Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

Story begins after "Lies my parents told me"

Buffy was restless after her falling out with Giles. She couldn't believe that he could be so vicious. She knew it was a little harsh shutting him out like that, but what did he expect. He tried to kill her strongest fighter, her partner, her….Spike. Okay, so maybe he isn't her Spike, but on some level he is…hers…isn't he? She was pacing in her room contemplating the night's events when she stopped in front of her mirror.

"Uuuugh, I've got to get out of here!"

"Great now I'm talking to me self, I'm turning all….psycho girl "

She couldn't stand it anymore. Spike disappeared after she saw him outside of Robyn's, she slammed the door on Giles' face, and she was driving herself nuts. She needed a walk. She quickly got dressed, throwing on her black leather pants and a white tank top, and hit the streets. As she was walking she starting thinking of how close she had come to losing Spike, and again started wondering how Giles could do this to her. Then again, he didn't act alone- it really was Robyn's fault wasn't it. It was his search for vengeance that started this.

"I can't believe he would do that to me!" She screamed as she reached the cemetery, not even realizing that she had headed straight in that direction.

She had been so confused about her relationship with Spike lately. She knew she loved him, more or less in the same way she loved Willow and Xander. Okay, so maybe a little more than less- heading in a different direction, but that didn't really matter, did it? "Think about the mission" Giles had said to her, and that's what she was doing. She was willing to sacrifice whatever it took to win this battle; only she couldn't understand why Giles refused to see how important an Ally Spike would be.

And then there was the whole Spike thing in itself. It's been getting harder and harder lately to be so close to him in that house and not act on her impulses.

"The mission is what matters," she kept telling herself over and over again. But she couldn't help but feel that she was missing something from her life.

"Talking to someone pet?" Spike asked as he appeared from behind a crypt a few feet in front of her.


"Kind of late for a walk in the park love, isn't it"

"I couldn't sleep. I thought it might help, you know, clear my mind. I'm sorry about tonight Spike, I didn't know… "

"I know…"

"Why didn't you come home?"

"Home? I thought it might be wise to keep my distance, 'specially since it seems that pretty much everyone wants me dead"

"That's not….well, okay, maybe Giles, and the potentials….probably Xander…"

"I get it…maybe you should stop trying to convince me" he retorted. He'd had one hell of a night hadn't he? He thought about leaving probably ten times in one hour, but knew he couldn't leave Buffy now that she needed him. The truth was that he needed her too. He couldn't picture any place without her, although he knew the time was coming soon that he would need to go for good.

"What's important though is that I want you there Spike. I was…worried"

"About me love?" He laughed a little, "I've fought much stronger enemies than old Woody before. I gave him bloody hell, I did."

"I know Spike, it's just…when you didn't come home…"

"What? You thought I left? Thought about it…realized I couldn't do that. Not to you anyway. If it were just the rest of them I would have disappeared." He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked deep into her eyes, "I wouldn't do that to you pet, you know that don't you?"

"I…" She pictured her self just reaching over and kissing him at that moment. She could see herself wrap her arms and legs around his body right then and there and kissing him like never before. "…I know" she said and moved back a little. She had to think about the mission, the mission is what matters"

"It will be daylight soon" she said to him, "we better start heading back"

"Okay, but you keep them off my back love, I'm not in the mood for any more surprises tonight."

They headed back to the house and she walked down to the basement with him. She looked at the cuffs and chains on the wall… "I heard the trigger isn't working anymore…I'm glad I don't need to put you in those" she said pointing to them.

"Yeah well, maybe next time" he winked.

Buffy blushed a little, and as she was starting to say goodnight Spike grabbed her and kissed her so fiercely that she could hardly breath when he pulled back.

"Sorry" he said, "I needed that"

She simply smiled and headed up the stairs…