SeeNashWrite: The Best of the Shorts - Jackson
Category: Drabble; Imagination Sanitation; Humor; Dean being an asshat due to the prompt
Rating: Teen & Up
Character(s): Dean, You…. probably more Nash than "Y/N", but your snarky wit is dialed up to eleven for about 300 words, so hey - my gift to you [humbly]
Warning(s): Mild coarse language; pathology chatter (don't have food in your mouth if you're of delicate constitution)
Author's Note(s): Post-story; and -
This is one of my myriad "Imagination Sanitation" pieces, which is what happens at Tumblr when I - or one of my many witty enablers - stumble upon an "Imagination" premise that is so utterly stupefying, I can't help but adopt it & dip it in the bucket of snark I keep by my desk. This round's eye-rolling premise?
Overall Summary: "Imagine Dean [is back from the dead], only to find out the music you've been playing in Baby [isn't] classic rock."
"You were dead."
"I mean, incredibly dead. Like, cold and stiff."
"Yeah I get that, really, but—-"
"No. No no no, not really, 'cause see, y'all usually pyre-n-fire folks right away, or far enough after the fact."
"After the…. after what fact?"
"Oh. Well. Allow me to tell you the story. Sam was a hot mess, didn't seem to notice that you'd shit your pants."
"I beg your damn pardon?"
"That's what happens when a body ceases to function. Hey, lots of times it doesn't even take death, the big let-loose is the universe's free-gift-with-trauma-purchase, and I'm assuming there was trauma involved, because, y'know, we are talking about you—-"
"And I don't know that the bloat even impacted him, but the botflies, boy howdy, those tend to do the trick, they are pesky little suckers. Although, thinking back, it coulda been the maggots…."
Dean abruptly jerked the wheel, tires squealing as he pulled the car to the side of the road, immediately stumbling out, scurrying far as he could into the overgrown grass, heaving up every bit of the lunch he'd just eaten along the way.
Once the retching was done, Dean was more than a little sheepish as he turned to look back at the car - and at you, since you'd opened your door and had your boots propped in the open window, cool as could be, Zeppelin now an afterthought as the voices of June and Johnny wafted through the speakers.
"Now, Dean darlin' - did I not hear you right? I thought you said it was my music that was gonna make you puke."
"Shut up. Seriously. Or I'm gonna start singing."
"...go play your hand, you big-talkin' man, make a big fool of yourself..."
Feedback is fuel! Let me know if you enjoyed. -Nash
Author's Note #2: I dearly wish I could show you the perfect of most perfect gif that accompanied this tale, and also that I could link you to the live performance YouTube vid of Johnny & June singing "Jackson" that was a click away via that last line, so you'd get the full effect but, alas, I cannot. Do hunt it down for yourself at some point, though. Good stuff, that.