Operation Just Because

Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer to disclaim the disclaimer that I claimed that I disclaimed what I previously did not disclaim but perhaps should have disclaimed. So I disclaim what I did not claim but do not claim that which I disclaim. That which I claim to disclaim is another question all together. Suffice to say that this disclaimer is a claim to disclaim that, which needs to be disclaim but not disclaim or claim that, which does not need to be claimed or disclaimed. Simple.

Setting: New York, New York. So good they named it twice. Or alternatively so bad they warn you twice. Either way works for me, at minimum wage as well. I should perhaps warn you at this point. Warning. Okay, now that is done onto the story…

The story so far…Someone wrote 'the story so far'. Then someone wrote that someone wrote 'the story so far'. Then someone wrote that someone wrote that someone wrote 'the story so far'. Then someone got hit by a herring…Hit by a herring? …Ouch!

Chapter One – The Larch

[Setting: Ross/Rachel's apartment]

Ross: What do you mean it's my fault? Rachel: I don't know, maybe I mean it is your fault! Ross: How is it my fault?

Rachel: It's always your fault.

Ross: Exactly.

Rachel: What?

Ross: It's always my fault.

Rachel: Yeah…?

Ross: Exactly.

Rachel: What?

Ross: It's always my fault.

Rachel: Okay, I just got a sense of déjà vu.

Ross: Me too.

Rachel: What were we arguing about?

Ross: …I don't know.

Rachel: Wasn't it about you being at fault?

Ross: But I'm always at fault.

Rachel: Exactly.

Ross: What?

Rachel: It's always your fault.

Ross: Exactly.

Rachel: So…we're in agreement?

Ross: …I think so.

Rachel: …O...Kay…

Ross: We really need to get out more.

Rachel: Yeah.

*****

[Setting: Joey's apartment]

Chandler: You want another beer?

Joey: Yeah.

[Chandler picks up phone]

Chandler: Hi, Mon. Can you bring us two beers?

Joey: And some chips.

Chandler: And some chips.

Joey: And pizza.

Chandler: And pizza.

Joey: And…

Chandler: Do you want to talk to her?

Joey: She's your wife.

Chandler: Fine…You want anything else?

Joey: Let me think…[Long pause]…No.

Chandler: Okay…She hung up.

Joey: She hung up?

Chandler: Yeah.

Joey: Does that mean she isn't bringing the food?

*****

[Setting: Monica/Chandler's apartment]

Monica: I can't believe those guys.

Phoebe: The A-Team?

Monica: …No…Chandler and Joey.

Phoebe: Oh.

Monica: They act like I'm their servant. Someone to bring them food and beer, clean up after them and…and…do other servant things.

Phoebe: What are you doing?

Monica: Baking them a pie.

Phoebe: And the mop?

Monica: It's just they leave such a mess.

Phoebe: [Whipping sound]

Monica: Excuse me?

Phoebe: [Louder whipping sound]

Monica: And what is that supposed to mean?

Phoebe: Do I have to draw you a diagram? [Even louder whipping sound]

Monica: Okay repeating it doesn't make it any easier to understand.

Phoebe: [Several whipping sounds]

Monica: You think Joey and Chandler take me for granted?

Phoebe: Yes.

Monica: They don't…do they?

Phoebe: [Whipping sound]

Monica: OH MY GOD! They do!

Phoebe: It's not your fault. You're just servant material.

Monica: I am not!

Phoebe: Pass me that spoon.

[Monica hands Phoebe the spoon]

Phoebe: See.

Monica: I am such a servant. Phoebe, you got to help me?

Phoebe: But I wanted to go the park and shout at the kids who chase the birds.

Monica: Phebs…

Phoebe: Fine.

Monica: So…What should I do?

Phoebe: I thinking…

[Several seconds of thinking later]

Monica: …Phoebe? Phoebe?

Phoebe: What?

Monica: You're sitting on my oven gloves.

[Phoebe jumps up]

Phoebe: Ooh! I got it!

[Monica grabs the oven gloves]

Phoebe: We prank them.

Monica: Prank them?

Phoebe: Yeah, we prank them so that they won't take you for granted anymore.

Monica: Not really seeing the connection.

Phoebe: I'll draw some diagrams.

[Some diagram drawing later]

Monica: Ooohh...We prank them.

Phoebe: Exactly.

Author's Note: End of Chapter One. For those wanting another chapter please review at the bottom. For those not wanting another chapter please review at the bottom. For those wanting to know who shot J.F.K, J.R. and my milkman then please review at the bottom. For those feeling left out, lonely or depressed please don't go up any tall building and review at the bottom. For those still reading this please review at the bottom. For those of you who found that...'object' in…that 'place'…it's not mine, you can't prove it's my fault and I have never seen it before in my life. For those who want to know the meaning of life please review at the bottom. For those gullible members of you please review at the bottom and send your life savings to me. For the rest of you please review at the bottom. For those of you who don't want to review…[censored for use of language and imagery it creates…the sheep was completely unnecessary if you ask me]…with a melon.