Hold Each Other Close
They failed, Eugene had gotten away from them and it was all her fault. Just like it was her fault that Denise died, that Daryl got shot, that Sasha died.
She should have known that Eugene would try something, the fact that he had puked all over her really didn't surprise her. Eugene had always been clever in his way.
She remembered how Abraham used to tell her that Eugene would probably outlive the both of them, not because he had the skills but because he was a "Clever bastard who had sheer dumb luck and clever is his own damn way."
She rubbed the towel over herself one last time, before she changed into some clean cloths, she needed sleep, especially if Dwight's message was correct, tomorrow would be the day they ended this war.
She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at the door, she expected it to be Tara or Enid, who probably wanted to vent some more about Carl and their unborn child. Her heart brakes for the young girl who would soon be a single mother at the age of seventeen.
The door opened and Daryl walked in, he looked exhausted…and sexy in his leather vest and dark clothes.
She wouldn't deny that she was attracted to him, but Daryl Dixon was like a Sudoku puzzle, a pain in the ass to figure out, she had never been good at Sudoku.
"Hey I-I brought you some dinner," He held up a plate of food, "Its green bean casserole, Carol made it." He set the plate down on the dresser and nodded at her.
"Thanks Daryl." She said, pulling on a fresh pair of socks. You looked up at him, "Have you eaten?" she asked, studying his body language.
"Ain't hungry." He shrugged his shoulders.
"You need to eat Daryl." She picked up the plate, "Share it with me," she held out a fork to him.
He shrugs and together they sit on the bed in silence, eating the casserole and trying not to think about the fact that tomorrow either one of them or possibly both of them could die.
"…It wasn't your fault 'Sita." He said, lying back on the bed.
She shakes her head, "You're wrong…I should have been paying more attention to him, I should have seen it coming."
"No one could have seen that coming. The hell was it that he puked on you?"
"Sardine Mac and Cheese," she chuckles softly at a memory, "Eugene came up with it in college, he called it brain power food."
"Smelled like shit." Daryl says in disgust and she giggles.
"Most regurgitated food smells bad Daryl."
He rolls his eyes.
"We should have went after him sooner…we shouldn't have left him with them that long," her voice cracks and Daryl sits up, "Maybe if he hadn't been there then the saviours wouldn't have been able to escape and…and we wouldn't have lost all those people at Alexandria and at the Hilltop…maybe by some fluke the kid would still be alive." Tears fall from her eyes and down her face.
He frowns and slowly and hesitantly, he places a hand on her back and rubs soothing circles on her back.
Rosita feels his callused hand on her back and finds it soothing and comfortable.
"Carl…he should be here and so should Denise, Sasha and Olivia and everyone else…they should be here, they deserved to be here.
"Ya they do but so do you." Daryl says.
A huff of laughter escapes her mouth, "You think so, cause sometimes I don't." she says softly.
"Yeah…I do…hell I'm glad you're still here." He says and she swears she sees a very faint smile form on his lips.
"I'm glad you're still here to Daryl." She says and he snorts.
"…It's my fault that he's dead." Daryl says quietly.
She raises an eyebrow at him and a confused look appears on her face.
He looks at her and threw his messy hair, she can see that his eyes are wet, it is the first time she has seen him cry since Maggie's sister Beth died a couple years ago. It's weird seeing him cry, Daryl always seemed like the strongest one in the group, always pushing his emotions aside and taking care of everyone else.
"It's my fault that Carl died…it's my fault." He says, his voice shaky.
"Daryl…he was bit…there was nothing you could have done."
"I could have…if I had-hadn't been so obsessed with killin them…if I hadn't been so hotheaded and just listened to Rick…if I hadn't fought him and just agreed to go back to Alexandria," his voice is rough and thick with emotion, he is trying so hard not to break down. "If we had…if Rick had been there then maybe he could have gone with Carl and Carl…he wouldn't have been bit. If I wasn't so damn hotheaded than maybe Carl would still be alive." He is crying now, rough hoarse sobs escaped his mouth and Rosita leans her head on his shoulder and rubs his back soothingly with her tiny hand."
"Daryl you can't be sure of that…Carl is gone," tears spill from her eyes, "He's gone and It suck, but it wasn't anyone's fault…not Ricks, not Siddiqs, not Eugene's and definitely not yours." She says and he nods slowly.
"What do we do know?" he asks.
"We win this war and the we do what Carl wanted…we make something good, we make this world a better place." She says and he lets out a watery chuckle.
"You're wise you know that Rosita?"
She laughs and then yawns.
She nods, "Hmmm."
"Let's get some sleep, tomorrow is gonna be a rough day."
She nods and before she knows it they are lying on the bed, his big arms around her tiny waist and her tiny arms around his torso.
They just lay there and hold each other close, and for the first time in a long time they both sleep soundly and peacefully in each other's arms.