A/N: I apologize if this chapter seems kinda short. It functions more as an introduction to the situation and it seemed longer when I originally typed it out than when I actually uploaded it here. We here at Kokorozek Studios hope you enjoy this story regardless.

Chapter 1: The Creepy New Girl

It was the first day of school at Elmore Junior High. Normally, given the overall depressing atmosphere and existential dread washing over them due to the prospect of actually being back in school after summer vacation, Gumball Watterson and his adopted goldfish brother Darwin would be trying their damnedest to avoid having to use their brains at all, as a method of staying sane through the endless screed of lectures that came at the beginning of the year. Usually, this involved sleeping in class, which was far easier for Darwin to accomplish, when he remembered that he was a fish and could thus sleep with his eyes open, therefor not drawing any attention.

Or at least, that's what they would have been doing. True, they were still avoiding class, but only because principle Brown had given them a different assignment to occupy them. This task in question involved escorting a new student around the school, which the principle thought they could handle easily, given how well they handled escorting the last new student, a certain living ice cream person named Sarah G Lato. Gumball and Darwin were unable to get a word in about the consequences of that operation before being shoved off to tour the school with this new girl.

"Anyways," said Gumball with a barely suppressed yawn, "that over there is Banana Joe. He's got a raspy voice and his peel functions like clothes, kinda, except when they dont."

"Isn't he supposed to be in class?" questioned Darwin. "For that matter, why is everyone else roaming the halls when there's class going on? I thought us not being in class was kind of a big deal?"

"Darwin, I told you already, they only appear like this for as long as the story needs to introduce them, then they'll materialize back in class. Dont ask me how, that's just the way things work." With that, Darwin gave a defeated shrug, allowing Gumball to continue blithering on about the various students and faculty to the new girl.

Marley, the girl in question, was largely ignoring Gumball's words, while simultaneously trying her hardest to take them in and savor the sound of them. A sort of cat-like creature with pitch black fur and a similar physiology to the blue cat guiding her, she was far less interested in the actual words Gumball was saying and far more interested in his physical attributes. From the moment she saw him, staring at Gumball with a lustful expression was pretty much the only thing Marley was capable of doing, save for a few "uhuhs" and head nods when Gumball told her information. She was also barely able to keep her face looking somewhat normal, and not default to a look of arousal, and even then there were bits of drool that escaped every now and then. Not that it helped, because everybody who saw her could tell that she was acting weird.

Everyone, that is, except for Gumball himself, who continued to bask in the bliss of not having to be in gym class at the moment.

"And that over there," he said, pointing to a conspicuous hole in the ground that led to the earth's core, "is why you dont put banana peels in front of the coach."

"Waaaaiiit, I thought coach being out of commission was a good thing cuz we got 3 weeks off of gym?" asked Darwin

"Actually I'm pretty sure all classes were canceled and we kinda had to evacuate town due to the sudden upsurge of magma that had been building up beneath Elmore for thousands of years. Come to think of it, it's amazing how quickly we cleaned that up."

The black cat finally took her shining golden eyes off of Gumball momentarily, if only to giggle. "Oh, dont worry," she softly spoke in an attempt to sound sexy, "I'm sure those cleaning skills will come in handy once we're...together~"

Marley's flirtatious remarks were simply met with Gumball staring at her blankly for 30 seconds. "Eh, usually I'm pretty lazy about cleaning things up, so dont count on it. Ask Darwin how long it took me to clean up that half eaten yogurt from under the bed."

"That's a trick question, you NEVER cleaned that up. It's still sitting there. Festering. Plus, it's starting to glow in the dark and whisper things in Cantonese." Darwin shivered at the prospect of the yogurt mutating anywhere beyond that.

"Huh, maybe I SHOULD get rid of it."

The pitch black feline seemed to entirely block out that part of the conversation, and positioned herself as to lean against the lockers in front of Gumball. "I guess that just means our only option is for you to lick us clean. Whadda say?"

Another effort at being sultry met with another blank stare. "What, the yogurt? There's no way in a million years I'm going to eat that! Not after it's grown into a sentient and possibly hostile life form. Besides, it's orange flavor, I hate that."

Undeterred, Marley scooted closer to the object of her desire. "No silly! All you have to lick clean are the products of love...if you get what I mean."

"Products of...ah, twinkies! Everyone knows that twinkies are basically concentrated love, sugar, and diabetes rolled into a cream filled cake! Do you have any on you perchance?"

Marley scooted even closer and prepared to make another attempt at expressing her emotions to the fullest extent, but just as she opened her mouth she found the space between her and the boy she loved suddenly cut off by the face of a certain orange walking goldfish.

"Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind if I steal him away for a bit?" asked Darwin, then dragged Gumball down the hall before Marley had a chance to respond.

"What was that all about buddy?" asked Gumball, once the two were sufficiently far away

"Um...have you noticed something, oh, I dont know, strange about this lady?"

"Well, her color-scheme kinda clashes, and she looks way to similar to me body-wise to really stand out as an original character, but otherwise she seems okay to me. Why?"

"Oh, nothing, just the fact that she's been doing practically nothing but drool over you and use terrible inuendos for the past half hour?" To make his case, Darwin gestured at the girl in question, who was in the process of blowing Gumball a kiss.

Gumball, however, merely shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, I guess some of that is a little weird, but considering we share a class with multiple pieces of sentient food, sentient inanimate objects, actual ghosts, and a tyrannosaurus, her quirks are kinda mundane in comparison."

"Fair point, but dont you remember the last time a new kid obsessed over us? Not only did we have to go through that stupid tennis match, but you nearly shoved my head into a rotating fan!"

"Relax little buddy." He patted Darwin's head as though he was a pet, "She's been here half an hour and not one major disaster has happened. Usually this sort of thing happens in the space of 11 minutes. So I think we're safe."

"What if this is one of those hour long specials?" Darwin pointed out.

Gumball took a moment to consider this, since the last time they had a two parter it resulted in everyone he loved getting killed by a former background character, before quickly reasoning to Darwin that there was no way a world this fluffy and cute was going to have that dark of a storyline again. With that, he walked off, much to his friend's annoyance.

"What do you even plan to do about her?" he asked in an irate tone.

"Obviously," said Gumball, "I'm going to introduce this Marley chick to my girlfriend Penny! Surely they'll be able to bond over their mutual fascination with me, and nothing could go wrong, nor result in any long lasting consequences for any of us!"

Darwin prepared to give a blistering retort, but decided that it wasn't worth it and buried his face in his hands. This was gonna be another one of those days, and he didn't feel like sticking around to watch the school get destroyed over Gumball's dumb antics.

But hey, at least they'd probably learn some valuable moral in the end. Like "the grass is always greener" or "Croatians should be killed on sight" or "Rob Schneider is the reason why God abandoned us", or something stupid like that.