A Series of Unlikely Events
Summary: While running through the Ministry in their attempts to avoid Death Eaters and a dark lord, something went terribly wrong. Fortunately, Harry is nothing if not resilient. Inexplicably in the past? Your adversary is now your classmate? Sorted into Slytherin? Bring it on. Harry Potter has totally got this. Series of one shots detailing Harry's adventures in the past.
Characters: Harry Potter
Harry wondered if Riddle had never had someone he could be himself around before.
He wondered this for many reasons. First of all, he'd always thought his little gothic groupies knew exactly what their leader was like and followed after him anyway. Apparently, this was not the case. Even when amongst his 'friends' Riddle had some polish shining brightly. The polish was transparent, the others saw glimpses through it time to time, but he never dropped the facade around them.
So maybe that was why he'd sort of begun to stick to Harry like glue. Odd Harry Jameson who never so much as blinked an eye when his mask slipped. Strange Harry Jameson who found his little comments amusing rather than intimidating. After all, it had to be tiresome to pretend all of the time. Then again Harry wondered what it said about his own persona that someone like Tom Riddle felt drawn to him.
Harry tried very carefully not to remember that once, when he was just Harry talking to a diary that was just Tom, they'd been drawn to one another anyway. Denial was an amazingly useful coping mechanism.
Whatever Riddle's reasoning, the Slytherin had taken an interest in Harry beyond that which he paid to his wannabe followers. These attentions came with benefits and some not so pleasant side effects. Case and point?
"No, that tie. That one there." Harry blinked down at the dark blue tie a long finger was pointing to. He put it on without bothering to argue. Last time he'd done so Riddle had taken great pleasure in explaining why he was right in the most dreadfully boring way possible. He'd done so exacttly because everyone knew how much Harry Jameson hated being bored.
"Polish your shoes."
Harry knelt down, drew out his second pair -you have two pairs and you alternate every other day, didn't your parents teach you anything?- and dutifully polished them. They were really fine but adding extra polish wouldn't hurt them. Harry thought Riddle had simply become accustomed to bossing him around at this point.
He turned to find violet eyes looking him over critically. "Will you please comb your hair for once?"
"Leave my hair out of this ya megalomaniac!" He huffed and crossed his arms.
Riddle blinked. Then his eyes narrowed and a small smirk pulled at his lips. "You don't know how to fix it, do you?"
"I do not," Harry admitted.
When he was finally released from the controlling Slytherin's clutches Harry made his way down to breakfast on his own. Riddle said he had something he needed to take care of and honestly Harry didn't need to know whether there were students tied up and hidden about the dorm for Riddle to practice Dark Arts on. He'd much prefer to live on in peaceful ignorance.
Entering the great hall Harry paused and surveyed the room as was customary for him. He liked to pick out who he was going to pick on that day. 'Pick on' here means focus his odd mannerisms on. While it was still great fun to do so with his housemates, he needed to practice on others lest his housemates become desensitized. Then what would Harry do for fun?
He took his seat which was across from Rosier and Lestrange and one down from Avery, Knott and a witch with long blond hair gathered into a ponytail. On his other side was an empty seat reserved for Riddle. Harry didn't know when this had become the norm, only that it now had and he didn't much mind the arrangement.
"I do wish," Drawled Rosier, examining his water goblet idly, "That you wouldn't look at people like you're considering how best to eat them."
Harry felt his lips pulling into a smile involuntarily. Rosier was probably his favourite. He put a hand to his chest in mock offense. "Mother was very strict on that point, no devouring the students! I do tend to keep my word you know. I have self-control."
Rosier's dark blue eyes rose to meet Harry's. He leant back and clucked his teeth and gave a pretend sigh. "Most parents warn their children not to talk to strangers. Jameson's have to warn him not to eat them." Rosier shook his head in faux disappointment.
A few seats down from him a wizard Harry didn't know leant toward another wizard he didn't know and whispered, "Is he kidding?"
NPC 2 -or so Harry named the second wizard in his head- looked rather pale. "Merlin I hope so."
"Talking about me?" Riddle slid into the seat beside Harry. Ever since Harry had sarcastically referred to him as Merlin, Riddle had made little jests now and then calling himself Merlin or Salazar or some other great person. He took too much of a liking to it for it not to be the tiniest bit narcissistic on his part.
Harry pointed at Riddle with his fork. "Now he is someone whose word you should always find suspect."
Riddle glanced up at Harry then back down to his plate. "I resent that."
"Yet he doesn't deny it."
When Harry looked up a moment later to get an apple he found Rosier and Lestrange looking at him. "Yes?"
"Nice tie." Said, Lestrange. "And your hair looks good today."
Harry's eyes flicked down to the tie and then back up to the two Slytherins. "Thanks?"
"Riddle pick it out?" Rosier questioned, his eyes were on his nails as if he couldn't actually care less.
"Yes." Said, Harry. Beside him, he felt Riddle's movements slow down to indicate he was listening as well.
Without looking away from the nails on his right hand Rosier held his left out palm up in front of Lestrange. Lestrange scowled, pulled a coin from his pocket and set it in Rosier's waiting hand. Rosier held it up to the light. "Just in time for Hogsmeade. How fortunate it."
Thoughts? Comments? Theories? Questions? Limericks?
AN: What do you think the other students make of Harry?
Ever Yours, Pseu