Copyright: I have no rights to the characters used in the story, they belong to the Stephanie Meyer.
"It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up…" (Bon Jovi, Always)
In a small town somewhere in Texas, sitting in a dirty hotel room, I thought it was time to reminisce and while it is easier to recall on the good memories rather than the bad. They were memories of her.
Lying in a bed surrounded by silly pictures of her, I recall her saying they would be worth millions one day, the day she became famous that is. Holding one photo, my eyes drifted drinking in every detail. She was lying on the back of my truck under the beaming sun, mahogany hair shining and wearing only my plaid shirt, cowboy hat and red boots. She never looked more beautiful.
"I love you…"
Did I remember the first time I told her I loved her...? Sitting on the edge of Cedar Bluff Cliffs, the sun having gone down I turned towards her and stared. She looked stunning and the words just blurted out, "I love you". Smiling and turning towards me, she wasn't surprised I had said it. She came closer and kissed me, "I love you to Peter."
Brightness and light followed her like a beacon in which I basked in hoping that energy would cling. This emptiness has left me in the dark with constant rain as a reminder.
There was no way anyone would dominate, influence, or control me. Ha! Such deception in a moment where I was distracted by the truth. Her presence revealed bliss, serenity, respect, stability, in a world where only anger, greed, and uncertainty were constant.
"I can't sing a love song
Like the way, it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore."
(Bon Jovi- Always)
If only time turned back..
Our paths crossed at a New Year's Party. My brother Jasper was seeing this girl, Alice and asked me to come along as his wingman.
"Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?"
Standing at the bar wondering what I could do to leave, without Jasper noticing. I couldn't help be aware of the scene in front of me. Latecomer breezes in to meet her friend at the end of the bar. The two hug each other warmly and as soon as the hug is broken latecomer orders a tequila. This was surprising as I would have expected a girly drink like a Margarita. Observing her stance, confident, so entirely sure of herself was something rather enticing. The other well-being a man latecomer was a sight to behold. Red cowboy boots caught my eye which led my sight ascend up her slender body. As if she felt the heat from my gaze, big brown eyes were suddenly on me. Never being the amorous type, which doted on a woman. I turned away breaking the momentary connection. Glancing from the corner, latecomer frowns.
She didn't glance back again that night… meanwhile I couldn't help but observe her the rest of the night. She was the flame and while moths kept flying in their demise would land in eventual rejection.
"Nice to meet you Sug.. I'm Peter…"
Fire gleams with distinction; regardless of its uncontrollable nature. Maybe that is what attracted me to her? As I slowly approached her that night, I felt her eyes burn in my skin and since then have been entrapped in her heat without being able to leave. Like fire though, she was gone in what seemed minutes the cold seeping through after the dreadful rain.
I was not a romantic type, the one that broke the norms and felt the need to include society in any of my relationships.
"You never give me flowers or take me out to dinner like normal couples."
That was just me and initially she accepted the idea of who I was or more like how I was. It must not have been enough anymore. She wanted more and it was impossible to give a part of myself I didn't even think existed.
"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me…" (The Scientist – Coldplay)
As many times thoughts of her crossed my mind, I was blameworthy for my own destruction.
"Tell me your secrets
Ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start…." (The Scientist-Coldplay)
Our relationship was like a whirlwind tornado, it swept in and did not stop to look at anything in its path.
My Sug.. had petty friends who hated her and were jealous of everything which regarded her. They would always flirt when I was around and my Sug would joke about it and tell me they were all waiting to dig their claws into me, but she would laugh and tell them I was all hers.
"Sug, I'm all yours forever and always…"
Rosalie, was my Sug's best friend and ended up being the reason I lost her to. While hardly the one to blame, I couldn't help but feel anger and resentment towards.
"Peter! Why would you do this?"
I asked Sug to move in no more than three months after dating. All your secrets come out when you move in together, all the good memories along with ugly ones. I found a box filled with old letters from boyfriends and a picture of her when she was in her "ugly stage" and there was also the lingerie left over from a previous fling … at the bottom of my drawer. That didn't seem to bother us though, we were in a happy bubble forgetting there was still a whole world out there we had to let in.
An afternoon, Sug brings up her friend Rosalie. Sprouting this story of her friend being kicked out for cheating on her boyfriend and having no place to go. Honestly, not having even listened to the complete story but doing anything to make her happy I said yes. However, weeks turned into months and Rosalie would not leave. I tried to tell Sug, her friend was not good news. Openly staring at me, wearing skimpy outfits when Bella was out, leaving the bathroom door open while showering, it was all getting to be too much. Sug had been having stressful couple of weeks and it seemed to me we were driftin apart. My insecurities led me to believe she was tiring of me and at that moment felt the need to reassure myself.
"I can't Peter, don't you see I have to finish this report for work. Gosh! Is that all you can think about lately?!"
Truthfully, speakin I was an idiot and felt resented. Sug, hadn't done anything wrong yet I felt alone and yet that feeling was uncalled for.
Deciding to take a shower and under the hose… I felt a pair of hands on my back. Thinkin, it was Sug I responded, but when I turned around it was Rosalie.
"What the fuck… are you doing here? Get out!"
Rosalie was not to give up easily and I am not going to sit here and lie to you and say I didn't go through with it. The door opened and there was Sug, she decided to skip work that day and was thinking about taking a drive together.
She stood there in shock, and only because she made the tiniest of noise was that I noticed she was even there. However, seconds after she locked eyes on me, with my dick half way up Rosalie's cunt she bolted out and was gone by the time I had gotten some pants and rushed out the door.
Rage and anger is what I directed at myself for being so stupid. I gave Rosalie an hour to leave my house… and went out to look for Sug… she wasn't answering her phone… and none of her friends had heard from her.
"Sug, I'm sorry. Please call me back I can explain."
Weeks passed and I hadn't seen or heard from Sug. Her stuff was still in our apartment, which she hadn't bothered to even pick up.
A couple years passed and I had turned into a drunken bastard. Hallucinations came and went and led me to believe Sug was still with me. Today, though I saw her again once more in a newspaper. It was a wedding announcement for her and Edward Cullen, the most eligible bachelor in Seattle Washington.
"Goodbye, Sug. I love you…"
"Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me…" (The Scientist – Coldplay)