HELLO SUNNYSUPPORTERS! GOOD TO BE BAKC! And I have a NEW STORY FOR YOU! HERE IT IS: ENJOY!
"Are you ready for this baby," he leaned over my shoulder while I was on the edge of the bed. The hotel room smelled like cough syrup and feet while the tan walls has faded images of bouquets across them. The light above me hummed, struggling to produce the dim rays onto the room, but seemed to illuminate the small table to my right. I turned to it, little bag looked smaller than I remembered and the beautiful brown inside it was beckoning me.
"Yes," I whispered.
"This will be the ride of your life baby," he grabbed his spoon and the little bag. "I bought it from some fucking spic on West Monroe, he says it's good shit."
I brought a leg up on the bed so I could watch him place the sweet snow in the spoon and light the flame underneath, it melted like ice cream on the sidewalk. I felt a shiver run up my spine as my skin began to itch, I need this, I thought. I need this. He set down the lighter and grabbed the needle from the table, and I watched it slowly fill the vile. I NEED THIS, the thought consumed me.
"Ladies first," he raised the needle in the air and flicked the contents, squirting some out so there was no air. I licked my lips, I needed a taste so bad. I got my rubber tie and tied my arm, pulling it tight with my teeth. I looked at my rose tattoo that covered the underside of my elbow and hidden within it I saw my track marks and a twinge of guilt pinched my heart.
Mom... what would she say..., I thought. I was contemplating forgetting all of this, running out to my car, driving home and hugging my mom until I turned back and saw that needle. All other thoughts vanished, all I wanted was the sweet release that could only be given by a ride on some Horse.
"Do it," I licked my lips, while he positioned the needle on my vein.
"Have a good ride," he leaned over and kissed me, I kissed him back, but only in hopes that he would hurry.
I felt the needle slide in and I let out a tiny gasp, it had been so long since I had injected. The real joy came moments after when he plunged that brown sugar into my blood.
I let out a deep sigh and felt it rush through me, I felt lifted, no thoughts of school or my mom plagued me. I closed my eyes and fell backwards onto the bed, my heart was content and my mind was free.
I woke up to bright lights and loud voice and thought, What they hell? Where am I? I pushed my eyes open and adjusted to the harsh fluorescent lights. Shit, I realized where I was.
"Good, I thought we had lost her."
"Wh...," I tried to speak before I was staring at a set of eyes.
"Shh, it's okay. You're okay. Miss, do you know you're name?"
"Ughh...," my chest hurt, it felt like someone was standing one me. "Wait..."
"Miss, you're at Mercy Hospital & Medical Clinic. You overdosed ma'am, can you remember your name?"
The smell of her breath was like old lady perfume, it made me want to throw up, but I couldn't move, my whole body hurt.
"My name is Raena..." I could barely talk without my chest feel like it would rip open.
"Raena? Okay Raena, do you have someone we can call?"
"Ugh, no... no one." I felt a panic coming, they can't call my mom, I thought, they can't.
"Are you sure? There's nobody?"
"I said there wasn't," I snapped at her, then my head internally blew. What the hell is wrong with me, I thought lying back on the bed.
"Okay Raena. we're going to put you on some fluids," she finally left.
I raised my head to see I was, in fact, in the hospital. Crap..., I thought as I looked down at my hospital gown and noticed all of the medical personnel walking around. This better still be my high, I laid back.
Some man came up to me in a suit, "Raena, is it?"
"Yeah," I sat up, wincing at the pain in my chest.
"What's your last name?"
Fuck, I can't give my last name, they'll know who I am. "Martens, " I lied.
"Raena Martens," he scribbled it down. "I am Thomas Yurle, and I am here to just inform you off what all has happened while you were unconscious. You were found in a motel, the Midway Inn, by the motel manager. He found you unconscious with a man, but he has fled, the EMT's arrived, you weren't breathing. They did CPR and used the defibrillators," he turned his sheet. "You started breathing, they brought you here, but several times on the way over... it was 3 I think, your heart stopped and had to manually restarted. They did a physical, otherwise, you seem healthy."
I overdosed, shit, I didn't even take that much... I thought back to the motel and the needle.
"Is there anyone we can call for you? You're parents?"
"No," I said quickly
He looked me up and down," How old are you Raena?"
"I'm 20," another lie.
"20, huh? Well, you look awfully young."
"I just have a young face I guess," I looked down, trying to hide it.
"Alright, well... Do you knwo who that ma was, the one they found with you?"
"No," not technically a lie, I think he names was Louis, but I could be wrong.
"Alright, well, I think that is all," he turned.
"Really? Last time there were tons of questions and I..." I stopped myself.
"Last time?," he turned back to me.
I didn't have an excuse so I kept my mouth shut and looked at my hands.
"So, you are Raena Spellow" he stated simply.
My head shot up and my mouth fell open, how does he know my real name?
"Yeah," he sighed, "I thought so. Don't look so surprised, you came here last time, don't you remember?"
Last time? My last overdoes... 2 years, ago they brought me here. How would he know that?
"We've called your mother, you're still a minor and she needs to be here."
I sat up quickly," I need to leave," I tried to get out of bed.
"Raena, don't do this, we want to help you," he blocked me.
"My mom can't know about this!," I screamed pushing him away.
"It's too late, we already called her. She'll be her soon," he took a step back
"FUCK!," I ripped the IV out of my arm and stood up and face him, it hurt like a bitch but I couldn't stay here. I felt the hot streams of blood running down my arm.
"Christ... We need a nurse over here!," he called and a few people came running. I saw them coming and tried to run, but was stopped and put back into bed, I kicked and screamed trying to get away. I can't let my mom know! SHE CAN'T KNOW!, I thought before I felt a pinch and then relaxation washed over me.
This time I woke up and saw my mother, she was crying in the chair beside my bed. My groan must have laerted her that I was awake becase she sat up and rushed to my side.
"Raena," she cried," Oh Raena, my baby."
My mom knows! FUCK... NO, I didn't want her to find out! OH SHIT!
"Mom, I'm so sorry," my eyes prickled.
"Oh Raena...," her head fell on my chest and she sobbed.
"Mom, please...," my tears fell onto her hair.
"What happened? I thought you got better...," I could barely understand her. I thought I was better too... I couldn't say the words to her.
Her sadness was replaced by anger, she sat up with her cold eyes. "Why, Raena!? Why did you do this!"
"Mom, I'm sorry! I didn't want this to happen!"
"Then why did you do it?! I can't take this, Raena! It's too much! How many times now? Three?! I can't handle the fear every time the phone rings, I'm scared they'll tell me you're dead," she started sobbing again. "The doctors told me your heart had stopped... Raena... Oh my god," she cried.
"Mom, I swear this was the last time. I'll never do it again! I don't want to die, I promise! Please mom! Please!," I begged her.
She shook her head and blew her nose," Raena, it's not enough anymore! I can't take it! You went to rehab and everything!"
"I'll go back mom! I'll go back, I promise," the tears roll out faster. I didn't want you to find out.
"You can't! I haven't even paid off the first time, and their kicking you out of school! I got the call, you're expelled," she blew her nose again.
Expelled? Oh shit! That's bad...
"I can get my GED online, mom. It's just like a diploma," I wanted to comfort her, but nothing would help. I knew it all too well.
"No!," she said it fiercely. "No! No more excuses! You can't live here, not after this!"
"Mom...," my heart broke," You're kicking me out?"
She wiped her tears away," No Raena, I love you. I'm not kicking you out, but you can't live here, not in this city. It's too much for you, the temptation is too great, it's toxic. I... I called Charlie," she waited for my response.
"Charlie?" My uncle Charlie? Who lives in Montana or some shit?
"My brother," she held my hand in hers and knelt down beside the bed. "He misses you... and I think it'd be best if you went out to see him."
"To see Charlie? Mom... You can't be serious! I promise, I really do, I promise it won't happen again. I'll go to school and study, get good grades. I'll never touch it again!"
"Raena...," her voice is low and coarse from crying. "You can't go to school and you can't live here. Too many bad memories and bad people around you. This will be a fresh start, no one there will know you. It'll be good," she gave a sad smile. "You can go to a new school and make new friends, good friends."
"You want to send me away?," my voice cracked.
"No, baby, I don't want to send you away."
"Good, because I can stay here. I promise mom," I pleaded.
"Raena, you need to go. It's what's best, until I can get a transfer somewhere else. It's only temporary and I'll come visit you," she clenched my hand tighter. "Please, Raena..."
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