Relationships & Wooden Chairs
By paxnirvana
Fandom: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Characters: Tenpou, Kenren
Rating: R [language, innuendo]
Archive: Asking first is polite.
Date: 11/26/02

Author's Note: A 'missing' conversation from Gaiden. And an experiment in storytelling purely through dialog. I wondered, idly, just why the two of them looked *so* deliberately casual when they finally showed up in Konzen's office... *grin* Pure self-indulgent fannish crap. Enjoy or scorn; feel free.

Disclaimer: Minekura Kazuya owns, other big companies have the rights. I have nothing but charged particles arranged in a semi-regular pattern on the screen.

* * * * *

"Oi... Tenpou... there you are! Oh shit!"

"Ah, yes. Well, perhaps I should thank you for sending Goku along after me after all, Kenren Taisho. The boy did prove himself quite useful in extracting my person from Li Touten's office."

"That bastard Li! He actually hit you..."

"Maa, maa, I'm afraid he was provoked. And within his rights. He is still a more senior god than I am, if not precisely senior in the regular military chain of command..."

"Fuck that shit! He hit you!"

"Only once. Then our young friend intervened."

"...it's not that I didn't think you could handle it, Tenpou, it's just..."

"I quite like that chair. Very fitting."

"Oi, now... wha-?! Ugh! Shit! That doesn't need to be tighter! Ow! Watch the ribs!"

"Better. All the slack is gone now... Trouble follows you, Kenren Taisho. My life has been drastically disrupted ever since that day you first walked into my library... bounced out of the Eastern army for sleeping with your commander's wife... most of the upper echelon loathes you, you know... always drinking... disrespectful... yet brilliant on the battlefield... better with a sword than anyone else..."

"Tenpou... ah... uh..."

"He called me your wife, you know."

"...."

"That again, huh?"

"Yes."

"...."

"Uh... sorry?"

"Oh, I don't think that's going to be enough this time, Kenren Taisho."

"Shit, stop calling me that!"

"What would you prefer I call you, then? Husband?"

"Curse it! No! Shit!"

"Or are you willing to be my wife, then? Or perhaps 'whore' is more fitting..."

"...Tenpou... aw, hell... don't..."

"I believed we had an understanding, Kenren Taisho - an understanding that was severely strained when it became necessary for me to elicit Goujun's help in releasing you from your 'punishment'."

"...shoulda known the lizard didn't come on his own..."

"Oh. Rarely."

"...."

"What the FUCK is that supposed to mean?!"

"...."

"Oi, Tenpou..."

"...."

"I am quite aware of the flurry of gossip that surrounds us. It is frequently useful to me, in truth. It keeps the more... ardent... from disturbing my studies unduly. And from paying much attention to the exact nature of those same studies."

"...shit, not the dragon..."

"Are you listening to me?"

"...but you... uh, yeah! I'm listenin'."

"It's been eight hundred years, you know. Politely, respectfully, and rather adroitly, if I do say so myself, I kept him off for eight hundred years... then you shoot your mouth off in front of the King of Heaven himself, of all people, are thrown in Li Touten's private prison for your hubris and there I found myself..."

"...damn it, Tenpou..."

"...on my knees..."

"Shit! Stop! I get it! You don't have to spell it out for me!"

"...."

"...."

"...."

"...I didn't think..."

"That much was obvious."

"...."

"...sorry..."

"You should be. And if Nataku had been allowed to develop any true will of his own, the boy would undoubtedly see your unthinkingly insulting and juvenile stunt as the noble and caring gesture it was meant to be."

"Oi, he said 'thanks'..."

"...."

"Okay, yeah, yeah... repercussions... you're always harping on about those, ne?"

"To one who appears deaf as a post, apparently."

"...."

"...he's barely on his feet, Tenpou. Poor kid, shaking and shivering in the middle of that damned audience chamber. He's not some toy for them to play with... just like Goku in all those chains..."

"No. But regardless of your... our... feelings on the matter, he is still the Toushin Taishi. You had to expect some fall-out from so public an embarrassment for him... and his status-seeking father."

"I did. And I was ready for it - I thought... 'sides, what are a few broken bones, eh?"

"But clearly you didn't consider how your imprisonment and... torture... would affect me."

"...no... hell..."

"...."

"...gonna stop twisting the knife soon?

"No, I don't think so."

"...feh... I deserve it..."

"...."

"...sorry. Again."

"And so you should be."

"So...you gonna untie me soon?"

"...."

"...no, husband, I don't believe I will. I quite like the effect."

"What are you... Unf!"

"...."

"Aa!"

"...."

"...."

"...."

"Ten-chan... uh, ah... if you keep..."

"Shut up, Taisho..."

"...yes, sir..."

- - fin - -