Story No. FRVS003
Episode #1x02

"Lucky Charms vs. Cheerios"

Written By: Cassie & Kristi

Final Draft: July 1998

Copyright 1998 © FRVS – All Rights Reserved.
This script is sole property of "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series and may not be photocopied, reproduced or sold.

Title: "Lucky Charms vs. Cheerios"

Series: FRVS - Episode #003

Written by: Cassie & Kristi

Classification: humor

Rating: PG

Air Date: 24 October 1999

Date Written: ≈ July 1998

Summary: Mulder and Krycek argue over what cereal to get...

Spoilers: None, we try to create our own stuff... but remember sometimes we have to refer to happenings in the actual show "The X-Files."

Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).

Author's Note: Sometimes the actions of these characters are cartoonish in nature. If you actually think that following their horrible example is a good thing to do, we are not responsible for your lack of common sense. The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor.

Warning... we wrote this at 1:30am. =) Thank you Vince Gilligan for "Paper Hearts" scripts-The Six Philes of Separation, thank you John Shiban for "S.R. 819", "Monday", and "The Pine Bluff Variant"- Cassie,and Kristi, thank you Frank Spotnitz for "Detour"-Kristi.


FADE IN:

INT. MULDER'S APARTMENT - 4:20 A.M.
THURSDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER 1999

We see Mulder's hand reach for the phone... he needs a ride to the grocery store. He calls Krycek.

MULDER
I need a ride.

KRYCEK
(filtered)
Do you have any idea
what time it is?!

Mulder looks confused. He hasn't looked at the time yet. He woke up hungry and thought he needed food... his car broke down from a slashed tire...

CUT TO:

INT. KRYCEK'S BEDROOM

TIGHT ANGLE ON KRYCEK

We see his messy hair... he does sleep... speaking into the phone...

KRYCEK
It's almost 4:30 in the morning.

CUT TO:

INT. MULDER'S APPARTMENT

TIGHT ANGLE ON MULDER

He is now sitting up in bed... no shirt on... messy hair.

MULDER
My watch says it's 10 am...

KRYCEK
(disbelief)
Oh. My. God.
(beat) Mulder?
Is your watch on ...
backwards?

MULDER
(off Krycek's beat)
What? Who cares what time it is.
(beat) I need my Lucky Charms.

Mulder stands up and turns on his light ... he is squinting with his beautiful hazel eyes ... the light is bright for a rainy morning. We hear a low rumble of thunder ... he looks out the window ... a storm is coming.

MULDER
Looks like you're gonna
have to come get me.

KRYCEK
(nuh-uh no way!)
What?!

MULDER
Someone slashed my tires (beat)
You're gonna have to pick me up.

KRYCEK
I live in the apartment
next to yours.

MULDER
Right. (beat) Just hurry up then.
Help me Obi-Wan Ke-Krycek,
you're my only hope.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

The first thing we hear is pouring rain and thunder. Lightning flashes.

INT. HAPPY GILLIGAN'S GROCERIES - 5:00 A.M.

We see... The Cashier Man... Bob... he is spacing out. He's a teenager, short, red hair, he is wearing an apron that says in big cerulean blue letters "Happy Gilligan's Employee".

POV OF BOB

Mulder and Krycek running through the rain because Krycek parked far away... on purpose. Little did he know that he would have to go inside the grocery store because Mulder doesn't have any money...

The door to Happy Gilligan's flies open. Mulder is wet and is wearing The Awesome Leather Jacket... Krycek takes his hood off... he glares at Mulder. Poor Bob has to say something to them...

BOB
(unenthousiastic, tired)
Welcome to Happy Gilligan's.
How may I help you?

Mulder looks at him... he is desperate for his Lucky Charms.

MULDER
(psychotically)
Lucky Charms!

BOB
(pointing, making no attempt to move)
Cereal aisle.

Mulder grabs Krycek's arm ... the prosthetic one? (we'll use Krycek's prosthetic arm when it suits the humor of our series, otherwise, he has both arms) ... and drags him to the cereal section ... Krycek rolls his eyes. Mulder reminds us of a little boy on a mission to find the toy at the bottom of a cereal box.

MULDER
Where is it?!

KRYCEK
How about Cheerios?

Mulder looks at Krycek as if he were the insane one! And starts to violently rummage through the cereal boxes ... there is one "Lucky Charms" box ... and it has expired past it's freshness date. Mulder holds the box out in front of him, as if he has conquered the world. Off his proud look ...

KRYCEK
Let's go.

Krycek starts to walk towards the register ... with the fresh box of Cheerios. Mulder pissed off, starts running towards him ... drawing his gun.

MULDER
NO-OOOOOOOOOO!

Off this, Mulder starts to randomly shoot his gun towards Krycek ... missing, but he doesn't miss all of the other cereal boxes. Cereal is flying everywhere, Krycek is dodging this bout of insanity. Mulder accidentally drops the box of "Lucky Charms", Krycek pulls out his gun and shoots the box of stale "Lucky Charms". Mulder doesn't notice yet. After a few scary moments of Mulder shooting his gun and continuously screaming "NO-OOOOOOO!", his gun runs out of bullets, and he keeps shooting: click, click, click. Realizing there are probably two or three boxes of cereal left, he turns around to find his "Lucky Charms", but only to find scattered wrecks of it mixed in with Cheerios, Chex, Oatmeal, Trix (are for kids!), etc, etc. Off his pained look ...

KRYCEK
Like I said.
We're leaving.

MULDER
What happened to my
"Lucky Charms"?

KRYCEK
It didn't survive
your rampage ...
I accidentally shot it
... self-defense.

MULDER
What are you getting?

KRYCEK
Cheerios.

MULDER
But, I don't like bees.

KRYCEK
(making fun of Mulder and his
near kiss with Scully last summer)
But Scully does.

MULDER
(looking pissed)
What do you mean by that?!

Krycek calmly, as if nothing just happened with weapons, and an argument over cereal, walks towards Bob, to pay for his Cheerios. Poor Mulder will have to live with that until he finds the end of his rainbow. After Krycek hands Bob the money, Mulder and Krycek run back to the car, leaving Bob with a horrible, terrible, awful mess of cereal in the cereal aisle. But Bob, being the lazy person that he is, looks at the mess, unties his apron, and walks out of HAPPY GILLIGAN'S GROCERIES.

With this we

FADE OUT:

THE END