling the world made the Dark Lord go bonkers? What's he playing at?" cried Draco, aghast.

"I don't know! But there's nothing I can do. He apparently has his reasons. ARGH! But in any case, it's an official order. You have to marry her."

"And what if I don't?"

"Then you will die. He will kill you."

"What?!" Draco said one last time, before fainting himself.


It was shivering cold in the Slave Dungeons. A section of Azkaban Prison had been renovated to house slaves waiting to be sold off to good, Pureblood families. Anyone from Mudbloods, half-bloods, to Squibs that had gotten into the Dark Lord's disfavor ended up there.

Naturally, Hermione Granger and her friends, save for Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and Ronald Weasley, who had managed to escape the day Voldemort defeated them and ascended to power (it is believed that they are in hiding in the States, but that could not be confirmed), were all sent there when captured.

Hermione sighed as she slumped against the cold stone wall of her cell. This was her fourth time back here. After her capture a year ago, she was spared from execution and sold off to the McNairs, McNair being a member of Voldemort's inner circle. When he ended up mysteriously poisoned to death, she as well as all his other slaves, were sent back to Azkaban to await a new master. Hermione was then sold to the Zabinis, the family of Blaise Zabini, her former classmate at Hogwarts. When Blaise woke up one day and found himself castrated, he went insane, and was sent to St. Mungo's. In grief, his parents and sister moved to their house in France instead, and all the slaves were banished. Then, Hermione got sold off to the Bulstrodes, also the family of her old classmate Millicent. After two months, Millicent's face somehow got heavily disfigured and she would allow no one but house-elves to see her. So all the human slaves (and there were only three) were shipped back to Azkaban. Some of the wardens who witnessed her comings and goings in Azkaban began to think that she was more trouble than she was worth.

Well of course she was. She was Hermione Granger, Head Girl of the class of 1998. Top witch at Hogwarts. Best friend of the famous Harry Potter. What did you expect?

The only thing Hermione looked forward to now was the day her rebel survivor friends would come back to rescue them and overthrow the Dark Lord and his insufferable minions. She was thinking about just this thought when one of the masked wardens approached her cell and banged it hard.

"Get up, you piece of filth!"

"What do you want?" she angrily retorted.

"Get up, I say! Someone's here to see you! Quick, you wench!"

He then burst through her cell doors and pulled her roughly up, then dragged her kicking and screaming all the way down the dark and stinking corridor to an interrogation room.

"Why are you taking me there? I'm not a prisoner! I'm a slave!" protested Hermione, still kicking.

The warden only sniggered then threw Hermione inside the room and slammed shut the door.

"Argh!" Hermione began smoothing the ragged remains of a robe that she was wearing when she finally took notice of the man sitting at the table in front of her.

"Hello, Miss Granger," the short, plump, and balding man greeted.

"Pettigrew?!" she cried in obvious distaste.

"And so we meet again," he said pleasantly.

"You don't die easily, do you?"

"I'm afraid not, Miss Granger. But I'm not here to discuss me. I'm here to discuss you. Take a seat."

Hermione saw nothing wrong with that so she did, opposite him.

"What's there to discuss? I'm a pitiful slave."

"Yes, but it seems as though the tables have turned on you."

"Come again?"

"You're very lucky, Miss Granger. My Master has big plans for you."

"If they aren't my freedom and his demise then I'm not concerned."

"Oh but you will be, Miss Granger. You really haven't got a choice in the matter, you see." Pettigrew grinned broadly, unnerving Hermione.

"So what? He's decided to execute me?" she asked sounding aloof, though inwardly, she was feeling her insides go numb. What if it was?

"No, bigger!" Pettigrew said, his voice excited. "You are to marry Draco Malfoy!"

Hermione choked on her own breath. "WHAT?!"

"Yes! It is indeed your lucky day, Hermione!"

"Is he insane? Draco Malfoy? I will murder the scum before I marry him!"

Had Voldemort really gone mad? This was absurd! She was a muggle-born slave and one of Draco's worse nemesis back in their school days, which were only two years ago. She can't seriously marry him!

"Oh, but as I said, you haven't a choice, now. You've been ordered to marry him. And he, likewise, has been ordered to wed you."

Hermione gaped at Peter Pettigrew incredulously.


"That is a secret my Master wishes to keep to himself, for now. But he has his reasons."

"Well, sorry to thwart them, but I'm not marrying that snake," Hermione answered, referring to Malfoy.

"Too bad. You have to. There are incentives, Hermione. You will be freed, and the wife of the heir of Malfoy, for that. You will be wealthy and respected in high-society."

Hermione scoffed. "Whatever, in your fantasies, maybe. I'm still a Mudblood, they'll scorn me anyway."

"Don't think so, Hermione. Voldemort's ideas never get scorned."

Hermione snorted. "No, I still won't."

Pettigrew stopped smiling and stood up. "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to repeat that you haven't a choice. You will marry Draco Malfoy in two weeks. I'm letting you know now, as you are to be sent to his Manor first thing tomorrow morning."

Hermione stood up defiantly as well. "No."


"Or else what?"

Pettigrew shook his head and sat back down, amused. "It isn't really an option, Hermione. Oh wait, actually it is."


Pettigrew nodded his head gleefully.

"Marry, or die."


A/N: So how was it? Worth continuing? I just needed something to post up, really, and this was the craziest thing that came to mind at the moment. I think I made Pettigrew slightly OC, but considering his Master's just won the war, he's gained some confidence. Anyway, tell me, should I continue it? Was it any good? It seems fun to write now that I've begun it, but if I don't get enough positive reviews, I won't have any incentive to go on. So please, do review and tell me what you think, it won't take long! Thanks!


~ smashing sugar ~