Board Game Blues By S.A.M

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of TMNT. I just borrow them for a little story.

"Dammnit, it's mine!" shouted Michelangelo in disgust.

"HA! In your dreams!" laughed Raphael as he held the last piece of pizza high in the air.

Michelangelo struggled frantically against his older brother. Mikey tried desperately to snatch the slice of pepperoni pizza but Raph managed to hold him back.

Leonardo and Donatello sat quietly on the sofa and watched, as Raph and Mickey tumbled about the living room. Both Leo and Donny were completely entertained. It was like Pro Wrestling but with a twist. Meanwhile, Michelangelo's mouth salivated in hunger. Raph dangled the large slice of pizza like a matador vexing a bull. Michelangelo's stomach growled in aggravation. The hunger welled up inside him until he suddenly snapped. Mikey roared in fury and charged his older brother. He flailed his fists wildly and screamed like a madman. He came at Raphael quickly but Raph was ready for him. As Mickey approached, Raph stepped to the side and stuck out his foot. Michelangelo noticed Raph's move but it was too late. Oh no, thought Michelangelo as he connected with Raph's foot. Mikey tripped over Raphael's foot and crashed into the sewer wall. He hit head first and smashed to the cold floor. His three older brothers burst into hysterics.

"I win!" laughed Raphael as he lowered the slice of pizza to his mouth.

"Not so fast!" informed Leonardo as he swiped the pizza from Raph.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Says who? I saw what happened between you and Mikey. He actually grabbed the slice first but you kicked him in the ass when he wasn't looking."

"So, you've got no proof. Now give me back that pizza!" warned Raph, swiping at the slice of heaven.

Leonardo's face crumbled in amusement. Give me a break, he thought, what is Raph gonna do about it.

Leo snickered and pushed Raphael down. Raph fell on his rear end and cursed out loud. Leo gave Raphael no notice. He quickly covered the pizza with his hand and turned to Donatello.

"I'm not sure who really deserves the pizza. I'd say it belongs to Mikey but I'm not for sure. I think we should do this democratically."

Donatello shook his head and it was apparent to Leo that Donny had an idea.

"I've got a better idea. Let's let them play for it. You know, like a game. We'll do question and answers. We can use our old Trivial Pursuit cards and see who know more useless junk. I always thought it would be fun if we had a game night. The winner gets the pizza." informed Donny.

"Sounds good to me. How about you guys?" asked Leo, turning to Mikey and Raph.

"No!" they said simultaneously.

"Good, then it's settled. A board game it is!" laughed Leo


Raphael was letting off a serious amount of anger. It was practically radiating from his skull. The other three turtles didn't seem to care. They were off in their own little world. Raph was forced to sit in a crammed school desk and the worst part was, he had to be close to Michelangelo, who was also in a school desk. Leo and Donny were busy setting up and Mikey was staring off into space thinking about God knows what. Raph sighed openly. Raphael wasn't very good at board games and he had a strange feeling he was about to lose his slice of pizza. I hate my life, growled Raph.

"Alright you two, we're ready. Now who wants the first question?" asked Donny, flipping through Trivial Pursuit cards.

"Me dude!" volunteered Mikey, his arms flailing through the air.

"Is that ok with you Raph?" asked Donatello.

"Whatever." replied the angry turtle.

"Great! Ok Mikey, what is the largest city in Missouri?"

Mickey scratched his head for a moment. Wow this is a tough one, he thought. But suddenly a light popped on in Michelangelo's head.

"New York!" he shouted.

The other three turtles looked at Mikey as if he had a goat sitting on his head. Raph smacked himself in the forehead and moaned. Meanwhile, Leo covered his mouth trying hard not to laugh.

"No I'm sorry Mikey, the answer was St. Louis." informed Donatello.

"Alright, now it's my turn!" shouted Raph.

"Sheesh, hold your horses ok! Alright Raph, what is the capital of Louisiana?"

Raph thought, and thought, and thought, and thought. Suddenly, he slammed his fist on the school desk.

"How the hell should I know? I'm a ninja, not a geographer!"

Donny shook his head in disappointment. Meanwhile, Michelangelo tried to swing at a fly buzzing over his head.

"No, I'm sorry. The answer was Baton Rouge."

"I knew the answer." laughed Leo.

"Leo, Shut Up!" shouted Raphael.

Donatello licked his finger and flipped through more Trivial Pursuit cards. He found one he liked and turned to Michelangelo.

"Alright Mikey, second question. Who was the first person on the moon?"

Mikey scratched his head again and tried to think. Meanwhile, Raph rubbed his hands together devilishly. He knew this one. If Mikey misses the question I can make the steal, he thought.

However, a lot of time had gone by and he was starting to get impatient. Michelangelo was taking his sweet time to think about the question.

"Come on numb skull! Answer the question!" roared Raphael.

"Leave me alone Raph, I'm thinking!"

Suddenly, Raphael smacked Michelangelo in the back of the head. He hit with such force that Mikey crashed face first into his desk, and crushed his beak.

"Hey! What did you do that for?!" cried Mikey, rubbing his nose.

"Because I can and there is nothing you can do about it!" laughed Raphael, flexing his muscles.

"Yeah right, because you're so arm strong." replied Michelangelo sarcastically, still holding his beak.

"Yes, Armstrong! That's it, Neal Armstrong! One point for Michelangelo!" informed Donatello, flipping to the next card.

Raphael tried to stand and protest, but he got caught up in his desk. The desk caught him at the waist and forced him back into a sitting position. Raph almost fell over but he managed to maintain his balance. It was obvious to the other turtles that Raphael was furious.

"What you mean, one point for Michelangelo?!" He didn't answer the question! He was talking to me!!!! This retard thinks that New York is in Missouri for crying out loud!!! WE LIVE IN NEW YORK!!!!!" bellowed Raphael.

"Raphael, you need to calm down. No need to be a sore loser." stated Leo.

"Put a sock in it Leo! I quit this stupid ass game!" roared Raphael, still trying to get out of the desk.

"Well, I guess the slice of pizza goes to Mikey by default." informed Leo, handing the pizza to a hungry Michelangelo.

Suddenly, Raphael stopped his struggle with the desk. He wasn't about to let Mikey get the pizza; not after all he had done for it. Raph stole that pizza fair and square. He quickly gathered his thoughts and settled back into his desk.

"No wait, I'm not done yet. Ask me a question Donatello." stated Raphael calmly.

Leo quickly swiped back the pizza as Mikey was about to bite into it. Michelangelo's teeth clattered against each other and rattled his brain.

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" whined Michelangelo.

"The game isn't over." stated Leo, making sure the slice of pizza was still ok.

Meanwhile, Donatello read the next card and turned to Raphael. Donny cleared his throat and began to read the card aloud.

"Who wrote the novel A Christmas Story?" asked Donatello.

Raphael laughed. Man this is too easy, he thought.

"Piece of Cake! The answer is Charles Dickens!" answered Raph.

"Right you are Raphael. One point for you."

"Man, I've got this game in the bag." stated Raphael, while cracking his knuckles.


Leonardo tapped his fingers on the coffee table. The slice of pizza was still unclaimed and he was just about to go out of his mind. Leo finally realized that Donatello's game idea wasn't so great. They had been play for almost three hours and the score was still one to one. Raphael and Michelangelo are a couple of morons, he thought in disgust.

Leo yawned loudly. He listened to Donny as he asked Michelangelo another easy question, which he would most assuredly get wrong. Suddenly, the smell of the pepperoni pizza stung at his nose. Leonardo was starting to get hungry himself. Why should Mikey or Raph get the pizza, he thought, it's plain to see they don't deserve it.

An evil smile etched across Leonardo's face. He quickly lifted the slice of pizza and started to lower it into his mouth. Suddenly, a fist connected with Leonardo's jaw. The un-expecting turtle fell backwards and landed on his shell.

"What do you think your doing?!" asked Donatello angrily.

Leonardo rubbed his face in pain. Wow, that kind of hurt, he thought.

"I was going to eat the pizza. Why should Raph or Mikey get it? They can't even answer a simple question."

"True, true. However, I'm hungry too. So I should get the slice of pizza!" shouted Donny, throwing the Trivial Pursuit cards to the floor.

"Oh yeah?!" taunted Leo, rising from the floor.

"Yeah!" shouted Donny, tackling Leonardo back to the ground.

The two turtles wrestled furiously and suddenly Raphael and Michelangelo joined in. It was a tussle of arms and legs. The four turtles rolled about the floor, breaking everything around them. Suddenly, Master Splinter entered the living room. He watched in horror as his sons fought one another. However, a slice of pepperoni pizza caught his eye. It was setting on the coffee table and it sure looked tasty. It might be cold but I don't care, thought Splinter as he scooped up the slice of pizza.

Master Splinter quickly gobbled the pizza and patted his mouth with his hand. He scraped off the crumbs and licked his long fingers.

"That was good. Thank you boys." said Splinter as he went back into other room.

The four boys stopped their fighting. They hadn't realized that Splinter had entered the room and left already. However, they soon discovered that the slice of pizza was gone and that Master Splinter had eaten it.

The cries of four teenage turtles echoed through the damp sewer.

The End