After all this time you think that you would have all figured out by now that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Here's another cute pointless baby Misfit fic. Again this could take place at any time so don't worry about continuity okay? This is just pointless, silly fun!
Babies on Film
"All right why did I come down here?" Shipwreck sighed as he made his way downstairs. "I know I had a reason."
"Since when do you have a reason for anything?" Althea walked up to him.
"Now I remember," Shipwreck went to a nearby table and picked up a book. "Psyche's assigned me some reading. One of his ideas for improving things around here. So he want's us all to read some of these psychiatric gobbledy gook books."
"How to be a More Responsible Parent," Althea read. "Hmmm. Hey Dad have you seen the babies? Where are they?"
"How should I know where they are?" Shipwreck waved. "I'm gonna go read. I'm sure the kids are around here somewhere."
"Oh yeah that book will help," Althea rolled her eyes as her father left. Now where could those little rugrats be? Maybe they're out in the backyard."
She went out back and saw Todd with the babies. They were sitting on a huge blue blanket with plenty of toys. The babies were dressed in cute little romper outfits while Todd had a director's beret on. He held a video camera at them. "Okay you guys! Smile for the camera!"
"What are you doing?" Althea asked as she walked up to them.
"I'm making a documentary on baby mutants," Todd told her.
"Okay I'll bite," Althea sat down next to him. "Why?"
"Well I was thinking," Todd told her. "Maybe there are other ways to make the public accept mutants than beating 'em up."
"Well that's a good train of thought."
"I'm serious. Then it hit me."
"What a brick?"
"No actually one of Little C's baby toys. But it gave me an idea. Everybody loves babies right? Cause they're cute and small and all that. Well what if there was a film about mutant babies? Then everybody could see how cute they are and they'll think 'Oh look at how cute and cuddly those mutant babies are! Maybe they ain't so bad!' Great idea huh?"
"I gotta admit it's one of your better ones," Althea said. "So which scene is this?"
"This is the opening scene," Todd took out a notebook. "I'm gonna do a few shots of them playing on the blanket, then it's off to the sandbox. After that it's lunch and bath time. It's kind of a loose format here. I'm gonna just roll the camera and see what I get and have Pietro splice it all in editing."
"Oh I gotta watch this," Althea shook her head.
"Okay everybody quiet on the set!" Todd shouted.
"Todd we're the only two people here," She told him.
"Just be quiet already!" Todd held up the camera. "And roll 'em!"
Barney had already picked up a soft toy and was cuddling it. Claudius noticed a small moth fluttering around and watched it. "Babies," Todd spoke as he filmed. "They're so cute. So innocent. They see the world around them as a magical place. Their reactions to the what goes on around them are an example of human nature in its most basic pure form."
"MINE!" Claudius screamed as he grabbed Barney's toy.
"Nuh uh!" Barney grabbed it back. "MINE!"
"MINE!" Claudius shrieked as he tugged it back.
"MINE!" Barney yanked it away and fell on his back. "MINE!"
"CUT!" Todd shouted. "No, no fighting!" He separated the two of them. "You have to learn to play nice and share."
"MINE!" Barney cried.
"Okay, Beaky okay," Todd sighed as he put down his camera and picked him up. "Yeah Little C shouldn't have tried to take your toy like that."
"MINEEEEEEEE!" Claudius howled. "UP! UP!" He raised his flippers wanting to be picked up as well.
"Actors sure are temperamental aren't they?" Althea snickered. "Come here you." She picked him up. "Now you have to learn to play nice. Otherwise it's pen for you."
Barney quieted down as Todd patted his back. "Maybe we should do some individual shots first?" He sighed.
"That might be a good idea," Althea sat Claudius down a little further away. She gave him some soft building blocks to play with. "Okay why don't we play with the building blocks huh? Yeah that'll be fun."
"Okay Beaky why don't we just get some shots of you over here," Todd sat Barney on the grass and picked up his camera. "Now let's smile and make cute faces for the camera." To this Barney squalled and started tearing up the grass with his little hands. "Geeze somebody woke up on the wrong side of the crib this morning!"
"SMASH!" Claudius shrieked as he started throwing building blocks at Barney.
"BA GA!" Barney shouted as he crawled towards Claudius. Before either Todd or Althea could stop them they tackled each other.
"Cut!" Todd groaned.
"Not going as planned Mr. Spielburg?" Althea mocked.
"No, no it's still doable," Todd sighed as he watched the babies wrestle with each other on the ground. "I just have to take the film in a whole other direction."
"What's gotten into them today?" Althea sighed. "Have you ever seen behavior like that?"
"GIVE IT BACK PIETRO!" Wanda screamed in the distance.
"NO WAY SIS! IT'S MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! MUHAHAHAHA!" Pietro laughed. "HEY! NO FAIR!"
"All the time," Todd sighed as he turned around and saw Wanda and Pietro wrestling.
"Speaking of infants," Althea sighed. "Okay what's going on?"
"He started it!" Wanda shouted.
"She started it!" Pietro shouted at the same time.
"What happened?" Althea asked in a sterner tone.
"Well," Wanda got up and brushed herself off. "I was just minding my own business when he comes along and he steals my candy bar!"
"I was hungry and you should learn to share," Pietro made a face.
"I would if you asked me instead of grabbing it!" Wanda snapped.
"Well you can have it back if you really want!" Pietro stuck out his tongue. "You might have trouble getting it though!"
"DIE!" Wanda tackled him.
"Oh brother," Althea rolled her eyes.
"Don't stop 'em yo!" Todd hopped over with the camera. "We can use this footage for some other film later. Or maybe blackmail 'em!"
"Even better," Althea said as they watched the twins fight.
Later on that day, "Okay has anybody seen Toad?" Lance asked as he went into the living room. "I think he 'borrowed' some of my clothes again."
"He's outside directing his latest cinematic masterpiece," Althea told him.
"He's what?" Lance asked.
"He's making movies using my baby brothers as the stars," Althea said. "Go take a look. You won't believe what he's doing." She went outside with him.
In the sandbox were the babies. However this time they were wearing tiny little warrior outfits, like you would see on the 'Mad Max' films. All around them was a tiny 'city' made of building blocks. "What in the world…?" Lance asked.
"This is your documentary?" Althea asked.
"Okay take two," Todd readied his camera. "New angle. Baby Armageddon! Action!"
Both babies sat there looking at him, blinking. "Okay kids go ahead!" Todd coached. "Smash it all up. Smashy smashy! Go on!" They sat there still not doing anything. "Okay then forget what I just said. Just sit there doing nothing then."
At this the babies squealed and started trashing the building block city. "I thought that would work," Todd muttered under his breath.
"Okay how is this supposed to help people understand mutants better?" Althea ducked as the sand started to fly.
"It isn't. I've given up that. This is just for our entertainment," Todd said. "Might as well put that destructive power to good use."
"Babies fighting," Lance blinked. "This is a low even for us!"
"They're not fighting each other this time," Todd said. "They're just freely expressing their emotions through non verbal actions."
"In other words they're wrecking everything in sight," Althea said. "Who's gonna watch this?"
"Hey what's going on here?" Shipwreck walked out and saw them. "What are they doing?"
"Wrecking stuff," Lance told him. "And Toad's filming it."
"Cool!" Shipwreck grinned. "Okay boys trash those blocks good! Way to go!"
"Your dad's totally nuts you know that?" Lance asked Althea as Shipwreck cheered the babies' destructive rampage on.
"Tell me something I don't know," Althea rolled her eyes.