I had been a vampire for a long time, how long exactly? I wasn't sure. I was changed for war and spent my vampire life fighting a fight which wasn't mine. Maria owned me and I thought I loved her. Even to this day I struggle with what she put me through, how she manipulated me, how she fooled me. I would never be so weak again, and that is why my current predicament confused me so much.
She was a human girl. I was going through Phoenix one night, searching for someone to kill when her scent overtook me. This had happened to me many times, but this time it didn't make my mouth water, it made my chest ache. It made me curious. I needed to get closer, so that's what I did. I slid through her bedroom window and she awoke immediately. She held no fear, she probably thought it was a dream.
From then on, I couldn't leave her alone. I was the Bringer of Darkness, I killed everyone in my path, but not her. I visited her every night. She felt connected to me too, I could feel it. I wasn't sure what it was, but human life was so fleeting, so I decided to just do right by myself, and I wanted her. I joined her in her bed, not to have sex, just to be closer to her. She was conflicted too, and her emotions were muted. She fascinated me.
It had been two weeks now and I had been here every night. I knew it wouldn't last, but I didn't care. I liked being alone in this world, I was a nomad, but when she was with me, things felt better. It made no sense, she was a human, she meant nothing to me, yet here I was, night-after-night, spending my time with her. I had never willingly stayed in one spot for so long.
I always waited for her to be almost asleep before I joined her. She could be feisty when she wanted and she wasn't afraid to bite back. I didn't like to be challenged, no one who knew me was ever foolish enough to go against me, but she didn't know me, and I liked watching her try. She was so weak compared to me, I could end her life in less than a second, but I wouldn't.
Tonight was no different. I slid in through her window, which she left unlocked for me. She could fight this all she wanted, but her actions and emotions didn't lie. She liked spending time with me too. She was facing away from me, but I didn't mind. I laid down behind her and pulled her back against my front. She sighed, but didn't move.
"You can't keep doing this," she mumbled, half-asleep, "I don't even know your name."
And she never would. It wasn't important information. I knew her name though, Isabella Marie Swan, she preferred Bella. Sometimes before she went to bed, I would hear her fighting with her mother. They had a strained relationship and her mother's new boyfriend wasn't making things any easier. Bella didn't like it here, but from what I could gather, she was stuck. When she was with me, when I was holding her close like this, some of those feelings drifted away. She felt a sense of peace in my arms.
None of it made sense, she should fear me not find comfort with me. She should be running and screaming and telling her mother all about the monster in her room, yet she never did. She could run from me, I would let her, but she never did. She stayed with me, night-after-night. I could only hope she would want to stay with me forever, but emotions don't lie and Bella's were close to reaching a turning point. I held her to me tighter.
"Please," she said.
I had no idea what she was pleading for.
She pulled away from me, sitting up. What was going on now? Couldn't we just lay together like normal? Her eyes wouldn't meet mine and her emotions were dimmer than usual.
"I'm leaving tomorrow," she told me, "and I don't want you to follow me."
This was not ideal.
"How much time do you need away from me?" I asked. I knew this was coming.
"Are you immortal?" Bella asked, I grunted in agreement, "then an eternity."
"Why are you doing this? I haven't hurt you, I've been good to you."
"Please," Bella said, "I need a break. This is too much."
I knew this was coming, I tried to deny it, but emotions don't lie. Bella had been feeling resentment towards me for a few days now, she felt overwhelmed and trapped. I had hoped it would go away, I had hoped the positives would outweigh the negatives, but they didn't.
"Can you at least lay down so I can hold you one last time?" I asked.
Bella tensed. "Why are you asking me? You never have before. You always take what you want from me."
"I never do anything you don't want and I'm asking because I want you to say yes. I don't want to piss you off, you know I don't like it when you're upset at me."
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Answer my question," I snarled.
She was leaving me, so what was the point of any of this? You can't keep someone who's feeling resentment, it only gets worse. I didn't want Bella to end up hating me.
"My mom's home," Bella said, "if I call out she'll come running."
"I doubt that." Bella would never call for her mother, I knew that. "Stop this. Can I hold you or not?"
"I'll let you go," I said, "I won't come looking for you."
"Can I trust your word?" She was close to giving me what I wanted.
"I've never lied to you."
Finally. I didn't wait for her to lie back down, I just pulled her back against me. This is where she belonged, I let out a small purr of contentment.
"Will you keep your word?" she asked.
"Hush now, I like it better when you don't talk." That wasn't true, but I was mad at her and she had hurt me.
Bella huffed. "I need to know that you're serious about this. I need time to myself."
"I know," I breathed out, "just shut the fuck up and let me enjoy holding you one last time."
Bella turned in my arms so she could rest her head against my chest. This was a first, we were never face-to-face. I held her to me tightly.
"Can you tell me your name now?" she asked, her hand splayed on my chest.
"I swear to fucking god, shut the fuck up already."
"Answer my question and I will," she bit back.
"Because you're leaving me. Now, shut up."