The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just enjoy torturing and/or pairing the characters.
Author's Notes: *looks at reviews* 181?! DEAR LORD!! THAT'S ALMOST TWO HUNDRED!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Oh right. I bet you're all wondering what I'm doing posting ANOTHER chapter. Sorries, but I had the kawaiiest idea and had to make a chapter out of it!! Think of it as a second epilogue or an epilogue part two. Does it matter? It's ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!
The Epilogue of Doom! Part Two!
Somewhere in the distant future...
To: Hiei & Botan
Hey guys. I've heard from Yusuke and Keiko lately, and they're thinking about having a reunion back in Tokyo, and they want you guys to come. We haven't seen you guys since Kintora was just a little tyke. How's she doing, anyway? Well, you can tell us when you meet us for the reunion, right? It's in Tokyo at the usual place on November 3rd. Be sure to come, all right?
"A reunion, huh?"
A week later...
The sounds of distant chatter made their way to the ears of three travelers. They were climbing the massive stairs that led to Genkai's former temple, now the home of Yukina and Kuwabara, and the place where the Reikai Tantei always gathered.
The group of travelers consisted of a black haired, black garbed man, a woman with light blue hair and dressed in black as well, and a child with black hair dressed in a blue kimono. Said child was slightly ahead of the two adults, floating around on a small oar.
"Are we almost there?" the child asked.
"Just a few more steps, Kintora," the woman said, wishing that she still had her spirit oar.
"Hn. I don't see the point of another reunion..." the man said. The woman turned to him.
"Oh, come on! You really expect me to believe that you aren't just a little excited about seeing everyone again? It's been almost six years." she said.
"You know me too well, onna," the man said, annoyed. A devious smile crept to her lips and she leaned over to him, whispering something in his ear that made him smile.
"Hey hey hey!!! Mom, dad!! I see the temple!!" Kintora shouted excitedly, floating back to them and flying in circles around the man's head. He acted as if what she was doing was normal.
"You do? Great. Now, I want you to stay behind me so no one can see you. Daddy wants to play a trick on some of his old friends," the man said, smirking evilly.
"Okay!" Kintora exclaimed, and flew behind him.
"Good girl," he replied.
"Honestly..." the woman said, shaking her head. They climbed a few more stairs, and finally the huge staircase ended, being replaced by a stone courtyard. On the other side of the courtyard was a temple made partly out of stone and partly out of wood. Within it was the source of the chatter the travelers had heard earlier. Suddenly, the doors opened, and a man with orange hair emerged, followed by another man, with long pinkish-reddish hair.
"Hey! You guys made it!" the orange haired man exclaimed.
"Of course they did," the red haired man replied, "I threatened them,"
"Oh, we didn't pay attention to your threat. We...well, at the very least me, wanted to see all of you guys again," the blue haired woman replied. Suddenly, a green haired woman in an ice blue kimono appeared behind them.
"Who's here? Oh! Hello, oniisan, Botan-chan," she said, bowing politely. At this motion, the white bundle of cloth in her arms suddenly started to cry.
"Kori-chan, it's okay, it's okay!" the green haired woman sang, unwrapping part of the bundle to reveal a head with messy green hair.
"Wow, Yukina! So this is Kori? She looks just like you," said the blue haired woman, who had come to stand next to the green haired woman.
"Arigatou, Botan-chan," Yukina replied.
"Speaking of children...where is Kintora, Hiei?" the red haired man asked the black haired man. A giggle suddenly came from behind the black haired man.
"Can I come out now, daddy?" the voice asked.
"Sure," Hiei replied with a sigh. His plan was ruined. Oh well. Kintora suddenly peeked her head around the side of Hiei's shoulder and looked at them, curiously. She still hovered on her oar. The red haired man, the orange haired man, and Yukina all stared at the little girl, amazed.
"Wow...she looks like a little clone of you, Botan, but with Hiei's hair," was all the orange haired man could think of to say.
"How DARE you insult my child like that, Kuwabara!!!" Botan exclaimed, hitting the orange haired man on the head with her trusty 'Baka Mallet of Doom'. (*singing* Baka Mallet!! More trusty than a sledgehammer, more versatile than a frying pan! Get yours today!! BAKA MALLET!!! Baka Mallet!)
"Ow..." squeaked Kuwabara. Kintaro just looked on with ever curious eyes.
"Daddy, is mom always this violent?" she asked.
"Yeah, pretty much," he replied, making sure that Botan didn't hear him.
"Speaking of bakas," muttered Botan, and turned to Kurama, "where is Yusuke?" she asked. As if on cue, a shout suddenly turned their attentions toward the stairs on the opposite side of the courtyard. They were greeted with a very strange sight.
What looked like a smaller version of Yusuke was riding on the much larger version of Yusuke's shoulders, with Keiko walking beside them, holding a basket of stuff.
"Speak of the devil and he comes." Botan said, shaking her head.
"Well well well. Look who's back after six years!" Yusuke called to them, addressing Hiei and Botan.
"Very funny, Yusuke," Botan called back. Kintora blinked, and floated up to them, flying in circles around the miniature Yusuke.
"You look kinda familiar," she said, examining him. The miniature Yusuke looked kind of freaked out.
"Dad!! Tell her to stop flying around me!" the miniature Yusuke exclaimed. Yusuke ignored him and just smirked at Hiei and Botan.
"Well, I guess I don't have to ask if this is little Kintora. She looks like a clone of you, Botan. Well, except with Hiei's black hair," he remarked.
"NOT THE BAKA MALLET! MERCY!!" Yusuke pleaded.
"DO YOU AND KUWABARA SHARE THE SAME BRAIN?!" Botan demanded. The miniature Yusuke and Kintora stood off to the side, watching their parents have a good old fashioned brawl. The miniature Yusuke turned to Kintora.
"Hi, I'm Noroki," he said, politely. Kintora smiled at him.
"I'm Kintora," she introduced herself.
"Hey, ya want to see something really cool?" Noroki asked.
"Sure, I guess," Kintora replied. Noroki held up one hand with the fingers curved back except for his thumb and pointer finger.
"My dad taught me this," he said, and pointed his hand at a leaf nearby. A small version of the Spirit Gun blasted the leaf into smithereens. Kintora looked impressed.
"Wow. Hey! My daddy taught me how to sword fight, watch!" Kintora said, and produced her Boken from out of nowhere. She swung it around in a bunch of complex moves, and then attacked a nearby piece of vegetation. She seemed to pass through it, and when she landed on the other side, the vegetation split into four pieces and fell to the ground.
"Wow! Cool!" Noroki exclaimed.
"Hey, that was really cool! Can I try?" came a voice from nearby. The two children turned to see another child, this one slightly less tall than them. He had reddish-pink hair that spiked a little off of his head. In one hand he held a miniature red rose, and the other waved at them.
"Are you another kid of my parent's friends?" Kintora asked, curiously.
"Yeah! I'm Shoku," he introduced himself, and pointed directly at Kurama, "and that's my papa,"
"Wow! Hey, why are you carrying around a flower? Only girls carry around flowers," Noroki asked.
"My papa carries around flowers all of the time," Shoku defended.
"I like flowers," Kintora said, from out of nowhere.
"Hey, so were you going to show us a trick or something?" Noroki asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Watch, this is really cool." he said, and held up his rose. "Rose whip!" he said, and the rose turned into a miniature, non thorny rose whip.
"Cool!!" Kintora and Noroki exclaimed, in unison.
"Yeah, dad taught me that," explained Shoku, proudly.
"Well, my mom taught me how to fly around on this oar!" exclaimed Kintora, floating a few inches off of the ground on her oar.
"Well, MY mom taught me how to fight. Well, dad helped a little, but mostly mom," Noroki informed them. Shoku looked sad.
"I don't have a mom," he said.
"Oh?" asked Kintora.
"Yeah, daddy says that she went to a better place when I was very little," Shoku told them.
"Oh? That's too bad. I'm sorry," Kintora said.
Meanwhile, the parents had stopped fighting and were watching their children.
"You know, they kinda remind me of us when we were little," remarked Yusuke.
"Yeah, especially since your kid is just a clone of you," Kuwabara said. THWOCK! Yusuke hit him on the head. Yukina just shook her head and sighed.
"You have to wonder," Kurama said, ignoring the violence as if it were a normal thing with these people (which it probably was...), "...what they'll all look like when they are older,"
"Well...Noroki will look like Yusuke, Kintora will look like Botan but with black hair, and Shoku will probably just look like Kurama." Kuwabara said.
THWOCK! WHAM!! BLAM!! FOOSH!!
"I'll have you know that Noroki looks a LOT more like Keiko without his hair greased back!" Yusuke defended.
"And Kintora only looks like me because of her hairstyle!" Botan added.
"And Shoku doesn't even look REMOTELY similar to me in any way except for the hair color! And possibly the rose whip!" Kurama exclaimed.
"Stop insulting our children!! Are you ASKING for a concussion?!" Keiko shrieked.
"If he is then I'll be glad to give him one," Hiei said, cracking his knuckles for effect.
"Honey, you really need to stop. You're setting a bad example for the children," Yukina reprimanded. Kuwabara sighed, outnumbered and defeated.
"Okay. I'm sorry guys." Kuwabara replied.
"I want to be the leader!" Kintora exclaimed.
"No, I'm the leader!" Noroki shouted.
"ME!!" Kintora argued.
"But my dad was the leader of the spirit detective things!"
"My dad was the most powerful one!"
"Nah uh!! My dad was!"
"No, my dad was!"
"Hey, can we just stop fighting and settle this in a fair way?" Shoku pleaded.
"Okay." both of the fighting children sighed.
"Now, I think I should be the leader," Shoku said.
"What makes you think YOU get to be the leader?!" Noroki demanded.
"Well, I'm a full demon! You guys aren't!" Shoku replied.
"Well I'm HALF demon!" exclaimed Kintora, proudly.
"Well I'm full HUMAN! So ha!" Noroki exclaimed.
"Well I'm the cutest here!" Shoku argued.
"Nah uh!" Noroki exclaimed.
"If you're going to say that then KORI will have to be our leader!" Kintora pointed out.
"Well...um...why don't we play a game without a leader?" Shoku requested.
"No!! You just don't want anyone to be the leader but you!" Noroki exclaimed.
"I just want to play a game! Can't we just pick me?" whined Kintora.
"NO!!" shouted Shoku and Noroki.
"Aww...look at that! They're arguing just like all of us do!" Botan said, with the 'kawaii!' face. Everyone else sweatdropped.
"You know what would be weird?" Kuwabara suddenly asked out of the blue.
"If our children grew up to be the new Rekai Tantei," he answered.
"That'd never happen," Yusuke remarked.
"Well, you never know. Some people say that traits in parents are doubled in their children," Kurama said.
"Umm, in English?" Kuwabara requested.
"Our kids will be twice as strong as we are with Spirit power and fighting maneuvers,"
"Plus, these kids have pretty powerful parents," Keiko added.
"Yeah, that's true. Like little Noroki has Yusuke's Spirit powers, his fighting style, and Keiko's ...erm, fighting style as well," Kurama said, nicely avoiding Keiko's wrath.
"Don't you mean her temper?" Yusuke asked, failing to avoid the wrath of Keiko.
"You think I would be used to being hit in the head by now..." Yusuke asked, rubbing his bruised cranium.
"Believe me, you don't," Hiei said. Botan glared at him.
"Well that's because I don't hit you in the head much any more," she replied.
"And Kintora has Botan's ability to hit people in the head with her oar, and Hiei's Spirit powers and fighting style. Not to mention she's half demon," Kurama continued, ignoring their bickering.
"You can say that again," Kuwabara said, pointing over in the direction the children were in. Noroki was running frantically around in circles flailing his arms as Kintora chased him around on her oar, boken raised above her head in a threatening manner, shrieking at Noroki. Kurama chuckled at the irony of the situation. Hiei smirked, proudly.
"And Shoku looks like he inherited Kurama's powers," Yukina said, just as Shoku stepped in to the fight and used his (non-thorny, by the way) miniature Rose Whip to restrain Kintora. Yusuke suddenly thought of something. (GASP!! Heh, just kidding...sorry! ^_^''')
"If Shoku has your powers, then can he also turn into a Youko?" he asked.
"I don't think so. His mother was a wolf. It would be interesting if he could, though," Kurama replied.
"And little Kori will be pretty powerful, too. She has Kuwabara's Spirit powers and plus she's half koorime," Botan said.
"It would be a very interesting tantei, that's for sure," Hiei concluded. Everyone nodded, looking over at the three chibis.
"It's my turn!"
"No it's mine!!"
They were currently using Shoku's Rose Whip as a jump rope, and, of course, Kintora and Noroki were fighting over who got to jump and who had to swing the jump rope.
"I've been swinging the rope since we started! Can't I have a turn?" Shoku put in.
"NO!" Kintora and Noroki exclaimed.
"Gakis," Shoku muttered.
"So are you!" Kintora replied.
"Nah uh!!" Shoku defended.
"Those three are going to be best friends when they get older," Kurama remarked.
"Hard to believe, though." Keiko said. Botan leaned over to Hiei as the conversation continued.
"Hey, I think it's safe to say that Kintora is preoccupied right now," Botan whispered to him. He turned to her and smiled deviously.
"Onna, I always have liked the way you think," he said. With that they got up and tried to sneak away discreetly. Of course, they were noticed.
"Where do you think they're going?" Kuwabara asked.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" Yusuke asked. Yukina sighed.
"You know, they've been together longer than any of us, but they're still just as in love as they were when they first got together. That's so poetic," she said.
"We're still that much in love," Kuwabara pointed out.
"Yes, but they've been together much longer than us," Yukina explained.
"So are you saying that you're not going to love me in a few years?!"
"No no no! I'm just saying..oh, never mind," she gave up, leaving Kuwabara distressed and confused, as usual. Just then, Kintora flew up to them.
"Where did mom and daddy go?" she asked.
"Oh, they went to go b—" Yusuke started, but Keiko smacked him on the head, silencing him.
"They went to...um, go make lunch!" she quickly covered.
"Oh. Okay!" Kintora said, smiled, and went back over to the other children. As soon as she was out of hearing range...
"YOU BAKA!!" Keiko exclaimed. "It's bad enough that you talk that way around Noroki, but you don't have to corrupt other people's children, dimwit!"
"I love you too, honey," Yusuke replied, sarcastically.
Well, that's it! Thanks again to everyone that reviewed. Without you guys I never would have made it this far!! So thankies and many popsicles to all of you! Well, THIS is the end *sniff sniff* of The Fates Have a Twisted Sense of Humor. (This is REALLY the end, I promise!) I have the kawaiiest idea for a sequel, so be on the look out for it (but don't murder me if I don't get around to writing it...).
Oh, and after re-reading the entire story over again, it seems like a lot of the ideas I started with and tried to incorporate into the story are missing. Oh well. I must have come up with eight different ways the story could have progressed and ten or so endings, but I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. If it seems as if I go from one extreme to another in writing, that's because I did. It took me quite a while to write this thing, and I swear I was in a different mood for each chapter. *shrug* I apologize if this is confusing. Heck, I'M confused by it and I wrote it. Oh well.
And, to finish it all off...the translation to all of the Japanese words used in this chapter!
Ningen = human
Reikai Tantei = Spirit Detectives
Onna = woman
Oniisan = older brother
Arigatou = thank you
Boken = wooden sword
Chibis = children, I think. There's no real way to explain the word 'chibi'
Youko = the spiffycool white haired, yellow eyed fox form of Kurama
Gaki = brat