Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Nor do I own the song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better from the musical Annie Get Your Gun. It belongs to Warner Bros and Irving Berlin. I just changed the words a bit. This story is purely for entertainment. No profit is being made

Author's Note: This is my attempt at a songfic. I've never written one before - so this is rather pathetic and fluffy. Don't kill me - my brain's gone into holiday mode - I've just completed my final 4,000 word assignment for my Masters Degree! So…read on. You have been warned.

It was one of those days. The sun was shining, the birds were singing….and they were lost. Ash and Misty were arguing, as usual, and Brock was getting a headache, as usual. Just a typical day in the lives of Ash Ketchum and Company.

Today's slinging fight had started out as a 'Who got us lost' fight and had degenerated into an 'I'm following you for a bike' verbal slanging match.

"If I don't follow you, you won't ever pay me back for my bike!" Misty yelled furiously.

"Oh, yes I will!" Ash shot back.

"Will not!"

"Will too!"

"Will not!"

Brock sighed. Kids. Ash and Misty were just so immature - unlike him. Those two just could not last a whole day without teasing and fighting. Day in, day out it was the same old boring arguments, same old boring way of fighting. They claimed the reason for the constant fights was that they couldn't stand each other.

Brock begged to differ. He saw their arguments as a rather odd way to flirt. After all, Ash and Misty usually ended up extremely close to each other when arguing, their faces only inches apart. But as he valued his life, he never said this to their faces. Doing so would risk serious injury from Misty's infamous mallet, as well as Ash's fists. They would only deny it, as usual. Personally, he thought his way was much better.

The breeder looked down at Pikachu and Togepi who were sitting at his feet. The tiny mouse and the egg were watching their trainers with an air of resignation. It seemed that they were just as bored as he was. "Have you two had enough?" he asked the little creatures.



"Same here." Brock walked over to the feuding pair and shoved them apart. "Okay guys. CHILL!" he shouted.

Silence. What a blessed relief, he thought as he glared at his two younger companions. "You're giving me a headache! Why can't you two get along? If you must insist on fighting, at least make it more interesting! It's the same boring way of arguing every day. Spice it up a bit, guys," he pleaded.

Ash and Misty just looked at him like he had just grown two heads. "Spice it up?" Ash echoed, very confused.

"Make it more entertaining. C'mon, I'm the one who has to listen to you two fight all the time, so make it worthwhile for me. I want value for money here." Brock explained.

"Uh….okay, Brock," Misty stuttered. How on earth was she going to make it more interesting? The only reason she fought with Ash was to disguise the fact she loved him. There was no way he could feel the same about her. She had to keep up the charade, so by entertaining, did Brock expect her to beat Ash up? She didn't want to hurt him, and Pikachu would fry her for doing that to her beloved trainer. What was she to do?

Ash was also nervous. Brock had lost it. Spicing up an argument? Make it entertaining? What was he to do? The constant arguing was only for show, he never really meant what he said. He just didn't have the guts to tell her he loved her. He couldn't threaten to hurt her, he could never do that to a girl, and there was no telling what Togepi would do. He could just see the headlines "ORANGE LEAGUE CHAMP KILLED BY PSYCHOPATHIC EGG." Not exactly the ending that he envisioned for himself.

Seeing that he had shut his two friends up, Brock decided that it was time to move on. "Come on guys, let's go."

"Okay," Misty spoke up first. "But if you're gonna give the map to anyone, give it to me, not Ash!"

Ash was miffed. "Why not?"

"Because, unlike you, I can read a map!"

"I can read a map!" Ash protested .

"Well I can do it better than you. Just face it, Ash. I can do everything better than you!" Misty said with an air of superiority.

Ash angrily stepped up to her and glared at her. "Oh yeah?" he challenged.

Brock stepped between them. "Guys - remember you're supposed to make it interesting? Entertain me."

"Uh…how do you want us to entertain you?" Ash asked.

"Anything, sing, dance, whatever. I've always enjoyed musical numbers," was the reply.

The two teens looked at each other. There was an uncomfortable pause. "Well, wanna try singing?" Ash suggested after a moment's hesitation.

"I'm game if you are," Misty muttered. This was going to be so embarrassing.

( Brock, Pikachu and Togepi sit on a log, while the two take their positions. They are standing with their backs to one another, arms crossed. A large spotlight shines down on them, and the music from Annie Get Your Gun begins to play. Misty takes her cue and begins to sing)

Misty: Anything you can do, I can do better

I can do anything better than you.

Ash (a bit cross): No you can't.

Misty: Yes I can.

Ash: No you can't!

Misty: Yes I can!

Ash: No you can't!

Misty: Yes I can, yes I can!

Ash: Anything you can be, I can be greater

Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.

Misty (hands on hips): No you're not!

Ash (smiling): Yes I am!

Misty (very mad): NO YOU'RE NOT!

Ash (still smiling): Yes I am, Yes I am! (Hey, I am the Orange League Champion!)

I can face a Weedle while you sit there and squeal.

Misty (waving a fist): I can use my mallet and send you back to Pallet!

Ash: I can live on bread and cheese

Misty: And only on that?

Ash: Sure.

Misty (sarcastically): So can a RAT! (Pikachu's cheeks spark ominously and Ash glares at Misty)

Ash: Any note you can reach, I can go higher

Misty (very sure of herself): I can sing anything higher than you.

Ash: No you can't.

Misty: Yes I can.

Ash (an octave higher): No you can't!

Misty (higher than that): Yes I can!

Ash (goes one above): No you can't!

Misty (one above that): Yes I can!

Ash (higher than that): No you can't!

Misty (still higher): Yes I can!

Ash (goes to the top of his range): No you can't!

Misty (takes a deep breath): Yeeeeeeeeees IIIIIIIIIIIII Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! (Her voice is extremely high causing Ash, Brock, Pikachu and Togepi to cover their ears)

Misty: Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper,

I can buy anything cheaper than you.

Ash: Fifty cents?

Misty: Forty cents!

Ash (smirks): Thirty cents!

Misty: Twenty cents!

Ash (laughing): No you can't!

Misty (temper flaring, leans against him): Yes I can, yes I can!

Ash: Anything you can say, I can say softer

Misty: I can say anything softer than you.

Ash (soft): No you can't

Misty (very soft): Yes I can

( Both are drawing closer to each other to hear better)

Ash (whispering): No you can't

Misty (even quieter): Yes I can

Ash (barely audible): No you can't

Misty (angrily): Yes I can, YES I CAN! (Unfortunately she says the last part very loudly. Ash grins - "Hah, you lost!")

Ash (stands there looking very proud): I can eat my dinner faster than a flicker

Misty: I can eat it quicker and get even sicker!

Ash: I can be a TV star

Misty: With you as the hero?

Ash: Sure.

Misty (sneering): Your chances are zero, you twerp!

Ash: Any note you can hold, I can hold longer

Misty: I can hold any note longer than you

Ash: No you can't

Misty: Yes I can

Ash: No you can't!

Misty: Yes I can!

Ash: No you can't!

Misty: Yes I can!

Both: No you can't/Yes I can (Both try to draw out the notes and hold it for as long as possible. Ash tires and runs out of breath. Misty is still going)

Misty (grinning): IIIIIIIII caaaaaan!

Ash (recovers his breath): YES YOU CAN!!! (Right into her ear, throwing her off balance a bit)

Misty: Anything you can wear, I can wear better

In what you wear I'd look better than you

Ash: In my t-shirt?

Misty: In your jacket

Ash: In my shoes?

Misty (sneering): In your HAT!

Ash (gets furious and puts his forehead against hers): NO YOU CAN'T!


Ash: Anything you can say, I can say faster

Misty: I can say anything faster than you

Ash (quickly): No you can't (steps closer to Misty)

Misty (very quickly): Yes I can! (steps even closer)

Ash (very fast): No you can't! (another step)

Misty (faster still): Yes I can! (yet another step)

(By now both are face to face and speaking so fast that the words are jumbled together, incoherent)

Both: ….CAN/CAN'T!

(Ash steps away from her and folds his arms across his chest)

Ash: I saved Dratini

Misty (does a model's pose): I can wear a bikini

Ash: I can knit a sweater

Misty : I can fill it better!

Ash (smug): I can do most anything!

Misty (grinning wickedly): Can you bake a pie?

Ash (face falls): No

Misty (droops and says dejectedly): Neither can I!

(Ash then stands behind her)

Ash: Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter

Misty: I can sing anything sweeter than you

Ash (sweeps one arm out and sings like an opera star a la Andrea Bocelli): No you can't

Misty (does the same, and in a pretty good imitation of a diva) Yes I can!

Ash: No you can't!

Misty (tries to block Ash): Yes I can!

Ash: No you can't!

Misty (still getting in his way): Yes I can!

Ash (getting irritated): No you can't!

Misty: Yes I can!

Ash (grabs Misty by the shoulders and shakes her three times): NO YOU CAN'T, CAN'T, CAN'T!

Misty (tries shoving him): YES I CAN, CAN, CAN! (She kicks him in the back of his legs, sending him off balance and they end up cheek to cheek)


(The music stops and the spotlight is turned off)

Brock (clapping): "Bravo!"

Ash and Misty bow, Pikachu and Togepi are cheering loudly.

Brock was overjoyed. "Now that's what I call entertainment! That was just like one of the old time musicals I remember watching. You know the type - boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl."

Misty was vexed to find herself blushing at Brock's comment, so she quickly thought of an insult to cover it. "Yeah, well Ash couldn't possibly get a girl! Bet you he doesn't even know how to kiss!"

Ash's dark eyes flared with anger. "Oh yeah? Yes I can!" he retorted and without further ado, he swept Misty into his arms and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. When they broke apart, they were breathless.

Misty gazed at him dreamily, and then pulled Ash back into another kiss.

Brock, Pikachu and Togepi were bawling. The breeder turned to his tiny companions, "This is just like in the movies, don't ya just love happy endings!"

Author's Note: So how did I go? I had no idea on how to write a songfic - so this is the fluffy result. Many thanks to Vickie211 for her suggestions - I hope this is an improvement. Please read and review - I love getting reviews - many people have been so nice!