Chapter Five - Squirrels And What You Are Legally Allowed To Do To Them.

[Setting: Monica and Chandler's apartment]

[Monica and Phoebe are watching television]

[Enter Chandler]

Chandler: Hi honey, I'm home!

Phoebe: Hey!

Monica: I think he was talking to me.

Phoebe: Man, you have a big ego. It's me, me, me, all the time with you.

Monica: Hey! That's not true. Chandler, tell her I'm not like that. Chandler, tell her!

Chandler: Yes, dear. She's not like that...not like that at all.

[Monica gives Phoebe a 'told you so' look]

Chandler: So, what's with the nice china?

Monica: We're playing Poker tonight, don't you remember?

Chandler: Poker? Hmm...that's reminds me of something...

Monica: You were supposed to bring some dip.

Chandler: Nope, it's not that.

Monica: So you have the dip?

Chandler: Don't be ridiculous.

[Monica gives Chandler a stern look]

Chandler: You're not being ridiculous. I have no dip, please don't kill me.

Monica: You're lucky I got some myself.

Phoebe: Man, could you two be more married.

Chandler: ...No.

Phoebe: Oh, well, good.

[Enter Joey]

[Joey goes to the fridge, opens it and starts to remove food]

[He closes the fridge door to find everyone looking at him]

Joey: What? Am I not allowed to eat your food?

Monica: Remember Poker?  Tonight?

Chandler: And when did we ever give you permission to eat our food?

Joey: The moment you left your fridge unguarded.

Monica: I told you!

Chandler: Joey forgot the poker night.

Monica: Joey!

Joey: Hey, it's not my fault.

Chandler: Yes, it is.

Joey: Yeah, but it doesn't feel like it is.

Chandler: Same here.

Joey: You forgot Poker night too?

Chandler: And the dip.

Joey: There's dip?

Chandler: I just said I forgot it. Didn't you hear that?

Joey: I just hear the word dip...So, wait, there's no dip?

Monica: Yes, but you have to wait until Poker night starts.

Joey: Poker night?

Phoebe: Oh my God!

Monica: What? What is it?

Phoebe: [Pointing at the television] That guy just wrestled a crocodile to the ground.

[Enter Ross and Rachel]

Ross: And the doctor said it would be fine...Oh, hi guys.

Rachel: Hey, what's with the nice china?

Chandler: Poker night.

Rachel: Poker night?

Monica: What is up with you people? Can you not remember one simple little thing?

Ross: I bought dip.

Monica: Thank you, Ross. At least I can count on my brother.

Ross: Oh, wait, I left it in the apartment.

Chandler: Ha! ...I shouldn't have done that.

Joey: Can I eat yet?

Monica: No!

Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it again!

Monica: That's it! [Turns off the television] Everyone sit down and let get this Poker night started! Sit! Sit!

Joey: Man, she really likes Poker.

[They all sit down]

Phoebe: Err...Monica?

Monica: Yeah?

Phoebe: You know that thing...

Monica: Thing?

Phoebe: That thing.

Monica: Oh, yeah. That thing. What about it?

Phoebe: I don't think it worked.

Monica: Why do you think that?

[Phoebe stands up and the chair is attached to her]

Monica: Oh, crap.

Chandler: That's what I forgot!