Please read 'WTY' before reading this fic.


Dear Wheezy,

Before I ask you why the hell you are writing to me, I have to give you credit for not addressing me by my full name. You are correct, for once! I will still continue to be called 'Jeff', just as you will always be Wheezy to me. Why are you writing to me, you wretched cretin? Want me to come to your pathetic town and beat the living crap out of you?

You're in for it for telling your Mother! I warned you at school not to tell anyone, and now you have, you little shit! I'll be on your back forever now, and there is no way of getting rid of me! I am surprised that your Mother believed you. She always was a stupid bitch.

Ah, Lloyd Hunter! Still nosing into business that is not his own? Although, I will say that he COULD be useful, if only he wasn't so self-righteous.

I'm nearly 17, want me to come and beat you up?

I cannot believe you're still with that ugly midget. Her taste must be very low then, as well as her standards. I always thought she would be a whore when she was older, throwing herself at men to get rid of the foul taste of YOU. Guess not.

And the past should never be changed or altered. Haven't you seen Back To The Future?

Your obsession with airplanes is so juvenile. Seems that you're still a baby after all, and 5"6?! I was that when I was ten years old! I bet you are imitating one of those obnoxious boyband members, aren't you? With the floppy hair.

I am doing excellently at St Sebastian's Academy. Don't worry, you wouldn't have heard of the school before, only the elite go there. And St Champions was a shithole, waiting to be burned down. I only wish they did it, with you inside. Yes, yes, you're so hilarious, Wheezy. 'Headhunted'! You are truly pathetic. And I live somewhere only you could dream of. And when you Hunters left the school, well, let's just say that no-one missed you.

So, the great Lloyd Hunter was in a coma! Well, he should have fucking stayed in one! Clever Dinah Glass, clever Dinah Hunter, still a frigid bitch if I've seen one. Bet she wishes she was back at that Orphanage than with a bunch of pikeys.

Don't you dare insult the Headmaster! You ruined his life's work! And now you've bloody killed him!

Smith and Robinson are shit on my shoe. Fletcher, I admit I thought she was hot, but her sister's a druggie? Nice to know. So the frigid bitch finally got some.

I only speak to Peter, and no, he did not get with Sarah. Turns out she's left the country or some crap.

I hate Rose, she always dominated everything and thought that she was better than me! But she's not! You stated that she was a pawn, so I am better than her!

I don't want to answer anything about hypnotism. It's bullshit.

The whole Octopus thing and Hunky Parker thing was beneath me, so no, I didn't keep up with it. You stupid idiot.

Your last few sentences have made me cry with sheer joy. I have tears rolling down my face, and my sides are splitting from laughter.

Of course I got a thrill out of telling you the truth! Everything about you, Harvey Hunter, is WRONG! YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION!

I hope your Grandad dies, I hope your whole family perish! Come back to you? Oh, I have and you shouldn't be proud of writing a letter!

Your entire existence frustrated me, so I will not be 'starting afresh' with you. In fact, if you EVER speak to me or send me a letter again, I will be coming again.

Fuck you,

Jeff Morgan