By The Mouse of Anon
Sonic woke up minding his own business. It was a quiet lovely morning when suddenly Tails threw open the door and called out, "Beware the mogwai that has a glandular problem named FRANK!," then disappeared. The hedgehog stared at the open door wondering what the heck was going on. The hedgehog got up and went outside to go talk to Sally. When he found her she said, "Oh good, there you are! I've been needing to talk to you." "What about?," the hedgehog asked politely, trying to forget Tails' earlier act of insanity. "Listen, there's this new creature that Robotnik's employed in his fight against us. I'd like you to go check it out and stop it." Sonic flashed his trademark grin, "Oh but of course. ...Um... What is it exactly that I'm going to be looking for?"

"A mogwai that has a glandular problem named Frank," Sally replied. Sonic stared at her, "What'd you say? I'm not sure I heard you clearly." "I said that you're going to be looking for a mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank," the princess explained. "What the hell is a mogwai?," Sonic asked in disbelief. "Haven't you ever seen the Gremlins movies?," Sally asked impatiently. "Say what? The WHAT movies?," Sonic was getting more and more confused. "The Gremlins movies. You know, the ones with Gizmo and whatnot?" "I don't even know what the hell you're talking about!," Sonic exclaimed. "She's talking about a mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank," Rotor explained as he stepped out of a plot-hole.

"Where did you come from?!," the hedgehog shrieked. "A plot-hole," the walrus explained. "WHAT THE YIFF IS GOING ON HERE?!," Sonic screamed. Suddenly everybody in Knothole turned around to look at him and said, "You're being sent on a mission after a mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank!" The green-eyed hedgehog let out a derisive snort, "Yeah, I already knew that, but WHAT THE HELL IS A MOGWAI?!" "You don't know what a mogwai ees? Sonique, I am being surprised at you!," Antoine stated as he popped out of thin air, then he proceeded to act surprised. "That's it, I'm outta here...," Sonic muttered, ignoring all the people who started to chant, "Mogwai... mogwai... mogwai..."

The hedgehog ran until he found a teleporter to the Floating Island. Once he was teleported there he flopped on the ground and let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully whatever had affected those down on the mainland hadn't affected anybody on the island. Sonic looked up as Knuckles walked up to him. "Hiya Knux." "Hello Sonic, just out of curiosity, what are you doing up here?," the guardian of the Chaos Emeralds asked. "I'm hiding from everyone in Knothole. They've all lost their minds and keep on talking about a mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank," the blue hedgehog replied. The red-furred echidna blinked and muttered, "Oooooo-kay... Yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh... I can see why you'd leave because of that." Sonic let out a sigh of relief. "...After all, everybody knows that the mogwai's real name is Randy."

Sonic let out a scream before bolting to his feet, and then running away still screaming. Knux shook his head and muttered, "Gee, I wonder what his problem is?" Just then a black chao showed up and said, "The poo-bah of smurf-land requests your presence at the main mushroom, and you know how he hates to be kept waiting..." The red echidna snorted and then drop-kicked the chao before muttering, "Sorry, I've got something else to do. Anyway, back with our favorite blue hedgehog, Sonic was running, screaming like a maniac. ....Okay, just for the sake of being cruel and shutting him up, he ran into a tree. ...A BIG tree. ...Let's make it a sequoya. Anyway!...

Sonic fell flat on his back and stared upward into the canopy. "What the hell is a sequoya doing on the Floating Island?," the hedgehog wondered aloud. "THERE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TREES THAT BIG ON THIS STUPID FREAKING ISLAND! THERE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DAYS LIKE THIS! AND THERE SURE AS HELL AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE MOGWAIS WITH GLANDULAR PROBLEMS NAMED FRANK OR RANDY!" Sonic blinked, wondering suddenly how he had screamed all that out without moving his lips. "Sonikku!," Amy squealed as she dropped out of a plot-hole above him and landed on top of the startled blue hedgehog. Sonic let out a shriek, pushed her off, then ran screaming.... Off the edge of the Floating Island.

"THE FLOATING ISLAND ISN'T THIS SMALL!," Sonic screamed as he fell toward the water. Oh well, like I really care, I'm the author after all and I can mess with him all I want. So XP to you all! Sonic crashed into the water with a loud SPLASH! When he came up however, he found himself in the shallow end of a pool with a pink floaty stuck around him. Sonic's ears went flat against his head as his eyes went wide. "This is SO not right...," the hedgehog muttered as he started struggling to get the floaty off. "Actually it could be worse...," Rouge stated from her lawn chair. "HOW?!," the blue, now-soaked, mobian shrieked. "A smurf poo-bah, a black chao, and a mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank or Randy could be in there with you," the bat stated calmly.

Sonic jumped out of the pool and stole a towel before he ran away screaming like a fool. "Okay author, pay up! You owe me that one! I didn't even have to be in this fic." *grumble, grumble, mutters* Back-stabbing bat. *slips Rouge a fifty* "Thank you!" You readers didn't just see that. Once again back to our fav hedgehog... Sonic ran to Robotropolis, at this rate he would be willing to be killed, just so long as he didn't have to hear one more thing about any mogwais (whatever they were). The hedgehog came to a screaching stop in front of Robotnik after about ten minutes. "Robotnik! Do me a favor and just shoot my friggin' head off!"

"But I didn't get to force you to battle with the mogwai with a glandular problem named Fred!," the giant tub of lard whined. Sonic let out a scream as he ripped out some of his quills in frustration before he jumped so he was standing on Robotnik's expansive belly. "Look, if you DON'T kill me RIGHT NOW so help me I'll... I'll," Sonic's right eye was now twitching as he frothed at the mouth and sounded like a maniac. "I'LL COMMIT FREAKING SUICIDE! YOU HEAR ME?!" "But- but- But what about-" "What about the mogwai with a glandular problem named Frank or Randy or Fred?! I DON'T CARE! I HEAR ONE MORE WORD ABOUT HIM AND I'LL KILL MYSELF!" "You can't-"

"What?! Don't you believe me?!," Sonic shrieked maniacally, "I'll prove it to you!" The hedgehog jumped off of Robotnik's belly and tackled Snively as the short overlander walked into the control room. The blue-furred mobian ripped the gun from Snively's belt, got off of him and laughed out crazily, "GOOD BYE YIFFED UP WORLD!" With that he put the gun to his head pulled the trigger, shooting his brains out across the floor. Just because I feel like being even more cruel, the fact that he commited suicide sends Sonic to hell, so you know where he is now. The hedgehog opened his eyes in hell and let out a blissful sigh. No more mogwais or anything, he could be in heaven. "Hey buddy, d'you know anything about the mogwai with a glandular problem named Ed?," a demon asked him politely. Sonic let out a scream that echoed throughout hell.

The End