I own nothing except Hatter.

So. Bowser had been stranded on the Moon. He had been defeated, possessed, left in the dust, rejected, and stomped in the face all in just an hour. He had gotten his wedding ruined, and the Broodals had taken their airship and left, and his airship was wrecked from the moon rock explosion collapse. And Hatter was missing! Bowser thought that he had better find him.

"Hatter?" he called cautiously. "Where are you?"

Bowser walked across the soundless moon, passing a small mushroom shaped shop along the way. Everyone cowered and hid inside, but Bowser had gotten used to people hiding from him years ago.

"Hatter?" he called again. Where could that guy have gone off too?

Bowser entered the chapel, which was suddenly empty. The soup, the bouquet, the guests... where had they all gone?

Just then, he spotted a rumpled red baseball cap, nearly invisible against the red carpet. "Hatter? Is that you?" he asked.

The cap floated into the air, spun around, and turned into the massive white tophat Bowser was familier with.

"Oh, Hatter! I was worried about you!" Bowser exclaimed.

The hat opened its two red eyes and its ghost like tail became visible. "What's that? Worried about me?" said Hatter.

"Come on, we need to get out of here." said Bowser.

"Well, don't you remember? Our airship crashed on the landing!"

"Yeah, I remember. But we have to get off of here."

"Hmmm... maybe there is something around here I could capture, like a rocket."

"Where would we find a rocket small enough for you to capture?"

"Okay, why does this exist?" asked Bowser.

Hatter made a kind of 'I don't know' noise, and then flew on top of the rocket. Immediately, Bowser was sucked into it, and it grew his horns like almost everything Hatter captured. Then the rocket flew back to Earth.

Upon landing on earth, Hatter released the rocket, and then Bowser and Hatter looked around them. The floating kingdom was wrecked.

"My kingdom..." said Bowser.

"Calm down," said Hatter. "Maybe it's only like that in this floating part. Maybe the main castle on the ground is undamaged."

"But... but," protested Bowser. "This was my getaway, my semi secret spot! How could Mario have wrecked this beautiful place? HOW COULD HE?"

Bowser hid in his shell. Unfortunately, he didn't notice as he began to slide off the edge... Hatter tried to get Bowser out of his shell, but it was no use. Bowser plummeted towards the hard ground, still inside his spiky shell.

With a huge splash, Bowser landed, spike side down, in the lava moat surrounding his castle. He could float, so he would be okay for a bit, but what if he tried to come out of his shell? Panicked, Hatter threw himself at a shy guy. Bowser was sucked into the shy guy. Crisis averted.

Hatter released the shy guy, who was momentarily stunned. But it didn't take long before somebody yelled, "Hey, the King is back!" A stream of Bowser's underlings came out from fixing the castle and helped Bowser to his room. Hatter trailed along behind.

Bowser lay down on his bed, and Hatter rested on a table. Eventually, they both fell asleep.

A couple days earlier...

Bowser sailed into the Hat Kingdom, with his ship all decked out in white and purple. This was it! This time he really was going to marry Peach! He...

There was a thud as something heavy hit the ship, denting the side. It was a black, hat shaped airship.

Bowser growled, then yelled to the Koopa manning the artillery. A minute later, the top hat airship plummeted to the ground, full of smoking holes.

A goomba ran up to Bowser. "Sir, we need to land to make repairs if we want to make it to the mushroom kingdom."

"Isn't it just a little farther?" asked Bowser irritably.

"Yes, sir, but we have to cross the poison ocean, which is risky if we are damaged. If the engines failed, we would all sink and die."

"I understand. You have permission to land, but I want to be in the air in an hour."

"Yes, sir!" The goomba left, and Bowser sat down. 'Another delay' he thought. 'Just great.' Then he saw the hat shaped airships around and smiled. Perhaps he could have some fun.

When nearly all the airships had been destroyed, Bowser decided to fly up to the top of a really tall tower, and try to get a view of the surrounding kingdoms. He flew up in the Broodals' airship, and landed on top of the tower, where he found another one of the hat ghosts that live here. Except this one was different. He didn't cower or run, but instead held his ground and looked right at Bowser. Like Bowser, he had red eyes, and he was shaped like a large, white top hat. As Bowser stepped off the ship, the hat ghost began to speak.

"My name is Hatter, and I have a deal for you."

Who was this strange hat? Bowser motioned for Hatter to continue.

"I, like all of my people, have the ability to possess, or 'capture' other living things and objects. Also, I can hit things and even transform myself. I will do this all to aid you, but in exchange you must do two things."

"Hmmph. These better be easy, because I have to go soon."

Hatter seemed to be getting less confident. "Well, number 1, you have to take me with you. I can just act as a hat, and I won't be a bother."

"And number two?" asked Bowser.

"Well, um, you see, there's this other Bonneter, and I want you, to um, kidnap... her..."

"Show me," said Bowser. Hatter directed Bowser to a small hat ghost thing that was shaped like a tiara.

"Her name?"


"Of course." Bowser looked back at Hatter. "Okay. I accept."

"Great!" said Hatter.

"Oh, gosh, the airship is probably ready to fly again. Let's kidnap your lady and get out of here."