Ed, Edd, n' Eddy in:

Bad Girls with Big Hearts

Chapter 1

The beautiful morning sun had just begun to come into view over the rolling hills surrounding the quiet suburban community of Peach Creek, ushering in a brand new morning for the inhabitants. It was Monday morning, the day that marked the start of yet another week of academic learning at Peach Creek Junior High.

Double Dee was awoken by the incessant and penetrating beeping of his digital alarm clock at 6:00 a.m.; the time he arose every morning. He quickly silenced his clock, and sat up in his bed with a smile on his face. After a quick stretch, the intelligent adolescent slowly slipped his feet out from under the warmth of his orange quilt, and into a pair of bedroom slippers, conveniently placed on the floor adjacent to his bed.

Double Dee made his way towards his solitary double hung bedroom window, which opened to the rear of his house. It was truly a beautiful February morning and even though the sun was still quite low in the sky, it had managed to completely bathe Double Dee's backyard with its beautiful golden rays. It was quite obvious that Old Man Winter had paid a visit to the cul-de-sac. The solitary tree located in the corner of Double Dee's yard had gone dormant; gone were the forest green leaves that once rustled in the breezy summer winds, leaving behind a bare, fractal-like skeleton of twigs. The beautiful bird calls characteristic of warm summer mornings had vanished, replaced by a still silence.

Double Dee smiled and turned away from his window after which he began making his way toward his bedroom closet. He opened the doors leading into the closet, and retrieved his favorite educational attire; a red, neatly pressed button down shirt, as well as a pair of blue jeans. After acquiring his garments, Double Dee made his way out of his bedroom and into the bathroom, where he would have his all important daily shower.

After showering, Double Dee proceeded to dress himself in the outfit he had picked out earlier, being sure to add a yellow-green diamond patterned neck tie to his wardrobe for "professionalism". He hesitated before placing his signature black ski hat on his head as he stared at his reflected image in the bathroom mirror. His smiling face had suddenly transformed into one of sadness, and he appeared as if he was about to tear up. A few seconds passed, after which he carefully placed his beloved hat on his head, brushed his teeth, and headed down to his kitchen for breakfast.

As usual, Double Dee discovered a series of small yellow sticky notes hanging on the door to the Kenmore refrigerator, bearing messages from his mother. He carefully removed one of the notes from the refrigerator and read the message.


Please vacuum the living room carpet and clean the drapes.

Love Mom

Double Dee's parents had demanding careers, and it was rare that he would be able to see them before making his way to school. Nevertheless, after a quick breakfast in the form of a bowl of Chunky Puffs cereal, Double Dee set out to accomplish the tasks that his mother had left for him.

The clock read 7:45 a.m. when Double Dee had completed his final chore, folding the linens in a triangular fashion. He knew that by now, all of his friends would be up and about, using the little time that they had before walking to school to enjoy themselves outside. Double Dee disposed of all of the sticky notes, and returned to his room to retrieve his thick orange winter coat, in addition to his blue single strapped book bag. Once he was sure that he had everything he needed for his academic day, he made his way down his red carpeted stairs to his large wooden front door. With a turn of the golden handle, Double Dee opened the door, and stepped out into the bone chilling winter air.

Peach Creek had received its first snowfall of the season over the course of the weekend. The inch thick coating of snow that blanketed the neighborhood on Friday night had already began to melt, and almost all of what remained of the powdery snow was nothing but ice and slush. Although most of the white stuff that lined the pavements was gone, a significant amount of it still sat on the twigs of the bare trees lining the cul-de-sac sidewalk. Nevertheless, with a quick glance around the cul-de-sac, Double Dee couldn't help but notice that it was completely devoid of life.

"Strange," said Double Dee to himself as he began walking down the decorative gravel path that connected his front door to the sidewalk. He crossed the street and began walking down the sidewalk towards Eddy's house. It seemed rather odd to Double Dee that Ed and Eddy were not outside participating in a sport or some other form of tom foolery.

"THINK FAST SOCK HEAD!" yelled the gritty and obnoxious voice of Eddy which seemed to come out of nowhere.

Double Dee had no time to react, for at the same time as the sound of Eddy's voice filled the air, a snowball had managed to smack him in the back of the head. Double Dee quickly turned around to see his two best friends standing on the sidewalk behind him. Eddy was grinning slyly, while Ed was running around in circles, giggling in a dopey manner as he enjoyed what little snow was left on the ground. Eddy was wearing his typical winter attire; a yellow sweater with a single horizontal purple stripe, blue jeans, and grey snow boots, along with red gloves on his hands. Ed was not dressed any differently than he usually was. He donned his trademark oversized green coat, which he wore over top of his white and red striped t-shirt. In addition, he was wearing a gray Sherpa hat on his head, as well as a pair of old brown Timberland boots on his feet.

"Geez Double Dee, you gotta work on your reflexes." said Eddy as he grinned.

Double Dee sighed as he walked towards his best friends.

"I suppose a simple 'good morning' was out of the question?" asked Double Dee.

"Hey what's winter without a snowball fight?" asked Eddy, "C'mon, let's round up the guys and head to the construction site for some sledding. We got a snow day to enjoy!"

"A snow day?" asked Double Dee, "Please, you can't possibly think that these meager remnants of Friday night's snowfall are sufficient enough to close schools Eddy?"

"Ya think I don't know that?" said Eddy, "C'mon, it's been two freakin' years since we had a snow day. It's time we made our own."

"Eddy, I am surprised at you!" said Double Dee with a rather angry expression on his face, "You can't possibly be considering truancy as a solution to your distaste in academics. And besides, I know from assisting in the administrative office that absences without excuse warrant the school to place a phone call to the parents of the student in question."

Eddy groaned and ground his teeth as he kicked some slush away from his feet. Ed simply stared at Double Dee with a saddened expression on his face, as Eddy had managed to convince him that classes were cancelled.

"Come now gentleman we must be onward if we wish to be on time!" said Double Dee enthusiastically, after glancing at his golden pocket watch. He glanced over towards his oafish best friend, whos face was still adorned with a somber expression.

"Cheer up Ed," said Double Dee with a smile on his face, "I believe you will be delighted to know that today's lunch special happens to be 'Bottomless Gravy Day'"

Ed's saddened expression suddenly disappeared, and was replaced with an ear-to-ear smile.

"School for Ed!" yelled Ed in an obnoxious and dopey sounding voice, after which he began running down the street while giggling as if he was a small child excited to go to the toy store.

"That's the spirit Ed!" yelled Double Dee as he followed his friends lead, but not before turning around to face his, short, stubby best friend. "Come now Eddy, there is no excuse for tardiness!"

Eddy's face was filled with an expression of annoyance as he groaned under his breath and placed his hands in his pants pockets. He reluctantly began his journey towards Peach Creek Junior High, following his much more exuberant best friends.

The fifteen minute walk to school was the ultimate form of torture to Eddy, who had to deal with Double Dee's never ending soliloquies on the importance of academic learning, as well as Ed's playful antics. Nevertheless, the boys had finally arrived at the entrance gates leading the middle school campus they had come to know and love. They passed through the opening of the chain link fence surrounding the school, and made their way across the slush covered asphalt towards the main entrance of the school. The bus parking lot located in the front of the main building was quite abuzz with students, who were utilizing their free time before the morning bell to participate in a snowball fight.

Double Dee was in the middle of yet another monologue about the benefits of schooling as the three best friends made their way up the large concrete stairs that lead to the school's main entrance.

"Just think gentleman, upon entering those large brown doors, we will embark on yet another wonderful fun filled day of learning!" said Double Dee enthusiastically with a smile on his face, "Learning is the essence of life, and who are we to deny ourselves the opportunity to take advantage of our right to a free education."

Double Dee opened the large brown doors, for his friends to pass through before him.

"Yeah, whatever," said Eddy in dull tone as he walked through the threshold into the school, "Let's just get this over with."

All three boys were completely taken aback when they discovered that their school had been given a familiar face lift over the weekend. It was February 10th, four days shy of Valentine's Day and due to the vice principals love for the holiday, the entire school had been decorated in a theme to suit the occasion. On what seemed to be every square inch of bare wall space were red and pink construction paper cutouts of hearts, some with phrases such as "Be Mine", "True Love", and "Hug Me" inscribed on to them with marker. In addition to the heart cutouts, there were red, pink and white streamers, spanning across the hallway, every 20 feet or so. Even more heart shaped cutouts dangled from the streamers, although they were smaller and were of red, orange and yellow hues. Long banners adorned the walls over the lockers, displaying various phrases pertaining to the holiday.

"What's with all the sissy stuff?" asked Eddy as he observed his surroundings.

"My dear, isn't it just wonderful?" asked Double Dee as he smiled, "To think that I had almost forgotten that Valentine's Day is just a few short days away!"

The boys began walking down the hallway towards their lockers as they continued their conversation.

"Let us rejoice gentleman!" said Double Dee, "Come Friday, millions of individuals around the world will be partaking in the exchange of gifts, kind words, and romantic gestures, with the intent of letting that oh so special someone know that they care."

"Forget, all of that wimpy romantic stuff!" yelled Eddy, "Who needs any of that when you're the hippest, coolest, most good lookenist guy around. Watch out boys, cause on Friday, all of the ladies will be mine."

"Right," said Double Dee sarcastically as he began opening his locker, "And where may all of these female friends of yours be at this moment, in the 'can' once again I suppose."

Double Dee chuckled at his joke as he removed his thick orange coat and placed it in his locker.

"Whatever Sock Head," said Eddy, "Just stick with me, and you'll have some chicks of your own in no time. That is, if ya can get them away from me."

Eddy glanced into the mirror that hung in his locker, and gave his reflection a complimentary wink.

Double Dee sighed as he exchanged his books. He couldn't help but notice that Ed had not yet uttered a single word since the boys had reached their lockers.

"Is something troubling you Ed?" asked Double Dee, "You are being awfully quiet."

Ed looked around at his surroundings with a fearful expression on his face, after which he finally spoke up.

"NO MUSHY STUFF FOR ED!" yelled Ed, after which he ran over to the trash can situated at the hallway junction. He removed the lid of the swing top receptacle and jumped inside replacing the lid on the can.

"Wake me up when Valentine's Day is over and the girls are all gone!" said Ed fearfully as he peered out of the swing lid, glancing up and down the hallway to be sure that no females were present.

Ed's actions prompted heavy laughter from Eddy, who was squeezing his stomach as if he was in pain.

"My ribs, they're killing me!" yelled Eddy as he attempted to speak during his fit of laughter.

Double Dee gave Eddy a sarcastic glare, at which point he began making his way towards the trash receptacle.

"Come now Ed," said Double Dee as he began removing the lid to the trash can. He peered down inside to see a very fearful Ed glaring up at him. "You really must try to conquer your fear of the opposite sex. Females are individuals just like you and me, and adolescence is the perfect opportunity to form beautiful platonic friendships."

Double Dee began helping Ed out of the receptacle. It was no surprise that Ed was completely covered with filth and was emitting an odor characteristic of sedentary garbage. Double Dee quickly used a can of disinfectant he kept in his back pack to sanitize his friend, at which point the sound of the bell signaling the start of homeroom filled the air.

After a short walk, the Ed's eventually passed through the glass-paned door leading into homeroom. Upon entering the classroom, they made their way towards their usual seats behind Kevin and Nazz. Kevin and Nazz had entered a relationship a few weeks after their excursion across the tri-county area in search of the Ed's due to their ice cream machine scam disaster. Kevin began to pick up on the signals that Nazz was into him, and finally made the move. In addition, after the incident with Eddy's brother, Kevin and Eddy had become pretty good friends. Kevin now used "dork" as a term of endearment, rather than an insult. They still shared a friendly rivalry, and although Eddy took the news of Kevin dating Nazz with envy, he soon put those feelings aside after he realized that he "was just too cool" to chase after a single girl.

"Yo dorky!" said Kevin as he stood up and turned around to greet his friend.

"Sup shovel chin!" yelled Eddy as he shook Kevin's hand, pulling him into a brotherly hug as he did so, "What's happenin?"

The teacher began taking roll as Eddy and Kevin shared a friendly conversation, busting each other's chops about bets they have made on various sports games. Nazz simply buried her face in the newest edition of Cosmo Girl magazine as her boyfriend joked with his good friend. Double Dee spent his time in homeroom organizing his files for the upcoming school day, as Ed crawled his hand across his desk, pretending as if it was a monster he had seen in a movie the previous night.

The teacher had finally finished taking roll, at which point the door to the classroom opened with an audible creek. The enthusiastic, yet shrill voice of Ms. Glassier, the vice-principal, filled the air as she walked into the classroom, bidding the students a good morning as she did so. She was a woman of relatively average height and wore a red sweater, boasting a few heart shaped patches, not unlike those that decorated the halls of the school. Ms. Glassier gave a short yet amusing speech on the importance of Valentine's Day, after which she reached into her red knap sack. She retrieved a small white envelope, and held it in her hand as she walked around the room, looking each and every student in the eye with a smile. Every year, Ms. Glassier chose a random student from each class to receive a poetic Valentines fortune, and it was time that she decided on this year's recipient.

Eventually she came across Double Dee, who was currently reorganizing the papers contained within his biology folder. Double Dee sensed Ms. Glassiers presence and ceased his activity momentarily to look her in the eye. Ms. Glassier simply smiled, placed the envelope on Double Dee's desk, and uttered a few cryptic words, "Cupid has his eye on you."

Double Dee looked upon the small envelope in a state of confusion as Ms. Glassier made her way to the front of the class. She bid the students a wonderful day and left the classroom, on her way to spread more valentines cheer.

Double Dee examined the envelope he was holding for a few seconds. The envelope was sealed by a sticker in the shape of a heart, its red color standing out against the white background. He glanced away from the envelope momentarily to see each and every student staring at him, wondering what could possibly be contained within. He was quite embarrassed at the fact that he had been put on the spot, and began blushing as well as sweating profusely. Nevertheless, Double Dee took hold of the small envelope, and broke the seal. He lifted the flap and slowly removed the contents.

Inside was small tan-colored card, no bigger than the average index card. On the card was what appeared to be a short poem written in blue ink. Four red hearts positioned in each corner of the card acted as a decorative border around the words. Double Dee sighed, after which he began reading the words to himself:

"This Valentine's Day will come with surprise

Your true love is the one that you claim to despise

Let go of the past, your future is bright

For Cupid will strike you on Valentines night!"