To Vegas We Go
by WSJ & Eruntale

WSJ: Eruntale and I got really bored one day, and I suggested we do a round robin. :p This is the rather insane result. ^^;

Disclaimer: We don't own YGO, but we own ourselves.

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Chapter 1: Mind Control and the Need for Hot Water

"..." Ryou stared at the horror in front of him. Caught between two teens was a strangled (or in the process of being strangled, at least) Mokuba with both girls claiming rights over him. Wingleader Sora Jade, or WSJ, was on the left, one arm wrapped around Mokuba's neck, effectively cutting off the air supply and causing him to turn a lovely shade of bluish-purpl-y. On his right was Eruantale, clinging for dear life to his waist while attempting to pry WSJ's arm away to no avail. Both authoresses were snarling at each other, trying to claim the younger Kaiba for their own. "He's MINE!" they both hissed at the same time all the while leering at each other.

Seto Kaiba cleared his throat slightly and stepped forward. "Could you kindly not strangle my brother?" Both girls turned to Seto and growled, muttering something that seemed like,"Tricksy thief..." Over to one side, Bakura and Malik stood twitching as WSJ turned back to Mokuba and hissed "My preeeeccccciiiiousssss..."
Ryou twitched, sighed (mushroom sigh!) and muttered, "I told you that you were a bad influence on her, yami..."
"Hey, is it /my/ fault she watched the Fellowship of the Ring extended DVD for eight hours on end?"
"No..." Ryou replied calmly, "but you are a thief who has a certain obsession over a golden "ring" and mutters 'My preciouss...' to it from time to time."
Bakura glared at his aibou as Malik tried to smother laughter. "Hey, I'm not the one who made it round and circly, or who named it the Ring!"

"But, see, that's not the problem; it isn't necessarily your fault that you let Itsuji watch the Fellowship of the Ring for eight hours...but that you watched it all with her," stated Ryou.

"And don't forget the sugar." Malik added.
Bakura sizzled and turned red from anger before launching a full-on attack on his hikari. "Oh yeah? What about this?! Didn't you start this whole thing with the Mokuba-strangling anyway?"
Ryou threw up his hands to protect himself, but Bakura's hands closed around his neck. "Me?" he squeaked. "What'd I do?"
Malik started popping popcorn and grabbing junk food when an accusation reached his ears; a frantic Ryou did what he never would've- blamed someone else. "Malik's the one who suggested a get-together! He said to bring Mokuba along! I did nothing but that!"
By now the argument/attack had reached even the Mokuba-distracted ears of the two authoresses, and WSJ frowned. "I don't know if I should let them alone and turn this into a Ryou-angst fic later, or do something about it..." she murmured so only Mokuba and Eruantale could hear.Mokuba looked up anxiously and nodded hoping WSJ would do something about it, but Eruantale thought otherwise. "I say we drop a few eaves and see what happens. Who wouldn't go for some Ryou-angst? I get to have Mokuba though." She grinned deviously.
"No way, baka onna!" WSJ growled, going back to tugging on Mokuba.
Eruantale jerked back and muttered between breaths with Mokuba silently pleading for mercy. "Suit...yourself- take...the hard way then..."
"Yeah, this'll be /real/ hard..." SJ said sarcastically, kicking Eruantale smartly in the shin.

"Itai! Yo, watch it, girl!" Yet Eruantale still would not let go. "Malik! MALIK, DANGIT! DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU TERRANCE! GET THE WATER!"

WSJ laughed as Malik ran up toting a pitcher of water, and Bakura paused in his Ryou-torture to smack his forehead. "Idiot..."

"AIIEE! NOT AT HER, BAKA!" But before she could stop him, Malik had splashed the water for who knows why, and in a final, desperate attempt, Eruantale jumped in front of WSJ.

Both got soaked, and WSJ began to giggle.
With a sigh Eruantale saw she'd gotten a lot shorter and more... Well endowed.

"Crap," she muttered...and stopped for a second. "Double crap," she distinctly yelled...in a much deeper voice for the oddest reason. "MAAAAAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK!"

Amazon-SJ thought this was hilarious, and fell over laughing, dragging Mokuba onto the floor with her. "SJ think E-chan turn into man!"

Eruantale whirled around shooting SJ a glare. "I'll get back to you." And before Malik knew it, there was a hole in the wall where just before he was standing. He 'eep'ed and began to run.

"Did I every say to toss the water? Nooooo. Did I ever say to swing it at SJ-chan?! No! THEN WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THIS?! REPENT, FREAKING EGYPTIAN! REPENT!" Eruantale had almost caught up with Malik when he swung around holding something very long and shiny up.

WSJ was on top of him so quickly with her bonbouri, he never even had a chance. He was laying on the floor with a lump on his head within about two seconds. WSJ giggled and gave Eruntale a peace-sign from where she was sitting on Malik's back. "SJ save crazy authoress lady-man."
Eruantale sighed before giving her a grin. "Well...that was close," she muttered, eyeing the Millennium Rod nervously. "Now all I need is some hot water." At that moment, Isis popped her head in...with her hair wrapped up in a towel. "That won't be happening. I just took a nice long bath, so there won't be any hot water for a while."

WSJ laughed at the expression on Eruantale's face and clapped her hands. "SJ no mind! SJ like own cursed form."

"Well, I don't happen to like mine," Eruantale growled while twitching a bit. "I'm going to be stuck as a guy for HOW long? Augh...I swear..." From the ground, Malik groaned and tried to get a good grip on his Millennium Item and reality. WSJ leaned over and tapped him on the nose. "Crazy Rod-boy wake up now?"

Moaning, he looked up at her and mumbled, "I know you know my name, so could you be kind enough to JUST USE IT?!" His face hit the floor again when Eruantale lightly stepped on his head with one foot. "Well. If it isn't 'Rod-boy'." He(?) smirked as Malik groaned again...

WSJ giggled as she pointed to the people around her and gave their names for them. "Rod-Boy, Authoress-Man, Moku-chan, Blind Telepath Boy, Hottie-Evil-Yami-Person," Bakura raised an eyebrow at this, as did Ryou.

Yami Yuugi stuck his head in on hearing the last name. "Did someone call me? I'd prefer not being called evil, please."

Eruantale gave him a jaded look before rolling his(??) eyes. "I'd say yes if it weren't for the fact that I'd scare the hieroglyphs out of you because you're seeing a 'guy' say that to you. Slash rules FF.net with an iron fist, and any implication of yaoi can and will be used against me in court of reviews."

WSJ giggled. "Yaoi is EVIL! I say. EVIL!!!!!"

"You have that one right. Same goes for yuri," Eruantale muttered as Yami Yuugi gaped at him(???) in a confused manner. "...Last time I checked...you were a girl...should I be yelling Egyptian obscenities now...?"

WSJ looked up at him with innocent, sparkling chibi-eyes and said "^@%&%$&@^&%$*???????"

Yami, Bakura and Ishtar each jumped back about three feet. "Since when can she cuss in Egyptian???" Bakura asked.

"In Inpw hnc Rc rn.w! Mdw dw.t?! Ntr.w! In Km.t..." Eruantale suddenly blurted, throwing up his (????) hands. All the Egyptians stared at the two as if they'd gone mad except Yami Yuugi who had a guile look on his face...

"What?" Seto asked, feeling slightly forgotten. "What did they say??"

"Ai, Hm-ntr Seito...mdw r3-n-km.t...ít-ntr frgtn?" Yami Yuugi replied, smirking as he swung his arm over Seto's shoulder in a friendly manner. "A real pity, Seto. Really. Can't even remember the language you used to speak with me and used to betray me," he admonished again. Totally bewildered, Seto just stared at Yami Yuugi with a gaping mouth. Bakura was snickering and shaking his head. "That's one for Yami... Nothing for Seto."

Yami's satirical smile faded, and he mockingly played around with Seto a bit more. "But then again, you didn't mean to, did you? All of you were behind me the whole time, remember? I mean, sure, the whole 'use the ka of the people to create a stronger force' was all for the good wasn't it? Or did pride get the better of you and make you decide that the Millennium Rod wasn't enough? Hm?" A silence followed after that before Yami Yuugi started chuckling in that chilling way of his.

Seto shuddered, and Malik clutched the Rod to his chest. "Mine."

"You're supposed to play along!" Yami harshly whispered to Seto.

"Play along with /what/?" Seto whispered back. "All I see is an insane ex-pharoah."

Yami's face darkened evilly. Through gritted teeth he muttered, the volume of his voice gradually rising like a storm raging at sea. "I'll tell you what after I banish you TO THE SHADOW REALM AND DRY-BEAT YOUR BODY!" Seto paled noticeably.

He pulled out of Yami's arms (mind out'a the gutter people!) and hid behind... Bakura.
"Bakura! Please, please, please DUEL HIM FOR ME SO YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO SEND HIM TO THE SHADOW REALM! PLEASE!" Seto yelped while Bakura glared at him...amusedly? "Heck, no! You duel the nutcase Pharoah yourself."

Seto whimpered. "Me? But I had to threaten suicide to beat him last time..."

"Is that my problem? No. Go hire someone else to do your work for you," Bakura retorted and moved out of the way as Yami Yuugi advanced on Seto's huddled form.

"You don't know the meaning of pain yet, Seto...." He grinned deviously before...

Turning around on his heel, flicking the TV on. "Nooooooooooo! NOT INFOMERCIALS! ANYTHING BUT THAT, YAMI!"

Ryou's eyes widened and began to sparkle as he stared at the pretty swirly colours in the infomercial for laundry detergent. "It's preeeettttyyyy..." he mumbled dreamily while sticking a videotape in to record.

"Hey! That's my Flat-Abs-In-Six-Hours tape!" Malik yelled angrily before blushing. "Uh...did I just say that?" Eyes were either on the love-struck Ryou or the bamboozled (love that word!) Malik.

"What happened to us?" Eruantale asked quietly. "I thought we were the protagonists?"
"Dunno," WSJ chirped happily. "Lookie what SJ found!" She held up the Rod, which was glowing and obviously in use.

Eruantale gawked at the Item. "Di-...Wh-...Are you actually using that?" He frantically looked around at all the mayhem. "B-but on who?!"

WSJ's grin turned evil. "You."
In split seconds Eruantale went through a wide range of expressions- everything from surprise and fear to confusion.

SJ chuckled evilly. "SJ say Authoress-Man jump off cliff, Authoress-Man do it. But SJ no want Authoress-Man to die... Yet. Go find candy for SJ!"

Without a word, Eruantale turned towards...where he thought the kitchen was, anyway, but rather haltingly, as if he were hesitant about something.

Mokuba looked hard at WSJ. "SJ, are you being naughty again?" WSJ hid the Rod behind her back. "No?" Mokuba glanced at her suspiciously before shrugging and looking back toward the chaos in the room.

A hungry Yuugi found his way down to the kitchen, but he didn't find what he thought he would; he leaned over to look at the face of the man bent down searching the drawers. "Who in the world are /you/?"

Eruntale looked up with a zombie-like expression on his face and said in mono-tone, "I SJ's slave. Must get candy."

"Well, she hasn't done anything for your grammar, that's for sure..." Yuugi muttered. Eruantale shook his head and looked at him again. "Yuugi? Aw, crud. What happened? Where's that SJ?" He shook his head again slightly before returning to searching the drawers.

Yuugi looked at him oddly, before mentally connecting to his yami. /Yami? What the heck is happening here?/
A halting and rather terse reply was given. {Concerning /what/ exactly, Yuugi? I'm trying to kill Seto here, so make it quick.}

Yuugi leaned over to glance at Eruantale again and gave his query. /Who has current posession of the Millennium Rod? It seems there's a long and dark haired man in here who seems to be the under its influence. If you really need proof, he's got the whole "soulless eyes" look and has that creepy third eye of yours on his forehead...

And stop trying to kill Seto! Really, Yami./

{Aibou! You're no fun at all!} Yami pouted. {Rod... Rod... Well, Malik is now hypnotized by the models on an exercise machine infomercial, but he doesn't have the Rod. Now where's Ish- AHA! SJ has it! Oh Ra no! Don't point it at m-}

/Yami? Yami?!

...

...

crud./

Yuugi sighed. "Great. Here goes nothing." Yuugi grabbed Eruantale by the arm and started trying to drag him back into the living room as Eruantale frantically grabbed for the nearest sugary item to fulfill his master's bidding, at the least. Yugi entered a scene of absolute chaos. WSJ had managed to find hot water (heaven knows where) and had changed herself back to normal. The living room had become a three-ring circus. Seto and Yami were wrestling on the floor, Ishtar and Bakura were sword fighting, and Ryou was sitting next to WSJ in a kinky leather outfit with a chain around his neck. Was it coincidence that the other end of the chain was in WSJ's hand, while the Rod was in the other? I think not.

"My god!" Yugi screeched, stopping dead. "Are those /real/ swords???"

Malik sighed from on the couch. "Actually, they're the swords from the museum exhibit, so they might as well be real."

Seto had finally pinned Yami on the ground. "Dang Pharaoh! You can't even get over your own dad's magic?! It's SJ for crying out loud! SORA JADE! It's just her and the stupid Rod you said I used to use! Snap out of it, Mr. So-Called-King of Games!" Of course, over clashing metal and infomercials, it was all drowned out much to Seto's annoyance as he was again kicked off. From the couch, he mumbled, "This just isn't my day..."
Over by Yuugi, Eruantale stood constantly shaking his head as if totally confused.

Bakura was off to one side totally laughing his butt off, and SJ smiled at him sweetly. "I could always find you some leathers that Ryou's not using." Ryou was, as noted, chained at SJ's side, and, since he wasn't really going anywhere, wasn't under the Rod's control. Even still, Yuugi was rather befuddled by all this- especially Ryou. "Bakura! No, not you! Hey, why are you just...sitting there?! In leather! With a chain around your neck! Well?!"

Ryou sweatdropped. "SJ has some, er, *cough* incriminating photos of me... I have to do what she says, or she'll put them all over the internet..."
Yuugi sweatdropped as he face faulted to the ground. He looked around annoyed at all that was happening until something struck him. "Where the heck is that guy?"

"Which one?" Ryou asked dryly.
"The one who was right behind me!"
"Eruantale?" SJ asked, looking over at them lazily. "More candy." She giggled, waggled her fingers at them, and brandished the Rod.
"Uh...actually, maybe not..." Yuugi stammered as he watched wide-eyed at what was about to happen. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!" Something crashed to the ground pinning SJ to the floor and tugging Ryou along.

WSJ looked at who was pinning her down, then half-grinned, half-groaned.
"Brood, get /off/..."
"Wait a sec...what made you think I was Brood?" a masculine voice inquired all the while tugging at Malik's Millennium Item.

"WAAAAAHOOOOOO!" Another thud was heard as the actual Brood landed on both of them.

"&#%(*&!^*()&#%^%~!!!!!!!!!" SJ let out a string of Egyptian profanities as she was squished under both of them. "GET OFF!!!!!!!!"

"Not until you give me the freaking Rod, /nb/!" Eruantale yelled with a satirical edge to the last Egyptian part. "I'm no b3k.t of yours! Or a b3k at that, either! HAND IT OVER!"

"NO!!!" And all of a sudden, Eruantale was being dog-piled on by Yami, Bakura, and Ishtar. Unfortunately, WSJ was still under Eruantale.

Groans were heard as SJ, Eruantale, and Brood found themselves stuck under the three yamis. Unfortunately (or is that fortunately?), Eruantale had managed to gain possession of the Millennium Rod. "FINALLY! All of you, OFF!"

WSJ & Brood pulled each other to their feet as the yamis scuttled for cover from the rampaging Eruantale. The glare wiped off his face as he sighed. "OK...where exactly is the hot water?"

WSJ attempted to look innocent. "Um... Somewhere?"

Eruantale narrowed his eyes at her and hissed menacingly, "I am not one normally for something so unethical as mind control...but I will resort to it if I must. Where is it?"

WSJ sweatdropped and fidgeted, half-hiding behind Ryou and Brood. "I, um, used it all..."
"You...you..." The words trickled out like a rusty faucet clogged up with a penguin. Suddenly, Eruantale started chuckling before full out laughing senselessly, gripping the Rod as if his life depended on it. WSJ whimpered and slid down further behind Ryou, pulling his head back because of the chain around his neck. "Help! She's gone insane!"
"Insane?" Eruantale turned back around with a smirk on his face. "Insane? Maybe...infinitely worse for you then. Beware the Shakespearean quotes; the only warning I can give you."

"I'll give you Shakespeare." WSJ said, grinning hesitantly.

"I found a little snowball,
As perfect as can be.
I thought I'd keep it for a pet,
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas,
And a pillow for its head.
But last night it ran away...
But first it wet the bed!" WSJ stopped, seeing the look on Eruntale's face.
"By my heel, I care not," a voice interrupted before Eruantale could retort. "Well...too late now. There you have it. Aurora Sing, Shakespeare obsessive," Eruantale informed the clueless.

"What wouldst thou have with me...?"

WSJ blinked, twitched, then blinked again. "Um... The only one I can think of is...'Two houses, alike in dignity'...?"
"'In fair Verona (where we lay our scene)'...you missed the 'both', but that doesn't matter." Aurora thrust a script into WSJ's hands and went on to hand the whole YGO cast a script. "Because we're on Act III, Scene i." WSJ scratched her head as she looked at the script. "If I play Juliet... Can Ryou be my Romeo?" (Of course, the hikari in question sweatdropped at this).

Aurora sighed (mushroom sigh!) and muttered, "Dream on..."

"Isis? Are you willing to be Juliet?" she yelled upstairs. "And who'd be your Romeo of choice

Isis came downstairs and looked around at the assembled guys. She sweatdropped. "Could we pull Shaadi in from Egypt?"

Immediately, Seto and Yami Yuugi stepped forward angrily, shouting in unison, "WHAT, AM I NOT SEXY ENOUGH FOR YOU?!" before staring at each other and blushing from the looks they got.

"Um...." Isis sweatdropped. "In a word, no. Too young for me." Seto pouted, but Yami just looked confused, seeing as he was over five-thousand.

"I don't see the problem then..." Yami trailed absently not noticing the glares being sent from all around (well, excepting Yuugi and Ryou, of course- what could upset them?). "Um.... What?" he asked. At this point, Aurora rolled her eyes and whacked Yami Yuugi upside the head. "She doesn't want you, dang it!" Yami frowned, and Aurora suddenly remembered that he used to be a pharaoh.
"Well... MaybeIdon'twanthereither," he said in a rush, averting his eyes. "I want... Someone else." Eyes started closing in on Yami Yuugi, and he started to fidget nervously. "LOOK! THE PHAROAH FIDGETED! OOC!" someone yelled. Off to one side, WSJ, who is temporarily forgotten, leans against the wall and snickers, tossing the Millenium Eye back and forth between her hands. "I knew it was a good idea to get pick-pocket lessons from Bakura. Now, to put it in or not to put it in... Hm, wrong Shakespeare."

"Well, I'd say not to. I think I could tolerate the pain better," Malik noted casually while filing his nails. He was sitting on the ground at her feet in a bored manner. "It's for a good cause, ya know. I get to be pharaoh, the world lives in turmoil, Isis stops bugging me..."

WSJ raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Are you saying I'm not strong enough to be pharoah if I wanted to? There were plenty of Egyptian queens! Nefertiti and Tiye, just to name two."

"Maybe I am. But you know, you don't want to be like Hatshepsut or Cleopatra. One committed suicide and the other insisted on being called a man," Malik noted with a smirk.

WSJ's face grew purple in rage. "I'LL SHOW YOU MALIK!!!!" Her shout caught everyone's attention, and they turned toward the pair just as Malik leaped to his feet and dove at WSJ, who was attempting to bring the Eye toward her face. Just when everyone thought Malik was doing it purely out of fear and care for SJ, he screeched, "IT'S MINE, DANG IT! MINE, I SAY! GIVE IT!"

There was a collective "sweatdropping" {eh?!} as Yami muttered, "That was just so heartfelt, I could die."

"Yours?" Bakura asked. "/I/ had it! Dang you SJ!!!!!" He then jumped into the small dust cloud brawl that had formed around Malik and SJ. Where the Eye would end up, no one knew.

Aurora didn't looked worried at all; in fact, she beamed and casually noted, "Ah, well I guess we can start at Act I, Scene i then! The brawl in the Streets of Verona. How perfect." No one noticed the grin turn into a malicious smirk.

Ishtar sweatdropped. "Sorry Aurora, this isn't Verona. And isn't anyone worried that one of them actually might wiend up with the Eye in their head?"
Yami, Seto and he exchanged glances, horrified.
Aurora sighed, rubbing her temples. "Fine, fine. Someone here doesn't know the meaning of a SET, but whatever." With that, she disappeared into the dust cloud and joined in with the brawl.

"Set?" Yami asked, confused. "Like the god?" Just then a scream was heard from the dust cloud.

The dust started to settle, but it was still hard to see. Yami and the rest who were not in the fight watched with apprehension, wondering if someone had..."inserted" the Eye. "YOU PERVE!"
"I'M SORRY!" The dust settled further to reveil WSJ sitting on top of Malik, her hands wrapped tightly around his neck. Aurora was looking vaguely annoyed, and Bakura was laughing his butt off.
"BAKA!!!" WSJ yelled. "I should shove the Rod so far up your butt that it'll come out your mouth!!!"
"What'd he do?" Eruntale asked Aurora in a low voice.
"Obviously, he tried to grab her butt or something, but he sounds like he did it on accident," she replied, shrugging. "Oh well. Back to ordering people around like I do. You! Blonde kid! Yeah, you, under SJ! You're Tybalt. Hey, baka! Is that all you do?! Laugh?! Back away from the Rod, psycho!" And out of the blue, the doorbell rang. WSJ, who was suddenly distracted by the ringy thing, jumped off of Malika and ran to the door. She pulled it open, and when she saw who was on the other side, her eyes got big and she let out a loud "WAI!" She then glomped the unfortunate person, who turned out to be none other then Maximillion Pegasus. (Or Pegasus J. Crawford as the Japanese say)

Immediately, Yami Yuugi, Seto, Mokuba, Joey...and almost everyone else was on their guard. "Ack! Where's his Eye?!" was the msot common phrase.
"Gah! No, please, don't! I don't want it back!" exclaimed the surprised Pegasus, backing away slowly.
WSJ blinked. "No? Okay then!" She made a little ^^ face and stuck the Eye in her pocket before grabbing him around the waist again. Slightly sweatdropping, Pegasus chuckled nervously, giving the others the "Help me, I don't know who she is; never had a fangirl glomp me!" look (if there ever was one).
Of course, no one helped him. Bakura and Yami started snickering. Pegasus just shot them a glare over SJ's head and mouthed 'she's an authoress, isn't she?' in an accusing sort of manner. Eruantale smirked and nodded until he noticed something that Pegasus had...Bakura choked and stopped laughing when Eruntale elbowed him in the stomach, eyes narrowed. "Why the hell does he have a chibi Mokuba keychain tied to his belt?" Pegasus wiggled, trying to get out of SJ's grasp, and more keychains came into veiw, causing everyone to sweatdrop. Lots of little chibi-keychains of themselves were hanging from Pegasus's belt and peeking out of his pockets.

There was a stuneed reply in unison. "Pegasus...what in the world is all that?!"

"Well...you see...uh..." A tight situation grasped Pegasus. "Um...well...you know...merchandise...for...uh...Vegas...yah."WSJ's eyes widened in that unmistakeable look of mischeif she was famous for. "Vegas! Yay! Let's go! Right now even! It /is/ spring break!!!" She turned to Eruantale for support. "I'll bet they have hot water there!"

"Well, my spring break doesn't start unti- wait. HOT WATER?!" Eruantale was out the door in a flash, dragging Yami and Bakura along. "COME ON, DANG IT!"
WSJ grinned and ran after him, dragging the rest of the cast with her. "Wai! Vacation time!" The only one left was a stunned Isis standing at the foot of the stairs who ran after them shortly. "WAIT FOR ME!"

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WSJ: ^__^ Chapter two should be out soon. :p E-chan and I had a lot of fun with this.

God bless minna-san!