Category: Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel

Rating: PG, and ES for Extremely Silly

Summary: Prank phone calls are fun.

Spoilers: None. Probably season 2 of Angel and season 5 of Buffy... before Riley and Lindsey leave.

Disclaimer: Honestly, do you really think Buffy would be dating Riley if they belonged to me? They're not mine, They're Joss's. No money involved.
Old MacDonald…

Lindsey MacDonald walked through the parking garage calmly. Work had been quiet, and he was headed home for food and sleep, which both sounded very, very nice.

That's when his cell phone rang.


"Yes, I'd like a super-sized number three, hold the mayo, but pile the pickles. A large diet coke, and can I get some extra fries with that, please?"

"Excuse me?" Lindsey asked into his cell phone.

"Oh! And a salad shaker, too!"


The Hyperian Hotel…

In Angel's office, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, and Xander sat around the large desk. Scattered around them were different types of sugar and caffeine. The Scooby Gang had traveled to LA to deal with another global threat that Angel and Bat-Crew of Cordelia, Gunn and Wesley couldn't handle alone.

Willow, Buffy, Xander and Cordelia were, most definitely, hyper.

Buffy could barely keep a straight face as she spoke into the phone.

"Oh! And how about a McFlurry, too please!"

"I think you have the wrong number," Lindsey replied.

"No," Buffy said innocently. "This is MacDonald's, right?"

"Um… no, I'm sorry. This is a private cell phone."

"Wow!" Buffy replied. "Does that mean you all do delivery now? That's great! Please send it to the third crypt on the right of the Restfield Cemetery in Sunnydale."


"Spike?" Xander whispered.

Buffy shrugged.

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." With that, he hung up.

"Aw, he hung up," Buffy whimpered.

"Here, let me try!" Xander cried, snatching the phone from Buffy. He dialed up Lindsey's cell phone number again.

"MacDonald," said Lindsey's voice.

"Yes," Xander replied. "I am looking for a Seymour Butts?"

The three girls cackled as quietly as they could manage, and Xander tried very hard not to burst.


"A Seymour Butts!" Xander repeated. "Or an I. P. Freely?"

Willow squeaked, and covered her mouth.

Cordelia snatched the phone. "How about Amanda Hugnkiss?"

Buffy fell out of Angel's chair.

Out in the lobby, Wesley, Gunn, Angel, Tara, Giles, Anya and Riley were researching the latest threat to the world.

Angel looked suspiciously at the door to his office. "What are they doing in there?"

Giles shrugged. "I thought they were going to look at your books to see if there was something that might help up."

"They took sugar in there, didn't they?" Tara asked.

"I believe so," Giles replied.

"Uh-Oh," Riley muttered.

Gunn turned to Angel. "How is it that you hang out with such lunatics, yet, you seem completely calm and normal?"

"Talent," Angel replied. "Tremendous talent."
"How about an Al Caholic?!" Willow cried into the phone.

The other three burst out laughing, and Lindsey hung up, yet again.

"Damn," Willow said. "He hung up again!"

Xander snatched the phone and pressed redial.

"WHAT?!" Lindsey cried into the phone.

"Old McDonald had a firm. E-I-E-I Oh! And on this farm he had a… umm… what did he have?"

"A Spike!" Willow cried.

"He doesn't even know Spike!"


Lindsey glared. "Who is this?"

"It's… uh… This is… I mean… Who am I?"

Cordelia snatched the phone. "I'm Angel! Listen to me brood!!"

Lindsey heard three other voices crack up in the background.
The singing from the office got the group in the lobby officially scared.

"Maybe someone should check on them," Wesley suggested.

"Yeah," Angel replied. "I think I'm gonna." He got up and walked over to the door of the office.

"… And in his firm he had a Darla, E-I-E-I Oh!! With a bite-bite here, and bite-bite there, here a bite, there a bite, everywhere a bite-bite, old McDonald had a firm, E-I-E-I Oh!!"

Angel backed away. "On second thought… I don't wanna know."
Willow almost spat out the mouthful of snickers she had.

"…And in his firm he had an Angel E-I-E-I oh! With a brood-brood here, and a brood-brood there. Here a brood, there a brood, everywhere a brood-brood, old McDonald had a firm. E-I-E-I Oh!!"

"The end!" Buffy said into the phone after finishing her song. "hello? Damn!! Hung up again!"

Angel pocked his head inside the office. "Guys?"

"Angel!" Buffy squeaked from his chair. "Come on in! We're having so much fun!"

Willow held up a bag of Frosted Mini-Wheats to Angel. "Want some?"

"Uh… no thanks. Are you guys okay?"

"We're Juuuust peachy!" Cordelia replied.

Angel looked at the receiver in his best friend's hand. "Cordelia, what are you doing?"

"I'm making a business call!"


"Nobody," Cordelia replied innocently.

"Cordelia," Angel said sternly. "Who were you calling?"

"Nobody," Buffy repeated for Cordelia. "Speaking of calling, Mr. LA PI-"

"What?" Xander asked. "I P?!"

The four friends cracked up.

After Buffy had regained some composure (but not much), she turned back to Angel. "You never call me."

"Uhh…" Angel blinked in confusion.

"Y'know, phone? ringy-dingy?" Buffy asked, snatching the receiver from Cordelia and waving it in Angel's face.

That's when they heard the front door to the hotel slam. "All right!! Where are they! Who is driving me nuts?!"

Wesley got up off the couch to greet Lindsey. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Somebody here has been prank-calling me, I traced it to here! I wanna know who."

Angel came out of this office, and stared at Lindsey harshly. "What do you want?"

"You!" Lindsey cried. "It was you wasn't it?! You've been driving me nuts, prank-calling my cell phone, haven't you?! You cut off my hand, and then you try to drive me clinically insane!!"

Angel blinked, and leaned a little bit back into the office. "You guys are awful."

Lindsey Cell phone rang again. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"Chicken McNuggets?" Willow said innocently into the receiver.

"AH!" Lindsey threw the cell phone to the floor.

"Here, let me help you with that," Angel said. He picked up an axe that was sitting on a table, and sliced the phone in half. "All done."

"That'll be twenty bucks for our services!" Cordelia cried from inside the office. She cracked up along with her friends.

Lindsey glared at Angel. "I'll get you if it's that last thing I do." With that, he stalked to the door.

"Have a nice day!" Gunn called from the couch.

Buffy turned to her three friends. "Who's next?"

Willow laughed. "How about Darla?"