Bentley's First Day

by Layton Colt

Prequel to Why Me? A look at the SGC through Bentley's rather twisted pair of rose colored glasses.

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Author's Notes: Those of you who liked the character Bentley from 'Why Me?'- -enjoy. Those of you who wished her to die a horrible death, well, this story probably isn't for you.

There are some references to the show Star Trek Voyager, if you're unfamiliar with it, just know, the Captain of the ship was Kathryn Janeway.

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'You are my sunshine--my ONLY sunshine.'

Jeez but there are a lot of check points in this place. Everyone's just so suspicious.

I mean, yea, sure, so apparently this place has been overtaken by aliens a couple times. Big deal. Look at how many times Captain Kathryn Janeway had to face near death--she, at least, did it with style and grace. She didn't get psycho paranoid.

This General Hammond could probably learn a lot from her. I'd tell him so when I see him, but I've been warned on many occasions by my CO's to watch what I say. They told me I'm missing some kind of connection between my mouth and brain that is necessary to my physical well being. Don't know what they meant by that, but, oh well.

Sheesh. What are these people doing here? A 'gate? Why don't we have any spaceships? I WANT to fly a spaceship. Don't they watch any science fiction at all? They really need to catch up on the times.

I should know, you know. I'M a Trekkie and much better prepared to handle interstellar relations than anyone else here, I'm sure. I know it's only my first day, but I already feel that I'm going to fit right in. I'll probably be running the place in a couple of years.

"Watch out!"

I look up at the shout. Huh. That's . . . odd.

Well, what do we have here? I ignore the furry purple animal running towards me in favor of smiling at the rather attractive men chasing it.

"Out of the way!" one of them growls.

Hum. A little old for me, but he's got spirit.

"Captain, watch out!"

Another man comes from the other direction and pulls me out of the way. The furry animal . . . ah thing, disappears around the corner along with the dreamy guys.

"Didn't you see them?"

How could I miss them?

I look up. There's a rather angry Major glaring at me. "Ah, sir?"

"They nearly ran you down! Who are you, anyway?"

"Captain Sarah Bentley, sir, it's my first day."

He smiles wryly then. "Right. First day, huh? I'm Major Ferretti, it's nice to meet you."

Okay, so maybe the people here aren't all suspicious loons. This guy seems okay. I give him my best smile. "Nice to meet you, as well, sir. If I may, what--"

"It was a stowaway," he explains quickly. "Some kind of indigenous life form from PX3466."

"Actually, I wanted to know the names of the men following it." And their numbers, if you wouldn't mind.

"Oh, um, that was half of SG-1. The crazy half."

"Excuse me?"

"Colonel Jack O'Neill and Doctor Daniel Jackson," he explains. "You've never heard of them?"

"No."

"You are new. Don't worry about it; I'm sure you'll know more about them than you ever wanted before it's over."

I don't think that's possible.

"Right, sir. Now if you don't mind, I'm supposed to report to General Hammond."

"Right, of course."

I smile again. I'm told it's my best quality.

"Oh, hey, Bentley," he calls as I start on my way. I turn back to face him. "Good luck."

"Uh . . . thank you, sir."

Good luck? Good luck at what?

Well, I'm sure he was just being nice. Probably one of those types that never knows quite the right thing to say. I feel bad for those people. I'm very eloquent.

Did they have to paint all of these walls grey? I mean really. My sister is an interior designer, I bet if I could get her clearance she'd brighten this place right up. Though, it might be better if I just did it myself. Michelle is a bit of an incompetent.

"Hold still! It can't hurt that bad."

I sneak a look inside the doorway. There's a rather tiny woman yelling at a marine.

"I said, hold still!"

She looks up then, and glances over at me. "Can I help you?" she asks.

"No, ma'am," I say quickly. I don't like this woman. She's a bit scary.

She finishes bandaging the marines hand and turns to face me. "Are you sure? I've only seen seven people in here today, you're sure you aren't hurt?"

"Only?" I repeat.

"Yes, well, it's been a slow day," she responds. "I'm Doctor Frazier. Are you new here?"

"Yes. It's my first day."

She smiles then, and it takes away a bit of her scariness. "Having fun yet?" she asks.

"Yep. Though, I'd like it better if we were on a spaceship."

Doc Frazier laughs then. I think she believes I'm joking.

"Have you reported to General Hammond yet?" she asks.

"No. I'm on my way there now."

She nods. "He's a good man."

Sure, he's probably a very nice person. He isn't any Captain Janeway though, I'll tell you that.

Captain Janeway's got a ship.

"I should go then," I say and I quickly back up through the doorway.

She watches me strangely as I go and I fight the urge to run. Maybe she's a killer munchkin come to take over Earth. I don't trust that one, I'll tell you that. I've got my eye on you Doc, BOTH of them.

As I make my way around the corner, I suddenly slam into wall. Where'd that come from?

Dizzily, I look up. And up. Any UP. "Ah, hello."

"Are you injured?" the wall asks deeply.

I shake my head. And I was afraid of the munchkin.

"Teal'c, did Daniel and the Colonel--" the woman who just ran up trails off as she spots me. "Hi, you must be the new transfer. I'm Captain Carter."

I fight the urge to let my eyes narrow. I sense competition. The pretty little blonde captain has her sights on my men. I just know it.

"I'm Captain Bentley," I say levelly. Best not to let on I know what she's up to. Keep your enemies close, they say.

The wall named Teal'c nods at me. "It is good to meet your acquaintance."

One of his eyebrows raise as his greeting elicits one of my 'killer smiles.' If he had pointy ears, I'd swear he was Vulcan.

"Teal'c, we've got to go," my competition says to the wall called Teal'c. She turns to me. "Have you happened to see the rest of our team?"

"The crazy half?" I ask.

Carter breaks out into a smile. My smile is better than hers. I was prom queen, you know. "That would be them," she says.

"They ran by a little while ago," I tell her. It was a beautiful sight.

"Thanks," she says, before taking off with the Vulcan wall running right behind her.

I'm starting to run a little late, I think. So I start back towards General Hammond's office. I hear yet more shouting as I turn into another hallway. Doesn't anyone here know how to use their inside voice?

"Rothman, don't!"

As I get closer, I hear a loud explosion. Two men run from the room and nearly right into me. Seconds later, the door to said room flies off its hinges and slams into the opposite wall. Black smoke starts to drift from the doorway.

"I TOLD you not to touch it, Rothman," one of the men says angrily.

The other pushes up his glasses and shrugs. "I couldn't have known it was really the Goa'uld version of a hand grenade. I thought it was a paperweight."

I watch them for a moment, but they are boring so I continue on my way. Mindful to step over the door now lying in the hallway.

Finally I reach the center of the complex. I start up a small stairwell, and make my way through a conference room. The door in front of me says 'Gen. George Hammond,' so I'm assuming I've found the right one.

I knock crisply and straighten up. Best to make a good first impression. I wonder if my hair looks alright?

"Come in."

I open the door and enter. I stand at perfect attention in front of his desk. My, am I good at this. It's quite surprising that I'm not a Major yet.

"Captain Bentley," the General smiles.

This is HIM? This kindly little man? He looks like my grandfather for goodness sakes.

"Sir," I say. He really does need some lessons from Janeway. Maybe I'll bring him my Voyager tapes--they'd do him good.

"How--"

The General is interrupted as the door flies open. Belatedly, I realize I never closed it all the way. Oops.

The small purple animal zooms screeching into the room. Running up the far wall and clinging onto it with its nails.

"God dammit!"

Two more figures fly into the room, falling over each other as they both try to make it through the door at the same time.

I'm starting to see why these two might be known as 'the crazy half.'

"Jack, get OFF of me," the cutie pie complains.

I hope someday--he'll be saying that same thing to me.

The two of them finally manage to get to their feet. My smile is pretty wide by this point, and the older cutie pie gives me a suspicious glance. Ah, he's one of those--one of the paranoid loons.

"Sir," the Colonel says. "Sorry--"

"Just get it out of here, Colonel," Hammond demands.

"Yes, sir."

"Jack, be careful," young cutie pie says. "You know what happened last time . . ."

"Daniel, I can handle it, okay? Thank you."

The Colonel approaches the animal warily. His hands out in front of him preparing to grab him. Just as he gets close enough, the things makes a loud, high pitched noise and lunges outwards.

He slams into the Colonel's shoulders, his nails contacting with his flesh briefly before he landed on the floor and took off right back out the door.

"God damn stupid purple ferret! Sonavabitch!" the Colonel yells.

Oh, I definitely like him. Paranoid or not.

"Colonel," Hammond says with concern.

"I'm fine, sir," he responds.

"Jack," young cutie pie says. "We should . . . uh, go try to--"

"Right behind you," the Colonel says. He nods to the general and then turns to follow cutie pie out the door, muttering something about 'stupid turbo mice.'

After the beautiful men are gone from my view, I turn my attention back the general. He's rubbing his forehead and looks rather resigned.

Don't let it beat you, George Hammond. Never give up! NEVER surrender.

"Well, Captain Bentley," he says.

I meet his eyes. "Yes, sir?"

"Welcome to the SGC."

The End.

Now is probably a good time to apologize for writing this . . . sorry guys. I know it makes little to no sense, but then, most of my stories do. Or don't. Whatever.

I've had this idea since I first wrote Why Me? and have been meaning to do it ever since. I just had to--stupid as it is.