Code Of Mercy
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the movie Triple 9 and I'm not making any money from this fic
Summary: Next in the 'Code Of...' series. Sometimes pain is needed to help. A completed standalone bingo line: belt or strap, maintenance, encouraged, relief, friend or partner
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the whole of the Triple 9 movie; AU; references to violence
Gabe's own whimpering woke him.
He lay awake in the dark, staring at the nearly pitch black ceiling, and tried to talk himself out of going downstairs for a drink. Chris had never expressly forbidden it, but Gabe couldn't help thinking his new big brother would be disappointed in him if he fell off the wagon after all his hard work. It was easier to stay committed during the day, when he was surrounded by family. It was much harder at night time, when he was on his own. When the urge to numb himself to everything was nearly impossible to ignore.
A light knock on the door drew Gabe's attention and he immediately tensed. Had he woken Chris?
The door opened slowly and Gabe blinked as light flooded the room. He saw Chris standing framed there and couldn't help but wince. "I'm sorry I woke you up."
Chris shook his head and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. "I chose to let you wake me up." His eyes slanted to one corner of the room.
Gabe followed the line of Chris' gaze and blinked when he saw the glint of a baby monitor. "You were listening to me?" he asked, not sure what he thought of that. He couldn't shake the feeling he was acting like a baby and it was embarrassing.
Chris placed a hand on Gabe's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I'm your big brother now. I need to know if you're having nightmares."
"Oh." Gabe swallowed and looked down, though he couldn't help but lean into the touch. "Am I...am I in trouble for not telling you about my nightmares?" he asked softly.
"No. Of course not."
"Feels like I should be," Gabe muttered...though if he was totally honest with himself, he could admit that it was more about feeling guilty for his past. Even if Chris had forgiven him...had taken on the big brother role...Gabe didn't know how to forgive himself.
Chris stroked Gabe's shoulder. "I'm not going to punish you for having nightmares...for keeping them from me." As Gabe hunched in on himself, Chris was quick to add, "But as for a maintenance spanking..."
"What?" Surprise made Gabe look up into his brother's eyes.
"A maintenance spanking," Chris repeated. "I'm not going to keep on punishing you for what happened."
"For what I did..." Gabe whispered.
Chris' fingers squeezed Gabe's shoulder, almost to the point of allowing it to hurt. "I don't want you tearing yourself up with guilt," he said firmly. "I'll spank you, if you need to be settled and need to see that you're a good person who made a mistake...but I'm not gonna let you keep blaming yourself."
Gabe looked down, unable to help sniffling slightly. He was surprised to realise it felt like a weight had been lifted. Chris was promising him a spanking...to keep on spanking as often as he needed...but the thought didn't scare him. He wasn't sure what that said about him. "Will you use your belt?" he asked quietly. He remembered how much it had hurt when Chris had belted him that first time. But he'd also felt so much better emotionally that first time.
Chris was quiet for a moment and Gabe tensed, unable to help but feel guilty. He started to pull away, but his brother just wrapped his arm tightly around his shoulders. "I'm not saying no..." Chris began.
"But you don't like it," Gabe muttered, unable to stop himself from cuddling into Chris' side. He'd never really been that touchy-feely before and couldn't help but think there had to be something wrong with him that he kept needing to hug and be held.
Chris snorted softly. "I'm not supposed to like it, little brother. There'd be something wrong with me if I did." His hand stroked gently through Gabe's hair as, after a brief hesitation, he asked, "You think that'll help you feel better?"
Gabe nodded, his cheeks growing hot as he hid his face against Chris' shoulder. "You want me to pile some pillows in the middle of the bed while you grab your belt?"
"Nope, kid." Chris ruffled his hair. "But I do want you up and standing in the corner while I do."
If he'd been feeling more emotionally stable, Gabe might have protested, or at least questioned, being treated like a child. But maybe, if he'd been feeling more emotionally stable, he wouldn't need his big brother to do this. He rubbed at his eyes. "Which corner?" he whispered.
Instead of answering with words, Chris helped him to stand up and guided him over to one of the corners. He gently squeezed his shoulder and then Gabe heard him step away and walk quietly out of the room.
Gabe stayed in place, staring at the join in the walls. He thought in the quiet. He thought about what could have happened instead of what had happened. Chris could have easily been killed...and he knew he could have been killed just as easily. Tears filled his eyes and he let his head drop gently against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut.
It seemed to take an age before Gabe heard his brother walk back into the room. He stayed facing the corner, though, wanting to show obedience in waiting until he was told he could come out of the corner.
There was the rustling sound of movement and then Chris said quietly, "Come here, kid."
Taking a deep breath, Gabe turned slowly and stepped out of the corner. His brother was sitting on the bed, a folded belt next to him, and Gabe walked to his side. Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward over Chris' knees, shifting a little so that he was comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as he could be, considering he was about to get spanked.
Chris rubbed his back a moment or two and then Gabe felt his pants and underwear tugged down in one smooth movement. He took a deep breath and buried his head in his arms as he felt his bottom firmly patted before his brother started in with the spanking.
The swats weren't anything like as hard as they could have been as Chris swatted down to his thighs and then began again from the top. It didn't take long for his bottom to begin stinging and he began to squirm, unable to help it, blinking back the tears that welled in his eyes...from the deep emotion rather than the pain of the spanking.
By the time Chris finished spanking with his hand, Gabe was squirming around and his bottom felt like it had been stung by a swarm of bees. He choked on a sob as he felt his brother reach over him and pick up the belt. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I'm not looking for an apology here, little brother," Chris said.
"I...I don't know what I should say," Gabe admitted. "What do you want me to say?"
Chris gently let the belt rest on Gabe's bottom as he said, "I don't want you to say anything. I'm not telling you what to say or do. But I'm hoping this will help you feel better about yourself."
Gabe wasn't sure how to respond to that, but he tensed up when he felt the belt lifted. When it landed at the top of his backside, he jumped. The pain wasn't unbearable, but it definitely stung more than Chris' hand had.
After one complete circuit of stripes from the belt, Gabe was finding it hard to stay still. He couldn't help but whimper as the belt began falling once more, reaching down to grab onto his brother's ankle so he didn't throw it back to cover his bottom.
"I don't want you to be so torn up through guilt that you're hurting yourself," Chris said, letting the belt land on the final word. "I don't like spanking you. I don't like seeing you hurt. But I'll do it if the alternative is letting you suffer through this alone." He punctuated each sentence with a stripe from the belt.
Gabe hadn't been fighting the spanking, but with Chris' words, he slumped over his brother's knees and let himself cry. He felt Chris begin to rub his back and it made him begin to cry a bit harder.
Gabe felt himself shifted from over his brother's knee and into Chris' arms. Trying to stop crying, he quickly grabbed tightly onto his brother and pressed in close. "Th...thank you," he managed to get out.
"You're welcome." Chris tightened his arms around Gabe. "And now...I'm going to sit in with you until you fall asleep. And tomorrow, we'll go out. Me and you. Get some fresh air. Maybe grab a picnic."
"Okay." Gabe thought he should be embarrassed to be cuddled in Chris' arms, half-naked. Instead, he felt safe. Wanted. Cared about. Sniffling quietly, he wrapped his arms tightly around his brother and closed his eyes.
He was asleep in seconds.