Keeping What's Yours
Title: Keeping What's Yours
Disclaimer: We own nothing from Agents of SHIELD and are making nothing from this story.
Summary: Follows Longing To Belong. Learning how to belong when someone actually cares.
Warning(s): Spanking; Semi-erotic, non-sexual D/s story with the main characters being in a surrogate parent/child relationship; mentions of abusive relationships (not between two main characters); suggestions of dubious-consent / rape (off-scene, not between two main characters).
Authors: BlackFox12 and Hope1iz
It was a few days after Coulson had stepped in and completely claimed Grant as his boy; a few days when he'd kept the younger man at his safe house, away from the fallout that had come from Garrett's betrayal being revealed. Coulson didn't want to risk Grant getting caught in the crossfire.
Things had died down now, but rather than go straight back to SHIELD headquarters, Coulson had picked up some post. The paperwork he'd asked for had arrived and he headed into the kitchen, where they'd started making breakfast.
Grant was adding the finishing touches to the eggs; everything else was waiting on platters. He gave Coulson an uncertain smile as the older man came in. He still was having a hard time accepting that this was his life now; that not only had Garrett been arrested, but that Grant was a large part of the reason. It was even more difficult to reconcile his betrayal of both S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA ending with him being in Coulson's custody, instead of in jail awaiting trial and possible execution. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, despite Coulson offering reassurance every chance he got. It wasn't that he didn't believe Coulson. He did. It was that he didn't possibly see how Coulson could have the final say in what was done with him.
Setting the mail down, Coulson walked over and wrapped his arms around Grant in a hug, hoping that the more affection he gave his boy, the easier Grant would be. "Some very important paperwork arrived today," he said.
Grant tensed up as he normally did; but it was for a noticeably shorter amount of time, his shoulders relaxing within a few moments of the hug being initiated instead of him staying tense through the entire hug. "What paperwork is that, sir?" he asked softly, hesitantly curious. Garrett had never liked him asking questions- he should have remembered that when he'd confronted him about Skye- and often would set him up to get put in his place by leading with comments like that. So far, Coulson hadn't set him up in the same way, but it was difficult to overcome years of conditioning.
Coulson didn't loosen the hug, letting one hand stroke gently over his boy's back. "I told you I wanted you to be my boy...my son. And that's not changed. I have the paperwork to make it legal. As soon as you're ready."
Grant gave Coulson a startled look. "You...you actually went through with it..." He sounded shocked. He'd figured Coulson had just told him what he needed to tell him in order to calm Grant down and get his cooperation. He'd expected that the man would 'conveniently forget' what he'd said once Grant was obeying him and cooperating.
Coulson tightened his embrace a fraction. "I meant everything I said to you. I want you, boy." He wasn't surprised that Grant hadn't expected him to go through with it, even though it did sadden him that the younger man still found it hard to trust him.
Grant hesitantly wrapped his own arms around the older man. "Yes sir... I... I see that now..." he said cautiously. If Garrett hadn't liked being questioned, he'd disliked being disbelieved just as much. As far as Grant was concerned, Coulson would be well within his rights to give him a few bruises to remind him of the fact that he was to believe everything Coulson said, even if experience said he shouldn't.
Coulson pressed a kiss to Grant's forehead, fairly sure he knew where his boy's mind had gone. "If you want to ask me questions...if you need to question something...I want you to go with what feels right. I don't want you bottling things up because you're scared of how I might react, because I promise you, you have nothing to fear from me, boy."
Grant swallowed and nodded, letting himself relax a bit more and lean into the affection being offered. "I... I'll try, sir..." he whispered.
"You don't have to call me sir when we're alone," Coulson prompted gently, before adding, "And if you're ready to sign, you don't have to when we're around other people, either. But it's entirely your choice, boy. I want it to be the right time for you."
"Okay...daddy..." Grant glanced up almost bashfully, still getting used to the idea that Coulson wanted him to rely on him and relate to him like a father; and didn't view him as weak for doing so. "...I... if you really want me to, I'll sign..." he added hesitantly. It wasn't that he didn't want to belong to Coulson legally, but he was still having a hard time processing that Coulson really wanted it. He couldn't see how it would make any difference, other than giving Coulson a legal right to him. Since he'd decided he belonged to Coulson no matter what and what the older man said went, the legalities was just a little added insurance that he'd obey.
Coulson stroked his cheek and then gently gripped his neck; as always, careful not to hurt his boy, even as he dominated him. "The paperwork means that everyone will know of our relationship. As far as I'm concerned, I don't want to hide that, even if everything else between us is private and personal."
Grant smiled at that. It was a relief that he wouldn't have to hide his relationship with Coulson. He'd always had to pretend not to be as 'close' to Garrett as they actually were (although close was probably the wrong term to use, considering how the other man had treated him) and the thought that Coulson wanted everyone to know was a relief. "I... I don't want to hide it either..." he whispered.
"The paperwork is as much to prove I mean what I say when I tell you how much I want you as everything else," Coulson said softly, kissing Grant's forehead. "You're my boy," he whispered.
"I am yours..." Grant let out a tiny sigh and leaned into the older man, relaxing the rest of the way. While it wasn't easy for him to let go and accept affection yet; once he'd relaxed enough, he was as clingy and needy as a toddler.
Coulson tightened his embrace, gently stroking over the pulse point in Grant's neck. "If you want to eat breakfast in the main room, you can sit with me on the couch," he suggested, unwilling to let go of his boy, but knowing the food would get cold if they left it too long.
"Okay...daddy..." Grant whispered again, closing his eyes as Coulson's fingers caressed his neck. The action left him feeling vulnerable and completely dependent on Coulson; but then, he suspected that was a lot of the reason Coulson did it. Swallowing, he opened his eyes again and picked up the platters, but waited for some sign from his father (and that was still hard to wrap his head around) that he could take what he held into the other room. Coulson had indicated that he didn't need permission to move around as long as he hadn't been told not to move for some reason, but it was hard to not wait for permission.
Coulson wrapped his arm around Grant's waist, picking up the mail with the paperwork before guiding his boy into the other room.
Grant carefully put the platters onto the coffee table in front of the couch, not even attempting to pull away from Coulson once, even though the grip the older man had on his waist was a bit disconcerting. He still hadn't got used to how affectionate Coulson was. He was trying, but it wasn't easy, given how most of the affection he'd received in the past was a prelude to some type of punishment for a perceived wrong that he hadn't known he wasn't to do. He took a slow breath and tried not to let his nervousness show. All he wanted to do was give in, but the only time he had been able to just let go and accept Coulson's affection without waiting for a blow was during and directly after the man had punished him. At that point, he was so firmly under Coulson's control that he couldn't have hidden his need for affection, no matter how badly he might want to. He hated that it took Coulson taking him down as far as he could go before he could be truly honest with the other man, but Garrett had trained him well (though some would use the word conditioned instead of trained).
Coulson wasn't unobservant, by any means, and he knew that his boy was like a beaten dog, waiting for the next blow to come. Once the platters were in place, he kissed his boy's head. "I love you. You're my boy," he whispered, as reassuringly as he could, before he settled on the couch and gently tugged Grant down onto his lap.
Grant stiffened as he found himself on Coulson's lap instead of next to him like he'd thought he'd be. He gave Coulson a startled, questioning look. Did the older man really want to hold him like this? Be this affectionate and gentle with him? When he wasn't in trouble and crying his eyes out and needing to be calmed down? When there was no other reason to be affectionate and gentle other than wanting to be?
Coulson gently squeezed Grant's neck and kissed his head. "I love you. I want you close to me, boy." He let his hand slide up underneath Grant's shirt, stroking over his back underneath his clothing. Touching his boy's bare skin in the hope that the gentleness would soothe the raw hurts that still lurked beneath the surface.
Grant tensed further as Coulson's hand rubbed his bare skin and then he was just slumping against the older man, his head on Coulson's shoulder as he submitted to the touch. He whimpered softly but didn't pull away or protest; obviously starved for affection that wasn't painful or tied to ulterior motives.
Coulson continued to gently stroke and caress over Grant's back with his one hand, while his other alternated between lightly stroking over his boy's pulse point and squeezing Grant's neck.
Grant swallowed, shivering slightly and whimpering, but didn't pull away from any of the attention and even slanted his head so that his throat was more exposed to Coulson's grip. He belonged to Coulson; if the older man wanted to harm him, Grant wouldn't have stood in his way, though Coulson was acting anything but angry and Grant was beginning to believe that his soon-to-be father didn't have any intention of hurting him for the fun of it (like his family or Garrett). He was beginning to understand that the only pain Coulson would cause was if it was to teach him; and even then, it wouldn't be to harm.
Coulson gently stroked over Grant's neck and pulse point, kissing his boy's head and pulling him in closer and tighter. He stroked and rubbed, gently and affectionately, shifting Grant's clothing out of the way when needed to make it easier.
Grant quivered, feeling himself relax even more, allowing Coulson to move him however he needed to touch and rub wherever he needed. Any thoughts to eating had disappeared. His entire focus was on Coulson and being as obedient and cooperative as possible.
Coulson's intention was to get his boy to relax and feel comfortable and safe around him. He continued to stroke and rub, even as he leaned over his boy to pick up one of the plates of food. With his free hand, he began to feed his boy.
Grant blinked at finding himself being fed, but he didn't argue that he was capable of feeding himself. Coulson was in charge of him and if Coulson wanted to feed him like he was a baby, then Grant would eat what he was given. That being fed in this way had the additional effect of making him completely reliant on Coulson and pliant to Coulson's will wasn't lost on him. He just didn't particularly care. Coulson was his Dominant...his Daddy... if the older man suddenly decided Grant needed to go bottom up over his knee and receive a spanking before finishing their breakfast, Grant would turn himself over and push his bottom up, even though he knew he hadn't done anything wrong to be punished for. That's how relaxed and trusting he was feeling at the moment.
Coulson fed his boy, but he also kept stroking and rubbing and caressing, kissing Grant's head and squeezing his neck every so often. "I love you," he repeated. "You're my boy. My good boy."
Grant blinked at the words of praise, his eyes brightening and his mouth turning up in a smile. "I'm being good?" he asked quietly...hopefully.
"Very good," Coulson promised. "You're my good boy. And I love you. I'm happy you're here with me."
Grant's smile turned more bashful. "I... I'm glad I'm here too..." he admitted, looking down.
Coulson kissed his head and then gently touched his chin to encourage him to lift his head so he could continue feeding his boy. "No matter what happens, I'm not going to regret becoming your Daddy. Or pull the rug out from under you," he promised.
Grant smiled again, continuing to eat what he was fed. Part of him wanted to ask Coulson when he planned to eat- the food would get cold if he fed Grant first- but the part of him that had completely submitted to his new father didn't feel right questioning him...not yet, anyway. He was still learning his new position and role and hadn't quite got comfortable enough in it to assert himself, even if it was to show care for the older man. He did glance at the other plate of food pointedly, then darted a questioning look toward Coulson.
Coulson smiled at his boy's actions and gently stroked the side of Grant's face. "You can stay sitting on my lap and feed yourself while I eat as well," he suggested.
"Okay, daddy..." Grant smiled and shifted just enough that Coulson could feed himself, while Grant continued to eat from his own plate.
Coulson kept an arm around his boy's waist, gently pushing the shirt up so that his arm could rest against Grant's bare stomach and began eating as well.
Grant huffed softly in amusement and a little bit from being ticklish, but he didn't squirm away and managed to hold still and continue eating. He wondered if Coulson would prefer him to stay naked whenever they were alone in the house; he liked touching bare skin and was constantly having to readjust clothing so he could do so, but Grant felt odd bringing it up. If it was something Coulson wanted him to do, then the older man would say so. But it was still a little amusing how often Grant ended up with his shirts hitched up under his arms so that his belly, chest and back were exposed; and how often the necks of his shirts were stretched oddly so that Coulson could reach his shoulders.
Coulson kept his arm against his boy's chest and stomach, so he could gently stroke and rub Grant's bare skin even while he was still eating.
Grant didn't take much longer to finish eating and leaned back against Coulson so that the older man could reach his body easier; it may have amused him that Coulson constantly wanted to touch bare skin, but he couldn't deny that the act also made him feel calmer and more settled. More like he belonged, not only with Coulson but to him. He sighed softly, contented and waited for Coulson to finish eating. He'd clean up after.
Finishing his own food, Coulson set the plate down, but didn't immediately get up or get his boy up, instead continuing to gently stroke and rub and caress with one hand, while his other settled in place over Grant's pulse point, rubbing and stroking in a possessive manner.
Grant arched slightly so his neck was more exposed and wriggled so that more of his chest and belly were able to be touched.
Coulson let his fingers gently trace over the more exposed part of Grant's neck, squeezing gently, though he was very careful not to cause any harm. His other hand adjusted his boy's shirt to make it easier to get to the bare skin of his chest and stomach.
Grant closed his eyes and shivered, feeling himself falling more and more into a completely reliant frame of mind. Soon, he wouldn't be able to do anything without his Daddy directing it.
"I've got you. You're my boy," Coulson whispered, continuing to touch and stroke and rub, kissing his cheek.
Grant shivered, letting his eyes look toward Coulson, his eyelids heavy. "...Yours, Daddy..." he whispered, feeling himself falling even further down into neediness. Coulson wasn't hurting him. Wasn't hitting him or leaving bruises from 'too rough' handling. It made him feel warm inside. He blushed faintly as his body began to react to the gentleness...not quite as badly as it had the first time Coulson had spanked him but reacting never-the-less. His tummy was taut and quivering and his nipples pebbled as his chest was rubbed. He didn't know if he should stop the affection (he really didn't want to), or risk that his body would react again the way it had before. No matter how often Coulson had told him he understood and it didn't bother him, it bothered Grant.
Coulson continued the gentle affection, pressing a kiss to Grant's head. "Don't worry about how you react, boy," he whispered, his voice low and reassuring.
"C...can't help it..." Grant whimpered, arching a little more so that Coulson could rub easier. As much as his reactions embarrassed him, his need for affection was stronger. His head canted back a little more, exposing more of his throat.
"It doesn't matter, boy. I'm not upset or disgusted. It doesn't make me care about you any less." Coulson gently gripped his neck. "Is there anything that will make you feel better or more comfortable?"
"I don't know..." Grant admitted, pressing back into Coulson's hand and quivering again. He took a slow breath. "It just feels so good when you...when you rub me. You treat me like I'm so important and it doesn't hurt and I feel safe and... and loved... I don't know why that causes me to automatically..." He blushed again, glancing down at his chest, where his nipples were still hard and aching, if he were being truthful. He sighed, not able to look Coulson in the eye.
Coulson kept his grip on Grant's neck, light and gentle, and continued to gently stroke and rub, showing no sign of hesitation. "You are important. You are safe. And I love you. It doesn't matter how you react...but if your reactions are bothering you, maybe we can talk about them."
Grant squirmed even as he arched some more, seeking more of the affection. "I... just... I know it's innocent. I can't seem to stop...I feel like I should be able to stop..." He swallowed and squirmed again.
Coulson didn't stop the gentle affection, kissing his boy's head. "You can't control those types of reactions, boy. And there's nothing wrong with them. Do you think it's because you aren't used to the gentle kind of affection?"
"...Maybe?" Grant said hesitantly, his voice a little high pitch and slightly strained as he shifted again. "...I never really let myself be physical with anyone, platonic or otherwise, except..." He winced. Now that he thought about it, the only time he allowed himself gentle physical affection was when he was on an op that required him to sleep with the target. He'd quickly learned to separate his mind from his body so that he could have the needed reactions even in cases where he would have normally been completely uninterested and not attracted. It was the best way to succeed at the mission and keep Garrett from beating him for failure.
"Except...?" Coulson prompted gently, his thumb stroking gently over Grant's pulse point, using the affection to calm and settle his boy.
"...Except when Garrett had me on an op that required me to have sex with my target..." he whispered, slumping slightly. "...I'm like Pavlov's deranged dog..." He winced again, not sure how much he needed to explain, or if Coulson could read between the lines.
Coulson winced at that, tightening his arms around his boy and kissing his head, gently squeezing Grant's neck. "Your body's trained to react a certain way. Exactly like I said...you can't help it. But you won't ever have to do something like that again. You're my boy. I won't let go of you."
Grant closed his eyes tight and pressed closer to his Daddy. "...You aren't ashamed of me? Of how I...? Garrett used to laugh when I'd get back from the missions. Pat me on the back and say I was the best agent he had when it came to seducing a mark." Grant snorted. "...Said if he leaned that way, he'd be tempted to find out exactly how I managed to..." He swallowed and cringed this time. "...How the hell did I not see how creepy that was?" He whimpered faintly.
Coulson wrapped his arms tightly around Grant. "I wouldn't ever be ashamed of you, boy," he said softly. "I love you. And I'm not going to ever make you do something like that. As for not noticing with Garrett...you never knew anything else. You never had a father who truly cared about and loved you and put you first."
Grant just pressed closer and didn't say anything, not sure what he could say to Coulson's words. He did feel a little hopeless, though. Now that he'd thought it through and made the connection, realized why he kept becoming aroused when Coulson was affectionate... he didn't see how he could allow himself to accept such affection anymore. It made him sad; he'd needed it more than he'd thought he ever would and the thought of giving it up now that he'd had it was difficult. But if he had the same reaction every single time... "...I'm sorry..." he whispered. "...I'm more messed up than even I knew and I'm sorry..." He shifted, as if to get up. If he couldn't let himself cuddle anymore, then he needed to put some distance.
"No, boy." Coulson tightened his arms around Grant, pulling him in closer and tighter. "You don't get to decide to pull away. Not when I know you need this. It doesn't matter to me how you react and it shouldn't matter to you." He considered for a moment or two and then gently moved Grant over his knees. "I'm not going to spank you. You're not in trouble," he said soothingly.
Grant tensed slightly as he went over Coulson's knees, but found himself relaxing almost immediately when the older man reassured him that he wasn't in trouble. "...Okay, daddy..." he whispered hesitantly and shifted slightly. The conversation had killed his arousal, but he was still a little agitated and was afraid it wouldn't take much to bring another 'reaction'.
Coulson adjusted his boy's position, so there was no friction, and began to stroke and rub and caress, pushing Grant's shirt up out of the way for easier access.
Grant whimpered. He needed the affection so badly- it had been helping to settle him- but now knowing how it also caused him to react in ways that he never intended to, he found himself fighting himself; tensing up in an effort to not be affected by it and become aroused.
"Stop fighting," Coulson ordered, gently stroking his boy's back and moving his other hand round to lightly squeeze Grant's neck. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."
At Coulson gently squeezing his neck, Grant couldn't help but obey, allowing himself to relax. He shivered and took a quivery breath as Coulson gently rubbed his back, closing his eyes. Despite himself, he began to focus on his Daddy's hands- one gently squeezing his neck, the other rubbing his back- and let out a tiny sigh. He felt safe with Coulson. Safe, protected, loved... and he felt warm inside that the older man wanted to show him such care. He let out his breath in a slow exhale that was a whimper.
Coulson kept one hand squeezing and stroking over Gran's neck, his other stroking over his son's back, going from his shoulders down to his hips. While he wasn't going to spank his boy, he also continued the rubbing and stroking down over Grant's bottom and his legs.
Grant whimpered again, squirming as he felt himself reacting to the gentleness. "...I'm sorry..." he whispered, trying not to tense up, because Coulson had told him not to fight his reactions. And he wanted to obey. He needed to obey. But he was also ashamed, even if Coulson had said he didn't need to be.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of, boy," Coulson said. "It doesn't bother me and it shouldn't bother you either. I want to be affectionate and gentle with you. You're mine." He hesitated, considering, and then began to tug Grant's pants down. Making his boy naked would make Grant more vulnerable to him...but that would also mean nothing was hidden.
Grant flushed darkly as the only barrier he had between his reactions and Coulson seeing or feeling his reactions was eliminated. He let out a tiny, choked cry, but didn't fight what Coulson was doing. He belonged to Coulson. He'd agreed that he did. He needed to obey and let Coulson call the shots. It wasn't easy, though, because there was no hiding anything from Coulson now. Plus, the lack of barrier made it impossible for him to hold back any longer. Even a little bit. Whimpering, he began to squirm.
"I've got you." Coulson spoke softly and soothingly, like he might talk to a frightened animal. "You don't have to be scared or worried or ashamed. You're my boy." He began to remove Grant's clothes entirely. "And you don't get to hide anything from me."
Grant managed to keep himself from tensing up, remaining loose limbed and pliable enough that Coulson could undress him. He couldn't stop himself from beginning to cry; not hard, not vocally, but enough that Coulson would see as soon as he looked in his face. Since he was still over Coulson's knee, he wasn't too worried about the older man finding out that he was being a baby. If Coulson decided to flip him over so that he had to look him in the eye, like he'd done the first day when he'd taken ownership of him, then he'd not be able to hide it. But then again, he'd just been told he wasn't allowed to hide anything, so trying to do so would be disobedient. And he wanted to obey. He needed to. "...'m yours..." he finally managed to say, in a quivery voice.
"Mine," Coulson reiterated. "It doesn't matter what happens. Nothing will change that. You're my boy. I love you and I don't want you to hide anything from me. You don't need to hide anything, because it won't change how I feel about you. And we've got the paperwork to sign to make that completely official, in every way possible."
Grant whined this time, squirming even more. "...Yours, daddy...won't hide...y...you don't want me to..." His voice caught, and he closed his eyes tight against the tears.
Coulson gently squeezed his boy's neck and then carefully rolled Grant over, so his boy was on his back and they could look into each other's eyes. He stroked Grant's cheek. "I don't want you to hide from me. I need you to be open and honest. It means I can help you better...take care of you."
Grant swallowed hard but forced himself to keep looking into Coulson's eyes. The fact he was crying was glaringly obvious, but he didn't try and hide it, even if he was embarrassed at being weak and a baby. The fact he was aroused again was more than glaringly obvious and it was all he could do not to cover himself with his hands. His Dom... his Daddy... told him he didn't want him to hide anything. Even if it was humiliating and he felt ashamed, he was going to do his best to obey. "Why can't I stop doing this?" he whispered in an embarrassed voice.
Coulson stroked Grant's cheek and then squeezed his neck, stroking gently over the pulse point. "It isn't a problem, boy. It's a reaction you don't have any control over. It isn't a problem."
Grant blinked back tears, moving his head so his neck was more exposed before whimpering and saying in a tiny, almost timid voice, "It feels like a problem..."
Coulson continued to gently stroke and squeeze Grant's neck and his pulse point, his other hand stroking over his boy's chest and stomach. "You're being open and honest with me. This is a part of letting me see all of you, boy."
Grant relaxed slightly at the evidence Coulson really wasn't disgusted. He wriggled a bit more as the gentle stroking over his chest and belly continued, his stomach flipping. He whimpered, arching into Coulson's hand, while alternately squeezing his knees together, then throwing them apart as he tried to find a comfortable position. "I... Sir... Daddy... " He groaned in obvious frustration, knowing he needed to ask for permission to get up and leave to take care of himself, but still fighting the shame that it was even necessary.
Coulson kept looking into his boy's eyes, stroking and rubbing and squeezing and caressing. "I know you're scared, boy. Scared and vulnerable. But you don't need to hide from me. You don't need to hide anything from me."
Grant whimpered again, keeping his gaze on Coulson's eyes. Tears were still falling down his face, but they were slowly being replaced by a look of discomfort. Continuing to squirm, he whined. "...Daddy... Sir... please... can I... please let me..." he begged uncertainly. Coulson said to let him see everything and not hide anything, no matter what. Did that mean those needs too?
Coulson didn't look away, keeping eye contact with Grant, stroking his pulse point and squeezing his neck. "Don't worry, boy. It's not a bad thing," he said, in a soft, reassuring voice. "There's no reason to feel ashamed. What's bad about letting yourself let go in front of the person who considers you the most important person in his life?"
Grant blinked at that, caught short. He'd begun to believe Coulson cared about him...but the most important person in his life? He'd thought for sure one of Coulson's numerous other friends would fill that spot, no matter how much Coulson cared about him. His breath caught in his throat and he shook his head, then nodded, then shook his head again, as if confused, before he whispered, in a tiny voice, "Nothing?"
Was Coulson giving permission to...? It seemed like he was. A look of shock crossed his face and he tensed up before relaxing boneless over Coulson's knee, still staring into the older man's eyes. He bit his lip uncertainly and blushed darkly, but didn't look away, obviously still a bit rattled and semi-shocked. He hadn't even touched himself.
Coulson continued to gently stroke Grant's neck and over his chest and stomach, still holding eye contact with his boy. "You're okay, boy," he said softly. "It's all okay. I've got you. You're mine."
Grant hesitantly smiled, just sinking back and accepting the affection. Now nothing embarrassing was occurring, his body had apparently decided it had done what it was supposed to and relaxed. "...Yours..." he repeated in a whisper, continuing to keep his eyes on Coulson, even as he shifted so his body was as open and vulnerable as his emotions were. "...All of me inside and out...yours..." He swallowed then bit his lip, hoping he hadn't overstepped.
"Every part of you belongs to me," Coulson replied. "And I've chosen you, Grant. You're my boy. No matter what happens, that's not going to change. I love you. And I want you."
Grant's smile went crooked and he sniffled. "I love you too, Daddy...you saved me..." he whispered.
Coulson leaned over and kissed his boy's forehead. "You're mine. And I won't ever let you go," he whispered possessively.
Grant closed his eyes briefly before looking back into Coulson's eyes sheepishly. "Maybe you'll need to a little bit? I... I need a shower..." He glanced down. He'd made a mess of himself.
Coulson gave him a reassuring smile. "While you do that, I'll clean up the items from breakfast," he said, stroking his boy's cheek.
Grant leaned his face into Coulson's hand. "Okay, daddy..." He smiled but didn't move, waiting for permission to get up.
Coulson helped his boy to stand and got to his feet as well before pressing a kiss to his head. "I'll see you in a few minutes."
Grant nodded quickly, then made his way to the shower. Soon, he was standing under the warm spray; he began singing without realizing, he was in such a good mood.
Coulson couldn't help but smile as his boy's voice reached him, taking care of the cleanup while he waited for Grant and then setting out the paperwork.
Grant got out and dried off before going to find clothes. As soon as he was dressed, he went to find Coulson.
Coulson was sat on the couch, checking over the paperwork to make sure everything was in order.
Grant walked in almost bashfully. He was trying not to be ashamed; Coulson had told him not to be so many times now, it felt disobedient to keep focusing on it, but he'd still never expected to have that happen in front of his superior officer, his protector, his father figure. Then again, the older man was also his Dom... Coulson owned him in every way that mattered. He supposed putting a label on what they were to each other was impossible and pointless and what had happened might very well be his new normal until his body unlearned what it had learned.
"I made sure not to use all the hot water..." he said quietly, before sitting down at Coulson's feet; not because Coulson had said he had to (and he'd move immediately if Coulson requested it), but because it felt right at that moment. He rested his head against the older man's thigh and glanced toward the table where some of the paperwork was.
Coulson didn't ask Grant to move, reaching out and gently stroking his boy's hair. "Thank you, boy," he said, his voice warm with affection. "Are you ready to sign?"
"Yessir..." Grant answered quickly, if softly. He looked up into Coulson's eyes to make sure the older man was certain about it; also allowing Coulson to see how much he wanted to belong to him.
Coulson gently stroked Grant's cheek. "I'm glad. Because I want you, boy." He'd already signed the paperwork and he passed it to his boy with his free hand, his other one continuing the affection.
Grant relaxed at those words and took the papers, signing quickly. "I'm yours now...legally..." he whispered, before hiding his face against Coulson's leg. "Thank you..."
"In every way possible, you're mine." Coulson stroked Grant's head, repeating, "You're mine. I won't ever let you get taken away from me."
"Promise?" Grant hated how scared and childish he sounded, but it was still hard for him to believe that Coulson would have any say in whether Grant would be taken away, if anyone ever found out what he'd done for Garrett. He hadn't been a good man. Even if a lot of what he'd done, SHIELD would have asked him to do anyway, there was still enough questionable and bad in his actions that SHIELD wouldn't have sanctioned that he had a hard time believing Coulson could protect him from the consequences. He'd confessed the main part of it to Coulson and been punished for what had been a betrayal of his guardian, but the individual activities and jobs? He hadn't even come close to confessing them all and he knew if they came to light, certain factions would be calling for his blood; for his head on a pike (or the closest modern day equivalent).
"I promise," Coulson replied, continuing to stroke Grant's head. "Even if there's more you need to tell me...you're mine. I protect what's mine."
Grant visibly relaxed at that. "I belong to you..." He sighed softly, his tone relieved. "...Makes me feel safe..." he admitted shyly. For as long as he'd belonged to Garrett, he'd never once felt truly 'safe' with the man. Felt like he owed him. Felt like if he didn't remain loyal, there were worse things out there. But he'd never felt safe. "There's so much more you don't know..." he admitted. "...My being Garrett's spy...HYDRA...those are likely the worse as far as how I came to be in your hands...but I don't know that they are the worst..." He glanced down at that, ashamed.
"It doesn't matter, boy," Coulson replied, his voice reassuring. "Whatever you tell me, even if you're ashamed of it, it won't change how I feel about you. I won't ever be ashamed of you. I love you."
Grant looked up at that, his gratitude obvious. "I love you too, Daddy..." he said quietly. "How...how do you want to handle me being on your team? Am...am I allowed to return to the field...following your orders this time?" He bit his lip uncertainly. He didn't want to be benched. He wanted to help Coulson; the rest of the team. He just wasn't sure, after his betrayal had come to light, if Fury would allow it.
"What do you want to do?" Coulson asked. "I can place you wherever you want to be...at least within reason. You won't be going on ops alone." Which was as much to do with not wanting to lose his boy as anything else.
"I want to stay on your team...do ops for you..." Grant admitted. "I... I understand not being allowed to go alone; Fitz and I did really well together, though and May and I work well together if you don't take me with you..."
Coulson smiled. "I'll have you working with me, but I'll have you working with the others, too." He paused and added, "It's up to you how much you tell them about Garrett. I'm not going to give them any information, so it's entirely your decision."
Grant nodded. "I... I want to leave it up to you, to be honest. I've kept it secret for so long, I don't know how to bring it up, but if it is something they need to know... well, I trust you to know if it is need to know or if it is just the wanting to know and I'll obey your decision..." He glanced up again, shyly. He left it unsaid that he just didn't feel comfortable making huge decisions like that on his own. Garrett had ruled with an iron fist; the longest Grant had ever gone where he made his own decisions or run his own life was when he'd joined Coulson's team. And at that point, Coulson was the one making most of the decisions.
Coulson nodded, stroking his cheek and down over the pulse point in his neck. "I'll judge the situations and tell you if there's anyone who I think needs to know."
"Thank you, Daddy..." Grant slanted his head so that his neck was more exposed. It was becoming habit to make himself as vulnerable as possible to Coulson; to show the older man trust as well as to push his own insecurities down and let Coulson help him trust more.
Coulson gently squeezed his boy's neck. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me when we're back at SHIELD, boy. I'm not going to hide that I've adopted you. I don't want you to feel like you have to. Or that I'm not prepared to still be your daddy even when we're not at home."
Grant swallowed, pressing his neck against Coulson's hand while staring up into Coulson's eyes. "I won't hide it, then...if you don't think it will cause you problems, I don't mind who knows I belong to you..." he said quietly. It was obvious he meant as more than Coulson's adopted son...but that it was a bit deeper than that. After everything he'd done, he figured, "...Maybe people will be more accepting of me still being around if it's obvious you have complete control over me..." He blinked as he realized he'd whispered that last aloud.
Coulson still gently gripped his boy's neck, keeping eye contact with Grant. "I'll keep a careful eye on you, boy. If I can see you need me to demonstrate that control in front of anyone else, I'll do that. But only if it's necessary."
"Yessir..." Grant whispered again, smiling crookedly and turning his head just enough to place a chaste kiss against Coulson's wrist. "...I know there are some who will need to see you in control of me...I've done so many wrong things, I know some of them will come out eventually...I just hope they don't cause problems for you..." he whispered again, with a hint of guilty self-loathing.
Coulson could hear the note in his boy's voice and he gently cupped Grant's cheek with his other hand. "Are any of those things bothering you, boy?" His voice was gentle, but still firm, indicating he wanted his boy to be honest with him.
"A lot of them bother me, Daddy..." Grant admitted, with a tiny sigh. "...At the time, I figured I was just doing my job and it didn't matter, as long as John was happy. Now...the more I think about what I did, remember what I did and think about how you would have never wanted me to do it...I know you wouldn't have... I just feel sick inside."
Coulson leaned over and kissed Grant's forehead. "Why don't we spend a bit of time each day talking about one of the things that bothers you?" he suggested. "If talking doesn't work and you feel guilty, I can give you a spanking if need be."
Grant winced at the last but found himself nodding. He already felt guilty, so he had no doubt he'd end up over Coulson's knees. He needed to tell Coulson everything, though. The chances of something from his past hurting everyone were diminished if Coulson knew the truth.
Coulson stroked his boy's cheek, his other hand squeezing his neck and stroking Grant's pulse point possessively. "It won't change anything between us, boy," he promised.
"I know...Still...I don't know how I ever thought it was okay when I was doing it..." Grant sighed and began to tell his father about one of the first missions he did for Garrett after graduating from the SHIELD academy. One that he now knew wasn't sanctioned by SHIELD and was actually a HYDRA op.
Coulson kept eye contact with his boy, stroking the side of Grant's face and squeezing his neck, giving him his full attention.
It was hard getting through the recitation. Not because the mission itself was all that difficult for Grant; it had actually been fairly straightforward and easy. Sneak in, plant information, sneak out. It was what had occurred after that had been difficult. After Grant had finished the mission successfully, one of the agents that Grant wasn't too familiar with had been killed on an op. Garrett had gleefully informed him of the news, saying that the agent 'had it coming' and it never would have happened if Grant hadn't done such a good job. It was then Grant found out that the mission he'd just completed had not been a SHIELD mission and it had been to set the other agent up. Grant had been indirectly responsible for their death; though it could never be tied to him or anyone else. Grant had pushed the guilt down deep; if Garrett knew he was feeling badly about what had occurred, a beating would be the least of his problems. He'd kept quiet all these years, but he felt like Coulson needed to know. After he'd explained everything, he couldn't face his new father and stared at the ground, waiting for the older man to respond.
Coulson closed his eyes with a wince, but he didn't let go of Grant or pull away from his boy. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms tightly around his boy, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You never actually killed her..."
Grant stilled at that and said in a very tiny, hesitant voice, "I never said it was a woman agent..." If he sounded scared, it was because he was. He was scared to find out that the person who had died had been a friend of his father.
Coulson leaned in closer and tightened his arms around his boy, not wanting Grant to pull away or become even more frightened. "I knew the agent who died." His voice was low and calm. He didn't want this knowledge to hurt his boy.
Grant slumped at that information. "I caused one of your friends to be hurt?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer, but needing to ask all the same. He didn't pull away from his father, though, pressing closer to the older man.
"No, boy. You didn't cause it," Coulson said. "That was entirely on Garrett. From what you've just told me, it was him who set up the mission so that she would die. You didn't have that information." He kissed Grant's head. "I really don't blame you."
"I blame me..." Grant admitted. "I've felt like...if I'd just asked a few more questions, maybe..." He swallowed. It was easy to say he would have done things differently if he'd had all the information, but he knew the truth was he'd not have dared to stand up to Garrett. Not at that point in time. It had taken several months of being under Coulson's leadership and seeing how an actual caring leader led and seeing how he could be cared about that had given him the courage to stand up to the other man. The fact was, even if he had known the truth before he carried out the mission, chances were he would have done it anyway, because Garrett told him to. "...It doesn't matter...it was my actions that led to her dying. And we both know I wasn't in a place where I'd have stood up to him then, even if I had known..." He quickly wiped the back of his hand over his eyes.
"You were deeply hurt," Coulson answered. "You weren't truly cared about by Garrett and only knew the kind of affection you got from him." He pulled Grant closer to himself. "I'm going to put you over my knee, boy, but I'm still going to love you. I'm not going to harm you. And even though I don't truly believe you did anything wrong...I forgive you."
Grant nodded, letting out a shaky breath and wiping his eyes again before quickly throwing his arms around Coulson in a tight hug before he released him and waited for the older man to handle him.
Coulson stroked the side of Grant's face and then moved his boy over his lap...but settled him face-up, so they could see each other's eyes, before gently lifting Grant's legs, tugging his pants and underwear up and out of the way.
Grant was beyond being embarrassed at having his father see him vulnerable; it had occurred enough times by now that he just bit his lip and gave his father a thankful look that the older man was willing to take care of him still. He kept his eyes on Coulson's face the entire time, letting the older man see how guilty he still felt after all the years that had passed, letting him see how sorry he was, letting him see how much he needed Coulson to take care of him and not give up on him because of what he'd unknowingly did; because even though Coulson had said he didn't hold him responsible, Grant was still afraid maybe it would be too much and Coulson would back away.
Coulson stroked Grant's cheek, then squeezed his neck before he delivered the first firm smack that he then repeated, holding eye contact with his boy.
Grant winced as the first few swats landed but managed to keep his eyes open and focused on Coulson's eyes. It didn't take long for tears to begin streaming down his face, though. The guilt had been with him for years and it was a relief to finally share that burden with someone that he didn't have to be afraid of. On top of that, he felt completely vulnerable and at his father's mercy. The sharp sting he could feel, even as he could see the care and concern in Coulson's face, contributed to breaking down what few walls he'd built up. "I'm sorry, Daddy..." he said, in a choked whisper. "...So sorry..."
"I know, boy." Coulson squeezed his neck, stroking lightly over his pulse point. "But I've forgiven you. I love you." He settled into a pattern of swats, going to Grant's thighs before starting from the crest again.
The unique position Coulson held him in didn't just let Grant look into his father's eyes; it allowed him to watch his father's hand rise and swing down right before smacking him. Which was, truthfully, a bit unnerving and made him feel even smaller. Not knowing when the smacks would land gave him the ability to distance himself just a little; it was completely out of his hands. Watching as Coulson's hand descended? He had to make the conscious decision to stay in place and not fight each time a smack landed. He couldn't distance himself even if he wanted to. Unable to watch his father's hand because he was afraid he'd try and get away if he kept watching it, he returned his eyes to Coulson's face and refused to look anywhere else. His lower lip wobbled as he tried not to cry too loudly; he was crying, though. And vocally. "I was so bad..." he whimpered out. "I don't wanna be bad anymore...wanna be good...wanna be good for you..."
Coulson stroked his boy's face and down over his neck and pulse point, gently squeezing. "You are good, boy. You're my good boy. I promise you that you aren't bad."
"H...how can you s...say that after everything I've done wrong?" Grant asked brokenly, staring into his father's eyes, pressing his neck more firmly into the older man's hand, trusting him fully.
Coulson gripped gently, careful not to harm even while he possessively held onto his boy. "You made mistakes, but you're not a bad person. I love you. You're mine. And you won't ever have to do something that will hurt you so much again."
"I won't ever listen to anyone else's orders ever again, 'less you tell me too..." Grant promised in a shaky voice, wincing as the sting from the spanking was lasting beyond the initial smacks and was blending all together into one long burning sensation on his bottom.
"Good boy," Coulson said, beginning to smack a bit harder and faster. "You are my good boy."
"Daddy..." Grant whimpered, then whined in a shaky voice. He didn't fight or struggle or even try and squirm out of the way, though. For some reason, it was a lot easier staying still when he could see his father's face. Having to hold his own legs in place while his father punished also seemed to make it a little easier not to squirm away. Gulping slightly and taking a quivery breath, Grant continued to watch his father's eyes, his own eyes filled with tears that continued to slide down his face. "...Yours...you..your good boy..." he finally whispered.
"My good boy," Coulson replied. "I love you. I'm never going to let you go." He began focusing more swats to Grant's sit spots and thighs.
The more sensitive areas of his backside were always more difficult to handle getting smacked... the position he was in had the added benefit (to the one punishing him) of stretching the skin out a little more taut so each smack was felt more keenly. Coulson had only got a few smacks on his thighs before Grant just started sobbing. He managed to hold still; still gripping his legs in place tightly, but the tensing of his bottom with each smack was obvious. He kept his eyes on Coulson, but by this point, he couldn't see for the tears. "Hurts, Daddy..." he finally sobbed, unable to be 'brave' anymore.
Coulson couldn't bring himself to continue with the spanking, bringing it to a stop and quickly gathering his boy into a close, tight embrace. He kissed Grant's head and cuddled him tightly. "I love you," he reiterated.
Grant wrapped his own arms around Coulson and held on tightly, burying his head against the older man's chest. "I'm sorry, Daddy...so sorry...I love you so much..." he whispered, even as he nuzzled as close as he could.
Coulson tightened his embrace, kissing the top of his boy's head. "I love you. I've got you. And you don't have to be sorry anymore, boy."
"You've got me..." Grant reiterated, nuzzling some more. "...I'm yours...you'll help me be good...won't let me be bad...won't do things anymore I have to be sorry for..." he whispered; partly to himself, partly to confirm with Coulson that the older man had him and wouldn't give him orders that hurt his soul.
"You're mine," Coulson whispered. "I won't make you or expect you to do anything that I know will hurt you. I'm always going to protect you and take care of you."
"Thank you, Daddy..." Grant snuggled a bit more before leaning up and hesitantly giving Coulson a kiss on the cheek.
Coulson kissed his forehead. "I love you so much, Grant. Thank you for being mine."
Grant let out a very tiny, amused huff. "I should be thanking you for wanting me...especially after everything I did to you..." he said quietly, sniffling every so often.
Coulson smiled at that, stroking the side of his boy's face. "I wanted you on my team from the start. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise I wanted you as my boy, but I'm not going to ever change my mind or let go of you."
Grant swallowed hard at that and snuggled closer. "I didn't know I wanted to be yours till you told me I was...was too blinded by my loyalty to Garrett. Thank you for not letting me get away. I really don't think I'd be okay if you didn't have me now..." he whispered.
"I do have you. You're my boy." Coulson kissed his head. "And I don't care who knows it."
"I don't either...in fact, I'd feel better if everyone knew. Garrett...he always bragged about how I was 'his man' ... that he could get me to do anything he asked just by looking at me and pointing." Grant flushed. "He never said anything that caused a check on me, but I know most people assumed things. I was a bit surprised when you never looked at me like you assumed those things when I first joined you. There's going to be a lot of people who will believe I'm still in his pocket and playing you...the more open we are about things..." He blushed darker. "I'd rather everyone talk about how I belong to you and how you keep me in line than talk about me fooling you and betraying you worse. I know the only one whose belief in me matters is you, but I... I don't want to be 'the traitor'; even if that's what I was and deserve the distrust, I don't want to be that."
Coulson tightened his arms around his boy. "You're not my 'man', Grant. You're my boy. My son. Whatever makes you feel better and happier...that's what we'll do. Because you're vastly important. You're my priority. Taking care of you? That's all I want to do. I'm not going to make you do anything that will hurt you or make you feel guilty. I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy..." Grant gave a crooked smile. "I...I don't want to have o pretend or act differently with you when others are around; or at least not in front of the people you trust..." Grant didn't say that they trusted; he didn't trust anyone, really. Other than Coulson. His ability to trust had been broken too many times. "If they know how much I'm yours...how you have control over me, I'd rather they know than try and act like I know what to do when I have no clue. I need to be able to ask you to tell me what to do if I haven't got a clue..." He looked down.
Coulson stroked the side of his boy's face, gently touching Grant's chin to encourage his boy to look up at him. "If you feel better to act like you are...my boy...around the others, then I'm happy to let them see. If it came to punishing, though, I'd prefer to keep that private. I don't think anyone else should see you that vulnerable apart from me."
Grant bit his lip and nodded, giving Coulson a hesitant smile. "Garrett wouldn't have cared about that..." he admitted. "He never had a problem punishing me in front of anyone...course, his punishments usually were beatings...still..." He grimaced, still wrapping his head around the idea that he'd followed someone like Garrett for so long. "But...I... I think I'd rather everyone you trust know how it is with us. Maybe not anyone you don't completely trust...so maybe I should keep it to myself unless you tell me the person is okay..." He wrinkled his nose thoughtfully.
"The people I completely trust are those on the team...and Fury, of course," Coulson added. "But the team still cares about you, Grant. I'm fairly sure they wouldn't be very happy about me punishing you in front of them..."
Grant blushed. "I... I didn't mean so much you punishing me in front of them; unless you think it's necessary, of course." He faltered. "I meant more about you dominating me..." he whispered.
Coulson's smile was gentle and fond as he kissed his boy's head. "That...I'm comfortable doing," he promised; though he knew he would carefully watch Grant's reactions to make sure his boy wasn't being pushed too much.
Grant smiled back, more at ease with Coulson's affirmation. "Thank you, Sir..." he said quietly.
Coulson stroked Grant's hair. "Whatever you need from me, I'll provide," he promised. "I love you. I'll make sure to keep you safe. Look after you. Take care of you."
"No one's ever done that for me before..." Grant said, with a bit of confusion.
"I am going to do that. You're my boy," Coulson said firmly. "And now you are in every way that it's possible to be. As I told you...you're the most important person in my life."
"I'll be good for you! I'll be the best boy I could possibly be...you won't regret giving me a chance!" Grant promised fervently. "I'll be whatever you want me to be!"
Coulson tightened his embrace. "I don't want you to be anything else other than you, boy," he said gently. "And I already know I won't regret this...I won't regret you."
"Oh...okay..." Grant wasn't sure what to do with that information, but found he was relieved. He believed Coulson fully. "Will...will I be going back to the bus with you? Do they all know what...?"
"They'll have heard the rumours, but I asked Fury to let me be the one to explain things to them," Coulson answered. "I thought we could talk through what to tell them and how to explain."
"You won't just tell them I was betraying you for so long?" Grant looked into Coulson's eyes, his own filled with shame. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself, even if his reasons weren't necessarily bad. He regretted what he'd done.
Coulson stroked his cheek. "It's not as simple as that, boy. Not as simple as you just choosing to betray me. You were being hurt...abused...listening to the only person you thought cared about you."
"I was a stupid child. I should have realized he didn't care and was using me. My instincts were screaming at me that I could trust you and I should...should emulate you, not him. I just didn't trust myself enough to listen." Grant sniffled.
"You've listened now," Coulson murmured, gently stroking over the pulse point in his neck. "And it wasn't too late. You did the right thing, boy."
"Only cuz you caught me...took control...I wouldn't have been brave enough to do the right thing on my own," Grant whispered.
"But you've still done the right thing, even though you needed a bit of encouragement," Coulson said. "You were never beyond hope."
"I guess..." Grant wrinkled his nose. He couldn't help but feel all he'd done was let Coulson take control. If he were less submissive, he might have fought and the outcome would have been very different.
Coulson kissed his forehead. "You let me take hold of you and draw you to me, boy."
"I needed you to..." Grant blinked in surprise that Coulson would view that as a sign of Grant's good intentions. He had given himself to Coulson for entirely selfish reasons. The man was willing to take charge, take care of him, protect him...Grant needed him.
"I know," Coulson replied. "But you still chose to give yourself to me." He kissed his boy's cheek.
"Smartest thing I've done in forever..." Grant smiled crookedly and bit his lip. "I know if you tell me what to do, it won't be something wrong to do..."
"No. And I won't tell you to do anything that will hurt you. And if you question me, I won't get angry or punish you," Coulson promised.
"You'll only punish me if I disobey?" Grant sought confirmation.
"If you do something naughty," Coulson replied. "If you disobey and can't give me a good reason. But I'll only ever spank you. And it won't be anything worse than what you've experienced already."
Grant nodded. "It doesn't always feel like punishment...not when my body decides it likes it..." He blushed, not questioning what Coulson said so much as his own body turning on him.
"It isn't a problem," Coulson said. "And when I spanked you just now, your body didn't react like that."
Grant blinked. "I... I didn't notice...I was too busy feeling guilty and wanting to be right with you..."
"It's not a problem if you react in that way," Coulson reiterated. "But I suspect it won't happen every time."
Grant nodded. "I... it's embarrassing. I never thought about...before...and now..." he huffed.
"You're my boy," Coulson said seriously. "And however your body reacts, it isn't a problem. While I'm your Daddy, our relationship has a lot more to it than simply father and son. And I don't ever want you to feel ashamed of reactions you can't control."
"Yessir..." Grant nodded, then smiled bashfully. "Thank you...for understanding..."
Coulson kissed his head. "No matter what happens, I'm not going to regret this. I'm not going to let you go."
"I love you..." Grant's voice was grateful.
"I love you too. Very much so," Coulson said, gently squeezing his neck.
"What time do we need to meet the others?" Grant asked hesitantly, fidgeting as if he wanted to ask something.
"We've got some time," Coulson answered. "Is there something on your mind?"
"I'm just nervous..." Grant shook his head before he appeared to have second thoughts and blushed. "I know it's only been a few days, less than a week even, but I just. I feel really childish for this, but- I'm scared to go out...with other people...they won't be as understanding and...what if we get separated while you talk to Fury or something? If...if I had something I could focus on...remind me that you're coming back...?" He bit his lip and stared at the ground, afraid Coulson would want to know why and then he'd have to admit that he was afraid it would end up like when Garrett had first saved him; with him left in the wilderness alone for several months while he learned his new position in life. He knew Coulson was nothing like Garrett, but it was hard not to expect it to happen.
Coulson tightened his arms around his boy. "You mean like a physical sign or symbol of you belonging to me?" he asked, trying to figure out what Grant neeeded. What he could do to help his boy.
"Something I can focus on to help me remember and feel I'm yours..." Grant nodded bashfully. "If...if you don't have something I can carry, that's okay, I just..."
"What do you think of a ring?" Coulson asked. He actually had a couple he'd kept stored away because there were powerful memories attached to them, but Grant was infinitely more important to him.
Grant looked up at that, grateful that Coulson was willing to help him...even for something seemingly insignificant like Grant's neediness. "That would work, Daddy..." he admitted quietly. "I...I could look at it and remind myself that you aren't just leaving me..."
"I wouldn't ever just 'leave' you," Coulson promised. "But I understand wanting to have the visible proof. I have a couple that are special enough I think for you to wear."
Grant blinked at that. "I don't want to take something that's really important to you..." he protested faintly. What happened if, somehow, he lost it? He wouldn't be taking it off, to be certain, but what if he was forced to? He wouldn't want something important to Coulson lost because he was too afraid to leave the man's side without some tangible physical sign he belonged to him.
"They aren't anything like as important to me as you are," Coulson replied. "And I like the idea of you wearing the ring as a reminder...as a sign to both of us that you belong to me. No matter what."
Grant smiled at that. "I like it too..." he said quietly. "...And when I look at it, it will remind me I belong to you. It will help a lot, Daddy..." He impulsively hugged Coulson.
Coulson hugged Grant tightly and kissed his head. "You're mine, boy," he said, voice filled with affection.
"Always!" Grant added in, almost nervously, but snuggled close. It was a novelty...Coulson being so physically affectionate. Grant liked it and had quickly adjusted to it, finding himself gravitating toward the older man, immediately seeking it out.
Coulson smiled, tightening his embrace. "As soon as you're ready, I'll show you the ring I have in mind."
"I'm ready..." Grant hugged more tightly for a moment before carefully stepping back, making certain not to move so far back that Coulson couldn't keep a hand on him. He felt better when Coulson was touching him. It helped settle him.
Coulson stood, wrapping his arm around Grant's waist, and guided his boy into the bedroom. Heading over to the bedside table, he opened the drawer and took out the false bottom, revealing two rings.
Grant blinked and gave Coulson a surprised look. "You trust me with your secret hiding spot?" He sounded as surprised as he looked.
"Of course I do. I trust you. You're my boy." Coulson kissed his head. "I love you."
Grant blinked back tears and couldn't help but throw his arms around Coulson tightly, burying his face against the older man's shoulder. "I'll make sure you have no reason to distrust me..." he promised.
Coulson hugged his boy tightly. "I know," he whispered. "You're my good boy." He gently stroked Grant's hair and back.
Grant shivered in Coulson's arms, both at the words and at the gentle stroking. "I want to be...I want to be your good boy..." he whispered, tightening his own grip.
"You are," Coulson promised, tightening his hold on his boy. "You are my good boy. I love you."
"I love you too..." Grant murmured, just pressing close. Coulson had him and would continue to have him; and shortly, he'd have a ring that would remind him of that fact every time he looked at his hand.
Coulson kept a tight hold of his boy, even as he reached for one of the rings. Kissing Grant's head, he murmured, "Give me your hand."
Grant lifted his hand, making sure Coulson could take hold of it.
Coulson gently held his boy's hand, sliding the ring carefully on.
Grant visibly relaxed as he felt the ring surrounding his finger. His father had put it on his index finger- it couldn't be mistaken for a wedding ring- but more importantly, it signified who he belonged to. Who led and directed him. Who was in charge. "...Yours..." he whispered, a relieved and satisfied tone to the word.
"Mine," Coulson agreed. "In every way possible. In every way that counts." He stroked Grant's pulse point, gently squeezed his neck, kissed his forehead.
Grant smiled at Coulson, slanting his head so that his neck was more exposed and just held still for the older man. When it was time to go, he knew he'd be told.
Coulson held him for a bit longer and then said softly, "It's time to go, boy."
"Okay, daddy..." Grant sighed softly, giving the older man a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling back. "...Will we be going to the bus, or will we be meeting up with Director Fury?" he asked hesitantly.
"We're going to go to the bus." Coulson reached out and took hold of Grant's hand, so he could lead his boy out of the house.
Grant smiled as he was led. If being pulled along by his hand made him feel like a child, it was all good. He belonged to Coulson, so he didn't mind feeling young and vulnerable for him. "Do the others know?" he asked hesitantly, wondering how much would need to be explained. While he'd admitted to Coulson that he'd rather everyone know so that he didn't have to hide things, having them know and explaining it to them were two different things.
"They know I've adopted you," Coulson replied. "There'll be rumours about you and Garrett, but I haven't told anything and neither has Fury. As for our relationship...you act however you need to and I'll respond."
"There were always rumors about me and Garrett..." Grant muttered. "...I was always surprised you'd not heard any of them when I first came to you. Some of them were rather...detailed." He blushed.
"I heard them, but I didn't pay attention to them," Coulson answered. "I wanted to get to know you, not assume anything because of rumours."
"Thank you for that..." Grant glanced up into Coulson's face. "It means a lot that you wanted to know me and not what people said about me... I just wish I'd been honest with you from the beginning."
Coulson stroked his cheek. "You're being honest with me now," he answered gently. "You're doing everything right. Don't worry about today. I won't change my mind about you. I won't let you go. And I'm sure you'll find you have more friends than you think."
"Okay, daddy...I'll try not to worry..." Grant whispered, then smiled again. He got into the car and settled back so Coulson could take them where they needed to be.
As he began to drive, Coulson reached across and took his boy's hand, squeezing it gently.
Grant gripped Coulson's hand tightly all the way to the bus. Once the car had been driven up into the plane's Bay Area, he waited for Coulson to tell him to get out of the car before he even thought of moving.
Coulson stroked over Grant's hand, finger lightly brushing over the ring, before giving his boy a reassuring smile. "It's time to get out of the car."
Grant smiled and got out, before glancing up to where the rest of the team were looking down at them. He gave a sheepish wave up at them.
Coulson smiled as he caught the other team members' eyes. While he didn't hold Grant's hand again, he did walk close enough for his side to brush against his boy's as they walked up to join them.
"Welcome back...we've got a visitor that needs our help," May said. "In interrogation."
Coulson nodded and started walking in that direction. "What can you tell me about them?" he asked.
Fitz sidled up to Grant. "Hey, Ward...Simmons and I put some moderations into the Night-Night Guns. Do you want to come and test one out?"
"Yeah...if Coulson doesn't need me in interrogation..." He glanced toward his father curiously.
Coulson smiled at his boy. "I'll let you know if I need you." He squeezed Grant's shoulder gently.
Grant nodded. "Okay, Fitz...show me what you've done..." He smiled at the other man.
"Great!" Almost like an excitable child, Fitz headed to the labs.
Grant chuckled softly and followed.
Sif glanced over as Coulson entered into the room. "Your help is needed, Son of Coul..." she began, as soon as the door shut. She then proceeded to explain about Lorelei.
Coulson frowned, immediately concerned about what this could mean. He listened to the explanation and asked questions where it was necessary.
Sif explained everything, giving the warnings as well as what she thought would be the best way to handle the situation. And then the call was coming in about what had gone down at the biker bar and the need to investigate to try and predict the siren's next move became clear.
Coulson didn't waste any time in organising his team into movement, checking to make sure Grant was doing okay as a completely natural action.
They'd gone to the biker bar as planned, only to discover Lorelei was still there. Grant had been ordered- all of the men had really- to not put himself within range of her touch, let alone her voice, so what had made him think that going around back by himself to block her escape was a good idea, he couldn't answer. Needless to say, he'd fallen under her spell and by the time it was all said and done, she'd taken over the bus, had taken control of any man on board and was only stopped because the women had fooled her into believing Sif had been killed. That enabled Sif to place the necklace voiding her powers around her neck.
Grant hadn't meant to be on his own and vulnerable to her and no one seemed to blame him for what had occurred, even though it was her thrall over him that had allowed her to take over the bus for the time she'd had it. He blamed himself, though; and even if no one else saw it, he could tell Coulson was disappointed in his actions. Coulson had specifically taken him aside and told him to stick close to May, because the older man knew of Grant's abilities and didn't want her to have a chance to get hold of him. Grant hadn't done that and a whole huge mess occurred because of it.
Coulson was finding it hard to let go of his fear from his boy being taken and used. It was hard to allow himself to debrief, when all he wanted was to hold onto Grant and reassure himself he was all right. But even though he wasn't hiding their relationship, he wanted to let his boy set the tone for when they were around other people.
Grant had been matter-of-fact in his report. When May had given her report, he'd been glad they had already ended their dalliance, because apparently, Lorelei had got him to confess his 'love and loyalty' belonged to someone else and had gleefully informed May as such. He suspected most of them believed he was in love with Skye (after how worried he'd been for her). He didn't comment, though. He doubted any of them would understand that it was actually Coulson and the love wasn't romantic. He reported going to Vegas, but he left out as much detail as possible. It wasn't like he hadn't done similar things in his ops before. He just normally had more choice and control in the matter. He couldn't hide the wince when he moved the wrong way, though.
"Were you wounded?" Jemma asked worriedly.
Grant shook his head. "No. Just a few scratches. They're pulling."
"I want to look at those," Coulson said, stepping round to his boy. He was fairly certain that Grant wouldn't say if they were serious enough to need treatment; and even if he wasn't a doctor, he'd be able to tell if the scratches were serious enough to need medical attention.
"Yeah...Okay." Grant, not thinking about what had caused the scratches, or that it would be easy to tell what had caused them, tugged his shirt off and turned so Coulson could see. Of course, everyone else could as well and it wasn't difficult to put two and two together and get four.
"Is it too late to beat that bitch?" Jemma growled and immediately went to get antibiotic cream and bandages.
Grant blinked in confusion and gave Coulson a worried look. "What...?"
Coulson stepped over and gently squeezed his boy's shoulder. They'd talked about how Grant had been forced to sleep with targets...and it made him feel physically sick that his boy had had to go through that again. While he tried hard not to show how angry Lorelei had made him, he couldn't help but grip Grant a bit tighter; not enough to hurt, but almost as dominating as if they were alone. "As soon as we're done here, I'm taking you home," he stated.
Grant blinked again but nodded. "Yes, sir..." His voice was the appropriate level of respect and deference to not draw undue attention, but the look on his face and his stance was more than a bit submissive. He caught May giving him a considering look before looking at Coulson with a raised eyebrow. He didn't have time to dwell on it, though.
Jemma had returned with the cream, bandages and antiseptic cloths. Taking one look at Coulson, she handed the items over without question.
Coulson nodded in thanks and began to carefully treat the scratches. He didn't respond to May's look, his entire focus on his boy and making sure Grant's wounds were treated...at least the physical ones.
Fitz cleared his throat, glancing a bit sheepishly at the others. "Should we leave them alone?" he muttered...at least in theory. His question was probably still heard by Coulson and Grant.
Grant shot Fitz a confused look. "I can still talk...if there is anything else you need me to report on..." He didn't understand why everyone was acting awkward. It wasn't like he hadn't talked to people with his shirt off before...or had Jemma treat wounds in front of people before.
"Everything's been covered already," Coulson said. He finished treating the scratches and then, remembering that Grant had told him he was okay with being dominated in front of the others, gently moved his hand to his boy's neck and lightly squeezed it. "What happened today wasn't okay," he said.
Grant's entire demeanor changed the minute Coulson gripped his neck, his face and tone apologetic. "I know, sir...you said not to get close enough for her voice to get to me or for her to touch, but I didn't think she'd be able to when I went in the back. It was stupid...I should have realized she'd try and escape that way, but I truly didn't intend to disobey your orders!" He swallowed hard. He thought Coulson was talking about his own behavior, not what had been done to him.
"That's not what I'm referring to." Coulson kept his hand in place, focusing entirely on his boy...even though the other team members were there. "I'm referring to what happened between you two. What she forced you to do. That wasn't okay."
Grant just stared at Coulson in confusion. "...Why...?" he finally asked, in a completely confused tone. "It wasn't any different than some of my ops that Garrett sent me on. And I wasn't put in hospital, so..."
Jemma's gasp at Grant thinking it was all good because he didn't end in hospital was loud. "You...Garrett sent you on missions where you ended up hospitalized from...from...?" She sounded horrified.
"From sex." Grant still sounded confused but was willing to answer. "...Some targets liked to be rougher than others and I was very good at staying in character, so..." He looked back at Coulson, worried that the older man would be upset with him at the explanation.
Coulson already had a pretty good idea of what Grant had gone through under Garrett's control and he let his fingers gently stroke over his boy's pulse point, keeping his touch light. "It shouldn't have happened because you weren't in any position to consent."
"Yeah. I mean, you were forced into it," Fitz said. "Even if you might have consented, you weren't given that option. And even if you've done it before, it doesn't make it right." The young scientist's voice and face were earnestly worried.
"If it had been me, or Jemma, or Skye ..." May began, only to be interrupted by Grant.
"If anyone ever made you do something like that when you couldn't consent fully..." he growled, hands clenching angrily at the thought.
"I'm glad you feel that way..." Jemma nodded. "So, you can understand why we'd be concerned for you!"
Grant blinked and glanced around at the others. His gaze rested on a Fitz for a moment, taking in the younger man's worry- for him- then looked toward Coulson, letting himself press into the reassuring grip at his neck. "So... you aren't mad at me for that?"
Coulson gently squeezed his boy's neck, but before he could say anything, Skye was quick to say, "Of course he's not. No one would be mad at you for that. Mad at her, sure."
"But...it was my fault she got in the bus...almost hurt all of you..." He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that they were worried about him. Garrett would have blamed him and punished him for failure; if he wasn't congratulating him on getting laid by someone so good looking. Garrett could be a bit crude.
"No one could have stopped her," Coulson said. "It wasn't your fault." He still had one hand on Grant's neck; the other gently stroked his boy's hand, touching the ring to draw his boy's attention to it and their bond.
"And nothing did happen," Fitz said. "At least...nothing to us." He was still watching Grant worriedly.
Grant relaxed slightly as the fact they weren't angry at him sunk in. He glanced at the ring and smiled, turning his hand over and holding onto Coulson's hand briefly before realizing what he'd done and giving his father a sheepish look, loosening his grip enough that Coulson could withdraw his hand if he wanted.
Looking back at Fitz, he smiled. "I'll be okay. The scratches will be gone in a few days. The rest...well..." He shrugged. He didn't think it would go over very well if he compared what Lorelei had done to how Garrett sometimes treated him. Sure, he chose to follow Garrett, but there were plenty of times where the consent was more than questionable.
Coulson didn't pull his hand away, instead gripping Grant's hand tightly, gently stroking over the top with his fingers. "It won't be something you ever have to go through again." He'd made that promise privately to his boy; now he reiterated it in public.
Grant nodded at the promise, a hesitant smile crossing his face. "So... everyone really is alright?" he asked carefully.
"No one got hurt...apart from you," Skye said, eyeing Grant with just as much worry as the rest of them.
Coulson simply squeezed Grant's hand tighter. He was worried; but more about what experiencing this had done to his boy. He wanted to get them home so he could devote all of his attention to Grant.
"I'll be okay. If I'd listened to orders, I wouldn't have been hurt. So..." Grant shrugged. It was clear he still felt like it was his own fault anything had happened to him.
May shook her head. "Phil. Go talk with him. The 'kids' and I will make sure all loose ends are tied up and get the bus in the air. If that is alright with you, of course."
Coulson nodded. "Thank you." He gently squeezed Grant's neck and, still holding onto his boy's hand, he led Grant out of the room.
Grant bit his lip and looked at the ground, going along with Coulson without even a hint of struggle. He'd told Coulson he didn't mind if the team saw him dominated by the older man. They'd got hints of it now and none of them seemed upset or worried; not about how he was reacting to Coulson, anyway. "I didn't mean to worry them all. Fitz looked really upset..." he said hesitantly.
Coulson gently squeezed his hand. "They...we...worry about you because we care about you. And because of that, it's hard to hear about how difficult things were for you in the past."
"It was my own choices that got me into those positions, though...I deserved it..." Grant wrinkled his nose, staring at his feet.
Coulson led Grant to his office, which was one of the more private places, and sat down, gently pulling his boy onto his lap. "You didn't deserve it, boy. It wasn't your fault."
"I guess I'll have to take your word for it, Daddy...it certainly feels like my own fault. Like I deserve it..." Grant said quietly, immediately snuggling close to the older man. He shifted slightly. He hadn't really sat down since Lorelei's capture; not in front of anyone, anyway.
Coulson kissed his boy's head, hugging Grant close to him. "You don't deserve it, boy. You're cared about a great deal. I love you so much...but the rest of the team worry and care about you too."
"I thought you'd be mad at me...she only got me cuz I went around back by myself. And once she had me, she used me to get to everyone else..." Grant sighed.
"You shouldn't have gone round the back, but I'm not mad at you," Coulson said. "I was so very worried when she had you. I was almost going out of my mind, scared of what might happen to you."
"I'm sorry..." Grant winced. "I didn't want you to worry."
"You're my boy," Coulson said. "I'm going to worry about you. I love you."
"I love you too, daddy." Grant's voice was soft. "I'm still getting used to it..."
"I know." Coulson kissed his head. "But I'll tell you and show you as much as you need me to."
Grant hugged Coulson and snuggled as close as possible. "Does this mean I'm not in trouble?"
"You are in trouble for not being where you were supposed to," Coulson said. "But not for what was done to you."
"Okay...I understand, Daddy." Grant sighed and continued to snuggle. "I'm glad she isn't controlling me anymore. Felt wrong. Really wrong."
"I'm glad I have you back with me." Coulson kissed his head. "I was worried I'd lost you."
"I'm glad I'm with you too. Only one it feels right to have control me...everything is fuzzy from when she was making me follow, but I know I was scared of not get back to you..." Grant admitted.
"I've got you back now." Coulson's arms tightened around his boy as he struggled to let go of the fear of Grant being lost to him. "I love you...so much. I want to make sure you never get hurt again."
"I'm sorry I did something that caused you to be afraid for me..." Grant whispered. "I didn't mean for it to happen."
"My being afraid for you wasn't your fault, boy," Coulson said, kissing his head. "It's because I love you that I was afraid."
"I'm still sorry..." Grant mumbled, before hugging Coulson.
Coulson kissed Grant's head and cuddled him that much tighter. "I just need you, boy. So very much," he whispered.
"I need you just as much..." Grant snuggled. "...Maybe more..."
"I love you," Coulson whispered, gently stroking his boy's hair and down over his back. "And I hope that seeing how everyone's reacted today has convinced you that you're cared about by them as well."
"I still have a hard time believing it, even seeing it with my own eyes..." Grant sounded surprised.
"I know you're not used to it, but you have the chance now to get used to it...to being cared about. Wanted. Loved," Coulson said gently.
Grant nodded. "I care about them too...maybe even love them...do you think they know?"
"I'm fairly certain they know you care about them," Coulson replied, kissing his head.
Grant nodded, tightening his hug. "When we're done debriefing...do we have another job? Or can we go home for a bit..."
"We can go home," Coulson promised, gently squeezing his boy's neck.
"Good..." Grant said in relief. "I don't mind the others knowing how things are with us...but I guess I need a place where they can't overhear as easy. Dunno why..."
"I told you I'd keep things as private as possible." Coulson stroked his hair. "You don't need to worry I'll take you in hand where they can hear."
Grant nodded. "I know. That's why I told you..." He smiled crookedly.
Coulson tightened his arms around his boy, rubbing his hand under Grant's shirt so he could get to bare skin.
"Love you, Daddy..." Grant said quietly.
"I love you, boy," Coulson whispered, kissing his head and continuing to gently stroke and rub, shifting Grant's shirt out of the way to make the contact easier.
Grant relaxed, shifting so he was pressed more closely to Coulson. "I'm yours..." he whispered.
"Mine," Coulson replied. "And you will always be mine. I promise."
"I believe you..." Grant smiled.
Coulson continued to gently stroke and rub, lightly squeezing Grant's neck. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.
"Guilty..." Grant sighed. "I know she was controlling me, but still...a lot of innocent people were hurt because of me. My team...my family... was hurt."
"Everyone is safe now, though," Coulson said gently. "And we'll handle that disobedience, but I've already forgiven you."
Grant nodded. "I know you have...you will..." He swallowed. "Still feel guilty, Daddy. And I'm afraid you'll be mad at me when you see..." He shifted, sounding almost like a child at the admission.
"When I see...what?" Coulson prompted, tightening his embrace. "I won't be mad at you, boy."
"The scratches she left..." Grant couldn't look Coulson in the eye and flushed from shame. "They just weren't on my back. I just didn't want to leave the group before debriefing was over and..." He bit his lip.
"Let me see," Coulson continued to prompt, stroking his boy's pulse point. He had a first aid kit in his office and knew he could treat Grant.
Still flushing, ashamed he'd hidden something from his Daddy, Grant nodded. Toeing off his shoes, he then loosened his jeans, carefully sliding them and his underwear down to his knees before letting them fall the rest of the way to his ankles and stepping out of them.
Lorelei had been determined to mark him as hers, especially after he'd admitted who he truly belonged to. He considered himself lucky she hadn't wanted to scar him or use a more permanent method of marking.
Coulson didn't waste any time in retrieving the first aid kit, hiding his worry and concern as he saw the marks. And, yes, he was angry; but at Lorelei, not at Grant. He reached out and stroked his boy's cheek. "If you lay across my knee, I can probably treat those better." He kept his voice soft and gentle, but his touch was nothing but possessive.
Grant nodded, trusting Coulson knew what he was doing. The scratches went all the way down his legs, nearly to his ankles, and covered front and back. She'd wanted him to feel her dominance every time he moved, whichever way he moved. It hadn't been enough to just take over his will. He cringed as he thought of it. He felt unclean.
Coulson kissed his forehead. "You're mine. My boy," he whispered, the words a promise, before he carefully helped Grant to lay across his lap, making it easier to start treating the scratches.
"Yours...not hers..." Grant's voice caught and he slumped slightly, reaching down and holding onto Coulson's leg. He felt relief that Coulson didn't blame him for what Lorelei had made him do. He still felt guilty for putting himself in a position where she could manipulate him, though.
Coulson began to treat the scratches as carefully and gently as possible, repeating his possessive squeezing and touching of Grant's neck. "I love you. I won't let you go," he reiterated.
"I'm counting on that, Daddy..." Grant whispered, relaxing further at the signs that Coulson still wanted him, the possessiveness easing what little worry he had.
"I love you." Coulson gently squeezed his neck. "I want you. You're my boy. It doesn't matter what happens. I won't be angry or punish you for something that's out of your control." He continued to gently treat the scratches and then gently turned Grant over so he could treat the scratches on his front.
"Even though it was my actions that put me in the position to be used like that?" Grant sniffed, surprised to find tears running down his face.
"You disobeyed my orders, boy, and we will deal with that. But you already know how I'll punish you and it won't be for what she forced you to do." Coulson kept his fingers gently stroking Grant's pulse point, even as he continued to treat the scratches, his touch loving, gentle, affectionate.
"Yes, Daddy..." Grant smiled hesitantly. He didn't particularly want to be punished, but it felt good knowing he was only being punished for what he'd chosen to do wrong himself instead of what he'd been made to do.
Coulson gently stroked his cheeks and down over his neck, even as he finished the treatment. "I'm thankful you're home." He gently touched Grant's hand with the ring, reminding himself of their relationship and what he'd gained.
"I'm just thankful you have me," Grant said quietly. "She didn't leave too many of her thralls alive once she finished with them..."
"I know." Coulson wrapped his arms tightly around his boy. "I was so frightened I was going to lose you, after seeing that."
"I love you, Daddy. I just want to go home... or to our room, if we're staying on the bus," Grant admitted, never thinking they'd be in a different room if they stayed somewhere other than home.
Coulson kissed his head. "Get dressed. We'll finish debriefing and then I'll take you home." He stroked his boy's pulse point and gently squeezed his neck.
"Okay, sir." Grant pressed against Coulson's hands for a few seconds and then stepped away to quickly obey. It didn't take long before he was fully dressed again.
Coulson stood and wrapped his arm around Grant's waist so he could guide his boy out of the office and back to the others.
May glanced up. "Sif is ready to return to Asgard with Lorelei, if Grant has given all the information he learned."
Grant nodded. "I've told everything I can remember."
"Are you going to be staying on the bus, sir?" Fitz asked.
Coulson shook his head. "I'm taking Grant home."
"Oh...okay." Fitz turned to Grant. "Want to take one of those new Night-night guns with you? You can let me and Simmons know if there are any improvements..."
"I can," Grant said slowly, his eyebrow going up as he smiled. "But I'm not sure exactly how or where I'm meant to test it out...unless you're wanting me to zap Coulson?" he teased.
Fitz blinked, surprised, and then grinned. "No, you'd better not do that. But just in case you run into anything between now and when you come back..."
"I'll do that..." Grant agreed with a grin.
"If there's nothing else we need to cover, I'm going to take my boy home," Coulson said, glancing around at the others.
May smirked. "You do that, Phil. I'll make sure the rest of the kids are taken care of..."
Coulson wrapped his arm around Grant's shoulders, smiling at his son, and led him out of the room, heading to where he'd parked Lola.
Grant went quickly, automatically getting into the passenger seat.
Coulson buckled up and reached across to grasp his boy's hand as he began driving. "I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy..." Grant grasped onto Coulson's hand tightly.
Coulson held his boy's hand all the way home and when he parked outside the house, he got out of the car and then moved round to help Grant out of the car.
Grant followed his father into the house quietly. He waited for directions, not willing to do anything without being told first.
Coulson took his boy's hand and led him into the kitchen. "I'm going to hazard a guess she didn't feed you."
"Your guesses are better than some people's facts..." Grant answered, as he stood out of the way. "Do you want some help?"
"No. I just want to do this for you," Coulson said softly, as he began to prepare the food. After a moment's consideration, he added, "But I want you to undress."
Grant blinked, then swallowed. "Okay, Daddy...should I go to the bedroom, or do you want me to stay here?" he asked quietly.
"Not for a spanking, boy." Coulson stepped forward to pull him into a tight embrace, kissing his head. Squeezing his neck possessively. "Not until you're healed. I want to make it very clear that you're mine. You don't belong to anyone else. I need to touch you. Hold you. Without anything to hide you from me." He spoke with frank honesty, tightening his hold.
Grant nodded and snuggled close. "I need that too, Daddy. So... I should undress in here... so I'm with you all the time?" He bit his lip, hoping he understood right.
Coulson kissed his head. "Exactly. So you're not out of my sight." He tightened his arms around Grant, trying to shake the memory of having come so close to losing his boy.
Grant snuggled tight to Coulson before stepping back and beginning to undress. There was no modesty or shame and soon, he was carefully folding his clothes and placing them neatly on a chair, his shoes under the chair. "What should I do now, sir?" He was quiet and respectful, deferential.
While Grant finished undressing, Coulson plated up the food for his boy and put the plate on the table. He gently guided Grant over and sat his boy on his lap, wrapping an arm possessively around his waist, so he could feed him.
Grant relaxed and let Coulson feed him.
Coulson kissed the back of his boy's head as he continued to feed him. "I've got you. My boy," he whispered. "I love you. You're mine. No one else has any claim or right to you."
Grant relaxed even further at the words. He didn't know why, but being with Coulson, hearing how important he was to the other man, hearing and feeling how possessive the older man was of him, it made him feel safe and secure in a way he never had before Coulson stepped in. As dominant and willing to rule him as Garrett had been, he'd never got the feeling that John actually cared about him or if he was around.
It made his disobedience seem that much worse to him and Grant couldn't help but start crying quietly. He tried not to- he didn't want to disappoint Coulson further with his weakness- but he couldn't stop the tears completely. And he didn't try and hide them, even as he tried to stop crying. He belonged to Coulson. Anything and everything he did belonged to the older man. He wouldn't hide from him, even if he did feel shameful.
Coulson could hear and see the tears and his worry grew as he tightened his arms around his boy. "You're safe," he whispered, gently stroking over Grant's pulse point and squeezing his neck. "I've got you."
"I know." Grant took a shaky breath and swallowed. "I know I'm safe...because you've got me..." He held tighter to Coulson. "I've never felt safer or as cared about or as wanted as I do with you... which makes my disobeying you even worse!" He wiped at his eyes and gave Coulson a sad smile. "I wouldn't feel as guilty if I didn't know how much you care and want me... how everything is so much better now that you have me. I should have listened..."
Coulson pulled his boy in tighter. "I do want you," he whispered, kissing Grant's cheek. "But although disobeying me was naughty, we'll deal with that and move past it. I'll spank you and it'll be over with. You won't need to feel guilty anymore."
"I... I know, Daddy..." Grant whispered, just holding tight and letting his head fall onto Coulson's shoulder. "I can't help but feel guilty, though. After everything you've done for me...after everything you've forgiven me...I messed up. I hate that I messed up. Especially in such a way that...I might not have been able to get back to you..." He shook slightly, the day's events finally catching up to him. He was alone with his protector...his father...and he didn't have to pretend anymore. Once he started shaking, he couldn't stop.
Coulson wrapped his arms tighter around his boy. "But you did come back to me," he whispered. "I've got you. I love you. So very much. You made a mistake, but it didn't take you from me. I don't have to be scared for you anymore..."
"I'm sorry, Daddy..." Grant whispered and nuzzled against his father. "...I'm sorry I was so naughty...sorry I scared you so badly...sorry for everything..."
"I've forgiven you." Coulson kissed his head. "I love you. I won't let you go. You're my boy. Being scared for you is part of that."
"You forgive me? You aren't mad at me?" Grant asked hopefully, not voicing his fear that his mistake would be brought up at a later date to put him in his place, as Garrett tended to do with his 'mistakes'.
"I forgive you." Coulson pressed another kiss to his head. "I was never mad at you, boy...only worried and scared that I'd lose you. But seeing those scratches make me angry...with her. You're mine. And no one is allowed to mark you in that way."
Grant smiled crookedly. "I'm yours...only one 'lowed to mark me is you..." Grant agreed, his tone full of his trust that Coulson would never mark him in a way that was harmful.
"And I would never mark you...hurt you," Coulson whispered, tightening his embrace, gently stroking Grant's pulse point in his neck. He left unvoiced that he would never need to; that they both knew who Grant belonged to.
Grant immediately began to calm at the possessive stroking of his neck. The shaking ebbed until he was calm and pliant in Coulson's grip. "You take care of me..." he whispered, snuggling more.
"Always," Coulson promised. "I will always take care of you. Take care of my boy. I won't ever hurt you or let anyone else hurt you." He gently squeezed Grant's neck.
Grant relaxed even further. "Feels good..." he admitted quietly, "...That you have me. That I'm yours...feels good."
"I'm glad," Coulson whispered, continuing the possessive affection and tightening his arm around his boy. "I'm not going to let you go."
"I never want you to let me go..." Grant admitted. He glanced down at all the scratches that had been left behind and grimaced. "Thank you for the ring..." he whispered. "...I... I think I might have fallen even further under her spell if I didn't have that to help ground me. I kept looking at it and it let me remember that I wasn't really hers, even if I couldn't stop myself from doing what she said."
"I'm glad it helped you." Coulson gently stroked his boy's hand. "You're so important to me...I'm glad I had that so you could have a visible reminder."
Grant nuzzled close again. "Do you...do you think you could maybe, I dunno... tie me to you even closer somehow? Give me something that I can see or feel that...that not only reminds me I'm yours, but leaves no doubt that you're in charge and I obey you? Reminds me not to be naughty...even when I'm on missions and think I'm doing the best thing?" he whispered and blushed. Maybe if he had something to remind him of that constantly, if he ever disobeyed in the future, it would be for a very, very good reason. He hadn't really had a good reason this time.
Coulson gently stroked his boy's hair as he asked softly, "Do you have a specific thing in mind?" He didn't want to do anything that would hurt or damage Grant.
"I'm not sure. I mean..." Grant smiled crookedly, "I know...whenever you're holding my neck...I feel most like I'm yours. Most like I'm able to obey like I should. But..." He blushed. "...For a necklace to have the same effect, it'd have to be a choker. Those are a bit obvious." He laughed faintly. "...And it'd only look normal in approximately two situations if I was undercover. It isn't like I have to have something to remind me to obey. I obeyed Garrett without problem and I... as much as I felt I owed him, I realize now I only followed his orders because I was afraid of him. Afraid of what would happen to me without him. I'm not afraid of you. I want to listen to and obey you. So it shouldn't be difficult. I don't know why I disobeyed at all, really..." He sounded confused.
Coulson let his hand settle against Grant's neck, gently stroking the pulse point. "I know collars are often used as signs of ownership. If you wore high-necked shirts, it would work to shield the collar from view."
Grant bit his lip and looked up at that. "It wouldn't bother you? Because I... I like that idea. That...that there is a physical sign, a more obvious sign, that I belong to you..."
"It wouldn't bother me at all," Coulson promised. "And I like the idea of a physical sign too." He kissed his boy's head. "I need to keep reassuring myself I still have you."
Grant closed his eyes and pressed closer to Coulson. "You still have me..." he whispered. "...You'll always have me, if I have any choice in it..." He smiled crookedly and kissed Coulson on the cheek before snuggling close again.
"I won't ever be letting go of you, boy," Coulson promised. "No matter what happens...I won't lose you."
"Good...I don't want to ever be lost from you, Daddy...never ever...please don't lose me..." Grant couldn't help the almost childish plea.
"Never," Coulson promised. "I won't let you go. You're mine." He tightened his arms around his boy.
"What...what do we have left to do?" Grant finally asked, leaning on his Daddy and fighting a yawn.
"If you're finished eating, I'll put you to bed," Coulson said, stroking the pulse point in his neck.
"I'm done, Daddy... did you eat enough?" Grant asked drowsily, but still awake enough to worry about the older man.
"Plenty." Coulson kissed his boy's head and then helped him to stand, leading his boy into the bedroom so he could tuck Grant into bed.
Grant followed quietly behind, wanting to be as obedient as it was possible to be. He wouldn't have gone to bed on his own, even if he was yawning, but because Coulson was putting him to bed, he was going with no questions asked. In fact, he was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open, just knowing he'd soon be tucked into a soft, warm bed.
Coulson helped his boy into bed, drawing the blankets up to cover Grant and settling on the bed next to him, stroking his hair and down over his cheeks to his neck.
"I wish..." Grant sighed. "...I really wish I'd come clean to you a lot sooner. Everything's so much better now that you've got me..." he whispered. He smiled crookedly again, blinking as sleep began to overcome him.
Coulson leaned over and kissed his head. "I've got you now, boy," he whispered. "I've got you and I won't ever let you go. Even if it took a little while, you're mine now."
Grant relaxed the rest of the way and closed his eyes. "...Thank you, Daddy..." he mumbled. "...Love you..." and then he fell asleep.
"I love you," Coulson whispered, stroking his boy's hair, and just sitting with him while he fell asleep.
Two days after the incident with Lorelei, Coulson picked up the mail as it arrived, noticing a package that he'd ordered had arrived. He walked into the kitchen with it and held it out to his boy with a smile. "This is for you."
Grant blinked owlishly at the package. "You bought me something?" He blinked in surprise and hesitantly took the package, beginning to grin as he saw the smile on Coulson's face. If it had been Garrett handing him the package, he would have been more suspicious. Garrett liked to couch his 'lessons' in seemingly innocuous ways that would catch someone by surprise and usually ended up being painful for several days after. Coulson had proven himself to be more concerned with Grant's well-being, though, so he didn't think the package was a trap. He just wasn't used to being given gifts for no apparent reason.
"Do you remember the conversation we had after I brought you home the other day?" Coulson asked. "About you having another sign of belonging to me?" He nodded to the package. "Open it, boy." The command carried a whole wealth of warmth and affection.
Grant's eyes widened as he recalled the conversation and he couldn't help but tear into the package like a five-year-old with a birthday gift. When he pulled out the supple strap of leather, he gave Coulson a small grin, almost bashful. "It's perfect..." he said softly. It was plain and thin, the lining soft and the leather supple; and it was capable of being easily hidden under high-necked shirts. Biting his lip, he quickly handed it to Coulson. "...Would you?" he asked hesitantly. It didn't feel right putting it on himself. Not for the first time, anyway.
"Of course." Coulson reached out and took the collar, carefully placing it around his boy's neck; making sure it wasn't too tight but wouldn't risk falling off. He let his fingers brush over Grant's skin, each touch reiterating that Grant was his. "Mine," he whispered, echoing his thoughts.
Grant's bashful smile grew into a full-fledged grin. "Yours!" he agreed happily, pressing his neck toward's Coulson's hand. "...Feels good..." he added, in a softer voice, letting Coulson know he had adjusted it well; and Grant was happy with the results. "...I belong to you..."
Coulson drew his boy into a tight embrace, kissing his head. "Let me know if it starts getting uncomfortable and I'll adjust it for you," he whispered. As much as he wanted to see Grant wearing something that symbolised their relationship, the very last thing he wanted to do was risk hurting his boy.
"Okay, daddy..." Grant promised, leaning into the embrace. He'd already been in a fairly good mood, but having this physical evidence of who he belonged to? He felt himself completely relaxing in a way that let him know he'd still been nervous about Coulson's intentions, even if he hadn't been aware of it. Between the adoption, the ring and now the collar, he felt like he fully belonged and there was no way he'd ever be going anywhere without Coulson's say so; no one would be able to take him away. Maybe it was naive to feel that way- Coulson couldn't control everything, after all- but that's how he felt. "...Completely yours..." he whispered again, his voice happy and accepting.
Coulson kissed his head and tightened his embrace. "Mine. And no one will take you away from me," he promised. "I love you...so very much. You are the most important person in my life."
Grant just snuggled as close as humanly possible. "You're most important to me too..." he admitted softly.
Coulson cuddled his boy tightly, kissing Grant's head again. "When you're ready...after we've eaten breakfast...I'll check on those scratches and make sure they look okay," he said softly.
Grant nuzzled against Coulson's chest. "Okay, Daddy..." He carefully pulled back and smiled again. "I thought I'd make waffles. Is that alright with you?"
"That's absolutely fine with me." Coulson reached out and stroked his boy's cheek. "I love you."
Grant slanted his head so his cheek pressed into Coulson's hand. "I love you too..." he said softly, before grinning again and heading into the kitchen to make their breakfast. It didn't take long and soon, he'd plated up their meal and placed it on the table before standing slightly to the side so that Coulson could direct him to where he wanted him for that morning.
Even if Lorelei was no longer a factor, Coulson couldn't let go of the fear of losing his boy. He gently guided Grant to sit on his lap, so he could hug and hold onto him.
Grant settled into place, relaxing into his father's arms. He waited for his father to begin feeding him because whenever he was sat on Coulson's lap during a meal, Coulson always wanted to feed him. It was becoming habit now to just wait for direction and to obey when his father gave him something to eat.
Settling his boy in place, Coulson began to feed Grant, making sure he ate as well, keeping his arm wrapped possessively around Grant's stomach.
Grant was completely at ease with the possessive hold Coulson had on him; and with the fact his hand was on his belly. They had eaten like this for the last several days and Grant was no longer afraid of Coulson finding him pathetic for needing the constant physical attention. And he'd finally come to accept that Coulson wanted the contact just as much. It was only awkward when Grant's tummy began to rumble from being hungry and Grant was certain Coulson could feel it, but since Coulson was quickly taking care of that problem, Grant just gave the older man a cheeky grin and opened his mouth to accept the food Coulson was offering him.
Coulson kissed his cheek as he continued to feed him, even while he kept the possessive hold, shifting Grant's shirt out of the way so he could touch bare skin.
Grant slumped into Coulson, letting out a tiny sound of happiness at the comforting touch. He was surprised when he looked at his plate and realized his Daddy had fed him everything on it and was almost done with his own food. He'd got lost in the sensation of his father rubbing his back.
Coulson finished feeding Grant and then kissed his cheek again. "I love you," he reiterated. "I won't ever let you go."
"I love you too..." Grant smiled in contentment.
Coulson kissed his head. "Get undressed and I'll check those scratches," he said gently.
"Yes, sir." Grant's obedience was quick as he stood and began disrobing. Soon, his clothes were neatly folded on a chair and he was standing in the all-together, fidgeting from foot to foot. "I think I'm all better," he offered hesitantly, not sure his father would agree.
Coulson pressed a kiss to his forehead and then began to carefully check over the scratches. "I want to be certain, boy," he said.
"Yes, daddy..." Grant said softly and managed to still his fidgeting. It wasn't easy, though, to stand there while his father examined him.
Coulson finished checking over his boy and finally nodded, satisfied that the scratches were healed. "Okay, boy...you are all healed. Now we'll get the spanking out of the way, so you remember to listen to me next time and don't have to feel guilty anymore."
Grant thought he should feel more trepidation at Coulson's announcement, but all he felt was relief. He had been feeling guilty for disobeying the older man. He was ready and eager for things to be right. "Yes, daddy, he whispered and shifted closer to Coulson so his father could take hold of him.
Coulson wrapped his arm around his boy's waist, guiding Grant into the living room. He sat on the couch and gently guided Grant over his lap, face up, gently guiding his legs up, so they could look into each other's eyes.
Grant bit his lip as he was positioned. Taking hold of his knees, he held himself in position, open and completely vulnerable. "I'm sorry I disobeyed," he said remorsefully, his eyes on Coulson's.
Coulson stroked his boy's cheek and down over his neck. "I know, but I've forgiven you. I love you." He lifted his hand, bringing it down in a firm smack that he then repeated.
Grant had let himself go limp over Coulson's knee immediately once in place and had promised himself not to hide his reactions from his father, but his loud yelp at the first smack startled him into silence for the next couple of swats as he kept wide open eyes on Coulson and then whimpered. "Daddy..."
Coulson kept his hand on Grant's pulse point, even as his other continued to swat, covering his boy's entire backside in the stinging smacks. "I've got you. I won't let you go. You're mine. I won't allow anyone else to take you away from me," he promised.
Grant found himself relaxing further, even as his eyes teared up. For a few brief seconds, he felt his body beginning to react as it had been conditioned to do, but to his surprise, Coulson's words stopped the reaction. The words had been said numerous times before; the only difference Grant could see was that he actually believed the words now. And the promise of never being let go...of Coulson not letting anyone take him...was different from all the ops. Different enough to jar him out of the conditioned response.
This took only seconds to cross his mind before the sting refocused his attention on his Daddy and he began to cry vocally. He didn't try and squirm away, though. He deserved to be punished. He needed to be punished. He needed to feel Coulson had him and wouldn't let him get away with disobedience or naughtiness.
Coulson began a new circuit of swats, gently squeezing Grant's neck and stroking over his pulse point. "I won't let anything take you away from me, boy."
"N..No...Not eve..even m..me?" Grant asked in a quivering voice, pressing his neck as much as possible into Coulson's hand, needing to feel the control his father had, even with all the other forms of control Coulson was asserting.
Coulson gripped a little tighter, though he was very careful not to risk harming his boy. "Not even you," he confirmed, finishing the second circuit and beginning a third, going a fraction harder and faster.
Grant closed his eyes tight for a moment to try and squeeze the tears out and then blinked in an effort to see his father more clearly. It was a lost cause, though. He could only see the older man through a haze of salt water. Swallowing hard, he found himself unable to remain relaxed and still as the spanking became harder and faster and began to squirm, despite his intent not to fight. He didn't attempt to stop his body's natural reaction; Coulson had told him before to not try and hide his reactions and he thought that meant if his body needed to squirm as well. Instead, he let himself squirm, but he kept his teary eyes on Coulson and said, in a tiny voice, "I'm sorry I c...can't...hold still..."
"I've got you, boy," Coulson whispered. "Don't worry about how you react." He gently squeezed Grant's neck, pulling his boy in tighter, and began focusing more swats to Grant's sit spots and thighs.
Grant gave Coulson a grateful look at the words of permission and did exactly that. He let himself react. Trusting that Coulson would keep him in place and safe, Grant allowed himself to wriggle. And once he let himself react, he was unable to stop himself from letting go of his legs as they shifted down in an attempt to hide his bottom. He let out a tiny choked sob and gave Coulson a semi-apologetic look- he didn't truly want to fight his father- but he just couldn't not try and block the smacks. They'd reached a point where they hurt, not just stung.
Coulson gently moved his boy's legs up, so he could continue swatting. He stroked Grant's cheek reassuringly, so his boy would know he wasn't upset.
"I...I c..can't..." Grant choked out another sob, wriggling even more, trusting that Coulson would be able to hold him in place. Tears streamed down his face and he gave Coulson an imploring look, begging without words for the punishment to be over so he could cuddle. He wasn't fighting, exactly; he was completely letting go and his body was reacting.
"I love you." Coulson paused the spanking and began to gently rub his boy's bottom and thighs. "I've got you. I won't let you go. You're my boy."
Grant quivered, the squirming slowing as the rubbing began to ease the ache. "...'m yours..." Grant sniffled in agreement, tears still streaming from his eyes. "...You t..take care of me..." He swallowed, his body relaxing and loosening at the possessive gentleness.
"Always," Coulson promised. "I love you. So much." He continued to gently stroke and rub, soothing the heat he could feel from Grant's backside.
"I...I can try and keep my legs up now, Daddy..." Grant whispered, sniffling again and giving Coulson a trembling, trusting smile. It was obvious he wasn't looking forward to more spanking, but it was also just as obvious he knew it was Coulson's decision to make and he trusted his father to give him as much as was needed.
Coulson stroked his boy's cheek and carefully moved Grant from over his lap to onto it, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "I think that's enough now," he said softly, hugging his boy tight.
Grant quickly wrapped his own arms around Coulson, holding on tightly and burying his face against the older man's chest. "I'm sorry I was naughty...I don't want to be naughty...I want to be good and obey you..." he whispered, nuzzling against his father. Despite his tight hold on Coulson, he was still loose limbed and pliant enough that Coulson could move him however and wherever he wanted. Grant was completely submitting to his care.
"You aren't naughty anymore," Coulson soothed, tightening his arms around his boy. "You're my good boy and I love you. So very much." He kissed Grant's head and just held on tightly.
"I love you too, Daddy..." Grant murmured, still snuggling and nuzzling against Coulson's chest. His bottom still ached from the spanking and he couldn't help but squirm every so often to try and get pressure off of it, but he didn't try and stand up. A sore bottom was the least he deserved from doing something that could have taken him away from his father.
Coulson gently kissed his son's head, stroking over Grant's pulse point and gently squeezing his neck. He situated his boy enough so that he could gently stroke and rub Grant's backside to soothe the soreness.
It didn't take long for the gentle affection to lull Grant into a state of boneless contentment. He just lay in his father's arms, snuggling in an almost drowsy state, even though he hadn't been tired prior to being spanked. "...Could stay like this forever..." he whispered softly.
Coulson pulled his boy closer, kissing his head. "I could as well," he whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too..." Grant mumbled against Coulson's shoulder, snuggling closer. "...Yours..." he whispered, reaching up and running a finger along the collar he now wore, before giving Coulson a contented smile.
Coulson tightened his embrace, gently squeezing his boy's neck. "Mine," he reiterated. "And you always will be. I won't ever let you go."
Grant nearly purred, pressing his neck further into Coulson's grip. "Good...don't wanna ever leave you..." he admitted, looking up into Coulson's face trustingly.
"I won't let that happen. Ever," Coulson promised. "You're mine. In every way it's possible for you to be." He continued gently squeezing and stroking Grant's neck.
Grant arched slightly so his neck, chest and belly were more exposed, making himself as vulnerable as possible to Coulson. The only way he would be more vulnerable was to lay back over the man's lap so he could stretch out completely and expose his entire torso.
Coulson continued to gently stroke and rub, responding to the exposing by stroking down over his boy's chest and belly. He was very careful and gentle, even while being completely possessive.
"Any missions we go on from now on..." Grant bit his lip and leaned against Coulson. "...Will I be teamed with someone?" He wasn't sure what he was asking. Well, maybe he knew a little why he was asking. After so blatantly going against orders with Lorelei, he wondered if Coulson would feel better making certain he was specifically teamed with someone who would go wherever he went unless ordered otherwise. Technically, he may have been with a group when Lorelei got him, but he hadn't been specifically teamed with anyone, so no one had questioned him going off alone. Or would Coulson want Grant teamed with him from here out, so he could keep an eye on him? Grant supposed what he really wanted to know was how difficult he'd just made his father's job because he couldn't obey a simple order. Even if he'd been punished, it didn't feel right that his actions would inconvenience everyone else.
"That's going to depend on the mission, but I think it's safer for all involved if all missions are done with partners," Coulson said.
"...So not just me? Everyone being partnered up?" Grant asked cautiously. He slanted his head. He had to admit it would be safer for everyone if that was what they did. The others would probably be all for it; most of them had done their ops with partners for a while now. He was the only one who had done everything on his own (prior to joining Coulson's team) and was still adjusting to being a team player.
"Not just you," Coulson confirmed. "It isn't a punishment. It's about keeping you all safe." He squeezed Grant's neck.
Grant expelled a tiny rumbling moan from the chest- that sounded suspiciously like a purr- as he pressed into Coulson's hand a bit more. He turned pink when he realized what he'd done, but didn't hide his face, instead giving Coulson a bashful smile and keeping his eyes on the older man as he stretched a little more, as if seeking more rubbing.
Coulson continued to gently stroke and rub, shifting Grant enough to make it easier to reach as much of his boy as possible.
Grant purred again, there wasn't any other word that fit, and nuzzled Coulson's shoulder a bit. He couldn't figure out if he wanted to stay like he was, so Coulson could continue rubbing his front, or if he wanted to twist enough that his father could rub his back and bottom. He supposed it didn't really matter; as long as the rubbing and touch was possessive and reminded him who he belonged to, the result was the same. A happy, contented, submissive boy.
Coulson kissed his boy's head, stroking and gently squeezing his neck and down over his chest and belly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy..." Grant said softly. "...I'm so glad you rescued me..." he continued, before turning so he could kiss his father's cheek.
"I would. Always," Coulson promised. "No matter what." He stroked and caressed, kissing his boy's head again, holding Grant tightly as if his arms could protect his boy.
"I believe that..." Grant smiled again. "...Just like I'd do anything you told me to do, no matter what. I'd do anything for you." His trust was clear in his voice.
"Exactly as I would for you. My boy." Coulson squeezed his neck possessively. "I'll do anything to keep you with me. To keep you safe."
"I'm yours...I'm so thankful to be yours..." Grant swallowed hard as he thought about what might have happened had Coulson not caught him and Garrett in their discussion. Had Grant continued on working for the other man. He didn't think it would have been good.
Coulson kissed his head and said softly, "If you want to lay across my lap once more, it'll be easier for me to touch and stroke."
Grant smiled bashfully. "On my back or on my tummy?" he asked quietly. He'd be happy either way, as long as Coulson was being possessive about it.
"On your tummy," Coulson answered, squeezing his neck. He'd spanked his boy face-up and figured being turned over would keep some of the weight off his sore bottom.
"Okay, daddy..." Grant smiled and leaned up to kiss Coulson on the cheek again before carefully moving so that he was face down over his father's lap. Coulson was far enough back on the couch that he was able to keep his upper torso and legs on the cushions, instead of hanging down toward the floor. "Like being like this..." he admitted hesitantly, turning pink again.
"I like it too, boy. So I can touch you and stroke you and take care of you." Coulson began to stroke and rub over Grant's shoulders, over his back and his bottom, down his legs.
"So I know who owns me..." Grant whispered shyly.
"Exactly, boy." Coulson gently stroked his lower back and over his bottom, gently squeezing his thighs.
Grant went boneless and he let out a tiny sigh. "...You own me...I'm yours...totally..." he whispered again.
"Always," Coulson murmured. "I've got you. I love you. I won't let anything happen to you." He continued to gently stroke and rub.
"...Safe with you..." Grant's whisper was becoming more of a murmur. "...You keep me safe..." His eyes closed of their own volition and the gentleness he was being handled with and the complete trust he had in Coulson enabled him to give in to his body's need for sleep. Soon, he was softly snoring over his father's lap.
Coulson still kept gently stroking and rubbing, planning to move his boy through to the bedroom as soon as he thought Grant wouldn't wake...but for now, he just wanted to hold and touch his boy.