War had come to Coruscant.
For three years now, the Gram Republic With The Space had been fighting a massive, galaxy-spanning conflict with the separatist movement known as the Abruption Doctrine. Trillions of beings had died. The Gram Republic had only managed to wage this war for two reasons. One: an army of clones grown secretly on the hidden planet of Camino. And two: the legendary order of warriors who had protected the Gram Republic for untold millennia. Every Abruption officer feared them. Every Gram citizen knew their name.
The Hopeless Situation Warriors.
But now, the skies of Coruscant were ablaze, and it seemed even the mightiest of Hopeless Situation Warriors couldn't save the Gram Republic. The Abruption Doctrine fleet of airships were attacking the Gram Republic's very capital, engaging Republic airships, and rumours were spreading on the surface. Rumours that D the Superior was missing.
D the Superior was the Speaker and the Prime Minister of the Gram Republic. He was the Republic's leader, adored by his people, and perhaps the most important person in the entire galaxy. For him to be kidnapped… it could turn the entire war against the Gram Republic.
However, though the people didn't know it, there was no reason to be afraid. High above them, streaking through space, were two tiny Republic airships. Each one containing a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
"Target, teacher!" called out Allah Gold. "Take aim at directly the machine head of that airship. Is an airship that that slowness crawl along!"
Allah's teacher, Ratio Tile, nodded. "Good. I have seen this is very easy" he said, sarcastically. Ratio had never been as comfortable behind the controls of an airship as his pupil was.
Allah Gold and Ratio Tile are two of the greatest Hopeless Situation Warriors the galaxy has ever known. Ratio Tile is the elder of the two, the experienced teacher, but his pupil is a phenomenon in his own right. Hopeless Situation prophecy suggests Allah Gold to be the chosen one, destined to bring balance to the Wish Power, the energy field surrounding all living things.
"My important Step Six" said Ratio into his speaker. Flying another airship behind him, the clone pilot Step Six responded. "Receive."
"I are above you four machine am after death at me" Ratio explained. Step Six nodded and directed the rest of the clones in his squadron forward.
"General, I now is to fights the appearance."
A large number of Abruption Doctrine airships approached the squadron of clone fighters. Allah Gold grinning in anticipation. "Game time started" he chuckled.
"Our dichotomy opens the combat" replied Ratio dryly as the airships engaged each other. The close-in dogfight was fierce, and flames began to bloom almost immediately.
"He is in my behind!" screamed a clone pilot as his airship disintegrated around him, hammered by bolts of energy from the Abruption robots.
"My distance his half kilometre!" shouted Allah, moving to turn his fighter around and head back into the fray.
"Not, let I to solve him" Ratio quickly advised. The clones were doing their job, after all, and the Hopeless Situation Warriors still had a mission to accomplish.
An Abruption robot pulled away from the main body of the fighting and loosed two missiles at the Hopeless Situation airships. Allah frowned. "Notice the guided missiles pull out high!"
"The guided missile can't beat the inside mine" Ratio replied dismissively. The missiles quickly proved him wrong, matching the manoeuvres of the Hopeless Situation airships with near perfect accuracy.
"Led to bounce back" Allah said, pointedly. Ratio rolled his eyes. Allah's robot companion, Reach the Man, an R2 unit, beeped, and Ratio grinned.
"Like, Reach the Man, good, good, good, let us counter-attacking." The robot beeped again in agreement. The missiles were closing in. Allah Gold began to spin his airship around, leading the missiles into a tight spiral. "You remain on standby!" he shouted to Ratio. "I use the backset equips!"
Ratio watched as the two missiles collided with each other, their electronic brains scrambled by the complexity of Allah's flying skills. Allah grinned as the missiles exploded. "Two fix together" he joked.
Ratio was generally okay with Allah's jokes, but now wasn't the time. "The disgusting thing came" he muttered, glancing at the approaching missiles. "True vexed."
"Is an airship robot" frowned Allah as the missiles exploded, showering Ratio's airship with a small army of specialized robots, designed to shred airships to pieces mid-flight.
"R2, you careful point-" began Ratio as the airship robots crawled towards his own R2 unit. Before he could even finish the sentence, the airship robots had ripped R2's head off its body and sent it spinning away. "God" he muttered, flinching. "Have to think that the way stops them."
"I can then the close quarters beat them" suggested Allah. Ratio shook his head. "We must fly into the enemy's commander airship finds." Allah's suggested strategy was dangerous, and they had little time to spare.
Allah ignored his teacher's directions, instead flying back and opening fire, blasting several airship robots off Ratio's airship with pinpoint accuracy. Ratio had to admit, he was impressed. "Good kind of!" Nonetheless, there was no point in his student trying to save him. D the Superior was more important. "Do not beat, you can not help me like this!"
"I agree" Allah replied immediately. "My method is not so good." Instead of abandoning his teacher, however, Allah flew his airship alongside Ratio's.
"Is really to bother" sighed Ratio as the robots continued to cut into his vessel. Then he saw what Allah was doing, and his eyes widened.
Allah swung his airship towards Ratio's, carefully controlling it so as to not knock out the airship itself, whilst crushing the airship robots under the wing. Despite his care, he still managed to give Ratio a nasty knock.
"Do you fuck on I?" the Hopeless Situation Warrior complained. Allah ignored him. "Move to the right side" he ordered.
"Not line so we to would be over!" protested Ratio. "You leave here. You can not help mine!"
"I can of, teacher" retorted Allah, swinging the airship round again. This time, he crushed almost all the remaining robots, leaving just one to take the opportunity and jump onto his wing. The robot skittered over to Reach the Man and activated its drill, advancing threateningly.
"Beat it, R2!" ordered Allah. "Carefully!" he added, as a badly-aimed blast of electricity from Reach the Man failed to damage the Abruption attacker.
"Reach the Man!" Ratio suggested. "Beat it the in-between eye!"
Reach the Man fired another shocking burst, this one catching the airship robot directly in the middle of its three eyes. The robot collapsed and slid off the airship.
"Good, you beat the inside" Allah congratulated the robot. Ratio joined in. "Good kind of, R2."
With the robots gone, the two Hopeless Situation Warriors had a clear shot on the Abruption Doctrine flagship. Allah pointed it out. "The airship of the General in place ahead."
Ratio saw it and scowled. "You have and did not notice he wanted to blockade?" Sure enough, a massive blockade of Abruption droids was in the way of the airship. Allah grimaced. "Sorry, teacher. I walk first one step."
Allah flew past the droids and fired a few bolts at the shields. The doors on the airship began to close, and the two Hopeless Situation Warriors raced towards the ship to get in before it was permanently locked.
"I feel far from good…" muttered Ratio.
The airships crashed into the deck of the larger vessel and skidded along the hanger. Ratio Tile leapt out of his before it had even stopped moving. Drawing his lightsaber, he began to slice through the robots manning the deck. Allah Gold quickly followed.
"R2! Find the Speaker!" ordered Ratio as the two Hopeless Situation Warriors continued to fight the robots.
Reach the Man plugged in to the airship's computer and summoned up a map. Before the last destroyed robot had even hit the floor, the Hopeless Situation Warriors approached to study it. Ratio pointed out the observation deck at the stern. "Speaker come out from… here of. The robot can search for with the machine" he suggested. Reach the Man beeped an affirmative.
"I think that I can then extrication he to" mused Allah. As he stood up, Ratio stopped him. "I feel this is a trap" he said.
Allah chuckled. "Remember the last time?"
Ratio nodded. The last time they'd fallen into a trap hadn't been pleasant at all. But they'd learned from that experience. "But we can will account and then account" he said.
As the two turned towards the lift, Reach the Man disengaged and turned to follow them. Allah held out a hand. "R2, come back. I need you foolish in ship."
Reach the Man beeped petulantly, but reluctantly rolled back towards the two airships. Ratio tossed him a telephone. "Take this, wait for the order."
Reach the Man watched as the two Hopeless Situation Warriors left the hanger to progress into the airship, idly wondering if he'd ever see them again.