Begging for a detention

Pairing: Draco/Harry

Contents:  humor, Pouty!Draco, Agitated!Harry, sap, and just plain weirdness abound.  PWP.

Rating:  R

Notes:  You know when you have an idea for a scenario and it won't leave your head unless you've written it?  Well, that's how it was for me with this fic.  It's written for mere pleasure and not meant to be taken seriously.  I was in one of those moods.

Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these characters- they all belong to J. K. Rowling.


          Draco Malfoy could not take it any longer.  He had been fighting it for months now, and he kept receiving dream after dream with his obsession reappearing in them.  It was time to take drastic measures.  It was time to get his head straightened out.

          So to speak.

          Draco had been quite sexually active lately, as well as open-minded, and he had done boys as well as girls, but… he had never had feelings for someone like this.  It was quite upsetting, to say the least.

          The blond Slytherin waltzed into Professor Snape's office, unannounced.  When he shut the door behind him, he made Snape jump from behind his desk.

          "Sir!" Draco said frantically as he sat himself down in a chair in front of Snape's desk.  He wiggled anxiously in his seat as he stared at the potions master.

          "Damn it, Mr. Malfoy, don't you know how to knock??" Snape roared.

          "Of course I do, sir." Draco blinked, "Is that a trick question?"

          "Never mind, and just tell me what you want. I am quite busy."

          Draco pouted; clearly not happy with the way his favorite teacher was treating him. "But sir…" he whined.

          "Good lord, Mr. Malfoy, don't whine!  It's not very becoming in a Slytherin of your stature."

          Draco continued to pout, "But I have a major problem, sir, and I was hoping that..."

          "I am too busy to help a teenager with their 'problems'.  What do I look like, anyways?  A psychiatric specialist?"  Draco's pout would not waver, so Snape sighed in defeat and said, "Fine.  What do you want?"

          "Er… I think… I think I'm falling in love."

          Snape blinked, surprised for a bit, but then went back to his usual scowl, "So what do you want me to do about it?"

          "I want you to either help me or … or put me out of my misery."

          "Excuse me?"

          "It wasn't supposed to happen like this, sir!" Draco said as if he had just been accused of doing something bad, "I don't know why it happened, it just did!  I can't get this person out of my head and… it's making me crazy!  I might be, though … that's a thought.  Sir, do you think I'm going crazy?"

          "Generally speaking, or for being in love?"

          "Yes!  I mean… with this person… I feel as if I'm being pulled apart!  It's madness, really!"

          Snape sighed, "Do tell, Mr. Malfoy…" he rubbed his temples.

          "You see sir, it's like this… uh… what's your favorite snack?"

          Snape raised a brow, "What does that have to do with the price of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?"

          Draco laughed, "I'm trying to explain my feelings here, sir.  Now," he started to get his hands into the demonstration, "take your favorite snack, whatever that might be, and your least favorite, or something you really hate and put them together.  Now… what would you do?"

          It sounded as if Snape were forcing out a laugh.

          "I'd pick out the stuff I don't like, of course."

          "You're not seeing the big picture here, sir." Draco pouted.  "I mean… would you still eat it?"

          "Hell no!  Not if it had stuff in it that I didn't like."

          "But… what if it tastes pretty good, even though it gives you a stomachache?  What if the way it looks and tastes makes your mouth water, but the mere thought of what else is inside makes you want to vomit?"

          Snape's brow shot to his hairline, "You're in love with a Gryffindor, aren't you?"

          Draco choked a bit, and then looked appalled, "Honestly sir, just because of the fact that I don't like the person, as well as love, doesn't mean that the person is a Gryffindor!  I don't like Hufflepuffs either, you know."

          "But the thought of being with a Gryffindor gives you a stomachache." Snape said with a knowing look.

          "Okay, fine!  It's a Gryffindor.  Big deal!" Draco huffed.

          "Who is it, Mr. Malfoy?"  Snape dared to ask.

          Draco pouted harder, "Sir, I just… That's not really the point here, sir, I just…"

          "If you want my help, I need to know who it is."

          Draco sighed in defeat, "Ok, ok… you see, it's like this . . . . . . Sir, it's. . . I mean if I knew I'd be falling for such a . . . a geek, and . . . a troublesome Gryffindor, I never would be able to live with myself and I'd…"

          "Dear god, it's not a Weasley, is it?"

          "No!" Draco frowned. "Never in a million years!"

          "It's not that 'troublesome' so-called pureblood, Longbottom, is it?"

          Draco gagged, "Hell no!"

          "Then it's not Miss Granger… or even Dean Thomas…"

          "I wouldn't be caught dead with a Mudblood!"

          Snape's eyes widened in realization, "Oh—my—god… oh, hell no… it's not…"

          Draco lowered his eyes.

Snape gaped.  "It's not. . . Harry Potter, is it??"

          Draco gulped and nodded very slowly.

          "Bloody hell!" Snape moaned, and then he got up and walked toward his vial cabinet.  He took a small vial out and handed it to Draco.  "Drink this and tell me if you feel any different."

          Draco sniffed it carefully, and then took a sip.  When nothing happened, he shook his head.

          "Drink more." Snape said.

          Draco drank almost half of the contents.

          "Any change?" Snape asked.

          Draco sat there for a bit, waiting.  Then, finally, Draco shook his head. "Sorry sir, I still feel the same.  I still want to throw Potter up against the wall and rip his clothes off and…"

          "Ok, enough!" Snape bellowed, "You don't have to go into detail!"

          "Sorry sir." Draco frowned.  "I guess I'm not under any kind of love potion."

          Very slowly, Snape sank back into his chair and looked at Draco with weary eyes, "Well, I don't know what you want me to do about it.  I'm no good at this sort of thing."

          They sat in silence for a while, and then Draco jerked as if he had just been struck with lightning.

          "Sir!  I have an idea!"

          "Oh dear lord…"

          "You could give me and Potter detention together and that way I'll be able to speak to him privately and stuff!  What do you say, sir?"

          "No!  I will not be giving my best student a detention so he could be with Harry Potter of all people!"

          "Please, sir?  There's no other way I can talk to him.  Whenever I try to, there's usually other people around, and it's harder to say the things I want to say and… this way it would be easier for me, plus it would just stay between me and him and…"

          "And I said NO, Mr. Malfoy!  And NO means NO!  Understand?"

          Draco's pout was incredible.  Then, as if something had possessed him, Draco stood up and walked toward the door.

          "Fine, sir.  But if you won't just give me a detention, I'll just have to earn one myself."

          "No, wait, Draco!"  Snape stood up, but as he did, his office door closed.  "Damn him.  He's going to cause unwanted trouble in my class… and I don't want to take points away from Slytherin!"  Snape growled.

          "I almost forgot just how stubborn those Malfoys can be."


          The very next day, Harry Potter trudged into the Potions classroom with Ron and Hermione by his side.  Harry had been having a very bad day.  He woke up from a nightmare, tripped on something and fell flat on his face and broke his glasses (in which Hermione had repaired right away when she saw him).  Also, an owl pooped in his breakfast so he couldn't eat anymore, he got a howler from his ex-girlfriend telling him what a worthless, wishy-washy person he was, and he got hit with a fat hex that wasn't meant for him in the first place (and Hermione had to put him back to normal).

          And to top it all off, he had forgotten to study last night.  He was in trouble for sure.

          Harry plopped down in his seat and his friends sat beside him.

          "How're you holding up, mate?" Ron asked gently.

          Harry made a dissatisfying grunt.

          "It'll get better, Harry." Hermione assured him. "It always does.  I had this one really bad day once, and it didn't get better until the end of . . . oh, never mind."

          Harry made another strangling noise and kept his eyes down.  He didn't even want to look at Snape today.  He was just going to listen, and that was it.

          Draco Malfoy strutted into the class looking very determined.  He had his goons flanking him, and when he sat down, they continued to flank him.  The poor boy was forever to be flanked, it seemed.

          Harry didn't even take notice, and it pissed Draco off.  His hackles rose even more when he looked over and saw that Harry wasn't even paying attention.  He scowled for a bit but then realized that Harry looked blue, like he was having a bad day.  'Well…' Draco thought, 'if all goes well, I'll be kissing that frown goodbye…'

          Snape strolled up to the front of the classroom and started to give them the usual lecture, and what potion they'll be doing, and so on.  Draco got paired with Blaise Zabini, to his displeasure, and Harry got to be with Seamus Finnigan.  Draco looked over and frowned, and then looked over at Snape.  The Professor's eyes met his, and he smirked.  Draco tried to give his teacher the most pathetic pout, but it didn't work.  He continued to work on with a scowling face, thinking of what to do.

          As it reached the middle of the lesson, Draco suddenly got an idea.  He wasn't sure if it'll work, but he decided to try it anyways.

          He took a snail's shell in his hand, cleared his throat to get Snape to look at him, and then looked over at where Harry was working.  When he got Professor Snape's attention, Draco threw the shell high into the air, and it landed into Harry's cauldron.  The extra snail's shell caused the substance to bubble out of control, and when Harry put some armadillo bile into it, not paying attention, it blew up.  The orange-yellow goop splattered all over Harry, Seamus, Ron, Hermione, and even a bit of Millicent Bulstrode, who'd been working with Hermione.

          Snape got up instantly and almost floated over to where Harry was.  He looked down menacingly at the four-eyed Gryffindor and said, "20 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, and detention!"

          Harry just stared down at his messy cauldron and frowned.

          Draco stood up in defiance but then sat back down when Crabbe and Goyle were looking at him funny.  When Snape passed by Draco's workstation, he gave Draco a warning glare and then made his way to his desk.

          'The nerve of him!' Draco berated in his head, 'He won't even give me what I want!'

          Draco hated being denied of something he wanted.  He was denied going to Durmstrang.  He was denied of having Harry Potter as a friend.  He was denied a new broom when Harry got his Firebolt.  He was denied a pet dragon for his thirteenth birthday.  And NOW he was denied in having a detention with Harry Potter, and denied to touch and taste Potter tonight.  It just wasn't fair.

          "Stop your pouting, Mr. Malfoy," Snape said in a low tone, "It's not very becoming on your proud features."

          Draco scowled at the teacher, and then proceeded to make his potion.  He will get his way.  Oh yes.  He will.


          The next day was Care of Magical Creatures, in which case Draco had no way in hell of getting a detention with Potter, so he waited.  He waited until the next time they had Potions together.

          When that day came, Draco already had a plan.  They were working on the second part to their potion that day, and when Harry walked by Malfoy's station, ingredients in his hands, Draco stuck a foot out and tripped him.  Harry fell forward and parts of the ingredients went scattering all around the room.  Some flew into Ron's cauldron, and some went into Neville's, causing their potions to explode.  Draco guffawed loudly, indicating that it was HE that made Harry do it.

          Harry was really pissed now.  His week was just starting to get better too, and then Malfoy had to go and do that to him!  Not only did Neville have to start over with his potion, so did Ron.

          Malfoy was still laughing up a storm when Harry got up, but when Harry turned his direction, with blazing eyes, Malfoy meeped out loud, and then got up to run.  He didn't get far as Harry pounced on him and punched him in the gut.  Draco doubled over with pain.  And when Harry pulled his fist back, Draco panicked, shielding himself with his hands, shouting, "Not the face! Not the face!!"

          "Mr. Potter!!" Snape shouted, "Stop this immediately!!"  He forced Harry off of Draco with a spell, and then helped Draco up, "Ten points for beating up one of my students for merely laughing at your own folly!"

          "But sir!" Harry said, "He tripped me!"

          Draco started to nod, but then Snape said, "A likely story, Mr. Potter!"

          "But you saw!  Everyone saw!" Harry frowned.

          "Five more points for not believing a teacher!  Now clean up this mess!"

          Draco looked at Snape and pouted.

          "And if you don't stop your pouting, Mr. Malfoy, I will give you detention with Filch tonight.  Alone."

          Draco sighed, and went to get his own potion ingredients.


          Harry was finally having a good day when he met Draco in the middle of the hallway.  He snarled at the blond and then turned away.  He really didn't have to use the loo that badly anyways.

          "Potter!" Draco shouted, but Harry kept walking.  Draco walked faster, "Potter, stop!"

          "Go away, Malfoy!" Harry sneered, "I don't know why you've been even more of a bully than usual, but it's starting to piss me off, and if you don't leave me alone, I will hex you into next week!"

          "Wow," Draco said, catching up to Harry, "If you could really do that, I'd be impressed."

          "I'd be happy.  Now go away, Malfoy.  I don't want to see your little ferrety face!"

          "But you must admit, I have a really cute, ferrety face."

          "Buzz off, Malfoy."

          "No.  I want to talk to you."

          "Well, I don't want to talk to you." Harry turned and went up a flight of stairs that led to the Gryffindor Tower.

          "Fine!" Draco huffed.  "Be that way!"

          "Fine, I will!" Harry said behind his shoulder.

          "Fine!" Draco stomped his foot.  "Just. . . fine!"

          Harry didn't say anything as he turned the corner.

          Draco pouted.  As usual.


          When it came time for Potions again, Draco was racking his brain for something to do to Harry, something that he could do to make them both get a detention.  When Snape came in, he was still thinking up something to do, and when everyone started doing his or her potions (or redoing them, as the case may be), Draco finally got an idea.  It was such a wicked idea, that it produced a silly, sadistic grin across his face.

          He quickly got out a piece of parchment and began to write.  As the others were gathering ingredients, as was his partner Blaise, Draco jotted down something quick and to the point, and then folded the paper up.  He waited until Harry had seated himself back down next to his partner, and then Draco began his plan.  He whistled lightly, getting Snape to look up at him, and then he threw the folded up parchment at Harry.  It landed in front of Harry, and he looked down at it in confusion.  When Harry looked over at Draco, Draco smiled at him, mouthed the words: Read it, and then winked.

          Harry raised a brow, and then, curiosity getting the better of him, he opened up the note and read it.

          Dear Harry,

Please don't be angry with me for cheating on you with that 6th year Ravenclaw. Please!  I don't know what I'd do without you!  You're the apple of my eye.  The flavored cream in my coffee.  The tea bag in my hot water.  You're the sun of my universe—the stars that make up my galaxy—the North Star of my Big Dipper…

          It went on and on like this, until Snape took it out of Harry's hands and read it.  He looked over at Draco, gave him a 'So this is the way you're playing' look, and then crumbled the letter up.

          "Detention for reading notes in my classroom, Mr. Potter…"

          "But sir!" Harry interjected.  Ron and Hermione were about to say something, but Snape stopped them with just a glance.

          "Tonight.  You will be cleaning out the equipment."  He looked over at Draco.

          "Sir…" Draco started, "I'm sorry for passing notes, and I understand if you want to give me detention too…"

          "Yes." Snape said, "That sounds like an excellent idea."

          Draco beamed.  Snape was giving in!

          "You have detention tomorrow night, with Hagrid."

          Draco blanched, his lip quivering a mile a minute.


          "No buts, Mr. Malfoy.  And you WILL show up."

          "Son of a. . ."


          "Why the hell does Malfoy get to have his detention with Hagrid, and you get stuck with Snape??  That's not fair!" Ron growled.

          "I know!" Harry frowned, "He's been getting me detention every time in Potions class now, and it's really starting to piss me off!"

          "You know," Hermione said, picking at her supper, "He almost seems like he's trying to get detention *with* you.  Didn't you notice?"

          "Well, if he is, he's going about it the wrong way." Harry said, sticking a bun in his mouth, "There's no way Snape will give in and let him have a detention with me."

          "But WHY does he want detention with you?" Hermione asked.

          "So he can torture you more?" Ron wondered.

          "Maybe." Harry said.  He was remembering the note that was passed to him and he silently began to wonder if Draco really meant what he wrote, or if he was just acting queer.  "I'm going to ask."

          Just as dinner ended, Harry followed the blond and stopped him. "Malfoy."

          Draco stopped, his heart pounding in his chest.  He had a feeling that Harry would want to ask him about that note.

          He turned around and eyed the Gryffindor, "Yes? What is it, Potter?"

          "Er… I was wondering… why are you trying to get detention with me?"

          Draco gasped.  He was totally unprepared for this, having already thought up of an excuse to give him about the note.

          "Um… well, er…"

          "Is it because of what you wrote me?  Do you—do you like me like that?"


          "Is that why you've been so mean to me lately?  You've been wanting to get detention with me so that you could be with me?"

          "Uh…" Draco mentally slapped himself, 'stop it!'

          "Well? Answer me, Malfoy."

          He wanted to, he really wanted to answer Harry, but his mouth was frozen.  He had something planned, a certain way to tell Harry his feelings—he wasn't going to use words!

          "M-maybe…" Draco stuttered, "Maybe if you help get a detention with me, then you'll get your answer."

          Harry's eyes narrowed. "Another detention??  I don't think so!  I've had plenty already, thank you very much."  He left.

          Draco pouted.  Of course.


          Draco was at his roots end.  He was close to just grabbing Harry and dragging him off to a deserted classroom and spill his guts out, but he was too chicken.

          'Think, Draco, think… there has to be a way to do this… another way…'

          He didn't have any other class with Harry besides Potions and Care of Magical Creatures, so he wasn't sure how'd he'd be able to get a detention *with* him any other way.

          It was Potions again, and this time, Draco had an idea of what would land HIM a detention, at least.  He wasn't sure if Snape would be nice enough to finally give Harry a detention for nothing, but he was a persistent one.  Most Malfoys were, and Snape should have realized that by now.

          It was the last day of their potion for most.  Some had to restart their potions twice, including Harry, Ron, Neville, and even Bulstrode.  Harry and Ron were at the second stage of their potion, which meant that this weekend they had to take care of their potion to get the grade, and Neville was all the way to the beginning, again.  Bulstrode was given a pardon and didn't have to worry about not finishing it on time.

          Draco was just starting to add the last ingredient to his perfect potion, when he had purposely dropped his knife on the floor.

          "SON OF A BITCH!"

          Everyone stopped to stare at Mr. Perfect Mouth Malfoy.  The worst swearing they'd ever heard Draco do in class was 'damn', and that was under his breath.

          When that show was over with, everybody returned to their potions.  Snape just gave him a quirky glare, and then returned to walking up and down the aisles.

          'Ok, so just one word isn't working.  Got to get up the courage and use the worst of the worst…'  Draco got up, acting like he was going to do something, and then he pretended to stub his toe.

          "Goddamn it!"

          "Mr. Malfoy, please watch your language." Snape said, and then went to bug Neville.

          "Er… sorry sir." Draco muttered.  'Crap, this isn't working.  Must think… got to think…'

          Snape usually took points away from Gryffindor for Ron's potty mouth, so you can imagine just how irritated this made Ron.

          "Professor?" Draco raised his hand.

          "Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape said.  He had a feeling that the blond was up to something.

          "Can I use the bathroom? I have to fucking piss so bad that my back teeth are floating, and it's annoying the shit out of me."

          Harry, Ron, and Hermione's eyes widened in shock.  Snape nodded his head and said, "Go ahead."

          Draco growled, "Sir!  You're not being fucking fair!"

          Everyone gasped and stared at him, again.

          "Mr. Malfoy, I'm warning you… one more outburst like that and I'll…"

          "Give me detention?"

          "Uh… yes.  Yes I will."

          "Good.  Then it gives me great pleasure to say, sir, that I think you have your greasy head stuck up your bony ass."

          Snape turned red.  "DETENTION, Mr. Malfoy!!"

          Draco grinned.

          Harry couldn't hold it in, and he started to chuckle.  Snape rounded on him and gave him a deadly glare. "Oh? You think that's funny, Mr. Potter?"

          "He does." Draco said, smiling, "Because he knows it's true, don't you, Potter?"

          Harry, for the life of him, couldn't stop laughing.  Ron, however, was turning blue from holding his in.

          "Detention, Potter!" Snape roared.  He ogled Draco, who was pleading with him silently.  Snape wasn't about to give in, but Draco whispered, "I'll only continue to try… I will not stop until I do… and I'll be swearing every day in this class until you DO give in…"

          "All right!!" Snape snarled, "You win, Draco!" He looked back at Harry, "Mr. Potter… You have detention with Mr. Malfoy tonight."  He turned back to Draco, "I hope you're happy now."

          Draco couldn't stop smiling. "I'm very happy now, sir."


          Harry walked into the Potions room and slammed the door.  Draco was already there.

          "Well, you got your way.  I hope that you're satisfied now."

          "Oh, I'm getting there." Draco grinned.

          "So, no more getting me into trouble?"


          "What do you mean, maybe?  You got your way, I'm here, and now I have to put up with you for the rest of the night!  Isn't that what you wanted?"

          "Only plan A is finished.  Now it's on to plan B."

          "Plan B?" Harry quirked an eyebrow, "What's that?"

          Draco grinned widely, eyes shining bright.  "Plan B:  Seduce Harry Potter."

          Harry's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out.  Draco moved forward and grabbed the sides of Harry's face with his hands.  Before Harry could bring his fist back to hit Draco square in the nose, Draco moved quickly and planted a big wet one onto Harry's lips.  Harry struggled for a bit, but then froze right away when he felt one of Draco's hands between his legs.

          Draco squeezed at Harry's crotch, getting Harry to gasp and open his mouth.  Draco slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth, and Harry was too shocked to do anything but feel Malfoy's lips on his.  When Draco finally let go, Harry pushed him away.  Draco smiled as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

          "You're pretty sweet, Harry." He purred.

          "Don't…" Harry panted, "Don't you dare…"

          Draco smiled wickedly, and then pounced.  He pinned Harry up against the classroom wall, and attacked his neck.

          "Have I ever told you how much I hate you, Potter?  You're the damned sun of my universe—the Irish cream in my bloody coffee—the North Star of my throbbing Big Dipper…"

          Harry smiled, blushing.  He held Draco close.

          "I hate you too… persistent bastard."