Chapter 1 - Goodbye Logan, Farewell My Heart

Max looked down at the hand that was holding hers so tightly. Logan, my sweet sweet saviour, my most trusted friend, the man I adore. The feel of his warm hand on hers comforted her slightly though the sight of their gloved hands brought the harsh reality of their situation to her attention and as much as she wanted to deny what was happening she knew she couldn't. It was over between her and Logan, tonight it would have to be over, Logan's very life depended on them not being together. By the familiar hard set of Logan's jaw she knew that in his head he was already planning a new life in Terminal City to be with her but Max didn't want him there. If she were around Logan 24/7 it would only be a matter of time before he caught a lethal dose of the virus. That was why she had tried to distance herself from him to begin with. But Logan had always put her safety before his, she couldn't let him do that any more. It was her turn to watch over him and put his safety first but she wasn't sure how hard he would take it. She knew he loved her and he would never give up searching for the cure but in the deep recesses of Max's self conscious she knew she had already given up hope. There was no way they would be able to find Sandeman, even if they searched for the rest of their lives. It was a simple fact yet it hurt deep down in Max's soul. Logan deserved better, he shouldn't be fearing for his life when he was with the one he loved, it wasn't right. Which is why I have to push him away, this time for real, Max made the painful decision her heart heavy in her chest, I have to set Logan free, so he can have a normal life, so he can do everything I will never be able to do. Having made the decision Max pursed her lips for a moment to gather her courage for what she had to do then she pulled her hand gently away. Logan frowned and looked over at Max questioningly in a way Max found difficult to harden her heart against, his pale green eyes were wide with confusion at her behaviour and he raised his eyebrows willing her to speak to him. Just when he thought things were going so well between them she did a 3600 change of mood. Max's gaze remained on his pale green eyes. Those eyes. Every time she looked into his eyes she felt herself falling in love with him all over again. Then he smiled so warmly that Max felt her defences slipping so she had to turn away from him giving him the view of her back.

"Logan you better go now," Max began stiffly and held up her hand when Logan tried to protest and she spoke quickly in case she lost her nerve, "You can't stay here Logan, you would be in too much danger, from White and me, if you didn't get sick and die from radiation poisoning then the virus would find a way to finish you off, I need you to be safe Logan, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

After her outburst Logan stared at her as though he had never seen her before. And in reality he hadn't. This woman who stood before him was not the carefree Max he used to know, the Max who was without responsibility and cared only for herself, this new woman was the head of a whole race of people, their saviour, she was the one who would be their deliverer; their messiah, she was theirs. And she could never be mine, Logan conceded seeing reason in her request yet he couldn't give up, not her, he had risked so much for her, he couldn't just leave. He reached out to touch her and automatically Max shrunk away from him touch.

"We'll find a cure, it'll be all right," Logan promised her desperately and Max shook her head smiling wryly at him hating fate and her destiny. Logan was older than her yet he still persisted in believing in childish whims that would never be fulfilled. Why couldn't he see this was the end?

"I doubt a cure even exists, Renfro wanted to make sure there was no way you would survive, and until you find this cure of yours, I think it would be better I you and I never see each other again, I'm sorry Logan, but it is for the best," those were the hardest words Max had ever had to say. One year ago she could never have imagined saying any such words to Logan yet here they stood and they were parting company. The crushed look on Logan's face told her exactly how he was feeling about their impending separation. He visually seemed to crumble before Max's eyes as the full realisation of what Max was saying sunk in. He would never see her again after this night. He would never hear her voice, or see her smile, he would never know her.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I would risk everything to stay with you here," Logan asked as droplets of heavy rain started to fall around them. Neither noticed. As he stood there with rain falling onto his head drenching him from head to foot and his expressive green eyes begged for Max to reconsider, and Max turned away so she didn't have to see how hurt he was. They stood regarding each other for the longest time and both were unaware that they were getting drenched in the rain. Nothing mattered to them except each other and in that one instant they both knew it was over, everything between them was over.

"It is what has to be done," Max said her voice choked up with emotion and taking one good look at her Logan turned around not wanting to say his goodbyes just yet. In his heart he still held hope that someday he would find the cure, no matter how unlikely that outcome seemed. A tear rolled down his cheek and he reached up to brush it away quickly not wanting to make Max feel bad for doing what they both knew had to be done. He took a few steps towards the gate when Max's timid voice stopped him in his tracks.

"I do love you Logan."

Logan turned slowly and was startled to see tears running down Max's face. He had never before seen her cry and it touched him that she cried for him. He gave a weak smile as he blew her an air kiss.

"Now you tell me," he joked trying to stop the tears falling from his own eyes that mingled with the rain anyway as he muttered, "women."

Max let out a gurgle of laughter that suddenly turned into soft sobs as she stood there wrapping her arms around her frail body. Giving her one last smile Logan turned and walked out of Terminal City and out of her life. Goodbye Logan, Max whispered to herself allowing her tears to mingle with the rain as she upturned her head to the sky, farewell my heart.