Got hospitalized again but I feel much better now. I have to say I don't really have a plan for this section of the fanfiction. Motion Sickness and Basilisk came to me all at once but this was fragmentary.
I have to say I'm surprised at some of you guy's interpretation of Luna's prophecy. Very few got it right. I thought I was being obtuse when I wrote it but looks like I still have some mystic. Anyways, here's another chapter.
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Grindelwald didn't know who's spell killed Album's sick sister. It haunted him like an evil specter from the end of time. That he didn't know. Harry didn't know either. It could have been Grindelwald. It could have been Abeforth. It could even have been Albus. No one knew for certain. The memories were confused and disjointed. When Harry meditated on the memory he found no new insight. Nothing could be learned from this.
I'm a way Harry himself killed Dumbledore's sister. In a way Dumbledore killed his sister. In a way Harry killed Dumbledore. He didn't like that thought. He still loved the old man. But in a certain sense he ate him alive. But that's true of all father figures. If there was any insight to be gained it was this: All children eat their parents and all parents hunt their own children for sport. Dumbledore set him loose and now was hunting him down. He burdened Harry with terrible purpose. To be sure the old wizard loved Harry. And Harry loved the old man. But they were at war. They were meant to do great things.
Everyone everywhere was counting on Harry to be the best there ever was. They counted on him to see further than Dumbledore. They counted on him to be more powerful than Voldemort. They needed him to be more brutal than Grindelwald.
And you know what? Harry wasn't sure he was up for the task. Maybe he should take Daphne and run to the furthest corners of this earth. But running would be futile. Voldemort was viscous and afraid. He expected Harry to be weaker. He expected a lot to be honest. But Harry was the unexpected element. He was the poison in Voldemort's cup. He already drank it. Now they were both locked in and only one could survive. In a way Voldemort brought this on himself. A self fulfilling prophecy. No escaping fate.
Luna was in the hospital wing. Another seizure had taken her. Consciousness, whatever it was, remained a mystery to Harry. The mind was complicated and dense. It was incredibly entropic. It probably had quantum effects. There are two interpretations of Godel. Either mathematicians are running a non computable algorithm or there were true statements in mathematics which could not be proven. It was an insurmountable metamathematical obstacle to understanding.
The more Harry attempted understanding the more confused he became. When he meditated on the past, both Grindelwald's and his own, he arrived at only more obstacles to his understanding. He felt on the cusp of understanding something about the nature of nature but the more he tried to grasp it the faster it slipped away.
He needed to talk to Dumbledore.
Ginevra Weasley met Harry beside Luna's bed. With probing fingers Harry reached out. He reached out literally with his hand and brushed Luna's quicksilver hair from her face. She looked peaceful for once. Awake there was pain and direction less energy.
"Whatever it is you wish to ask of me go ahead and ask," Harry told Ginevra.
Ginevra glanced at him and hesitated.
"How did you know my memories of Diagon Alley were false? How do you always know?"
"I know nothing. The more I learn the less I understand. Where does the knowledge go? It is dried up and executed in the school," Harry answered.
"You knew," Ginevra denied. "Do you know why Luna is comatose?"
"I have my suspicions. Guesswork, really. The current can take one by surprise. And before one realizes it they are swept out to sea. All knowledge has a price. It is exacting and cruel. I'm learning that now. I fall to pieces and become."
"What are you becoming? What's the price you're paying?"
"Everything is on the table. My personality. My mind. My soul. When Luna sees the future I imagine she can direct it somewhat. To see what she wants. But being on top of a mountain one cannot see the mountain."
"You know about where I got the diary from. You knew my memory was false."
"All memories are false. What matters are the metaphors. The nature of reality is metaphors becoming real. Luna tied herself to me. She grew more powerful because of it. Her fate is sealed with my own. Is this the prophet seeing the future or guiding it? Is there a difference?"
"Of course there is!"
"How so?" He looked Ginevra dead in the eye and watched her shudder. "At the center of every universe is the self. But I look inward and I don't find a center. There's sensation, awareness, and awareness of awareness. And so on. But no place within me is a pillar I can hang my robes on and rest. With the whole universe in flux we cannot step in the same river twice."
"I didn't ask for this!" Ginevra shouted.
"Didn't you?" He raised an eyebrow. "Sleeping or waking? The combination gives rise to so much more. Do you remember who you were before?"
"Before what exactly?" She whispered.
"Before Tom took you. Before you woke up for the first time. Before you were born."
"Well…"
"Context matters. Metaphors matter. You matter, Ginevra."
She shuddered when he hit the 'v' in her name. He noticed it easily enough. He filed it away. Into the place he put background knowledge.
"What about Luna? Can you help her?" She asked when she recovered herself.
"No court can convict someone of the horrors they inflict on themselves. I'll do what I can to ease her pain. Because I can. But sleep isn't a safe place for a prophet. I look into Luna and see a shadow. There is darkness and light I cannot penetrate. I can only attempt to master myself but I've been struggling with even that recently. I recently took on a great deal more than I anticipated. It's an ongoing process. I struggle against my own evil nature and I think that is good but I don't know goodness from evil. All I know is power."
Harry glanced at Luna.
"You're kind. You take burdens on yourself. You don't have to help Luna and I but you do it anyway! How can you say you're evil?!"
Harry winced. "You don't see all of me. Only those parts I allow you to. I'm good at manipulating people. Like Tom was. Every person is an object living in very high dimensional space. We all exist multifaceted. Even I cannot know those closest to me. And I was meant to be alone. It's a blessing and a curse. I know my own mind. And that is all. There is awareness."
"Life is more than that. There's bad but there's good too."
"Tell that to Luna. Not even death can save her."
Ginevra frowned and looked down at her friend.
Harry tapped his wand on the nightstand and a card materialized. Harry signed it. It was a get well soon card.
"I'll bring her chocolate from Hogsmeade," Harry decided. "It's just a distraction but it could help. Food and creature comforts matter too. We are only human."
"You're very inhuman at times," Ginevra muttered.
Harry laughed. "I have to go. There are other matters to attend to. Though I love Luna I cannot be there for her always."
Ginevra wanted to beg him to stay. Wanted him to share his burdens with her. After everything he did for others it was the least she could do. He helped everyone. Couldn't he see that? He helped Luna and Neville and her! She should do something for him. If only she were bolder. She might be able to muster up the strength. But Harry walked out with his shoulders up and his head held high. He could do this. He was strong. But she was sick and weak. She still had relapses. Still drank draughts of dreamless sleep to avoid nightmares. Her own actions frightened her. Perhaps that's what he meant. He shouldered terrible responsibility.
If only she could make him understand that he wasn't alone. But there he went.
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"My treasure," Harry smiled at Daphne.
"You're keeping secrets from me. Don't think I don't know." Harry selected some chocolate caramels from the shelf of honeydukes. They were enchanted so you could chew them for hours and they'd never lose their quintessential aspects.
"That's my prerogative, love." Harry smiled. He walked up to the counter to pay for Luna's chocolates.
"I don't like it. You know you can share anything with me."
"You are my greatest weakness. That cuts both ways. That's a razor bound to slice us both. Handling ethical blades this sharp is a good way to cut yourself. The things I keep from you would just worry you. You couldn't help."
She opened her mouth.
"I know you aren't a child Daphne," he interrupted.
"Are you in me?" She asked him.
"Not at the moment. I just know how you think. Let's get a butter beer and watch the sky and the lake."
"Sounds romantic."
"It can be. Time spent with you is never a waste. It makes me happy."
"Oh?"
"The blue of your eyes. The smell of your hair. These things aren't of Legilimency but they are of you."
"I always thought your eyes were prettier than mine," she confessed. "If we have kids I hope they take your eyes. My father had green eyes."
Harry nodded. He could understand that. But such dreams were distant. They called to him from so far away. He had enemies between him and such goals.
"Will you put these in your bag?" He asked her. He gestures at the chocolates.
"Buying chocolates for another woman?" She clicked her tongue. "And you want me to carry them?"
"I'll carry your bag."
"My bag stays with me." She put the chocolates in anyway. They got their butterbeer and rode the thestral drawn carriages around the lake. The drink was smooth and the ride was smoother on enchanted wheels. The sun shattered off the lake. All the migratory birds were gone but some animals remained. Harry thought he spotted a centaur in the woods but with their powers it was likely his imagination.
"Let's walk," Daphne decided. Harry got out of the carriage first and helped her down.
"What a gentleman," she beamed.
"Just don't ask me to dance."
"You're not a bad dancer."
"I can waddle well enough to fake it."
They paced around the lake. A mermaid swam to the surface and stared at them. Harry waved a greeting. The green and blue creature disappeared beneath the waves.
Harry drank like he was thirsty but paced himself on the drink.
"Do you think You Know Who ever had days like this one?" Daphne turned her big blue eyes up at him.
"Et en Arcadia ego," Harry answered. "He was a man before he was a revenant."
"Even in Arcadia I? Meaning he gave up his humanity?"
"He fears death. 'Ego' could refer to death speaking in the first person. It's a painting by Nicholas Poussin. Counting seconds like knuts is a waste of time but kissing you time simultaneously stops and speeds up. My center shifts and all I know is my feeling for you."
"Kissing does it for you?" She raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"
"I want to pin you to a wall."
She threw her head back exposing her neck and laughed. Fuck. Her laugh made the stars shine. Harry kissed her neck and sucked on the dimple of her collar gently. Her laugh turned into a moan and Harry sighed out through his nose. He didn't need to be in her mind to tell he was turning her on. He wasn't exactly confident in his ability to stand up straight either.
"Harry…" she moaned his name. "Master, we're in public."
"Hush now. Let me taste your skin." He whispered against her neck. She shuddered. He slipped into her mind and sent her a rolling wave of pleasure. She moaned again at his presence and her nipples poked through her robes. She rubbed the top of her thighs together. Her hips ground against nothing but empty air and she whined. Harry's heart stopped when she made that noise. He never felt more like a god than he did at that moment. He slipped a hand over her groin through her pants and when she ached for friction he gave it to her.
"Are you lost?" She gasped.
He stroked her and her head rolled back.
"I'm right where I want to be," he echoed in her mind. She hid nothing from him. She opened her mind and her legs. He pushed his hand into her pants and under her pants line. It was a tight fit but when he touched her wetness she gasped. He read her memories of touching herself. He knew just where to apply pressure and where to tease. That special nub at the top of her flower made her pant and when he penetrated her with his fingers she sighed.
[Harry… Master… I]
Her flower got wet and her abs clenched. Her muscles tightened over and over. He could read her thoughts and sent waves of peacefulness and pleasure. She finished around his fingers without breathing and with her eyes clenched shut. Then she collapsed in the grass and panted. He withdrew his hand. He stared at his hand for a moment. It smelled of sweat, this was true. But there was a secondary musky odor. Somehow sweet.
"Treasure you spilled your butter beer," he informed her calmly. She glared at him.
"Do fuck off," she said coldly. "I'm thirsty now."
Her forehead had a line of perspiration.
"Have mine," he offered. She took it swiftly and finished it in three enormous swallows.
"Happy?" She asked. "You ruined me."
"Not so," he disagreed. "If only you could see the look on your own face when you orgasm. Oh but you can." He entered her mind and filled it with an image of her form on the brink of 'petite le'mort'.
"Let me do something for you," she begged. He smiled gently.
"Some other time. It's getting late. I have chocolates to deliver and I have to meet with Dumbledore in his tower."
She laid back in the grass and whined pitifully. "I need a change of clothes."
"You smell wonderful. Full of pheromones."
"Yeah. Do I make you stiff?"
"I'm not just yet ready to stand up," Harry nodded.
"I really want to do something for you though."
"You did just by being mine. Mine forever. My greatest weakness and greatest strength."
"But-" he silenced her with a kiss.
"Rest little love. You are more tired than you realize."
She sighed as he entered her like morphine. He took the shape of some drug and ground her down. When he released her she yawned.
"That's not fair…"
"Our whole relationship is an imbalance. I told you you were tired so you are. You want to sleep and rest. I shall see you tomorrow. We'll see about getting real privacy."
She smiled. "I'd like that. I love you Harry."
"I love you too." He gently kissed her forehead.
"Can you carry me?" She asked.
He cast a lightning charm and gathered her in his arms. He carried her up to the castle. He ignored the looks he got. He knew the way to the Slytherin common room. He set her on her feet. He took the chocolates from her bag.
"Goodnight Harry."
"Goodnight love."
Harry delivered the chocolates. Luna was awake and staring at the world with wide new eyes.
"I dreamed about you." She murmured.
"I brought you something. It's not much."
"You don't want to hear about my dreams?"
"Do you want to tell me about them? I won't press you." Harry materialized a chair and sat next to her.
"This thing you're agreeing to. It will cost you your soul. You know that. Don't you?"
He nodded because he did know.
"Would you bet a fiddle of gold against your soul that you can beat the devil?"
Harry hesitated. "I think I can make it."
"The devil." Luna repeated.
"Voldemort isn't the devil. He was a man."
"Now he's not. He's something more. You are too. You will make decisions in this war. It will strip you of your humanity."
"What would you do if you were me?"
"I'd fly away to a sunless land. Far away. The night rolls over and it makes me sick. It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick!"
"Calm." He suggested soothingly with a double reverberation to his voice which immediately relaxed her.
"I see you skinned alive and enjoying it. I see you faceless. The girl in the crib cries and people die around you. You kill so easily. People look like ants from heaven. The thousand faces of God."
"I can do this. I know myself."
"You're scared. You'll fail to save what matters most in the end."
"Of course I'm scared. Only a fool isn't afraid. I have things my enemies can take from me."
"You were born with these enemies. Most of us get to choose our enemies."
"What do you see of my prophecy?"
"I see a forest of possibilities, all of them burnt to ash by the totality of it all. I see an alignment. But it's too much! Please don't make me think of it!"
"I brought you chocolate. I wasn't sure what kind you liked."
"Thank you…"
She took the box from him with hands which gradually grew more stable. She took a chocolate and put it on her tongue gently. Then she exhaled out through her nose hard and chewed on it.
"Tell me about your father." Harry suggested. She glanced at him. He smiled gently.
"You wouldn't get it…"
"No?" That same smile.
"He's sweet. He tries to understand and help but money was tight. There was only so much he could do. He told me stories late into the night all the time. I learned to read from him. I learned to tell the future from him. He gave me so much. I'm everything he wanted and more. He treasures me. I know he loves me dearly. But he's not all there because…"
"Because how could he possibly," Harry nodded. She smiled.
"Yes. It's complicated." She chewed the chocolate caramel. She offered one to him and he took it into his mouth. He chewed and tasted. "He did his best for me. He does his best every day with me at his heart. Do you know what that's like?"
"I hope death is like falling asleep at a party. I hope you can hear music and laughter from the other room," Harry answered.
"Maybe it is like falling asleep…"
"But you don't think so?" He pressed her.
"Sleep isn't peaceful for me. I hope it isn't like sleep. But no I don't think it's like that." She cringed. "This knot in my stomach. The root of all my envy. Reminds me I'm a mess of bone and tissue."
She took another chocolate. "These are good. Thank you Harry. You look after me too. In your own time and in your own way."
"Sleep well Luna. Be safe," he said it in a whisper Like a spell.
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