(Bakura's POV )For Both of Us
I can't sleep anymore, can barely think. He cries out almost constantly now, the sound of it ripping through the Shadow Realm in a torrent of anguish and frustration. And it tears at me. He's crying out like a siren, crying out to be saved and he probably doesn't even know he's doing it. That would make sense: It's his soul screaming, not his mind. Besides, he'd never admit to what I can feel from him, never admit that it is killing him.
He's restrained from everything that he could be and everything that he wants on a deep level. He's a creature of the dark like me, but the passions, thoughts and urges that accompany that title are being restrained, both by his obligation to protect his light half and by his Hikari himself. I doubt that the Hikari would ever let slip that chain.
And as such a significant part of him has been suppressed, for some years now in fact, he is beginning to feel contained too. Caged like some exotic animal, which in some respects is what he is. What we both are. However, I broke free from my cage long ago, living alone now in disdain for those around me, offering malice in return to anyone who tries to force me back into it.
Now he wants to be saved too, and I'm the only one who can do it. I'm the only one who can make him realize that it's *him* who's screaming through the Shadow Realm and snap that damn chain.
I need to talk to Yugi.
Their relationship was never any of my concern. I didn't have any interest in how they were together, if they were happy and all that crap that I really couldn't give a damn about. There was an inkling of jealousy at first; your first lover is always hard to forget, but that was quickly engulfed by a somewhat forced disinterest.
But I do still care, no matter what happens. That's why I must stop this, not to mention the fact that the sounds are getting harder to ignore, making it harder to sleep and sometimes to even *think*.
I can't let this continue. I'll help him, not only because I have to, but also because I want to. I'd hate to see him destroyed so inadvertently.
Especially by one that he loved and loved him in return.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll set it right. I'll talk to Yugi and show them that I can be human. I definitely won't sleep tonight. I can feel that he's getting worse, the sounds steadily getting louder and a bitter, vicious scratching now joining the assemblage that voices his anxiety and tensions. And now that I have a delicate speech to plan as well, I'll be lucky to get to the Game Shop without a blinding headache.
I plan to add another chapter to this when;
A: I have time. So at the end of May when my exams are out of the way I'll probably start writing.
B: I get an idea of how this conversation is going to work.
C: I get enough encouragement from reviewers, possibly enough to disregard point A at the cost of revision and to ram point B through a quick yet effective development process.
Still, no updates for a long time anywhere, so bear with me and leave a comment of what you think in the meantime. My WIP fanfics are going to stew for the moment…